Why do single women go after married men????

[Mickeyistheman]

flrose,

You are so right and after that all happened, I was so untrusting of men and I probably lost a few good men because I was so afraid and didn't trust anyman!

Now its even worse and yes there are alot of "couples" online that want to add a little spice to their married life. Sorry I am not interested.

I just wish I could find a nice, honest, caring man who loves Disney just as much as I do.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

To Am I There Yet,

When I first started dating him, he had his own apartment. He also had told me that he was adopted (LIE!) and he stopped speaking to his parents (adopted) because he was mad at them for not telling him when he was younger etc. etc.

So Never got to meet his parents, I did meet his friends on several occasions and there was only 1 Christmas that we were not together, because he had just gotten married.

He was engaged when we first met and started dating. Which again I never knew. His wife got pregnant which is how I finally found out about this whole deal. I felt humiliated and thought I was a horrible person, but man this guy had me going. We went away several times a year and he came to all family functions.

I never had the heart to contact his wife to apologize and tell her what a jerk her husband was. Mainly because she was pregnant and I felt this would truly upset her as it should.

I stopped dating for about 2 years because he made me feel so bad, but HE LIED TO ME!!! He kept this apartment and everything. He was leading a double life and it would not surprise me that more men aren't doing this still today. How very sad.

What a loser. To you, and to his wife. Did is wife find out?

ETA: I just reread this, and it sounded like I was calling you and his wife a loser! I meant him! Just wanted to clarify that!

 

[dementia412]

A family member was involed with a married guy. Not sure how it happened because she was never that kind of person. When she had to move she saw him one last time, and he asked if she was pregnant. She lied and told him no because she didn't want to ruin his marriage (he had two little kids). A few years later he got divorced anyway. I always thought it was weird that she thought his marriage was okay when he was having an affair, but letting him know he had a kid would "ruin" it.

btw, guys in uniform are soooo hot ... ever hear that song, "When You're in Love With a Beautiful Woman" .. about how hard it is because everyone else wants her... must be hard having a hot fireman or soldier ... don't think the postman uniform has the same effect though

 

[horseshowmom]

maybe you husband is sending out some sort of signals he is unware of? I am sure not on propose, but what he may thinks is moving her on her way...maybe she likes a challange or is taking things the wrong way(we never know what people are thinking)

I've got a husband who is one of the nicest guys in the world (really and truly). He's always been very involved in our daughter's activities and considers me his best friend (regularly tells me how lucky he thinks he is to have me),

BUT

he is one of those guys that women just love. DD and I will cut our eyes at each other as we smile nicely to the admiring remarks all these women make about DH (he's so sweet, he's just wonderful, you're so lucky to have him, we couldn't get by without him {church and school}, we just adore him, etc., etc., etc.).

He'll tell you in a heartbeat that he's the man he is because he married me, but these women sure think I got "lucky" when I married him! He says "if they only knew"...

He does NOT send out signals, he's just a really nice guy, and I have no doubt that there are women who would like to take him off my hands (DD and I joke that if I die first, the funeral will be packed with women - wanting to take my place ). OP, it sounds like you may have the same situation!

 

[mirthmaiden]

He kept this apartment and everything. He was leading a double life and it would not surprise me that more men aren't doing this still today.

How awful for you to go through that. I'm just amazed that he was able to do all that and his wife never knew. I mean, how can you hide that kind of money going out, unless you're doing something on the side to get the money in the first place? What a loser.

 

[BMNABrinx]

My parents divorced last year after being married for 36 years thanks to a newly divorced single woman. She was actually supposed to be a friend of theirs, so much so that my parents loaned her the money to pay for her divorce.

When DH & I were first married we lived on an AFB in TX. There was a hospital volunteer that kept flirting with him and actually slapped him on the butt. Well, I had pregnancy hormones raging and decided I would make an appearance at the office the next day unannounced. Lucky for her DH had already spoken to his OIC and she was given a different volunteer assignment. I was ready to tear her apart just for entertaining the idea of coming between us!

You obviously have a great husband and your little girl is very lucky to have you both. Good luck with the situation and thank you for the sacrifices you make as a military family.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

My married 35 year old boss tried to have "text sex" with me through cell phones the other night. He's at home on paternity leave because his wife just had a baby two weeks ago. I was so in shock and couldn't even believe it. I told him that it wasn't right but he couldn't see anything wrong with it (he goes to church religiously and told me that God says that if you even think of a woman in a lustful way that it is considered adultery so "you might as well go through with it if you're already doing it in your head"). Yeah, he's a winner. He's been back to work a couple of days and it has been so uncomfortable. I've kept all of the text messages because when I go to the big boss with all of this I don't want him turning it all around on me. I'm sure he'll be telling his wife that I was the one trying to mess with him. But I have the proof. There's tons of rats out there. Male and female.

 

[JimFitz]

Married man here. I have been tempted many times and have been in situations where it was close to happening but I would think about my wife, kids, and the heartache I would cause. I would come to my senses and actually have told my wife about these near misses. These near misses are not going to a motel or anything, more just heavy flirtation and noticing it's going in a bad direction.

For men it's different. Men look at women and want "you know what". I have been in situations where I have caught mysel, changed the conversation or moved in a different direction. I know I could never cheat because the guilt and pain would kill me. However, I still love to look!!!

My wife means too much to me and she is a fantastic person. Our emotional relationship is fantastic and the sex is amazing too!

I just don't think that a 1/2 hour of sex is really worth it. Oh, who the heck am I kidding, the 30 seconds is not worth it.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

Oh, who the heck and I kidding, the 30 seconds is not worth it.

 

[Hixski]

I have been married to DH for 21 years. I can't tell you how many times I have had women tell me if I ever want to get rid of DH to let them know. I know some are just kidding but some I wouldn't trust. Just because DH does this does not mean you can have him. Who would give up a man who does laundry??????

 

[grinningghost]

My DH had a single woman going after him - I think she figured he was a perfect catch for her and her young son.

The whole mess resulted in an emotional affair between them which was horribly painful for me and nearly wrecked our marriage - but in the end, it backfired for her - he doesn't even speak to her anymore as far as I know. He even refers to her with a most unflattering nickname. I refuse to have her real name spoken in my presence.

 

[LoraJ]

Very true. When I was single, I didn't want "used goods".

I don't like to share, so that's why I wouldn't even look at a married man.

 

[Blondiex46]

they do it for various reasons, the challenge cause they know it won't go anywhere. They need to remember what goes around comes around, guess they are forgetting that. And you know not for nothing else, but the men are not totally not at fault in this. There are alot of men who truly love their wives and are devoted to their families and then there are some who really not interested in being married at all and cheat all the time. There are some women and men who are gay and pretened they aren't...

 

[dreamcometrue]

Well you know that they are hot in their uniform though

I'm actually alot nicer than my husband by calling these chicks barracks bunnies because in the barracks they are called barracks rats. That's by the guys the chicks visit too. Isn't that nice.

well, that is still a lot nicer than what they called them in Germany. My DH was stationed there in the Army and they would call them "barrack hos" (not sure if that's going to get censored or not). I sometimes drove on post on a Saturday or Sunday morning to do my shopping, and I would see them walk out of the barracks, looking like...well...you know... All the guys made fun of them!

 

[Feralpeg]

Why do married men hit on single women? I had it happen to me many times and it wasn't because I wanted their attention.

I worked in an office with many men. I was not interested in any of them. I did not flirt with them. Even so, I had many of them make suggestive comments, ask me out, etc. One of the VPs for the company actually called me at home on a Sunday morning to ask me out for breakfast. I asked him why he wasn't having breakfast with his wife. Needless to say, I told him no. That Monday, he called me to his office and back peddled real fast. He knew he was in trouble. Now, before you all ask why I didn't raise the roof over this, this was many years ago. Things were different in the business world then. I was in my 20s and really did not want to get fired.

Sorry, but it isn't always the woman's fault. OP, I am sorry that this has happened to your husband. It shouldn't happen to anyone. The title of your thread really makes it seem like it is a very one sided thing.

 

[aprilgail2]

We have a single woman at work that goes for the married guys all the time, it drives me nuts, right now she is with the boss who is married with 4 kids. It is not unusual, at work there are more guys cheating with women at work than I can count, and the ones that are not with women at work are on the cell phones with women from outside work who are not their wives, it is sickening-it really jades you when you see what many of these guys do on a daily basis!! Then I will see them at after work parties etc with their wives and they make it look like a happy little couple when they really are sleeping with anyone and everyone that will slep with them.

 

[poohandwendy]

i think some people just have no moral code, really.

We can talk about self esteem issues and such, I am sure that plays a part in it. But I really think it boils down to having little regard for anyone else.

I always think it is especially slimy when I hear of a woman who has an affair with a man who is married to one of her friends. It takes a special kind of low to do something like that.

 

[princesspiglet]

I've got a husband who is one of the nicest guys in the world (really and truly). He's always been very involved in our daughter's activities and considers me his best friend (regularly tells me how lucky he thinks he is to have me),

BUT

he is one of those guys that women just love. DD and I will cut our eyes at each other as we smile nicely to the admiring remarks all these women make about DH (he's so sweet, he's just wonderful, you're so lucky to have him, we couldn't get by without him {church and school}, we just adore him, etc., etc., etc.).

He'll tell you in a heartbeat that he's the man he is because he married me, but these women sure think I got "lucky" when I married him! He says "if they only knew"...

He does NOT send out signals, he's just a really nice guy, and I have no doubt that there are women who would like to take him off my hands (DD and I joke that if I die first, the funeral will be packed with women - wanting to take my place ). OP, it sounds like you may have the same situation!

Horseshowmom-did you steal and clone my DH???? Seriously, my DH is the exact same way. However, he was a diamond in the rough when I met him at 20. He had alot of wonderful qualities then and I just brought the other ones to the forefront! He'll tell anyone he meets that he would be a bum without me.

I guess women see him and think that he is so wonderful and would love to have him, but I sure ain't giving up 13 years of hard work without a fight!

And I do understand that it goes both ways. I have known lots of married men that go after single women, however, when I wrote the OP, I was venting at this particular single woman and didn't know how else to word it.

DH hasn't heard back from her since he sent the email on Monday. He is hoping she has gotten the point. However, he is going to go to the Capt. just to inform him of the situation in case another one arises.