When should parents start making their girls wear shirts around the house and yard?

[goofy!]

Funny, everyone else in this thread has taken this opportunity to have a discussion about modesty and parenting, except you. You've chosen to launch accusations instead. Says a lot about a person.

Don't let that poster get to you. Most of us never had it enter into our heads that there was anything "creepy" about the question

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Don't let that poster get to you. Most of us never had it enter into our heads that there was anything "creepy" about the question

Agreed

 

[goofy!]

I'm married to someone of a different skin color, but nice try.

And yes, if some random creepy man walked up to me and started discussing my five year old daughter's 'modesty', I'd probably deck him with my purse and shriek for the police, because it would be so over the top inappropriate that it would be suggestive that the person was a predator.

Of course, you're so deluded about your creepiness it's probably not worth explaining that to you.

Here's a clue: thinking that a six year old has anything to be modest 'about' says that you're thinking about a six year old girl in terms of sexuality. That's on you, pal. Stop looking at pictures of your friend's little girl without her top on if that's where your brain goes.

ETA: quoting me over and over to make a different defensive and weird comments does not make you look any less creepy.

Your overreaction says way more about you than the OP.

Adults can have adult discussions about cultural norms without having "creepy" thoughts.

The fact that you went there immediately and ranted about it says way more about where your mind is than anyone else's

 

[topolino]

Don't let that poster get to you. Most of us never had it enter into our heads that there was anything "creepy" about the question

Thank you. I get it now. Looking back at his/her posting history reveals a clear propensity towards pot stirring.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I'm married to someone of a different skin color, but nice try.

And yes, if some random creepy man walked up to me and started discussing my five year old daughter's 'modesty', I'd probably deck him with my purse and shriek for the police, because it would be so over the top inappropriate that it would be suggestive that the person was a predator.

Of course, you're so deluded about your creepiness it's probably not worth explaining that to you.

Here's a clue: thinking that a six year old has anything to be modest 'about' says that you're thinking about a six year old girl in terms of sexuality. That's on you, pal. Stop looking at pictures of your friend's little girl without her top on if that's where your brain goes.

ETA: quoting me over and over to make different defensive and weird comments does not make you look any less creepy.

I am not the type to report posts, but this has got to qualify as a personal attack. Why the vitriol?

 

[phorsenuf]

I'm married to someone of a different skin color, but nice try.

And yes, if some random creepy man walked up to me and started discussing my five year old daughter's 'modesty', I'd probably deck him with my purse and shriek for the police, because it would be so over the top inappropriate that it would be suggestive that the person was a predator.

Of course, you're so deluded about your creepiness it's probably not worth explaining that to you.

Here's a clue: thinking that a six year old has anything to be modest 'about' says that you're thinking about a six year old girl in terms of sexuality. That's on you, pal. Stop looking at pictures of your friend's little girl without her top on if that's where your brain goes.

ETA: quoting me over and over to make different defensive and weird comments does not make you look any less creepy.

Holy jump to a conclusion Batman

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Once a child is potty trained she should be wearing a shirt outside the house IMHO.

I agree. I know I am in the minority (and I'm used to that!) and my views on modesty are conservative. My daughter is almost 4. When she was potty trained at 2 1/2, we taught her you don't show anyone your panties, that's private. (You have no idea how tempting it is for a 2 year old to show everyone her new princess panties!) Along with that comes sitting like a lady when you are in a dress, keeping your dress down, wearing a shirt at all times, not lifting it up to show everyone your belly, etc. But even my boys do not walk around topless. DH wear a shirt around the house, and DS is little right now, but he will wear a shirt around the house, too. We are also more modest with swimwear. DH does not swim topless, and DS (and DD when she was a baby) wears a rash guard top with his swim diaper. DD wears 2-pieces (much easier to go potty in), but they always cover her belly. She's had some tank styles and some rashguard tops. My tops are the same - 2-pieces with long tank tops.

Anyway, I say all this because this is what we believe about modesty. I don't think it gives anyone a negative body image at all, and I don't think it guards my kids against pedophiles (pedophiles don't care what the kids are wearing). I honestly have no idea what my husband does in public restrooms, and he'll be the one to teach my son how to use a public restroom.

 

[tmarquez]

I have a DD(8) and she prefers little to no clothing. She knows that you wear a full set of clothes in front of others...but I think what she wears in the privacy of our house or pool (privacy fenced) is up to her.

I think it is awesome that she feels so comfortable with herself. As a kid I wouldn't even swim in a 1-piece without a t-shirt over it.

I'm assuming she is getting close to the age now where she will want to be more covered up...but even at 8...not a big deal.

Would I take pictures of her less than fully dressed and put it on the internet...uhh...no way...that's just insane!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

NM- not worth it.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I think DisneyBamaFan trying to play the role of innocent bystander is somewhat hilarious

And, I'm hardly a pot-stirrer. I don't post enough to be invested. I found your thread both gross and offensive, and anyone with a shred of common sense would realize why it's inappropriate.

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. My husband was taken back by two little girls about 4 or 5 years old whose mother stripped them naked to play in the splashpad at Epcot the other day. Does that make him a creepy pedophile? Is the Cast Member who told her they needed to have clothes on a creepy pedophile?

 

[dngnb8]

I tend to agree.

I think if I were a parent of a girl, by the time she turns six I would've had the modesty conversation with her, to tell her that boys and girls are different and that girls need to cover certain parts that boys don't.

Why at 6? The bottom is covered which is anatomically different, but the top is not different then the boys "at that age"

When the child is at the age that changes are coming soon, then that discussion would be warranted.

What is the predisposition to have that convo at age 6? And on what basis?

 

[topolino]

OP here. Thanks to all the rational adults on this thread who've responded.

Not that it's owed to anyone, but a bit about my situation. I have no kids, am happily married, and am in a postition where people come to me regularly for parenting advice. I won't go any further into the reason, but I assure you, it's perfectly legitimate. Topics like the one I posted here are commonplace for parents and for those who deal with parenting issues, so it amazes me that anyone would be offended that I posted it.

 

[Bunnyfeather]

Modesty IMHO has a sexual basis. Not necessary at 6.

Modesty does not need to have a sexual basis. My son is 3. If I did not instruct him otherwise, he would whip out his ***** in public for the sheer joy of it. He is very proud of his *****. There is nothing sexual in his desire to get naked. There is nothing sexual in my desire to keep him appropriately clothed with the ***** put away while I pay for groceries. He is instructed to keep his pants and shirt and shoes on in stores. Modesty has to do with cultural norms for body coverage in various settings. If it was the cultural norm to wear a hat, we would do that, too.

 

[goofy!]

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. My husband was taken back by two little girls about 4 or 5 years old whose mother stripped them naked to play in the splashpad at Epcot the other day. Does that make him a creepy pedophile? Is the Cast Member who told her they needed to have clothes on a creepy pedophile?

Everybody has their own vision of how conservative or how un-conservative they want to raise their family. There is no wrong way to do it, unless you are going completely against cultural norms such as showing up at Cinderella's Castle nekkid.

It can be confusing for some, especially those without their own children, when family one is entirely comfortable with just bikini bottoms on young girls and another family thinks it better to have a top on starting at a young age.

I can fully understand the question of when people usually start teaching modesty. No pedophilia need be involved to be curious about when this topic is usually discussed in a family.

 

[Magpie]

I think DisneyBamaFan trying to play the role of innocent bystander is somewhat hilarious

And, I'm hardly a pot-stirrer. I don't post enough to be invested. I found your thread both gross and offensive, and anyone with a shred of common sense would realize why it's inappropriate.

"Gross and offensive"? Really?

So this thread would have been just hunky-dory with you if the OP had lady-parts in his pants?

 

[topolino]

Why at 6? The bottom is covered which is anatomically different, but the top is not different then the boys "at that age"

When the child is at the age that changes are coming soon, then that discussion would be warranted.

What is the predisposition to have that convo at age 6? And on what basis?

No, 6 isn't the magical age where the situation changes, I just use 6 as a point of reference because that is the age of the child in question in this thread.

I just said that if I had a 6 year old, I would've already had that conversation with him or her. I'm not sure when it would've happened, but by then I think I would've explained to her about societal norms and some of the differences between the genders.

 

[punkin]

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. My husband was taken back by two little girls about 4 or 5 years old whose mother stripped them naked to play in the splashpad at Epcot the other day. Does that make him a creepy pedophile? Is the Cast Member who told her they needed to have clothes on a creepy pedophile?

...but were these girls wearing bottoms? and would the CM have said anything if they were?

It amazes me that a topless 6 year old bothers anyone. Bottomless children are a different story. Yes, those are my norms, but I don't think I am that far out of the norm for Western mores.

 

[topolino]

Modesty does not need to have a sexual basis. My son is 3. If I did not instruct him otherwise, he would whip out his ***** in public for the sheer joy of it. He is very proud of his *****. There is nothing sexual in his desire to get naked. There is nothing sexual in my desire to keep him appropriately clothed with the ***** put away while I pay for groceries. He is instructed to keep his pants and shirt and shoes on in stores. Modesty has to do with cultural norms for body coverage in various settings. If it was the cultural norm to wear a hat, we would do that, too.

Exactly. This is what I'm trying to say, it's got to do with what is and what isn't acceptable in society, not about sexuality.

An example is publice uriniation. Nothing sexual at all about it, yet it still deals with covering up and exposing oneself. Part of the modesty discussion is sexual based, not all of it.

 

[punkin]

OP here. Thanks to all the rational adults on this thread who've responded.

Not that it's owed to anyone, but a bit about my situation. I have no kids, am happily married, and am in a postition where people come to me regularly for parenting advice. I won't go any further into the reason, but I assure you, it's perfectly legitimate. Topics like the one I posted here are commonplace for parents and for those who deal with parenting issues, so it amazes me that anyone would be offended that I posted it.

...but this particular parent didn't come to you for advise...maybe because she feels there's nothing wrong with topless six year olds.

 

[Mermaid02]

Don't let that poster get to you. Most of us never had it enter into our heads that there was anything "creepy" about the question

Your overreaction says way more about you than the OP.

Adults can have adult discussions about cultural norms without having "creepy" thoughts.

The fact that you went there immediately and ranted about it says way more about where your mind is than anyone else's

Holy jump to a conclusion Batman

Agree with all the above posts.

To answer the UNCREEPY original post... around here it was about 2 or 3... and I think it was more that my daughter noticed that Mommy didn't go around topless and she was mimicking me. I don't ever recall telling her she had to "cover up" it just kind of happened.