Why do teenagers have babies?

[look1angel]

"Why do teenagers have babies?"

If I can get 10 people to help me with this, I would way appreciate it. It's for my Sociology class, focused on welfare. We're supposed to ask 10 people for their answers to that question, then summarize the results. I just need a short answer, a sentence or two.

I really appreciate it!!

Uncontrolable, immature hormones! It starts with a kiss, you're all alone, things get heated & before you know it you have a 20 year commitment 9 months later. So...was 5 mins of lust worth it?

Teens don't want to have babies, they just want to play the game that makes them, and of course they all believe it could never happen to them, just ask my nephew!

 

[pixiewings71]

Well I had a baby at 16.....why? Because my hormones were out of control, I didn't know what real love was (not Mom's fault, Dad was emotionally distant and abusive) and our BC method failed. I'm sure part of the failure was due to misuse but bottom line, we did use BC, but I got pg. anyway. So, now I'm 16 and pg, have a choice to make, not much of a choice for me. I'm now the Mom of an almost 22 y.o. who has her own baby girl, not a year old yet. Yup, I'm a 38 y.o. Gma and I'm loving it! Anyway, bottom line for me, we just weren't careful enough.......

 

[DVC Sadie]

I agree with this. When I was in HS over 20 years ago, there was only one girl who had a baby. I knew of girls who got pregnant, but terminated the pregnancies. It was taboo to have a baby. I don't know if more girls are getting pregnant now, or more are keeping the baby.

A lot more are getting pregnant now and are chosing to keep their babies.

It seems as if every year the age of children having babies is getting younger and younger. I remember several years ago when I was surprised at a 15yr old having a baby, now I am not surprised when the girl is 14 years old.

What is simply the worst thing imaginable to me is that both the girls and their babies will more than likely live in poverty for the rest of their lives. They do have a lot of programs out there to help them but I don't see many who avail themselves to higher education to better their circumstances. It is so hard to even get them to pursue a GED.

 

[inkedupmomma]

A lot more are getting pregnant now and are chosing to keep their babies.

It seems as if every year the age of children having babies is getting younger and younger. I remember several years ago when I was surprised at a 15yr old having a baby, now I am not surprised when the girl is 14 years old.

What is simply the worst thing imaginable to me is that both the girls and their babies will more than likely live in poverty for the rest of their lives. They do have a lot of programs out there to help them but I don't see many who avail themselves to higher education to better their circumstances. It is so hard to even get them to pursue a GED.

WHAT? what would make you say that? or pass that kind of judgment?

 

[MrsPete]

WHAT? what would make you say that? or pass that kind of judgment?

Well, judgemental or not, the March of Dimes -- a reputable organization -- agrees. Here's a quote from their website:

What are other consequences of teenage pregnancy?
Life may be difficult for a teenage mother and her child. Teen mothers are more likely to drop out of high school than girls who delay childbearing. Only 40 percent of teenagers who have children before age 18 go on to graduate from high school, compared to 75 percent of teens from similar social and economic backgrounds who do not give birth until ages 20 or 21 (3).

With her education cut short, a teenage mother may lack job skills, making it hard for her to find and keep a job. A teenage mother may become financially dependent on her family or on public assistance. Teen mothers are more likely to live in poverty than women who delay childbearing, and more than 75 percent of all unmarried teen mothers go on welfare within 5 years of the birth of their first child (3).

About 64 percent of children born to an unmarried teenage high-school dropout live in poverty, compared to 7 percent of children born to women over age 20 who are married and high school graduates (3). A child born to a teenage mother is 50 percent more likely to repeat a grade in school and is more likely to perform poorly on standardized tests and drop out before finishing high school (3).

 

[NotUrsula]

I agree with this. When I was in HS over 20 years ago, there was only one girl who had a baby. I knew of girls who got pregnant, but terminated the pregnancies. It was taboo to have a baby. I don't know if more girls are getting pregnant now, or more are keeping the baby.

Meh, depends on where you went to high school 20 years ago.

I can assure you that there were PLENTY of unwed mothers in my class who had babies and kept them; the first one to do so was twelve years old. Her mother was VERY proud when she eventually got her GED at age 19, because by that time she had 4 children. My HS graduating class had 128 people in it, and on graduation day 11 girls walked across that stage pregnant, three of them with their older children watching from the audience. This was in one of the poorest communities in the US, in rural Louisiana, 29 years ago.

What is different now is that middle-class unwed teen mothers keep their babies, instead of giving them up or getting abortions. These days giving up or terminating are seen by teenagers as a "cold" option -- it's considered much more shameful than raising the child. The impoverished kids I went to school with could not afford reliable birth control *or* termination; they were just stuck with the consequences of an impulsive mistake, and most of them didn't waste time on thinking about any kind of alternative fate for themselves. I remember classmates being shocked when I told them that it simply would NOT happen to me -- in their world the quetion wasn't whether it would or would not happen; the question was WHEN it would happen. The poor didn't have a stigma even then.

We had only one middle-class girl get pregnant. Her parents were very religious and felt that the baby was a penance sent by God for her poor choices. She wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but her parents would not permit it. She killed herself when her daughter was 6 months old, and THEN the child was given up for adoption by her parents.

 

[rie'smom]

I got pregnant in high school and kept my baby. Why? Because I didn't think that I could live with myself if I aborted my baby. Today, he's 34 years old and has made me happy every day of his life.

 

[RitaZ.]

Teen pregnancy is what some young girls have witnessed in their own families and community. Maybe some of these young girls believe that becoming a teenage mom is what is expected of them.

 

[MrsPete]

Meh, depends on where you went to high school 20 years ago.

I can assure you that there were PLENTY of unwed mothers in my class

I graduated 25 years ago, and we didn't have a great number of unwed mothers in our class.

In my graduating class, I remember one girl who became pregnant, married her boyfriend, and ended up having twins. And one girl who had an abortion. And one girl who became pregnant late in senior year; I assume she kept the baby, but I don't really know for sure. That's it. Three girls to my certain knowledge.

Of course, there were girls who had pregnancies about which I didn't know . . . perhaps someone who "moved away suddenly" was really pregnant and I didn't know. Certainly someone had an abortion, and I didn't know. But that's the point: It was considered shameful then, and people took great pains to make sure that others didn't know about it.

Speaking only for myself, that's why I didn't have sex in high school. I knew that pregnancy was a possibility (AIDS didn't really exist in our world yet, so I wasn't afraid of that), and pregnancy wasn't a reality that I was willing to face . . . so I took the 100% certain way of avoiding it. Fear of the consequences, fear of the shame. It kept me on the straight and narrow.

 

[MrsPete]

Teen pregnancy is what some young girls have witnessed in their own families and community. Maybe some of these young girls believe that becoming a teenage mom is what is expected of them.

Makes me remember one of my students who looked at a picture of my (then only) daughter on my desk and asked, "Is that the only kid you got? As old as you is?" She was genuinely amazed and probably thought I was infertile.

She had a baby herself the following year, her sophomore year. In her world, it was the average, the standard, the expectation for a girl.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Well, judgemental or not, the March of Dimes -- a reputable organization -- agrees. Here's a quote from their website:

What are other consequences of teenage pregnancy?
Life may be difficult for a teenage mother and her child. Teen mothers are more likely to drop out of high school than girls who delay childbearing. Only 40 percent of teenagers who have children before age 18 go on to graduate from high school, compared to 75 percent of teens from similar social and economic backgrounds who do not give birth until ages 20 or 21 (3).
With her education cut short, a teenage mother may lack job skills, making it hard for her to find and keep a job. A teenage mother may become financially dependent on her family or on public assistance. Teen mothers are more likely to live in poverty than women who delay childbearing, and more than 75 percent of all unmarried teen mothers go on welfare within 5 years of the birth of their first child (3).

This doesn't sound "judgmental" to me at all. It sounds like common sense.

 

[HOGFAN]

I can only tell yout about my niece. She got pregnant in high school by this 'super' guy that LIVED IN HIS CAR. My sister made her get an abortion but Niece was so determined to have this guy in her life that she was pregnant again within six months. They got married after the baby was born(on the dole) and proceeded to have 2 more that they couldnt afford.

what pisses me off is people that make HORRIBLE choices in life then whine and moan about how bad they have it. Wake up!! You picked this!!

 

[teacups]

I can give my personal reason: I was anxious to start a family, because the one I had was so screwed up. FTR: Id advise going to college and making your own life right first, then have a better family. Its hard as a teen... but we all came out in the end OK.

 

[DVC Sadie]

WHAT? what would make you say that? or pass that kind of judgment?

Mrs. Pete answered very eloquently.

I am just stating what I have seen and by no means am I being judgemental on these girls. Its very hard watching them struggle, harder than you know.

 

[NotUrsula]

I graduated 25 years ago, and we didn't have a great number of unwed mothers in our class.

In my graduating class, I remember one girl who became pregnant, married her boyfriend, and ended up having twins. And one girl who had an abortion. And one girl who became pregnant late in senior year; I assume she kept the baby, but I don't really know for sure. That's it. Three girls to my certain knowledge.

Of course, there were girls who had pregnancies about which I didn't know . . . perhaps someone who "moved away suddenly" was really pregnant and I didn't know. Certainly someone had an abortion, and I didn't know. But that's the point: It was considered shameful then, and people took great pains to make sure that others didn't know about it.

Speaking only for myself, that's why I didn't have sex in high school. I knew that pregnancy was a possibility (AIDS didn't really exist in our world yet, so I wasn't afraid of that), and pregnancy wasn't a reality that I was willing to face . . . so I took the 100% certain way of avoiding it. Fear of the consequences, fear of the shame. It kept me on the straight and narrow.

But that is MY point -- not everyone thought it was shameful, even that long ago. In a really poor community like the one I lived in, the poor were NOT ashamed of it, there was no stigma to illegitimacy even then. Most of those girls were third generation unwed teenaged moms and didn't feel any kind of shame at all; there hadn't been a stigma in that community since at least the 1940's.

*I* would certainly have considered my life ruined, but I wasn't one of them. I was a teen in a household that was odd for my community, a child of immigrants, and my mother was hugely concerned with keeping up a facade of being middle class when we just were not anymore. I reacted just the same way as you did.

I remember when that girl got pregnant in 7th grade. The middle-class teachers were appalled when the school newspaper staff wanted to include a birth announcement in the school paper, and the teachers said no. The resulting uproar among the students resulted in a parents' meeting being called. I remember as clear as day sitting there watching a cafeteria full of grandmothers who were in their 30's getting irate at the teachers for suggesting that it was wrong to be happy about the birth of a child to a 12 year old. I think that there may have been ONE adult male in that audience of parents.

 

[MrsPete]

But that is MY point -- not everyone thought it was shameful, even that long ago. In a really poor community like the one I lived in, the poor were NOT ashamed of it, there was no stigma to illegitimacy even then. Most of those girls were third generation unwed teenaged moms and didn't feel any kind of shame at all; there hadn't been a stigma in that community since at least the 1940's.

*I* would certainly have considered my life ruined, but I wasn't one of them. I was a teen in a household that was odd for my community, a child of immigrants, and my mother was hugely concerned with keeping up a facade of being middle class when we just were not anymore. I reacted just the same way as you did.

I remember when that girl got pregnant in 7th grade. The middle-class teachers were appalled when the school newspaper staff wanted to include a birth announcement in the school paper, and the teachers said no. The resulting uproar among the students resulted in a parents' meeting being called. I remember as clear as day sitting there watching a cafeteria full of grandmothers who were in their 30's getting irate at the teachers for suggesting that it was wrong to be happy about the birth of a child to a 12 year old. I think that there may have been ONE adult male in that audience of parents.

Obviously different areas viewed /view teen pregnancy differently. We weren't that far apart in age, but our communities viewed the situation quite differently.

I also lived in a very poor community, BUT it was a poor farming community. No one had cash money -- ever -- but everyone had land and a house (even if it was just a two bedroom house that your grandfather'd built, and your father'd improved by adding indoor plumbing). We didn't know the term "homeless". If you were down on your luck, family took you in; there was no choice in the matter. Few, few people were on welfare. Almost everyone had a father. No one was hungry, but no one ever went out to eat. Shopping in town consisted of a small grocery store, a drug store, a fabric store, a mechanic/tire shop, and a few other places. Everyone went to church on Sundays; if you didn't have a car, the church bus'd pick you up.

We -- the community, that is -- could've been described as poor but upstanding. My feelings about "not going to happen to me -- I know how to prevent it with 100% certainty" were not unique. It was what was expected in our lower-middle class community. Those who did end up pregnant took pains to hide it, even from friends.

 

[HOGFAN]

count me in as old fashioned too. My parents(of 4 girls) told us that if we slept with a guy to make sure we loved him because if pregnancy happened, we WOULD get married.


have as many as you want, just dont expect me to support them!

 

[quentina]

Well, I have a friend whose daughter has 4 kids by 4 different men (2 of which are now in jail). I just asked her...she replied that she believed that these guys would stay by her forever (because she forced them into it by having their baby).

She has low self esteem, is a poor mother and keeps having babies because she is looking for a "forever" person.

 

[Shmily1]

My DD18 had a 3 month old DS. He is wonderful! It wasn't what I wanted for her, what she wanted for herself, or what she had seen from her family (I was married when I had both her and DS19). The bc they gave her had her sick and she was 85 lbs. She had an appt to get differentt ones and had to come off of those until she got new ones. It just happened. It wasn't planned, but now that he is here, we wouldn't trade him at all. She was a senior in high school, went to homecoming, the prom, jr/sr weekend, and graduated 8 months pregnant. She had DGS the next month and started college 4 weeks later. She will be a teacher in less than 4 years from now. Do I wish it was different for her? Yes. Would I want her to go back and do differently about DGS? Nope. He's too precious!! Will I be there for her all the way? Yep! There's no need to be mad but there is need to help her do the best she can to raise him to be the best he can be.

 

[ReneeA]

My mom and dad got married the weekend after she turned 16 (he was 18) because it wasn't legal to be married in MI under 16. She was already pregnant with me. They had 3 babies in 3 years, so she was 19 with 3 babies. You know what was funny? She graduated at the top of her class in 1974 and gave the valedictorian speech with me in the audience and very pregnant with my sister.

They did really well for themselves and didn't spend a day on any sort of welfare or aid. I know that's not the norm, but it does occasionally happen.

I will say though, that in my very rural northern MI town, it's not unusual to have 20% or more of a graduating class of high school have babies of their own already. Right or wrong, it's been that way a long, long, long time. Maybe it's cultural. I was the first person in 5 generations of my family to wait until my 20's to have my first baby. The nice thing? My kids still have a great-great grandmother and all of their great grandparents.