When should I tell my sons that they are autistic?

[Nik's Mom]

No matter when you tell them, please make sure that they don't think they can use it as an excuse for their behavior. I have a I work with now who basically "chooses" when he wants to be autistic, if that makes sense. He has been taught that autism is a get out of jail free card, and will use it. He actually said to me the other day, "I have autism. That means my brain doesn't make connections and I can't make choices." It's frustrating because I know this kid and I know what he is and isn't capable of. However, he has been taught that if he says the magic word he can do whatever he wants. It's been an ongoing battle to change that attitude.

We don't allow autism to be an excuse for misbehavior now and we sure as heck wouldn't allow it once our sons know they are autistic.

 

[DisneyDreams4P&B]

We tell our sons (9&6) that our oldest has autism, like their sister has blue eyes and Mommy has brown hair. It is what makes us who we are. Nothing wrong, just different and uniquely our own person. We explain that it makes our oldest son have difficulty in some areas, but that everyone has their own things that are tough for them, but that autism also lets our son remember all of the lines from his favorite movies! We explain it in terms they can relate to and understand.

Good Luck!!