Why do I get so annoyed...

[Keggy]

It is so annoying - I agree! I have been married 7 years and we do not have kids. I get it all the time. People are just rude. What are you waiting for? All the time. I had a good friend say something to me again yesterday. I am about to not consider her a good friend anymore!!!

Hang in there.

 

[ArelysAdriana]

Oh OP, I feel your pain. I get asked that question all the time from everyone. It started getting bad when we moved in together 2 years ago & it hasn't stopped since. It is especially bad with my family & the people I work with. My family loves to ask when we are planning on not "living in sin" anymore.

The best "hint" I got was when I was unpacking some boxes of mine that my parents brought to me and in one of them I found a wedding planning book.

My favorite response is to tell my parents that I'll get married whenever they can afford a lavish Disney wedding. Shuts them right up.

BTW, my boyfriend was born & raised in CT

 

[mikehn]

I doubt people really care. I think they ask just to make small talk.

 

[KandD]

I doubt people really care. I think they ask just to make small talk.

Can't they just talk about the weather then? Why do they have to be so personal?

 

[donnajon]

I agree with the posters who say it never ends!!

If you are dating it's "when will you get married?"

If you get married, it's "when will you have kids?"

If you have a child it's, "when will have another child?"

And when you get pregnant with your third kid, they want to know was it an accident! I couldn't believe how many times I got that question! I finally started telling people that was a rude question.
I saw a comedian once who made a joke about this. He said when you're dating they want to know when your're getting married, then when you're gonna have a baby and finally when are you going to die!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I doubt people really care. I think they ask just to make small talk.

I'm more inclined to believe this. Especially if it's an aquaintance or someone who doesn't know you very well. The correct (or polite) answer in those situations is "I don't know" or "When we're ready". If the questioner continues on that tack, continue with the "I don't know" or "When we're ready" until it becomes painfully obvious to everyone that they're being nosy and that this isn't a subject you feel like exploring with them.

Of course, if you're feeling curt you could always say, "That's my business and I'm tending to it." But be aware that this answer drifts the conversation out of the small talk area and you will appear as though the question bothers you because you're wondering the same thing yourself.

I dated DH for several years before we finally settled down. Whenever family members or friends I cared about would ask when we were going to marry, I brought up Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and spoke of how wonderful their relationship was. IOW, my answer to their question about when we were getting married was, "Probably never. I don't know. When we feel like it. What's for dinner?"

 

[starrzone]

when people ask me when my boyfriend and I are getting married? It didn't used to bother me but now it seems like ALL THE TIME people are inquiring about when he is going to propose. First of all, how the heck do I know? Second of all, whether or not we have discussed marriage is really not anyone's business.

I know I am being touchy so I usually just put a smile on my face and say I don't know but it is really starting to bug me. Ugg...ok this started off as a question but I think it was more of a vent. So thanks for listening and any advice on what to say to these questions would be appreciated.

First of all, ! You didn't mention how old you are (and it really doesn't matter in the long run!), but I wanted to share my story. There are 11 cousins on my father's side, ranging from 17-40; 6 are girls and 5 are guys. I am the second-youngest girl, and I'm 27! The 4 girls ahead of me have been married for some time, and all have at least 2 kids. I have been fielding questions for years about whether or not I have a boyfriend, and I never had a serious one until this year. I'm just waiting for the "when are you going to get married" speeches, and we've only been seeing each other for 7 months! I can't wait to tell everyone that not only am I in NO rush to get married to my SO (he's separated, with 2 young kids), but that I decided long, LONG ago that I don't want a wedding. That's right, NO wedding. This is for various reasons, the biggest one being that my family is large, and I can see the guest list expanding exponentially until we could have paid a substantial down payment on a house with the money it would cost to host all of them.

I think that people have a "script" for how life is supposed to go...date, finish high school, date, go to college, date, finish college, marry college sweetheart, have fabulous wedding with every Cousin Jimbo and Aunt Martha you can dig up, get first job, have a kid even though you can't afford it, and so on...and if you deviate from "the script". there's something wrong with you. Don't fret...you sound like a smart person who knows what she wants!

 

[eliza61]

When you get married, the question will turn into when are you having kids. Nosy people are nosy no matter what. Think up a snarky response.

Boy, do you have that right. When my dh and I first got married we decided we wanted to wait until we had kids. We wanted to travel and enjoy each other first. The first 6 years we travelled across Europe and the Caribbean. We absolutely LOVED IT!! After year 2 both our families kept bugging us about when are you guys going to have kids. We had a standard answer...

"Why? so we can be as broke and miserable as you guys? ) Of course we were in our 20's so that was pretty much how we felt (until we had kids) but it can be annoying.
Every once in a while I would tell my mom we weren't going to "procreate". then I would sit back and try to give me an exorcism for saying it.

 

[iggbees]

i feel your pain! i've been with my boyfriend for 5.5 years now, we've lived together for 4, and i get asked that question all the time from family and friends. plus it doesn't help that all of my friends are either married or engaged or have babies now. i'm actually SICK of looking at facebook and seeing another person get engaged or married. i like to think that my boyfriend and i have a stronger relationship than those people and i've realized that getting married doesn't help us proclaim how much we love each other and how good our relationship is.

that being said, i do want to get married and i always thought my boyfriend would just out of the blue ask me before we got to 5.5 years, but that didn't happen. oh well, i know it will someday. i just don't need the constant reminder that we aren't married yet.