Why it still acceptable....

[SereneOne]

If someone is fat pointing out so is not an issue for me. I am short, it is a fact, I have no problem with it being stated. If someone is bald, pointing it out is not an issue. Pointing it out is different than making fun of it but I hate the PC police telling me that stating my opinion is wrong. I do find Kelly Clarkson a bit pudgy, maybe not fat, but pudgy.

Generally speaking Americans are much fatter than most. I spend time in Europe last year and it was startling how thinner the population was over there. I was on a cycling trip and everyone on the trip noticed it.

I don't make fun of weight and am all for helping anyone looking to lose it but if you are unhappy about how you look the reason is in the mirror, not in society. It is not hard to get information as to what is a healthy lifestyle, it is out there and easier to access now than it ever was. If you choose to make poor food choices than don't be surprised if you are called out on it. Yes, everyone has to eat but everyone doesn't have to eat cake or fried Twinkies, eat fruit and vegetables and lean meat. Making healthy choices is easier now than ever, just get the willpower.

No one had any busy "calling" someone on being overweight, it is NONE of their business, anymore than someone following you around and making nasty comments about your height. And btw, you can help that, they have a surgery overseas that makes you taller.

I gained a lot of weight with the death of my daughter and the worry of losing my other daughter the first few months of her life. I turned to food for comfort and was not exercising and was very depressed. A couple of years ago I lost forty pounds by exercising and eating healthy and then my daughter was hit with two surgeries including heart surgery and the other emergency. I returned to emotional eating, binging really and gained the forty pounds back. I am back on the bandwagon and trying to make running my bad habit instead of binging. It is a work in progress, but regardless of the reason for my weight gain, no one has the right to make derogatory comments to me, EVER.

Also, will power is a small part of it and it is beyond ignorant for you to be so dismissive of another person's problem. One could say the same thing about alcoholism or drugs or whatever and it would just be ignorant.

And another thing, it is not as easy to get information, there is a lot of MISinformation in what is healthy and not healthy. Eat carbs, don't eat carbs, eat protein, dont eat protein, stay away from corn syrup, corn syrup is okay, on and on and on. Unless you have walked in another's shoes and know for a fact the issues they face, don't belittle and simplify something you know nothing about.

 

[honugirl]

No one had any busy "calling" someone on being overweight, it is NONE of their business, anymore than someone following you around and making nasty comments about your height. And btw, you can help that, they have a surgery overseas that makes you taller.

I gained a lot of weight with the death of my daughter and the worry of losing my other daughter the first few months of her life. I turned to food for comfort and was not exercising and was very depressed. A couple of years ago I lost forty pounds by exercising and eating healthy and then my daughter was hit with two surgeries including heart surgery and the other emergency. I returned to emotional eating, binging really and gained the forty pounds back. I am back on the bandwagon and trying to make running my bad habit instead of binging. It is a work in progress, but regardless of the reason for my weight gain, no one has the right to make derogatory comments to me, EVER.

Also, will power is a small part of it and it is beyond ignorant for you to be so dismissive of another person's problem. One could say the same thing about alcoholism or drugs or whatever and it would just be ignorant.

And another thing, it is not as easy to get information, there is a lot of MISinformation in what is healthy and not healthy. Eat carbs, don't eat carbs, eat protein, dont eat protein, stay away from corn syrup, corn syrup is okay, on and on and on. Unless you have walked in another's shoes and know for a fact the issues they face, don't belittle and simplify something you know nothing about.

Sorry for the loss of your daughter and the health challenges of your other one. I hope that she is doing OK now.

Bravo on your post too. I totally agree.

 

[SereneOne]

I'm sorry but I find the whole cravings argument to be a cop out. Of course when I go to the 4th of July party and there is a table full of cupcakes I crave them, but instead I walk over to the bowl of fruit. When I go to the grocery store I crave what is in the cookie isle, but I don't go down it and buy what is there. Who wouldn't want to eat these things? However, I rarely do. As an example, just today someone brought in a huge tin of homemade potato chips. I had one and only one to try them. I would have loved to grab a bag full but didn't. This is where you have to step up and be accountable for your choices. If you have to have sugar it doesn't have to be a cookie or piece of cake. An apple or peach is full of natural sugar, have that.

I also hear from loads of people that they do everything they can to lose weight yet when I am at their home for food they have cheesy potatoes and sour cream laden dinner choices sitting on their table. I see people who will sit and wait for the closer parking space instead of park further away and walk or people who take the elevator to the second floor of the building while they are complaining about their inability to lose weight. I am still friends with them and won't not be so because of their weight and I don't sit there and pretend to be better, but I also don't pretend not to see what is right in front of my face either. If you are happy being overweight fine, no skin off my nose. Just don't say you wish you were thinner while you are doing things that are contrary to that goal.

The vast majority of my friends fall into these categories and I don't judge them but I notice them and if I hear something like "I wish I wasn't so fat" while they are enjoying a cupcake sitting on the porch asking their kids to bring them something from the fridge I will point out their BS. Put down the cupcake, get off your butt, and do something about it, don't complain. I want to do a triathlon but I don't complain about the fact I can't, I train so that I am able to.

This isn't me sitting here watching the world and making judgments from on high. It is noticing a disconnect between behavior and intent. No one will state that losing weight is easy, it takes work. It takes living a lifestyle conducive to losing weight, not going on diets for 3 months at a time.

I am on the WISH boards all the time and there are people who are struggling with weight. It is very supportive but along with the support comes responsibility. My problem is not with people who are fat and it isn't with people who are doing all they can to get healthier. My problem is with the notion that it is someone else's fault that they are like that. It is with the notion that "I don't know why I am not able to lose wight" while they are not actually doing anything substantial to do so. The people who reward themselves for going to the gym and barely doing anything with a Whopper on the way home. Those people are delusional. Don't want to do something, go out there and do it. I admire the person who is 100 pounds over weight and makes it their goal to walk a 5K and actually goes through steps to accomplish the goal way more than the person who sits on the couch and wonders why they can't lose weight.

Maybe this is harsh but it is how I feel. There is no reason we as a society are unable to maintain an acceptable health standard in this country. More often than not it is laziness, pure and simple. On the rare occasion that the health of an individual keeps them from doing any of this I do feel sorry for them. I also wonder how many people actually do have a medical condition. Further, how many medical conditions would be cured without drugs but a healthier lifestyle. How many people on cholesterol medication or with diabetes would not be in that situation if they had better BMI numbers? While not all a significant enough amount of people. This isn't addressed at the minority with real medical issues, it is addressed at the majority with nothing other than themselves to blame.

There you go again.

You are not with those people twentyfour-seven and whether they do anything about the fat issue or not, THAT GIVES YOU AND NO ONE ELSE THE RIGHT TO MAKE ABUSIVE COMMENTS. It is none of your darn business!

I park furthest away unless my daughter is with me or the weather is bad, I walk 10,000 steps a day on most days, I love fruit and veggies and I rarely eat sweets (I am more of a bread and pasta addict, sigh).

Everyone in my family is skinny and even UNDERweight and they eat whatever they want. (Husband 6feet about 150, he will eat a pan super supreme large pizza and still be hungry. When he was in the Navy they said he was thirty pounds underweight and they fed him extra rations and gave him Ensure, he did not gain a pound! My son is 6'2" and weighs in the 140's, he eats bacon cheeseburgers every day and donuts for breakfast with cappacino's every morning working at Dunkin Donuts. My 21 yo daughter is a size 4 and she eats a Homewrecker at Moe's while I get the kid's meal and NONE OF THEM EXERCISE unless you consider my husband inhaling half a chocolate cake watching Whale Wars exercise or my daughter eating Cheetos and sleeping exercise!)

My point is that just because you see a small portion of a person's life does not mean you know the whole story. You could have gone into Moe's and saw me eating my children's burrito and my daughter eating her homewrecker and thought, there is another fat person and they wonder why they are fat. You would not know the exercise I did that day, or that I had ate healthy all that week and that was my one splurge meal or what have you.

My other point is that whether or not someone does something about their weight does not give you or anyone else the right to make nasty comments to someone.

 

[The Orchid]

Honugirl and SereneOne!

 

[a paper star]

SereneOne I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but I applaud you for what you said.

I hate that today's world if you are not a size zero you are considered a Failure. What's even worse is that young girls see these girls/women in magazines and feel they must be that way too, this leads to starvation and extreme dieting which can lead to serious health problems. I know because I've been there for over a year I starved myself and I became underweight and had health problems since then I've gained weight but I gained it because I have 'mental issues/depression' and I gained in within a short amount of time too. I have extreme body issues and I really don't like comments about how ugly someone is, how fat someone is, ect. what if someone said something about you? It doesn't even have to be body image related. I just wish some people would think before they make comments like that. (I'm not talking just about here).

FireDancer I read you made remarks about Kelly Clarkson, have you heard that she's happy with her body and the way she looks? If she's happy why should it bother you?

 

[rie'smom]

A healthy lifestyle isn't hard to follow - however it is difficult to lose weight. I follow a healthy lifestyle - I eat plenty of fresh fruits and veggies as well as lean meat, however I am having trouble losing weight. I can't tell you the last time I had a Twinkie or even a candy bar. I do eat sweets, but I do so in moderation. Moderation is the key. Just because a person is oveweight doesn't mean that they don't deserve to have a Twinkie or cake within moderation.

It has nothing to do with my will-power because I am used to eating healthy. I have an under-active thyroid which hinders my weight loss.

I didn't like what I saw in the mirror so I decided to change. The change isn't happening as fast as I would like it to, but I'm trying my best. I hate the idea of being judged by what is solely on the outside when that person doesn't even know what is on the inside. No offense, but saying that overweight people don't have the will power is making fun of them.

Consider seeing your doctor and have him do a thyroid test called the Free T3 and T4 blood test- make sure it is the free test and not the regular thyroid test. If you're over 34 the chances are higher that you could be suffering from hypothyroidism. One of the signs is it being hard for weight to come off even though you east right and exercise. Here are some other symptoms:

Symptoms of Hypothyroidism

* Fatigue
* Weakness
* Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
* Coarse, dry hair
* Dry, rough pale skin
* Hair loss
* Cold intolerance (you can't tolerate cold temperatures like those around you)
* Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
* Constipation
* Depression
* Irritability
* Memory loss
* Abnormal menstrual cycles
* Decreased libido

*disclaimer:I'm not a medical professional and I'm not trying to diagnose just giving a suggestion.

 

[DWGal210]

Hey there guys and gals, OP here.

My internet at home is on the fritz thus the reason I was not able to respond last night.

First, I want to say that I do agree 100% with the argument for health. I totally agree - you need to eat in balance and moderation, you need to exercise, etc.

However, I guess my main point was that in these magazines, tv, etc, the discussion of weight is never framed in the context of "health." Instead, it's all about being skinny - not thin, not healthy - skinny.

(Now I know I shouldn't read those magazines, it will just drive you nuts) It just kills me that in the same magazines, they'll run stories about Star A being a bit heavy, then in the same issue run another story about Star B being too skinny. So which is it?! From reading this crap, you get the impression that they think you need to be between emaciated and nearly emaciated in order to be "just right."

Again, I am all for being health - heart disease is the #1 killer in the US and for the most part, it can be prevented. However, it does a great disservice to our young women when the message they are getting is not about health - it's about being skinny.

 

[FireDancer]

Honugirl: I understand and believe that your disease causes cravings. However, you can still crave something salty or sweet without eating something unhealthy. If you crave something sweet an apple or just about any other piece of fruit is full of natural sugar, it doesn't have to be cupcakes. If you crave somthing salty a pickle is not a bad choice. Making a meal with pickled turnips or a nice cod fillet with some capers can get something salty that is better than overly salted canned soups. I would bet, however, that many people who claim to have medical issues don't. Or, if they have medical issues, they can be corrected better with a lifestyle change than drugs. You very well may not fall in that category and there are people who will need to medicate for life. I just know that it is not always the case. Sometimes it really is just lack of will power and laziness.

No one had any busy "calling" someone on being overweight, it is NONE of their business, anymore than someone following you around and making nasty comments about your height. And btw, you can help that, they have a surgery overseas that makes you taller.

See, I have no problem with being short and don't want to be tall. I am not the one who comes on here and wonders why it is that only tall people can be models and movie stars are supposed to be 6 feet tall just like they are supposed to be thin. I have no issue with not fitting the ideal and don't complain about it on the boards.

I gained a lot of weight with the death of my daughter and the worry of losing my other daughter the first few months of her life. I turned to food for comfort and was not exercising and was very depressed. A couple of years ago I lost forty pounds by exercising and eating healthy and then my daughter was hit with two surgeries including heart surgery and the other emergency. I returned to emotional eating, binging really and gained the forty pounds back. I am back on the bandwagon and trying to make running my bad habit instead of binging. It is a work in progress, but regardless of the reason for my weight gain, no one has the right to make derogatory comments to me, EVER.

Also, will power is a small part of it and it is beyond ignorant for you to be so dismissive of another person's problem. One could say the same thing about alcoholism or drugs or whatever and it would just be ignorant.

I'm sorry about your daughter but eating for comfort is just silly. Food is fuel that is used to keep you alive, not a friend. Emotional eating just makes no sense to me. Food is something that is necessary to sustain life. I would rather something healthy that betters my health than something that tastes better but lowers my health thresh hold. My cousin died 4 months after birth and my uncle turned to running. His doctor told him that it is normal to need an outlet for the sorrow and it is better to chose something beneficial than something dangerous like drinking or smoking. And I do feel the same way about alcohol and drugs, just don't do them. No one is a drug addict before they do their first line of coke or first shot of heroin. If you know you have an addictive personality just don't do it. My dad was a gambling addict so I don't gamble period. That way, I know I can't get addicted to it. I also believe that kicking an addiction is just a matter or will power. If one single solitary human being can quite smoking or drinking or whatever than all of us can, we just have to want to bad enough.

And another thing, it is not as easy to get information, there is a lot of MISinformation in what is healthy and not healthy. Eat carbs, don't eat carbs, eat protein, dont eat protein, stay away from corn syrup, corn syrup is okay, on and on and on. Unless you have walked in another's shoes and know for a fact the issues they face, don't belittle and simplify something you know nothing about.

The world is full of good and bad information. If you go to trusted sources and use a little common sense an adult with a functioning brain will be able to come to the right conclusions. Fat is bad for you, no fat is good for you. The actual answer, in the correct form and correct amount fat is beneficial. It is usually a matter of scale. Having a fillet of salmon is a better way to get proper fat than eating Crisco with a spoon.

 

[S. C.]

I'm sorry about your daughter but eating for comfort is just silly. Food is fuel that is used to keep you alive, not a friend. Emotional eating just makes no sense to me. Food is something that is necessary to sustain life. I would rather something healthy that betters my health than something that tastes better but lowers my health thresh hold. My cousin died 4 months after birth and my uncle turned to running. His doctor told him that it is normal to need an outlet for the sorrow and it is better to chose something beneficial than something dangerous like drinking or smoking. And I do feel the same way about alcohol and drugs, just don't do them. No one is a drug addict before they do their first line of coke or first shot of heroin. If you know you have an addictive personality just don't do it. My dad was a gambling addict so I don't gamble period. That way, I know I can't get addicted to it. I also believe that kicking an addiction is just a matter or will power. If one single solitary human being can quite smoking or drinking or whatever than all of us can, we just have to want to bad enough.

 

[FireDancer]

Oooo, random smiley game. I chose .

 

[wvjules]

Just because a person is oveweight doesn't mean that they don't deserve to have a Twinkie or cake within moderation.

No one deserves a twinkie or cake. It is most likely that that kind of thinking got them in the state they are in anyway. When a goal is met, rewarding it with food is the worst thing one can do, especially someone with weight issues.

I will add that I agree with 99% of what firedancer said.

 

[FireDancer]

No one deserves a twinkie or cake. It is most likely that that kind of thinking got them in the state they are in anyway. When a goal is met, rewarding it with food is the worst thing one can do, especially someone with weight issues.

I will add that I agree with 99% of what firedancer said.

I agree 99%...if I also agreed with that last sentence I would just seem self absorbed.

The bottom line is that it comes down to responsibility. If you can eat a twinkie once in a while fine. If you know that you can't eat just one then be responsible and don't have one. In AA they tell alcoholics that you are always an alcoholic and you should never "just have one". If you are a food addict and can't lay off the sweets than you should go by the same mantra. It isn't that I believe in addiction, it is that ultimately you are in control, not the addiction.

 

[cats7494]

I'm sorry about your daughter but eating for comfort is just silly. Food is fuel that is used to keep you alive, not a friend. Emotional eating just makes no sense to me. Food is something that is necessary to sustain life. I would rather something healthy that betters my health than something that tastes better but lowers my health thresh hold. My cousin died 4 months after birth and my uncle turned to running. His doctor told him that it is normal to need an outlet for the sorrow and it is better to chose something beneficial than something dangerous like drinking or smoking. And I do feel the same way about alcohol and drugs, just don't do them. No one is a drug addict before they do their first line of coke or first shot of heroin. If you know you have an addictive personality just don't do it. My dad was a gambling addict so I don't gamble period. That way, I know I can't get addicted to it. I also believe that kicking an addiction is just a matter or will power. If one single solitary human being can quite smoking or drinking or whatever than all of us can, we just have to want to bad enough.

Your understanding of this issue is not necessary; it affects many people and there is no room for judgment.

 

[TinklednPants]

S.C.:
What was stated there that you take exception to ?

 

[S. C.]

See, I have no problem with being short.

I agree with 99% of what firedancer said.

I agree 99%...if I also agreed with that last sentence I would just seem self absorbed.

The bottom line is that it comes down to responsibility. If you can eat a twinkie once in a while fine. If you know that you can't eat just one then be responsible and don't have one. In AA they tell alcoholics that you are always an alcoholic and you should never "just have one". If you are a food addict and can't lay off the sweets than you should go by the same mantra. It isn't that I believe in addiction, it is that ultimately you are in control, not the addiction.

I'm glad there are such perfect people in the world as you two.

 

[JarethDrakul]

However, I guess my main point was that in these magazines, tv, etc, the discussion of weight is never framed in the context of "health." Instead, it's all about being skinny - not thin, not healthy - skinny.

I agree with you, I remember once when the whole size 0 thing was happening some media outlet's were saying about how fat Pink was...and she is skinny. Another example is Amanda Palmer, her label asked her to remove a part in her music video where you can see her bellybutton because her belly wasn't marketable (something about it being abit to big) but the woman is extremely skinny and they had no problem when in her last video she was lying with her back to the camera completely naked in another video.

 

[locolala]

I think that what we need to teach our kids is that being healthy means eating right, exercising, and maintaining a healthy weight. Being severely underweight can cause just as many problems as being severely overweight. I've battled bulemia for many years now, and even though I'm within the normal limits for my height (5'2 and 130 lbs), I still see myself as being heavy. That's the irrational side of my head though, and because of what I know about medicine and nutrition, I know that I'm a healthy weight. My doctors support me in exercising (within limits) and keeping an eye on my caloric and fat intake. The most important thing with calories is to not take in more than you burn. I eat about 1500-2000 calories a day, depending on my activity levels. I'm one of those people who, when exercising daily (talking cardio and weightlifting daily), cannot keep weight on. I'll drop to dangerously low levels, so I know that if I start working out on that schedule (running 5-7 miles a day, swimming the same, and weightlifting every afternoon) I need to up my calories. Sorry for going on that random tangent, I got off topic. Anyhow, the most important thing to teach kids is that if you're healthy and active, your weight will be manageable and healthy.. if that makes sense

 

[wvjules]

I'm glad there are such perfect people in the world as you two.

Where did I state or imply that I'm perfect.

Rewarding an "eater" with food is the same damned thing as rewarding an alcoholic with a beer.

 

[DWGal210]

I think that what we need to teach our kids is that being healthy means eating right, exercising, and maintaining a healthy weight. Being severely underweight can cause just as many problems as being severely overweight. I've battled bulemia for many years now, and even though I'm within the normal limits for my height (5'2 and 130 lbs), I still see myself as being heavy. That's the irrational side of my head though, and because of what I know about medicine and nutrition, I know that I'm a healthy weight. My doctors support me in exercising (within limits) and keeping an eye on my caloric and fat intake. The most important thing with calories is to not take in more than you burn. I eat about 1500-2000 calories a day, depending on my activity levels. I'm one of those people who, when exercising daily (talking cardio and weightlifting daily), cannot keep weight on. I'll drop to dangerously low levels, so I know that if I start working out on that schedule (running 5-7 miles a day, swimming the same, and weightlifting every afternoon) I need to up my calories. Sorry for going on that random tangent, I got off topic. Anyhow, the most important thing to teach kids is that if you're healthy and active, your weight will be manageable and healthy.. if that makes sense

Thanks for sharing your story, locolala. You make a great point - the emphasis should be on being a healthy person.

 

[S. C.]

Your understanding of this issue is not necessary; it affects many people and there is no room for judgment.

Well said!