When Planning a Wedding.......

[blessedby3]

$3 a person for food and drinks - curious as to what you served????

We served bbq meatballs, ham rolls, chicken salad sandwiches, veggie trays, fruit bowls, chese and crackers, nuts and mints...and then we had the cake. For drinks, I bought 11 cases of water (it was an outdoor wedding in July--HOT) and so we had those inside and outside. We also had lemonade and sweet iced tea.
At Sams this is what we got:
We bought 5 bags of meatballs (about $15 each) and the BBQ sauce, 2 huge bags of chicken ($24 each) to make the chicken salad (along with mayo and ranch and celery), 2 large cans of mixed nuts ($15 each) 2 large bags of mints ($5 each), 2 boxes of mixed crackers ($9 each), bags of cubed cheese, celery, broccoli, peppers, 3 large watermelons, strawberries, grapes, blueberries.
I got 3 whole boneless hams from Kroger and had them sliced ($60 for three hams). I got the rolls from a bread store (15 bags at $1.69/24 roll pack) and the bread for the chicken salad sandwiches came from Kroger (10 for $10). We got 15 loafs.
My good friend who made all that chicken salad also made all the tea. She got tea bags (Kroger Brand) and a big bag of sugar and made lots of gallons of tea in the few days before the wedding. My other friend was in charge of the lemonade and we bought 2 of those cans of Country Time from Sams for $6 a can. We still have some of that left. They made up the tea and lemonade and put them in empty washed out milk/water jugs.
We ended up having some food leftover...mainly fruit and veggies

I was pretty proud of myself and my friends for being able to feed that amount of people on that budget! It was all delicious and people went back for seconds and thirds

 

[CluelessDisFan]

I agree with PPs. The most memorable thing for my guests was the food, and the venue. We were married on a gorgeous day at a lighthouse and our reception was at a historic winery. Everything was naturally beautifully. You just have to think outside the box. Think of things you've never seen before at a wedding. That will make it memorable for you and your guests.
Also I understand wanting to impress them, yes it's a day about you and your soon to be husband, but you spend all that money for the party for everyone else to enjoy as well, don't be sorry about wanting to impress them. It makes perfect sense. Remember to stay true to yourselves, and you'll for sure impress your guests.

 

[java]

It depends on your people. For us we knew Drinks and Food were most important. So we picked a venue that served killer food and OPEN bar. We also knew we had a dancing crowd. I really wanted a particular swing band but it was too huge a group to fit in our venue so I went with another band that was great- they had both a male and a female singer which made a huge difference.

Bottom line though is that different regions have different things that are important. I can tell you if I had a cash bar at my wedding that would have been what people would have remembered. 23 years later I can still remember who had a cash bar.

 

[Chelley00]

SEATING ARRANGEMENTS!
We spent extra time to figure out what people from each of our families had in common and seated them together. It was NOT just a table of his Aunts & Uncles and a then a table of mine, etc. We mingled them together along with friends and co-workers. I received numerous comments about how nice it was to sit with so and so and they had no idea that they did xxxxx too!

I would hate that. Usually weddings are one of the few times we get to see our extended families because we are all spread out. I'd rather sit with them and catch up then have to sit with people I don't know very well.

 

[sk!mom]

Most important to guests- food, drinks, music, and comfort.

Two best weddings I've ever been to.
1. At a Country Club with an open bar, delicious buffet, great DJ. I remember nothing about the ceremony, what anyone wore, or decorations. It is a beautiful venue and the wedding was at Christmas so I really think they just utilized the CC decorations.

2. Much more budget but just as fun. In a hall with a Western barbecue theme. Checked table clothes, beer kegs and champagne was served for the toasts but no other alcohol, catered buffet of brisket, beans, potato salad, and then the cake. Again a great DJ.

I'm sure wedding #2 was much less costly but it was just as fun and memorable because they did it well. Don't try to find cheap ways to do things you can't afford. It just ends up tacky.

People complain the most about cash bars and being too hot or cold so watch those.

 

[crisi]

Where do you put your money to get the best impression from the guests prospective?

What sort of impression are you trying to make? Elegant? Comfortable? Fun? Gracious? Happy? Because if you are looking for "elegant" you'll probably spend more on venue and such. Fun might involve less venue but more on a great band or DJ. Comfortable might mean spending to make sure there is a kids room with a sitter.

 

[windycitymom]

Trust me, 5 years from now, people won't remember anything about your wedding but they will remember if they had a good time. No one remembers the details. Get a wedding video! We watch our video every year on our anniversary. Photos are great but a video is a must-have IMO.

Here's a quote to remember: Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

 

[reginaastralis]

Here's a quote to remember: Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

That's a great quote, especially when you're really looking into planning a wedding, and you hear these stories of people spending so much money. I'm drawn to a lot of pretty pictures on my pinterest, but I know there is no way I can afford everything I want. I've always had a champagne taste, but sadly not even on a beer budget, more like a kool-aid budget, lol. I'd love to have a Disney wedding, but I want as many of my family and friends at my wedding that can make it ... and there is no way I'd be willing to spend that much money to have my wedding at Disney.

This is you and your partners day. The best impression you're going to leave your guest should be the fact that the two of you are thrilled. If Aunt Suzy isn't happy with the food or so and so doesn't like the band, TOUGH, if it's what you like, then it should be good enough.

 

[luv2mickey]

You guys have great advice, this is what I was looking for. I am the mother of the bride and my dh and I are paying for the whole wedding. Thankfully my dd is not a , she is looking for a casual elegant event. She has just gotten engaged and the wedding will not be until May, 2014 so we have time to plan. My dh and I have a budget in our head but have not told my dd yet because we want to look at venues first and want to make sure we won't need to adjust it.

Your advice all led me to what I was thinking, does anyone really know if your dress is $5000 or $1500, I thought about doing our our own invitations (can you tell they weren't done by a prof?) and the table decorations she wants hydrangeas so I'm thinking spend money on the bride and bridesmaids flowers and go to hobby Lobby for some sort of tea lights and holders and my friend who has hundreds of hydrangeas in her yard has offered to cut flowers for the tables.

I do not want to make any of the food, I want to enjoy myself and not feel stressed. But I am willing to make or do things that can be done in advance and depending on the venue I am hoping we can buy the beer and wine ourselves and hire someone to serve it. That alone would save a lot of money.

I was thinking the venue, the food and drink, and the music may be the larger part of budget. The photographer is covered our neighbor does our photography and her prices are reasonable since she does it from her home.

I'm going to throw the budget out there and you guys tell me if we are being reasonable, does $15,000 sound like we can do it? For approx. 150 guests.

 

[dvcgirl]

It's a lot of things, but the thing that everyone always talks about around here in NJ first is the food. Secondly is the setting. We have a lot of nice venues on the water around here. And then the music.

I think weddings are the most fun when it's a family member getting married, but it's important to have music that is enjoyable to everyone. Yes, yes, it's the "couples day", but you're inviting all of those people to celebrate with you. So it's important to include them.

I've been to weddings where there's "dinner music", the father-daughter dance, the mother-son dance and then it was off to "da club" for the rest of the night with loud pumping dance music. That's fine....if you want 12 people on the dance floor all night with 100 spectators.

 

[lindsmom]

But I am willing to make or do things that can be done in advance and depending on the venue I am hoping we can buy the beer and wine ourselves and hire someone to serve it. That alone would save a lot of money.

I'm going to throw the budget out there and you guys tell me if we are being reasonable, does $15,000 sound like we can do it? For approx. 150 guests.

I think you will need to check with the venue for bringing in the alcohol. If you're going to a restaurant / club that will be providing the food in house, I think you can't bring alcohol in because of liability. However, if you're going to a VFW / hall where the caterer will be hired by you to come in, then you should be able to get the alcohol.

For a budget, I'm not going to comment - I think you would need someone in your area to help you. That can be a very geographic thing, much like many other discussions on here about money (babysitters, etc).

 

[crisi]

I got married almost 20 years ago now for less than $5k. We were married by a JP in chambers with seven people in attendance. We threw a party for 200 people. We had sub sandwiches, wine, beer and soda (the food was the most expensive part of the wedding). I did my own cake, a friend did the flowers. The rental on the site (a park building) and the rental of the cop (so we could serve alcohol) were big ticket items. My brother in law took pictures, a friend DJ'd. A wore an off the shelf cocktail dress and my husband wore a suit. Twenty years later, people still remember the reception, because it was a little different (almost no one remembers the wedding, because almost no one was there!)

I think you can do it for $15k and if that is your budget than that is what you should do it for. Or even less. Let it be fun and quirky and unusual - borrow the help of friends. The pig roast at the farm was wonderful.

I remember lots of the weddings I've been to. I don't remember the food. I remember the venue. I remember the look on the bride and grooms faces. I remember the flowers. I remember the cake. And the dance. And anything the was unusual - like the pig roast at the farm. Or the "classic" cars to replace the limo from church. Or the bride and groom who had a Packers themed wedding.

I've watched friends get married in backyards and in cathedrals and been to receptions at mom's house and at country clubs. And what I remember most is, this is going to sound both wonderful and horrible, being happy for the people for whom I was happy and being scared when I thought a mistake was being made (and sometimes I was wrong on both sides).

 

[luv2mickey]

I think you will need to check with the venue for bringing in the alcohol. If you're going to a restaurant / club that will be providing the food in house, I think you can't bring alcohol in because of liability. However, if you're going to a VFW / hall where the caterer will be hired by you to come in, then you should be able to get the alcohol.

I've already looked at very nice venues that you are paying for the space, therefore you supply the caterer and the alcohol. My comment has more to do with what venue will they choose and if this is an option.

I forgot to mention these venues are renovated mills and plantation homes not the VFW hall.

 

[luv2mickey]

I've watched friends get married in backyards and in cathedrals and been to receptions at mom's house and at country clubs. And what I remember most is, this is going to sound both wonderful and horrible, being happy for the people for whom I was happy and being scared when I thought a mistake was being made (and sometimes I was wrong on both sides).[/QUOTE]


Oh I get it, that is why I have talked to my kids many many times that it's not about the wedding it's about the marriage.

 

[CinderellaMouse]

I thought about doing our our own invitations (can you tell they weren't done by a prof?)

IMO, yes (although of course it's possible that I've received handmade invitations that I had no idea were handmade because they did look professional). I've gotten a couple DIY invitations that, to be honest, looked like elementary school craft projects. It didn't bother me as much as make me feel sorry for the bride - the invitation is one of the few parts of a wedding that lasts, because you'll keep one the rest of your life. I could imagine the girl looking at the thing in 25 years and thinking, "why on earth did I think I should glue a couple pieces of colored paper together and call it a wedding invitation?!" Keep in mind that making your own invites is also VERY timeconsuming - a friend of mine made her own with 2 bridesmaids, and it took them FOREVER.

That said, an invitation is by no means the most important part of the wedding. I'd rather have, say, a nice dress and great photos than a perfect invite. I don't think most guests care a lot about what they look like. I personally care much more about the wording of the invitation (I'm an English major! ).

As an aside, can I beg you to not put registry details on the invitation? This may not be as common in your area as it is in mine, but I'm always seeing it on invites although most etiquette resources tell you not to. It's like, "Please come to my wedding - and by the way, make sure you bring a present, and here's where you should buy it!" While wedding gifts are of course something everyone brings, they are in theory meant to be a "surprise." Give your guests a little credit - they can ask around to find out where you're registered, or they can go to macys.com and put your name into the registry to see if you're there. Okay, end of rant.

 

[luv2mickey]

IMO, yes (although of course it's possible that I've received handmade invitations that I had no idea were handmade because they did look professional). I've gotten a couple DIY invitations that, to be honest, looked like elementary school craft projects. It didn't bother me as much as make me feel sorry for the bride - the invitation is one of the few parts of a wedding that lasts, because you'll keep one the rest of your life. I could imagine the girl looking at the thing in 25 years and thinking, "why on earth did I think I should glue a couple pieces of colored paper together and call it a wedding invitation?!" Keep in mind that making your own invites is also VERY timeconsuming - a friend of mine made her own with 2 bridesmaids, and it took them FOREVER.

OMG, I wasn't thinking handmade! I was thinking they could be made on the computer with heavy cardstock or something. Honestly I just didn't know if it could even be done.

 

[mrsklamc]

We looked at making our own invites but it ended up being cheaper to order them from rexcraft.com - though that was several years ago and we didn't have any inserts, etc (RSVP's seem to be pretty useless anymore as people don't have the good sense to do it.)

 

[reginaastralis]

About the liquor, it's something that depends on your venue and your caterer. At the venue we're looking at, they only have one caterer that is licensed properly for an open bar (liability and such) and they are a set fee depending on the hours you book them for. Our second choice venue, the bar is stocked by what I buy ... which means I can bring home whatever is left over, shop "sales" and so on. The second choice bar tab COULD be cheaper ... or it could end up like the wedding I was at this year where they ran out of everything but Natty Ice.

Our budget is looking like it's going to run around $15k, but we haven't spoken to his parents to see if they are willing to contribute anything, so that might go up or down. My parents aren't able to ... so if it ends up costing us $15k, you can bet I'll be a bride on a budget.

 

[lindsmom]

I forgot to mention these venues are renovated mills and plantation homes not the VFW hall.

I've actually been to some very sweet weddings at vfw halls - because we knew that was all the couple could afford, but they wanted to celebrate with their families and we were happy to celebrate with them.

I guess I was under the impression you were trying to keep it an affordable budget, so I thought a church hall or something like that was an option. I apologize if I offended you with the suggestion.

 

[Lucille1963]

Our wedding was 10 years ago next month, and when we see family they still talk about how good our food was (pig roast!)

On the flip side, when I think of other weddings I've attended, I'll always remember the wedding where we had to stop at Taco Bell on the way home because it was 11pm and the entree hadn't been served yet!