Why do single women go after married men????

princesspiglet

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Joined
Jul 12, 2001
Messages
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My wonderful DH told me last night that there is a fellow SSG that works with him (in another department) that has been flirting excessively with him and sending him suggestive emails. At first I was pissed, but then he showed me an email that he sent back to her:
SSG M****. I don't appreciate the emails you have been sending me and the flirtatious manner at which you conduct our working relationship. I am a very happily married man with an amazing wife and a beautiful daughter and I would never even contemplate hurting either one of them. So I would appreciate if you would try to keep our relationship strictly business and nothing more."

I thought the email was great but he tells me she still trys to flirt with him and has even asked him to go out for drinks after work!!:mad:

I told him he needs to go to his superior and let him know what is going on, but he is a nice guy and says he doesn't want to jeaopardize her career because she is a good soldier. He is hoping it will just blow over.

I, however, am about ready to get into my car and give this woman a piece of my mind.:furious:

Why do women do this??? Aren't there any other decent single men out there. Why would someone purposely try to ruin a marriage and a family?????

Just had to vent.
 
I had an aquaintence (not a friend) that would specifically target men wearing wedding rings when she was out. It was a game to her, to see if she could make them cheat.

She was pathetic, and everyone could see that despite her "I'm so fine, I can make any man cheat" attitude, she had absolutely no self-esteem.
 
I think that single women go after military men for the benefits. I see it here(not the DIS here lol) all the time. They know that if they can get him in the sack and then magically produce a baby, there will always be some pretty steady cash and benefits flowing this way. Around here the barracks bunnies think they are so hot they can get anything in boots or they think that all military marriages are unhappy.

ETA: the SSG in question needs to keep ALL emails between him and this female because if she pulls the sex card on him to his chain of command if she gets upset about her being rebuffed. He will need backup protection.
 
I had an aquaintence (not a friend) that would specifically target men wearing wedding rings when she was out. It was a game to her, to see if she could make them cheat.

She was pathetic, and everyone could see that despite her "I'm so fine, I can make any man cheat" attitude, she was absolutely no self-esteem.

My ex best friend used to do this as well. I could never understand it but with her it was a self esteem issue. After several married men she finally targeted mine, and got him. Seven years later they are getting married. Who knew??? :rolleyes:
 

My DH had this happen not too long ago to him. He does an excellent job of fixing people's computers after hours (side business of sorts) and he was referred to this girl from a friend of his. He went over once and fixed something and then she got a new printer or wireless connection or something and wanted his help again. After that he kept getting calls and texts from her. The sad thing was my DH was halfway oblivious until she called or texted (can't recall which) at 10:30 on a weeknight claiming to need him. I told him that had HUGE red flags to me. I didn't like it at all. He agreed 100% and talked to her the next evening in front of me (he gets tongue tied and wanted my support)

In the end she said she didn't care that he was married and just thought he was hot so she wanted him. She felt she was perfectly fine in trying to get him to cheat :confused3 He told her to never contact him again. He may have lost future customers because of her, but she was almost scary with how she kept hounding him towards the end.

I think women who intentionally go after married men seriously have to have problems in their lives of some sort to do that.
 
Probably the challenge....

From what you describe, this amounts to sexual harassment and should be reported, whether she is a good soldier or not. These are unwanted advances and he has taken the first step which is to tell her these are unwanted, but if she persists, he needs to get someone else involved if only to cover his butt.
 
Wow you really have to give your DH credit for not being a cliche like alot of guys would have been.

Honestly, I've been married for 25 years and have no reason to believe my DH has ever cheated, but I have seen him act like a real fool when a woman flirts with him - he always loves to tell me about it :rolleyes: and it's always so entertaining...:lmao: . Not.

Anyway, to answer you question, women that have no respect for other women when it comes to things like this are the lowest forms of life. The guys are not much better, but their egos are so weird.

But when a woman cheats with another woman's husband, that's just about the lowest thing I can think of.
 
/
There's a new guy in my department, and while he's not married, he is living with his girlfriend--so it's pretty serious. He gets flirted with by a couple of my female co-workers, both of whom are married. I don't understand it. He doesn't seem particularly interested, either, but he seems too nice to tell them to shove off. Another of my co-workers is a man who is married, and his wife works on our floor. One of the ladies flirting with the new guy is always flirting with this married one, giving him neck rubs and all that. I'd break her fingers!
 
I happened to DH with a co-worker. She continued to pursue even after he told her No Thanks, but stopped when some of his friends at work told her to leave him alone.

I don't think the OPs hubby should handle this alone. It's obvious she won't take no as an answer. He needs to tell her to back off in front of other people he works with.

Good luck.
 
ETA: the SSG in question needs to keep ALL emails between him and this female because if she pulls the sex card on him to his chain of command if she gets upset about her being rebuffed. He will need backup protection.

He is keeping the email he sent her and any replys he will receive. He also has all the sexual emails she has sent him over the past few weeks.

This is just crazy to me. When I was single I never even fathomed going after a married man. There are lots of single men out there! join e-harmony for pete's sake!
 
Brooklyn Tiff wants to tell you to go up to that job and open up a can of Whoop you-know-what on that home wreaking you know what!

But the refined, more mature Tiff agrees that your husband should report her to the powers that be, it's sexual harrassment and the company will not play around with that for fear of a lawsuit. They will starighten her out, quick, fast, in a hurry!

You got a good man though! A lot of men would bite!
 
I thought the email was great but he tells me she still trys to flirt with him and has even asked him to go out for drinks after work!!:mad:

I told him he needs to go to his superior and let him know what is going on, but he is a nice guy and says he doesn't want to jeaopardize her career because she is a good soldier. He is hoping it will just blow over.

If she's still flirting with him, he should go to his supervisor and let them know that if this doesn't stop, he will have no other choice but to file a sexual harrassment claim against her.

I think the reason why some women go after married men is because it's a game for them. There are also some women who prefer married men because they don't want to be tied down with him. They spend some time together and he goes home.

I would never date a married man because I truly believe what comes around goes around. There was a guy I met a few years ago that I thought was cute. He asked me out but I had to say no because he was still married. Although they was separated, he's still married. I don't know how these women do it. It's not just the women, there are men out there that look for married women.
 
My wonderful DH told me last night that there is a fellow SSG that works with him (in another department) that has been flirting excessively with him and sending him suggestive emails. At first I was pissed, but then he showed me an email that he sent back to her:
SSG M****. I don't appreciate the emails you have been sending me and the flirtatious manner at which you conduct our working relationship. I am a very happily married man with an amazing wife and a beautiful daughter and I would never even contemplate hurting either one of them. So I would appreciate if you would try to keep our relationship strictly business and nothing more."

I thought the email was great but he tells me she still trys to flirt with him and has even asked him to go out for drinks after work!!:mad:

I told him he needs to go to his superior and let him know what is going on, but he is a nice guy and says he doesn't want to jeaopardize her career because she is a good soldier. He is hoping it will just blow over.

I, however, am about ready to get into my car and give this woman a piece of my mind.:furious:

Why do women do this??? Aren't there any other decent single men out there. Why would someone purposely try to ruin a marriage and a family?????

Just had to vent.

Sorry i think your husband NEEDS to talk to his superiors about her, worst case he keeps saying no and she claims that he is harrasing her, she could try and get him into a lot of trouble after all hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
 
I am glad he is keeping all the e-mails he sent. If he gets any other type of come on after this one, he is in his right to report her as a harassment case. I hope she stops before it comes to that for the both of their cases (him only for the hassle of it all... her for obvious reasons).
 
My ex was always targeted by these kind of women, and it turns out he eventually did get led away. It went on a long time while I looked the other way. I stayed faithful, but eventually I had enough and filed for divorce.

I have several theories about this, not really specific to military men.

1) the challenge of "forbidden fruit"
2) envy of the life he has with his wife and fantasizing about stepping in
3) the excitement of doing something illicit
4) there really aren't that many eligible men out there (at least there weren't when I was looking!) As they say, the good ones are all married, gay, or in a relationship already.

I'm glad for you that your hubby has his priorities straight. He sounds like a real prince. :)
 
I don't get it either even if they do end up marrying them, its going to come back and bite them in the bum. As someone once said if you marry your mistress you create a job vacancy!
 
My dad had this happen at work a couple years ago. It was crazy. We both worked there (he was retired, I was a college student) so that made it somewhat stranger. My mom has dementia, so I guess she thought that would make dad want to stray?

It started somewhat innocently. She and another one of our coworkers changed after work into *nice* clothes. They were going to a concert and dinner. He told them they looked nice (as did everyone else) and the one apparently took that to imply he was interested. She wrote him letters inviting him to her house, etc. Dad showed everything to our supervisors and he avoided working with her, although she frequently showed up on his shifts (and avoided my shifts). It's a seasonal job, and she wasn't brought back the next season. thank goodness. I did see her once after, but she ignored me.
 
I am not really worried about him being led away. We have a wonderful marriage and he is a prince. :goodvibes

What bugs me the most is the total lack of respect this women has for me and my DD. I met her once a year or so ago and she seemed like the nicest woman.

DH has agreed that if she continues her "quest" he will report her to his commander (with his back-up of course!)
 
It's been a looong time since I was in the military. In my day that would be grounds for an article 15, after a warning.

If I,m not mistaken, after a period of time the article 15 goes away. It doesn't follow you to your next duty station.

I would say to your friend, report her.
 
UGH!! I'm soooo sorry you are going through this! I deal with the same stuff everywhere DH and I go. We're both military...not that that really makes a difference, lol. Single women are always hitting on him, sending him flirtatious emails, etc. It bugs me soooooo much. Especially when I meet them and they're all nice and sweet to my face. Whatever. Some women are just as big of pigs as some men are.

Make Sure he goes to his supervisor if she does continue this after he wrote her. It would be horrible if, instead of it dying down, she got upset at him for some reason or another and tried to turn it around. True, he has all the proof in writing, but who knows what sort of crap she could make up. Your hubby is very smart to save all of the emails!!
 

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