Why does it hurt more when children say it?

[PRINCESS VIJA]

My DD runs to me after school and tells me not to be mad at Sara (her friend) they are kindergarteners. I start to think.. Uh Oh, what did the 2 of them do to get in trouble... But she says that Sara called me a "Fat mom". And you know it was meant like I am a "bad mom", or that I am bad because I am fat. Got ta tell ya, it hurts, it hurts really bad. Only made it worse when DS comes up to us and says... you know it happened to me to, you just get over it. WHAT???!!! I know it is painful for me, but how painful it must have been for them as well.

 

[bettyann29]

I think it hurts more when it comes from a child because alot of what comes out of their mouths is pure honesty and true feelings.. They are so innocent and say things that they think, but dont understand how hurtful it can be to others sometimes.. Their love is unconditional and that is the beautiful part of a child to me.. Not like adults who say nice things to your face but are mean behind your back.. children are honest upfront..

 

[KathyTX]

 

[karebear1]

I had that happen to me once- only it wasn't one of my children's friends. It was some kid I walked past in the mall. He was probably 4 and he said to me 'You're fat". His mother just stood there and did nothing. I couldn't believe it. I had a friend who was walking into Target when a car full of teenagers drove past her shouting out the window and calling her 'Shamoo'.
It is hurtful when people say those kinds of things. And I have often thought about my kids and what their friends think/say. But honestly- any child that ever came to my home and knew me, loved me for who I am. They all liked me and I became the neighborhood mom. I think we have the power to influence what people think of us according to what we think of ourselves. You hold your head high. AND teach your children and their friends that the value of a person lies within.

 

[Princess Michelle]

What's really sad to me is that children that young are already so prejudiced against others. It's my own fault that I'm overweight but there are many people out there with physical conditions that prevent them from losing weight. While it would hurt me if someone made a comment about my weight, I can't imagine how much it would hurt someone who really has no control over how much they weigh. I wish adults would be more considerate and respectful of the feelings of other people and in turn teach their children to have the same respect. I'm sorry that you were hurt Vija.

 

[bettyann29]

What's really sad to me is that children that young are already so prejudiced against others. It's my own fault that I'm overweight but there are many people out there with physical conditions that prevent them from losing weight. While it would hurt me if someone made a comment about my weight, I can't imagine how much it would hurt someone who really has no control over how much they weigh. I wish adults would be more considerate and respectful of the feelings of other people and in turn teach their children to have the same respect. I'm sorry that you were hurt Vija.

I wouldnt imagine that this child said this out of disrespect.. If it was an older child that would be different.. I wouldnt even think this is something that this childs parents taught them.. Children this age say things and dont think about what they are saying or understand to what extent what they are saying affects people.. sounds like something this child just said without thinking..

 

[Princess Michelle]

The child might not have understood the full implications of what she said but any time you put someone down it is disrespectful. Children aren't just born with the idea that "fat people are not normal" someone has to teach them that. Somewhere in her life, be it through her parents, other adults or something she has seen or heard around her this little girl has been taught that if you are overweight you are somehow not as good as everyone else and I think that is really sad.

 

[sm4987]

been there. Before I lost all my weight, my DD 4 at the time called me fat. She was like you are just like Pama (that's what she call my mom) My mom wears a size 20, I was only a 14, but the thought slapped me in my face. It hurt like heck. Needless to say, it was also a wake up call for me to get myself into high gear.

 

[wovenwonder]

Sorry Vija!

 

[tiggerlover]

{{{{VIJA}}}}}

I have been there before, Vija and I know how you must be feeling. I think what Bettyann said

I think it hurts more when it comes from a child because alot of what comes out of their mouths is pure honesty and true feelings.

is so true.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Thanks guys, it has been an eye opener for sure.