who wants to trade family members for the holidays?

[disneybound31]

I will gladly hand over my SIL who spends EVERY family holiday talking non-stop about how much she HATES all family holiday's....really?! THEN STOP COMING! Her husband and only child are miserable every Thxgiving and Christmas because all she does is complain- actually, THEY tune her out now...WE are all miserable!! Biggest. Grinch. Ever.

 

[tinkarooni]

I'll play, I'll play!!!!!!

I will throw into the pot one SIL, she is 43 years old, she comes with three children but she is probably willing to go without them. She chooses the wrong man again and again, her three children's father was an unemployed jerk who left them to run off with his internet girlfriend on the oldest son's birthday.....seriously.

Since he left she has continued to choose men that are unemployed, overserved and sometimes a little frightening....of course you may find the challenge of following a different strange man every Christmas around your home to make sure he doesn't steal the silver exciting. She currently lives with MIL but she is happy to make her home with anyone who will pay her bills, raise her kids and not pass any judgement on her......perhaps you could be the lucky winner?

Just to sweeten the pot I will add that she gives great Christmas gifts.....she always wants to raise the gift giving limits, after all the sky is the limit when your mother is footing all your bills. Anyone?

 

[Chiker9]

I will throw in my own Father. My sister and I talked with him about not exchanging gifts last year and he insisted that he did not want to do that and proceeded to tell us what gifts he would like. When we showed up at his house to celebrate Christmas he took our gifts said thanks and that was it. He decided not to buy us anything. The worst thing is that he was too lazy to go out and get a gift for his 3 young grandchildren, they each got a card with a check that had been written that day. They would have been happy with a few things from the dollar store for goodness sakes. I am not expecting anything to change this year since he forgot to acknowledge their birthdays this year.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Wanted: One big, giant family. Even at our fullest, we've always been a small family and these days, we're down to just 3. I've always wanted the gigantic family experience where there are 40 people at grandma's house for Christmas and there are card tables and a million kids running around and a drunk uncle, chaos, and drama.

If you have one of those, please let me know. I'd love to try it out for a year. I'd be happy to buy everyone presents. I'll eat almost anything and have endless patience for small talk and elderly folks!

Offer: Just the 3 of us. Have you ever wanted a quiet escape one year? The chance to stay home and watch the whole Disney parade live without having to pile in the car to visit someone? The chance to eat whatever you want or even go out for the holidays? A teeny-tiny gift budget? An indulgent nap in the middle of the afternoon? First crack at the post-Christmas sales? No one asking you about your love life, plans to have children, or the raising of said children?

If so, let's swap! Mom and DH buy great gifts and sleep most of the day away. They're happy with anything from pizza to Boston Market. You'd hardly have to lift a finger!

Well I can relate to you (though I posted up my mom already.) I am an only, I have 2 cousins and an aunt and uncle but haven't spoken to any of them in years. It isn't cause of fights, just never really knew them. They lived far away and we just wern't and aren't close. I was abandonded by moth parents and raised by my grandparents. Never reconnected with my dad, my mom is not currently talking to me. My family is basically just my grandparents and my great grandma. My DH was abandonded by his mom, though they have somewhat reconnected. He was left with his neglegful father who is now passed. His only brother also passed (he was 26 at the time) and was not married or had children. He has a half sister who doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with us. So when we are all together it is DH and myself and our 3 kids and my grandparents and if we are at their house my great grandma, otherwise she won't travel. Bigger then 3 but I always dreamed of being part of a family, but a happy one. I think I'd rather have non then an unhappy one.

Holidays can be amazing, but can be hard too for so many and I think family, having it or not, makes it hard. Though like you I'd like a taste of the big family thing.

 

[gulf breeze]

I've got a SIL that I will gladly give a way....don't even need anything in return!
Really though don't ya'll think we are expecting alot??? I mean even Disney doesn't make One Big Happy Families!

 

[C.Ann]

You people are killing me here! I've got tears streaming down my face from laughing and I can't even play...

 

[mareeld86]

I will take anyone for my 2 pople my step mother who buys her children trips to other states flights accom etc and my DF and I a $30 gift card not dont get me wrong I dont mind getting a gift card but if you get 3 children one thing done exclude the other.
and my SIL who every year gives a cup with her daughters picture on it when we spend a generous amount on our niece and nephew.
Now I would like to say I have 5 cups with your daughters photo I dont need another one!

 

[richmond282]

I'm throwing in my SIL or as we refer to her "the mooch". She will show up any where, any time she thinks there's something in it for her.This includes using her kids to get stuff or attention too.

 

[dsanner106]

Awesome topic!

Would anyone like to borrow my niece for the Holidays?

She is horrified with the prospect receiving gifts that are "sub-standard". So this year she, her husband, and her two precious daughters are registered at Macy's.

That's right...registered...as in "Are you kidding me, I thought that was for weddings and baby showers?"

Of course, she did this as a favor to the rest of the family - to make our shopping experience easier and to avoid those pesky feelings of awkwardness which arise from giving gifts that are .... disappointing.

See how thoughtful she is?

Someone take her....please.

Wow, I would definately give her knockoffs of everything on the list. Vera Bradley bag?? nahhh, I would go for the Mira Hadley bag, Nike??? not when a perfectly good pair of Mike's is a third of the price. Ugg's??? not when Walmart has Muggs for a fraction of the cost... I would have bunches of fun with her.

Drew

 

[kaytieeldr]

I'll take all your relatives.

Oh. I'm hiding out in... wait, I'm not telling. I'm hiding out somewhere this year. I may not even tell the relative who lives there. Only one brother knows. But you all can pawn all these relatives off on me this year. I'm not telling them where I live, and I'm not telling them where I'm going - but they can all make plans to get together and talk about us

 

[gigi1313]

BUT, on the subject of grandparents, I'm getting my MIL a hefty gift certificate to her salon. .

this is possibly the *best* idea ever... i was going to get my (89yo) mom a kindle 'cause she loves her ipod, but i like this even better!!

and btw, as a gift idea for elderly... we took one of the kids "cast off" ipods (you know, when they traded up from a shuffle to an itouch) and had dd15 load all of my mom's cds (sinatra, swing music, b'way hits, etc) onto it and gave her that for her bday this summer... it was a HUGE HIT! i highly recommend it

 

[worm761]

Well I can relate to you (though I posted up my mom already.) I am an only, I have 2 cousins and an aunt and uncle but haven't spoken to any of them in years. It isn't cause of fights, just never really knew them. They lived far away and we just wern't and aren't close. I was abandonded by moth parents and raised by my grandparents. Never reconnected with my dad, my mom is not currently talking to me. My family is basically just my grandparents and my great grandma. My DH was abandonded by his mom, though they have somewhat reconnected. He was left with his neglegful father who is now passed. His only brother also passed (he was 26 at the time) and was not married or had children. He has a half sister who doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with us. So when we are all together it is DH and myself and our 3 kids and my grandparents and if we are at their house my great grandma, otherwise she won't travel. Bigger then 3 but I always dreamed of being part of a family, but a happy one. I think I'd rather have non then an unhappy one.

Holidays can be amazing, but can be hard too for so many and I think family, having it or not, makes it hard. Though like you I'd like a taste of the big family thing.

My mother disowned me when I was in my early 20's for standing up to her. I learned that family is what you make it. I love the BIG holiday dinners. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of all. I just love it. I invite anyone I know to spend the holiday with me. Most years we have a crowd but we live in a military town so lots of young sailors away from home. I suggest you invite friends to spend the holiday with you. I bet you guys know someone who also has a small family that might enjoy spending it with you. Start a new tradition!

Since I posted I will offer up boyfriend's mother. She thoroughly believes that she is more important than my family or his father's family. She also honestly believes that her children OWE her for being born. Yeah, we don't get along very well AT ALL! Though we live in Florida and she lives in NY so we don't actually spend the holidays together. I just would like someone to take her off my hands. LOL

 

[ChisJo]

Oooh...I'm so getting in on this action!

But, I am at a loss as to whom to choose from...so many people in my family are real peaches.

I could trade my BIL...he's real special. Thinks he's right all the time, a bully, swears non-stop (especially in front of the children...this is his greatest trait), and an alcoholic. He's got two kids and does not a thing with them. My sis is a lucky lady.

Or how about my other BIL. He's a pot head, a useless father and worse husband, a cheapskate who doesn't lend a cent to my sister to help with their 4 children. Oh, and he's also an alcoholic. He's a peach to be around to.

I could throw in my parents too. Their profile would go something like this: Older couple who hate the presence of one another seeks the company of individuals who love torture. Father likes to talk your ear off with about 10 different conversations at a time, switching back and forth between them like you know what the heck he's talking about. Mother knows everything about everything (including your area of specialities that you went to school for for 6 years and work in and have worked in for 5 years full time). The topic of government will bring the best of their pleasant personalities out, and trust me, it will be brought up despite all your efforts to not talk about it. And lets not forget their lack of tackfulness. They bring the happiness out in all...especially once their company has departed. Criticism is their best trait. If you lack something that they deem important, trust me, they'll ensure that you know how they feel. But the fact that the very presence of the other in the room is a disaster waiting to happen, is sure to bring an enjoyable night for all. And the star on the tree is that they hate every single gift you give them, and they are very vocal about their disdain for gift certificates...you can't even get that right!

I could throw in my long time drunk father in law whose so off his rocker its pathetic.

How about my other brother in law....he's a pot head, is 40 years old, in a dead end job, alcoholic, whose greatest attribute in life is hating his brother (my husband) who's successful (its called working at it...my BIL doesn't think hard work gets you anywhere).

I could go on, oh trust me, but I'll stop there.

I dread holidays. I work in a career where I can work on Christmas and for some reason year after year, I get scheduled.....I wonder why?

 

[ChisJo]

Wow, I would definately give her knockoffs of everything on the list. Vera Bradley bag?? nahhh, I would go for the Mira Hadley bag, Nike??? not when a perfectly good pair of Mike's is a third of the price. Ugg's??? not when Walmart has Muggs for a fraction of the cost... I would have bunches of fun with her.

Drew

 

[pigletto]

Awesome topic!

Would anyone like to borrow my niece for the Holidays?

She is horrified with the prospect receiving gifts that are "sub-standard". So this year she, her husband, and her two precious daughters are registered at Macy's.

That's right...registered...as in "Are you kidding me, I thought that was for weddings and baby showers?"

Of course, she did this as a favor to the rest of the family - to make our shopping experience easier and to avoid those pesky feelings of awkwardness which arise from giving gifts that are .... disappointing.

See how thoughtful she is?

Someone take her....please.

You have to be kidding. That's really obnoxious. WOW.
Don't you dare get her anything on that registry. Please look for the tackiest thing you can find and give that instead. Promise me you will

 

[ChisJo]

What a great idea!!

I offer up my SIL.

She must be related to the OP's BIL. No matter how nice of a gift you give her, her expression is always the same: like she just opened a big bag of dog poo. I actually would like to give her a big bag of dog poo, just so I could prove my theory that the expression is the same, is right.

Laughing so hard! That's awesome!!

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Awesome topic!

Would anyone like to borrow my niece for the Holidays?

She is horrified with the prospect receiving gifts that are "sub-standard". So this year she, her husband, and her two precious daughters are registered at Macy's.

That's right...registered...as in "Are you kidding me, I thought that was for weddings and baby showers?"

Of course, she did this as a favor to the rest of the family - to make our shopping experience easier and to avoid those pesky feelings of awkwardness which arise from giving gifts that are .... disappointing.

See how thoughtful she is?

Someone take her....please.

Go out and find the most God-awful, ugliest piece of knick-knack unusable trash you can find, go to Macy's and get an empty box for it, wrap it in beautiful paper, and when she opens it, smile beatifically and tell you that it wasn't on the registry, but you saw it and immediately thought of her and how well it would go on that table in the family/living/kitchen/bedroom of her lovely home. Then, if you ever go there, mention how much you're looking forward to seeing your gift in place as you picked it specially for her!

Oh, and don't forget to tell her that you lost the receipt, and it's a discontinued item to there are no returns!

As for the family exchange, I'll trade my brother. He's got a huge inferiority complex, which results in lots of insults disguised as "teasing" for DH because he's got to try and be beta-dog (can't be alpha-dog because the older DB and DF hold those spots), has a completely spoiled rotten DD from a completely psycho ex-wife and seems to feel that it's appropriate to compare her to my DS by saying she's so much bigger than he is and she could beat him up (OK, he said Kick his patootie but not that word...) while I'm thinking yeah, but my DS is really cute and your daughter, eh, not so much. He's got a very nice fiance now, so she's not part of the deal...

 

[PolyDec2008]

BUT, on the subject of grandparents, I'm getting my MIL a hefty gift certificate to her salon.

give her gifts away TO THE FAMILY THAT GAVE IT TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE. She's a gift giver's nightmare!!! But, I have high hopes that she will keep AND use this gift.

I gave my MIL a gift certificate to Lands End because she told me she wanted a pair of their silk long underwear. I didn't know the correct size to get her and figured a gift certificate would be the way to go (and she orders from them frequently). She somehow managed to get Lands End to give her a REFUND on the gift certificate

She also wanted a specific Christmas tree from Menards, we bought it for her, set it up at her house, decorated it, the whole works. She was so surprised and happy she cried. Guess what, one week before Christmas...she called Menards Headquarters and got permission to return the flippin tree for a full refund

I have never bought her a gift since. I wouldn't even put her in the group to be traded she is so awful.

 

[Belle5]

I dread holidays. I work in a career where I can work on Christmas and for some reason year after year, I get scheduled.....I wonder why?

I can't imagine how you are getting scheduled to work on Christmas year after year...it's a mystery to be sure!

I think I would be taking my kids to WDW instead where you can make good memories with them away from all the dysfunction.

 

[Robindianne]

I have a MIL who is a prescription drug addict, laughs one minute and cries the next, and cannot have a conversation without talking smack about someone.

OMG this is my mother! Are you married to my brother? I was recently able to "not recommend" a job candidate due to seeing the signs I grew up seeing: shaking hands, words getting slightly more and more slurred over the half hour interview, voice getting higher pitched.

I won't trade but someone can take her, and my sister who's joined to mom's hip, even after mom passed out while babysitting sis's child, breaking her ankle so the bone came out of the skin, and leaving my dear nephew (then 11) to figure out what to do about it at 9 PM.