Are you a hugger?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

And a woman I have known for over 50 years, a neighbor growing up, we went to high school and college together, we even dated, felt the need to ASK before she hugged me after my mom passed. That was so odd as a hug was such a natural response. So yes, I am a hugger, but a lot less than I used to be because hugging apparently is offensive to some

I think we're just more aware that not everyone actually wanted hugs. A main example used is kids forced to hug their relatives, I even grew up under that it was just the whole "go hug your aunt and say bye, go hug your grandmother to say thanks" it wasn't really a choice but an expectation. These days we're more attuned that not all kids are comfortable with that.

It seems natural to you because you were under the society that made it so all were more or less pressured to and not doing so was a snub. Nowadays? We're just more into bodily autonomy. That isn't about a hug being offensive but about having a say in whether you want that contact or not. Speaking to a language that may be understood better it's about respecting someone and their comfort level.

That's not getting into covid and how it affected people.

 

[tvguy]

I think we're just more aware that not everyone actually wanted hugs. A main example used is kids forced to hug their relatives, I even grew up under that it was just the whole "go hug your aunt and say bye, go hug your grandmother to say thanks" it wasn't really a choice but an expectation. These days we're more attuned that not all kids are comfortable with that.

It seems natural to you because you were under the society that made it so all were more or less pressured to and not doing so was a snub. Nowadays? We're just more into bodily autonomy. That isn't about a hug being offensive but about having a say in whether you want that contact or not. Speaking to a language that may be understood better it's about respecting someone and their comfort level.

That's not getting into covid and how it affected people.

Hugging was not a thing in my family growing up but I know some families were and still are that way. As a coworker put it, "you really have to read the room" before hugging someone. Asking just seems so awkward, especially if the person says no. There is no question things were out of control in many offices in the 1970's, but sometimes I wonder if we have tightened things up just a bit too much.

 

[prairie_girl]

Nope. I’m very claustrophobic and my husband knows that after a few seconds of him hugging me, I’m going to start wriggling to get out lol.

He is also 6’7” so his hugs are all consuming

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Hugging was not a thing in my family growing up but I know some families were and still are that way. As a coworker put it, "you really have to read the room" before hugging someone. Asking just seems so awkward, especially if the person says no. There is no question things were out of control in many offices in the 1970's, but sometimes I wonder if we have tightened things up just a bit too much.

I don't find asking awkward at all. If they say no totally fine but I think you have to get and be okay with the concept that others may not be comfortable/want a hug in the first place for it to not feel awkward to you.

Again I'm not talking about offices which should adhere to a more professional setting to begin with, I'm talking about your comment, that I quoted, which was about your long-time friend asking you if they could hug you.

People are just more aware of differing preferences.

 

[fla4fun]

Hugs:
Immediate family - okay
Friends - special occasions only (wedding, funeral)
Acquaintances or strangers - no

No kisses of any kind unless it’s a romantic relationship

Don’t mind if other people do, but I need my personal space. I can usually tolerate a handshake . . .

 

[team bradfield]

Kids and grandkids only, greatgrands too young yet