Why can't parents just admit it? - All kids aren't academically gifted!!!

[TruBlu]

Funny story -
My kid had a lot of trouble learning to read last year. The school wasn't teaching phonics, and that is what he needed. Anyway, I was complaining to another (very snooty) mother about it one day. I had heard from a friend that her kid was having trouble too, so I brought up the subject and told her that we were going to have tutoring over the summer. Well, she looked at me like my kid was a moron and said "We don't have that problem, (son's name) is GIFTED in reading"!!! Anyway.... last week guess who walked in for tutoring while we were there for DS's class??? The "gifted" kid! I guess he was teaching the class!

 

[Cantw8]

Funny story -
My kid had a lot of trouble learning to read last year. The school wasn't teaching phonics, and that is what he needed. Anyway, I was complaining to another (very snooty) mother about it one day. I had heard from a friend that her kid was having trouble too, so I brought up the subject and told her that we were going to have tutoring over the summer. Well, she looked at me like my kid was a moron and said "We don't have that problem, (son's name) is GIFTED in reading"!!! Anyway.... last week guess who walked in for tutoring while we were there for DS's class??? The "gifted" kid! I guess he was teaching the class!

I have no problem admitting it and I have the report cards to prove it

 

[TruBlu]

I have no problem admitting it and I have the report cards to prove it

Me too! And the bill from Sylvan Learning Center!

 

[JESW]

Mom here of two perfect NORMAL kids!

Ds11 is in an hour of math tutoring 2x a week this summer due to the fact that he never quite got the times tables back when he was 9. He also needs help with the new math program. Ds is also an apsergers kid so getting him help in the begining makes a big difference.

Dd7 has done some work in her summer workbooks but I am not pushing it. She does ok in school right now but she doesn't excel, she isn't "gifted" (what an over-used term!) but she is happy so I am happy.

Over the years a couple things I have noticed about the DIS is that there are so many gifted children and so very few of them ever seem to act up at Disney!

Jill

 

[ZuZugal]

Someone I knew many years ago started her daughter EARLY in kindergarten because mommy said she was "gifted". The girl turned 4 in May, so that August her mom enrolled her in a private school because the public schools will not take children before they are 5 (for many good reasons.)

She was then transferred to another school, by the parent's choice, and is now going in to the 7th grade as an just-turned 11 year old. She is also in counseling now for a multitude of reasons. Mom sure set her up for that one, ya think?

 

[Ava83]

I have a DD4 and she is VERY GIFTED! Gifted in running around and playing with dolls and whatnot. I hope she lands the career of her dreams with those two talents!

I hate that competition thing that comes out in some parents. I refuse to get invovled.

 

[TruBlu]

I hate that competition thing that comes out in some parents. I refuse to get invovled.

Me too - because I KNOW my kid would win...

 

[slo]

My DD went to summer school this year because she was having a hard time with her reading. I'm not embarrassed about it, because I don't want her to be embarrassed about it.

Even though she wasn't at the top of her class for reading, she always was the first person to want to help the teacher or a friend. Her kindness towards others is something I am very proud of.

 

[Squidrific]

My dd10 is just normal, average, and extremely happy. As long as she tries her best - that is all I ask.

Now my 4-legged kids on the other hand are extremely gifted!

 

[Ava83]

Me too - because I KNOW my kid would win...

Very true I bet! Its my parenting that has doomed my child for life..Instead of a college fund we have started a therapy fund for the poor girl.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

The funny thing is that I would consider my oldest smart, but not gifted. Same with my second child, even though he's very different (struggles in school, but is so imaginative I think his talent is in other areas). But the school has labeled both of these kids as g/t (well, one is in college now). I just honestly don't see it with them. However, their 12yo brother is not labeled g/t, but is a much better student, higher grades, taking more advanced classes (so far, he's only going into 8th grade). But he's not g/t? Then I have a 6yo, but who knows with him. So I agree, not all kids are gifted, but it's not always the ones the school thinks are gifted. And I won't share this with my kids!

 

[TammyAlphabet]

Well my DS can't spell and my DD is struggling with subtraction. We all can't be great at everything!

 

[Cpt.JackSpearow]

Uh.. ill just post..

Im 11 and Ive been in gifted since 2nd grade all the way to 5th, Im not sure about middle school now though..

Btw, once we grow up, usually our grades drop more.. wonder why..

 

[KimR]

Personally, I think being 'gifted' is highly overrated anyway. Not that I'm saying innate intelligence is detrimental (not at all), but it seems so many of the successful people I know didn't so well academically. I believe drive, ambition, interpersonal skills, and generally being a well-rounded person seem to be more of a determinant to success than giftedness.

 

[MinnieGirl33]

I think people need to remember that all children are "gifted" in some way. Of course we all know that THEIR child is the best, most everything but...

Some give the best hugs. Some make up the best stories. Some are the best at acting those stories out. Some can run THIS FAST. Some are the best helpers.

And some are just the best gift we ever received.

Academics are important no doubt. But they are not everything. Kindness, generosity, an appreciation of culture, sportsmanship & fairplay, charity & a sense of right & wrong are of equal value in my book.

By the way, DS12 is already looking at Harvard & Princeton & DS8 wants to join the army so go figure.

 

[Poohnatic]

My older son-yes, gifted academically, but socially/emotionally needs help. Most people don't see the smart kid through the temper tantrums. I end up thinking of his challenges more-definitely not gifted.

Younger son-not gifted academically, but boy, he's got a way of making people crack up. I was scratching my head at his honor roll last year-I didn't think his reading abilities measured up to that.

Suzanne

 

[MareQ]

Probably will get some flames for this but along these lines- I cringe every time I see all those lists printed in our local paper - alll the kids that made the Honor Roll or High Honor Roll. These are not celebrations of children that worked their hardest - they are celebrations of children that worked their hardest and achieved near perfection... FANTASTIC for them - but what about all the kids that worked 10 times harder only to get half as far?? My child because of his learning disabilities will never make it on the honor roll but he works even harder than most other kids. He gets all the help we can give to him, he stays for the afterschool program for tutoring, goes to the summer school session every year - we sit every night and work on therapy work, homework - he tries his absolute best each and every day - but since we don't reward hard work by itself his name will never be on a list...

 

[momrek06]

It was OCTOBER, my DS was in first grade and they had Open House...the teacher says to me..."your son has alot of reading problems and I do not ever see him being more than a C student"....DH & I were floored. He was one year OLDER (bday 12/30) than all his classmates to begin with and K (at the same school and ALL day) he did beautifully...we were just floored...I needed to prove this teacher WRONG!!! After-all, what can she possibly know it is OCT...DS had been in her room all of 30 days..!!

The next day I did some research and found a local elementary teacher that does tutoring (reading) in her home. I called her up, got an appt., DS started right away..this was in 1990..it was $15.00 for a one hour private session...(can you imagine)! DS went 2x a week after school (between soccer, little league, boy scouts, swimming etc) we fit it in. That was the BEST $15.00 I spent EVER. DS continued to go every year UNTIL 6th grade. It was a dream come true because as he advanced with the Tutor they also did Math as well as Spelling. It was FABULOUS. DS loved her. She was a widow. She only had a puppy. They made a big bowl of popcorn and together they got started on their hour.

Bottomline: Starting with 4th grade..my DS was on the Honor Roll every semester right through 8th grade graduation...on to a private Catholic High School becoming a member of the National Honor Society in the 10th grade and graduating with full honors attending a private Catholic college here in the Northeast and this summer is attending "The American School of Classical Studies of Athens" in Greece and will spend the Fall semester studying Art History/Political Science at the University of Glasgow in Scotland!!!

SO TAKE THAT MRS. I****DE!!!!

But seriously, Moms (as well as dads)...the best opportunity I ever gave my DS was researching, interviewing and ultimately finding a Tutor for my DS. Like another poster said...it would have killed me if I knew my DS was struggling and he was embarassed with himself!!!

You know what in REALITY, that teacher who made that comment to me and DH about DS and "only being a C student"..did us a HUGE favor!! I jumped on that statement and made sure that DS was NOT EVER "just" a C student. I just wanted him happy and happy every day he walked out the door to school!!!

Sorry for rambling but I just wanted everyone reading this Thread to see the VALUE in hiring and working closely with Tutors with our kiddos as they head off to school. Hey, it is a tough world out there and any extra little boosts we can give our kids is the BONUS ROUND!!!!!!

 

[golfgal]

We have 3 kids, 2 of whom are very smart, one is a good student, one could be a good student if he ever did his homework and turned it in on time. Our DS11 is gifted. He is a straight A student, scores in the 99th percentile on the standardized tests, etc. School is simple for him. I take no credit for this what so ever because his intelligence has nothing to do with us other then the combination of our genetic make-up coming together to form this child. Yes, we read to him as a child, helped him learn his letters, numbers, etc. We encourage him but it is just the way he is. It always amazes me when parents think THEY are so superior because their child is smart.

Like Bob's (I think) signature "Your child might be an honor student, but you are a moron".

On a related subject, it is the same thing with sports, every child is going to be the next Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. The twins take golf lessons and do a league. One of the other moms was going on and on about what a wonderful golfer her son is, blah, blah, blah. I assumed he must be ok. Well, he golfed with DS11 that day and shot a 62 and she was saying that was his best score ever, DS shot 52 and DD shot a 48 (9 holes). The mom shut up after that.

 

[TruBlu]

Probably will get some flames for this but along these lines- I cringe every time I see all those lists printed in our local paper - alll the kids that made the Honor Roll or High Honor Roll. These are not celebrations of children that worked their hardest - they are celebrations of children that worked their hardest and achieved near perfection... FANTASTIC for them - but what about all the kids that worked 10 times harder only to get half as far?? My child because of his learning disabilities will never make it on the honor roll but he works even harder than most other kids. He gets all the help we can give to him, he stays for the afterschool program for tutoring, goes to the summer school session every year - we sit every night and work on therapy work, homework - he tries his absolute best each and every day - but since we don't reward hard work by itself his name will never be on a list...

That is my son exactly!!! We work for hours each night on the reading assignment that should only take 20 minutes. In our house we reward hard work and don't focus on the report card.

I DO however get very excited when he gets really good grades for things like... being kind to others, class participation, being helpful, etc. Since he is in elementary school, there is a whole section of grades on social skills. We dance around, cheer, and celebrate those grades!!!