When do young men start to show maturity??

[Chris2597]

He has been living with my mom ( she is elderely and everyone felt safer having someone in the house with her).....but it has turned into an opportunity for him to be the party boy..My mom refuses to lay down the law in her house, gets mad at him...gets us involved...but then wont follow through with anything...so we come out the bad guy....We have his cell in our name, car is titled to me, on our insurance, gym membership is in his name but is drafted from my savings acct (he has paid me monthly for this but isnt working now....so I doubt that will be reimb.), he even had Roadrunner at my moms to play his video games on line.....The RR went last month....he couldnt believe it. I am cancelling the auto draft for the gym membership today and he will have to make arrangments to pay the gym. The cell phone contract is up in March and dh said he wont renew..The car will be the last resort....as I know if dh takes it, he will get rid of it, but we have put a deadline on it, also..I love my son and want the best for him but it appears he is happy with having handouts from us and his granny....and not doing anything....
It helps so much to hear other peoples stories....I feel so mean but I know we have to do something.

 

[Chris2597]

Ok.....this may be it...but I am not holding my breath.....Ds informed me that he actually applied for a job at a place dh and I suggested today....He claims they are going to call him on Monday for an interview....Now if we can just get him signed up for college....I will be one happy mom....

 

[Nancy]

DH is 35 and it hasn't happened yet

Mines 47 and I'm still waiting!

 

[Chris2597]

Oh no, dont tell me that!!

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

: :

Do men actually ever mature? Just kidding!!!


See you just hit the nail on the head. Most guys are living breathing Peter Pan's who NEVER GROW UP! I have three DH 51, ds 22, ds, 18. The "Y" gene is perennial youth!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Hopethings are starting to get better!

my younger brother is 19 (im 21) and we are so different! he is going to be graduating from community college in May because mom told him he needed to do at least 2 years...He is not quite mature yet--still going out alot and things like that, but he isnt too bad anymore--he works almost full time and pays for all his entertainment, his car, etc...

but i know alot of guys my age that i go to school wtih ...im still waiting for them to mature!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I feel so mean but I know we have to do something.

Trust me, you are doing the right thing.

In fact it would be wise to sit with your son and apologize for handing him everything. Tell him that you did not understand what would happen if you did that. Explain that he is a young man and is missing out on the wonderful years of turning into a "man".
I would take on a attitude of blame and shame (yourselves of course).

Then....explain how you are going to correct your mistakes and ask him if he will forgive you.

Now when he gives you the "you are crazy parents" look and gets mad you can shake your head and say..."you see what has happened?" or "when you are older I do not want you to look back with shame that your parents did not do their job".

 

[Michie]

When you find out let me know!

My 21 year old is responsible, but not mature if that makes sense. We do require him to set goals, long term and short term, maybe that would help. He will graduate shortly and whenever I ask him what he is going to do after that he always tell me he is too busy to think about it, he will figure it out later He always has a job and has never been into trouble so I guess I should not complain too much but still....

 

[Michie]

Just wanted to add that my 21 year old and 19 year old, they pay for their own cell phones, their insurance, vehicle repairs etc. That is just part of being a grown-up and realizing that paying bills is just a fact of life. They both also when they are home from college on breaks, they have a curfew and have to follow house rules, PERIOD. I do NOT want them so comfortable at home that they never leave.

 

[Laurajean1014]

My husband is 45 and I'm still waiting.....

 

[Galahad]

Seriouslly, I don't think most really get half a clue until after 25. 20 year olds are still children, IMO.

 

[powellrj]

I just saw a preview for the movie Failure to Launch and thought of this thread!! Its about a 35 year old who still lives at home!!