Me, I would pick Hawaii. Avoid prime travel times. Pick your airline carefully. Specific airlines have had more issues than others.
I have gone to Hawaii about 7 times since I was there for a 4-month job in 2000. I stay for 7-23 days. Yep, if I am flying that far, I am making good use of it.
Maui is a very American-forward island. We like to call it Camp Hawaii. Ziplines, biking down a volcano, snorkeling with turtles, outrigger canoe excursions. Lots of restaurants.
Hawaii (the Big Island) is like visiting a small town. That happens to be on an island. Tourism doesn’t seem to be the main focus. But it is a lovely place to be. Volcanoes National Park is a day’s worth of hiking and seeing from the top of a volcano down to the sea and the area where Kilauea poured out its lava and obliterated a subdivision. On the other side of the island is dry Kona. But also it’s snow-covered volcano Mauna Kea (Loa?). There’s a cowboy/western town up on a plateau where the cattle ranch there was once the second largest in the US. The Southern-most point of the United States is on Hawaii.
Kauai is Hawaii-proud and would like to be Hawaiian, not American. But I have never felt any hostility. Tourism here is subtle. Nature is the calling card. The Grand Canyon of the Pacific (Waimea Canyon) is lovely. A day sail up the Napali Coast offers beautiful views. Kauai has been the backdrop for many movies. You can paddle board or kayak on the interior peaceful rivers. There’s a challenging hiking trail on the North Shore. The Southern shore has dry, sunny beaches.
Oahu is a blend of mountains, beaches, big cities and smaller communities. Water and land activities abound. It is the honeymoon destination for young couples from Asia (Especially at Waikiki Beach). You can climb Diamond Head, head to the Polynesian Cultural Center to have a hands-on introduction to the various cultures that have formed the unique Hawaiian culture. Kualoa Ranch offers horseback and ATV tours of the valley seen in lots of movies. Pearl Harbor allows for a day of education in our history.
I have stayed at Aulani twice. I did not use it as a base, due to price. When I spend that much on a hotel, I utilize its facilities and then move on. (Hawaii hotels are never going to be cheap. Unless they are a hole in the wall - and those are mainly by the Honolulu airport). Oahu hotels also have steep parking fees. Your idea of decompressing at Aulani at the start of the trip is a great idea. No car needed. Across the street is a branch if ABC stores (Island Market) for drinks, snacks, sundries, hot food. There is also a BBQ (not what we think of - it’s a plate lunch), an Eggs ‘n Things (great breakfast foods). And Monkeypod Cafe is a restaurant by one of the founders of Hawaii Regional Cooking (he started the movement to get produce locally and pay the farmers decent wages instead of importing food at high prices from the mainland). And Aulani has multiple food outlets.
I found the beds at Aulani to be uncomfortable. No other complaints. We had a two bedroom villa the first time and a one-bedroom the next - no sleep surface in it was okay. My back hurt the entire time, bed or living room sleep area.
(I usually stay in timeshares, giving me en-suite kitchen and laundry.)
Hui is a car rental program that allows for partial-day rentals (no overnight parking fees required).
YouTube cruisers have also been mentioning Turo for car rental from locals.
If I were limited to a few vacation destinations for the rest of my life, it would be Hawaii and Alaska (especially SE AK cruises). I have found both places to be welcoming of tourists.
But my next vacation is a Caribbean cruise to San Juan (4 hours in port at night), St Thomas, Puerto Plata DR, and a private cruise island in the Bahamas. The flights are so much short to FL.
Flying is not a guaranteed headache since re-start. But you can’t make the distance to Hawaii any shorter. I have stopped for an overnight in LA a few times in the way there. It has helped. I have also visited
Disneyland while that close.
So much world out there. Good luck choosing.