When Did I Get Voted Off of Skinny Island & Why is This Fat Shadow Stalking Me?

[ancestry]

So my question today has to do with morning workouts. DH and I have committed to getting up early to do 30 day Shred for the 30 days. But what about water/breakfast? For all of you who work out first thing inthe morning do you eat first? If not, do you have enough energy to do the workout? Are you drinking lots of water before working out, or just during?

I also work out in the mornings but usually not the first thing in the morning. On most days my schedule is something like this:

5:30-6:00 AM - Wake Up -- GET COFFEE! lol!
6:00 - 8:00 AM - Shower, eat breakfast (high protein cereal, a piece of fruit, and a glass of water), get the kids ready and off to school
8:00 - 8:30 AM - Drive to the gym
8:30 AM - 10:30 - Work out

I can not do a full workout without eating breakfast but on the other hand I also can't workout with a completely full stomach. I usually eat breakfast around 7:30 AM and my workout starts around 8:30 AM so I have an hour where my body processes the food and water. If I try to work out immediately after eating I get very nauseated and feel like I am going to vomit.

Today, Tuesday, I work out in the afternoons because the kids have swimming lessons after school and I don't want to have to drive to the Y twice in one day as it is a fairly long drive. I don't particularly like afternoon workouts. I always have difficulty making it through an afternoon workout but don't have problems with the morning ones.

 

[mom2faith]

So, what does everyone have for goals?

I sat down and figured out a few for meL

1. 10% loss (23.5 lbs) - June 30, 2010
2. "ONE"derland (35 lbs) - August 15, 2010
3. BMI of "Overweight" (not "Obese") (39 lbs) - August 30, 2010
4. 180 lbs (55 lbs) - Oct 31, 2010
5. 160 lbs GOAL 75lbs - Jan 19, 2011 - When I leave for Hawaii!!

Anyone else figured out some mini-goals?

 

[albertamommyof4]

So, what does everyone have for goals?

I sat down and figured out a few for meL

1. 10% loss (23.5 lbs) - June 30, 2010
2. "ONE"derland (35 lbs) - August 15, 2010
3. BMI of "Overweight" (not "Obese") (39 lbs) - August 30, 2010
4. 180 lbs (55 lbs) - Oct 31, 2010
5. 160 lbs GOAL 75lbs - Jan 19, 2011 - When I leave for Hawaii!!

Anyone else figured out some mini-goals?

love your goals, haven't set much yet for me but i should really do that.
The weather here is nice , yesterday was +11 today is sunny with a little wind of course lol. I would love to get last week weather back it was in the 20's ( which is not usual, lol).

 

[tlenzendorf]

Another good day so far!

Breakfast-2 packets of Quaker Instant Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal. I have figured out that 1 packet won't work for me when you only add 1/3c water, but the ones where you add 1/2c water I can do one packet.

Snack-1 apple

Lunch-1 Activia yogurt, 1 Chicken Enchilada Suiza Lean Cuisine and 1 Sugar Free with Probiotics Jello Pudding cup

 

[tlenzendorf]

A small slip, I ate 1 Nutty Bar. Not one pack of 2, just 1. I'm not looking horribly upon myself or anything, just have to fess up and hold myself accountable! Especially since I'm sure I'll have a piece of cake this evening. We did walk at lunch today, 1.61 miles. If I walk again around dinner time I should walk off the calories of my double dessert day.

 

[adnilele]

Congratulations to everyone who lost this week!

Also, is it weird that I have never heard of an IUD before...after reading all of your encounters, I had to google it. Interesting...it sounds wonderful to not really have to worry about getting your period...I have never been on birth control, but eventually in my life, after I have kids, this seems like something worth getting!


As for goals....I hope to be down a solid ten pounds by my Disney Trip at the end of June... like ten pounds where I am working on my 11th and 12th, not where I am working on my 8th and 9th...like a lot of you, I am my lowest on Thursdays...I get so excited then so depressed when that weight is just a lie!!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Good Morning Everyone!

I will be posting the weight loss tally in a bit.

I am behind here and need to get caught up with everyone. This past weekend and this week has just been a killer.

Treyner has been battling flu like systems since the weekend and trying to get him cared for from a distance is not fun. Migraine and weak and lethargic. He went to urgent care on Sunday there and then to school nurse on Monday and another regular doc appt. Monday afternoon. Looking back he has not been feeling well on and off since he got to school in January but chalked it up to typical college late nights, poor eating and just learning to balance everything.

The urgent care took his blood sugars since diabetes is in the family and his levels were higher than they would have liked. 138 I believe. They retested on Monday also and it was elevated. He is sick though and that could play in but to be safe, they want him to have a full work up with his primary here and then depending on results see an endocrinologist if needed.

Dan flies to meet him on Sat. to drive home and I will be glad to get him back here to just have a thorough check and make sure it is nothing more than strep/mono.

He also is in the process of renting a townhouse with 1-2 other people and I have been helping him validate costs since he has never lived on his own and needs to understand that there is more than just "rent" in the cost of off campus housing. Big changes ahead and it is good, just time consuming right now.

Had appt's with my Dad Monday, Tuesday Track Meet for Baylor, tonight Rugby for Carsyn and in between all that, there is soccer practice for Baylor from 6:30-8 S,M,W and Carsyn has soccer and rugby practice almost every day as well. She usually drives herself but there is always the fun of coordinating the cars since when I need to be at my Dad's or take him anywhere, I only have one car that fits his wheelchair. We have a car that she will drive that needs new tires and just bought those so that will help.

Just busy life with 3 kids and work etc., this week just seems to have gotten away from me in organization with how much time it will take for everything. Need to delegate better.

The summer is in full swing and I need to get organized and get a new routine going for my days. I need to exercise, plan my food, get here and my TR, plus work before 3 p.m. because every time I think I have time at night, I am sorely mistaken!

The good news is I am still at the same weight! We found furniture that will be delivered tom. for the upstairs so my Dad when he moves in, he has a place to sit and I am blessed every morning I wake up to have a family to be busy with. My Dad's leg is doing great and he is now getting ready for the prosthetic process which will mean more trips to Doc's with fittings and such but I am so glad we are on our way!

Having a huge sale this weekend and oh yeah, need to get stuff marked today and tom. Supposed to rain!

Can't wait to read later all about you guys. Just please know that you all are on my mind more than i have been here this week. I think I might just cave and get a blackberry or some sort of device that I can have internet access with. That way at least during practices or sitting at doc appt's with my Dad, I can get what I need to get done for myself!!!

Miss you all so much!!!

 

[tlenzendorf]

I'm sorry life is so hectic for ya Dawn! Hopefully things will calm down soon with all the changes that are happening. Take your time and know that we'll be here for you when you get back

Oh yeah, and if you have AT&T, totally go with an iPhone! Revolutionized my life!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Dis Name Name Total Loss
Dizneydawn Dawn up.6
Grumpyyoungguy Dan -1
Stitchfan23 Heather ?
Stacybaeasm Stacy -10.1
MulanUSAF Leen -15.5
gellybean Aimee -4.2
Leash Alicia -4
MNdisneygirl Sheree -4
luvsJack Sharon -11
PixiePlanner Jessica ?
Shellabell Michelle -3.1
ski_mom Becky -8.5
eliz 991 Elizabeth up 1
ancestry Allison -18
Hanutedmansionmommna Michele -5
Duchie Barb -15.1
Anna114 Anna ?
adnilele Danielle -1.5
Mom2Faith Amy -2
tlenzendorf Tricia -1.7
CrabbyyetLovable Amy ?
albertamommyof4 Tammy -3.5
peacemickeylovers Lisa ?
njtinkmom Gina ?
GoofyWife Sue ?
LittlePeppers Jennifer Gone 3 weeks

? = no weight available for this week

Total Loss = 108.2!!!!!

I need to send out 2 more 15 pound loss pics I see!!! Anybody else need a new pic??? Again, they are sent at the 5 pound increments losses!!!

 

[Mndisneygirl]

Dawn - oh my you are busy! I'm glad to hear that your dad is doing well. I worked with a man who had a leg amputation as well, and know it's a long process!!
I bet you're dang glad you bought that ticket so Dan can get Treyner home safe!
And throw a garage sale in the mix???? Holy Hannah!
We totally understand busy lives - we sure don't expect you to be sitting in front of the computer every minute! Might I just say, I love my iphone? It's so handy to do a little reading on the DIS and short posts. Can't do the pictures though, but having the web at your fingertips while sittting watching your kids' activities is great!

After I posted a gain this week, I got on the scale this a.m. and was down - so I guess I'm shedding that water weight. I'm "working from home" today, so I can take the dog for a nice long walk and do some Wii fit in between loads of and my work email/voicemail stuff.

Going to make a little tuna salad for lunch I believe.

Have a great day everyone!!!! Keep thinking positive. I know we can do this together!!!

 

[zoegirl]

Do ya'll have room in your group for 1 more? I've been on my weight loss journey for 9 weeks and it would be wonderful to have some people to talk/celebrate/whine about weight-loss with.

about me:

First Name and Screen name: Bree/zoegirl
What your Goal Is for Fitness:I'm already pretty fit (am an avid runner), just have a hard time burning more calories than I take in.
Food that you Find Hardest to Eat in Moderation: chips of any kind...they are my weakness
Favorite Good Food for You: I love most fruits & veggies, my favorite right now is bell peppers dipped in ranch or hummus
Favorite Form of Exercise:I run, cycle, swim some, and generally stay pretty active. Finding time to exercise isn't my problem, but emotionally eating is
What Your Goal is For Yourself when you get to Skinny Island: to wear a pair of super hot jeans & a tank & feel good about myself in it.
Family: married for 11 years to Greg, have a 3 1/2 yo Lucas & last but not least a 10 yo shih tzu Zoe

I have been on WW for 9 weeks and have lost 13 lbs so far. I'm trying to lose 10 more but lately have been finding myself getting bored with the program. I would love to be a part of a weight loss thread to talk about these things.

~bree~

 

[mom2faith]

WARNING CHEESEY ALERT!!!

OK, I had to write that because I just had a huge epiphany!! I was thinking about my sister who is going through some tough times and who is having panic attacks as a result and I determined that it is because the rest of her life is out of control that she is trying to control the germs, etc that she comes in contact with (this is an entire long story that I do not want to get into, but it was the basis of my epiphany...) Anyways, so I am thinking about her and I realize, hey wait a minute that is me too! I am a huge control freak which is caused by things in my life and also hurts things in my life!

I have been thinking a lot about my teenage years, which were not horrible but there are a few things that happened that I am realizing had much more of an effect on me than I thought. For example my very first boyfriend tried to commit suicide and called me. I "saved" him by getting my mom and her friend to get the police over to his house. Two years later, while my family was a funeral this same boyfirend broke into our home and ransacked it and stole a bunch of stuff from my family. In those days you did not get counselling or anything, you just dealt with it and moved on.

Fast forward to after high school and I began dating a guy, who I stayed with for 7 years and he was not great either. There was a lot of emotional and a bit of physical abuse. But, I thought I loved him and thought I could change him. So I stayed.

Right after breaking off that relationship I started dating my DH and we got married very quickly. I love DH and he is truly the best thing that ever happened to me, but I did not allow myself time to "heal" from my previous relationships. Nor did I deal with those relationships at all.

So, from the day I graduated (when I weighed 103lbs) until the days I broke up with loser #2, I had gained about 60 lbs. Now since I married my husband I have gained another 80 lbs in 8 years!! WOW!!

This all comes back to control. I have watched myself not have control over so many things in my life and I have allowed myself to be in bad relationships and bad jobs and bad situations. Now that I am in a good job, a good relationship and a great situation, I am still self-sabotaging. I am gaining weight like a mad woman!! I have lost control over that part of my life!

Yet, during this time I have fought to be "in control" of other parts of my life and have caused a lot of stress in my marriage as a result - I want to control how the house is organized, how DH puts things away, how DD does her hair, how we spend our time, etc. I can go on and on. When really, all I want to control is me and I cannot find that ground. I cannot get control of my emotional eating. I cannot get control of my laziness. I cannot get control of me need to be "popular" and noticed (even though I do not want people to notice my weight).

I have said earlier that I do not see myself as fat, I still see myself as that skinny girl from high school and that is part of the reason I did not think I had a problem. I never really took a good look at myself. And now I realize that I have bottled up all the crappy emotions I have experience since high school and tried to forget them. I am trying to be that girl who got hurt by loser #1. I am trying to stay in that time before I got hurt and that is why I do not see that I have sabotaged myself along the way.

Wow. I feel so refreshed right now. I feel like I just took a good look at my life and I realize now what I need to do. I need to start appreciating the life I have and appreciating what I contribute to the lives around me. I need to let go of controlling others and start channelling that control into what I do for me.

Oh, and just so you do not think I completely dwell on the past, there have been a lot of crappy things happen as an n adult too: I did lose a very good friend to suicide; I have secondary infertility, etc. Lots of crap. But everyone has that. I just have to learn to deal with it without sabotaging myself.


WHEW!! I hope you are not all rolling your eyes thinking "good grief this girl is crazy!!”. I really just had one of those light bulb moments that I had to share.

Thank you for listening

 

[Mndisneygirl]

I think that it's wonderful that you figured those things out. You made me stop and think too. Thank you.
I have had to learn to let the little things go in life, focus on the good and force myself to take time to relax (I call it Mommy's time out!). Having just had such a weekend, I realize that I have a dammmm good life and I am doing ok. Likewise, I have all those little crappy things that make me crazy. Most of which are out of my control, so I'm not going to worry about that. Like other people's behaviors. I am not a patient person by nature and have a hard time listening to people (especially family/kids) tell a story that takes more than 2 minutes. You know how kids have to tell you EVERY detail? Can't stand it. I'm trying to focus on my kids, teaching them good lessons and spending time with them, rather than worry about my favorite TV show (DVR!) or going shopping etc. I want them to be healthy too, physically and emotionally. So I have to start with myself.

I am an emotional eater and those stressful days make me want to just pig out. I have to find another outlet for those emotions. Coming here is a good start.

How do you think you can handle your epiphany? Do you think you can give up some control of those things and be in control of YOU? I hope you can move forward from this point now that you realize some of the things that have been holding you back. GOOD FOR YOU!!!


I went for a walk with my dog this morning, still eating healthy. Made my tuna salad for lunch - should be enough for two days. Unfortunately did not have any light mayo, so had to use regular. Thankfully I don't like a lot of mayo. Going to spend some quality time with myself and a book out in the backyard today. Too nice of a day to be inside!!

 

[Anna114]

So I think I just had a huge AHA moment. I was up a pound this week but I admittedly have not really been dieting these last few weeks (as I posted when I told all of you I hit a dieting wall) The good news was I still managed to lose a pound, 46 to date. Today I seem to be hungrier then normal (not good since I want that last pound back before the Poly next week) So I went to the cabinet and had a snack of nachos and salsa. These are multi-grain chips I only had one serving which is 140 cals and 1 serving of carbs for me (damn diabetes) and the salsa was next to nothing. The whole point here and the aha moment making better choices and still managing to be content. To be honest my true choice would have been loaded fries but that is not an option and in the past the chips wouldn't have been mentally OK but now they are.

What's everyone's healthy snack?

 

[ancestry]

I have said earlier that I do not see myself as fat, I still see myself as that skinny girl from high school and that is part of the reason I did not think I had a problem. I never really took a good look at myself.

While your whole post made a lot of sense and really resonates with me in many ways this one sentence in particular really hits home. My "mind" knows I am way overweight. My "mind" knows that I am statistically obese but I have never seen myself as fat.

I never had a weight problem until about 6 years ago after my twins were born and a whole lot of stressful things happened in my life that I couldn't control -- i.e. my dad died when I was 6 months pregnant, I got fired, my husband lost his job 3 months later, we had to move from Pennsylvania to Maine, etc. etc.

Anyways I digress..... The point I was trying to make about not seeing myself as fat was this....about 3 weeks ago I went to a local discount/second hand store to buy myself a bunch of athletic shorts to workout in. Since they are athletic shorts (i.e. basketball style) I didn't try anything on. I figured I could guess at the size. I bought about 5 or 6 pair. When I got home NOT ONE SINGLE PAIR FIT -- not even close! And they were all so small that I seriously needed to lose probably close to 30 pounds at that point to even get into them.

The sad thing is I had picked them up really thinking that some of them were going to be lose on me. Boy is my perception of myself -- my body size -- REALLY off.

 

[mom2faith]

How do you think you can handle your epiphany? Do you think you can give up some control of those things and be in control of YOU? I hope you can move forward from this point now that you realize some of the things that have been holding you back. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Well, I have not yet decided where I am going to go from here, but I do know that my control issues need to get under control and then re-channelled to help me!

So I think I just had a huge AHA moment. I was up a pound this week but I admittedly have not really been dieting these last few weeks (as I posted when I told all of you I hit a dieting wall) The good news was I still managed to lose a pound, 46 to date. Today I seem to be hungrier then normal (not good since I want that last pound back before the Poly next week) So I went to the cabinet and had a snack of nachos and salsa. These are multi-grain chips I only had one serving which is 140 cals and 1 serving of carbs for me (damn diabetes) and the salsa was next to nothing. The whole point here and the aha moment making better choices and still managing to be content. To be honest my true choice would have been loaded fries but that is not an option and in the past the chips wouldn't have been mentally OK but now they are.

What's everyone's healthy snack?

WOW!! Everyone is having AHA moments today! Good for us!!

My Healthy snack is apples with a little bit of peanut butter. That is one of my favorites. And, if I have room in my day for the extra fat from the PB I will go for it!! YUMMY!!

While your whole post made a lot of sense and really resonates with me in many ways this one sentence in particular really hits home. My "mind" knows I am way overweight. My "mind" knows that I am statistically obese but I have never seen myself as fat.

I never had a weight problem until about 6 years ago after my twins were born and a whole lot of stressful things happened in my life that I couldn't control -- i.e. my dad died when I was 6 months pregnant, I got fired, my husband lost his job 3 months later, we had to move from Pennsylvania to Maine, etc. etc.

Anyways I digress..... The point I was trying to make about not seeing myself as fat was this....about 3 weeks ago I went to a local discount/second hand store to buy myself a bunch of athletic shorts to workout in. Since they are athletic shorts (i.e. basketball style) I didn't try anything on. I figured I could guess at the size. I bought about 5 or 6 pair. When I got home NOT ONE SINGLE PAIR FIT -- not even close! And they were all so small that I seriously needed to lose probably close to 30 pounds at that point to even get into them.

The sad thing is I had picked them up really thinking that some of them were going to be lose on me. Boy is my perception of myself -- my body size -- REALLY off.

Yup - that is me!! I remember I got some clothes from Ebay once and I help up a pair of capris and laughed at how big they were. I was joking about how I will NEVER fit into anything that big - and, you guessed it, they fit perfectly. I was heartbroken!!

So we will have to be there for each other as we obviously have the same problems being oblivious to what is happening to us.

Have a great day everyone!!

 

[2_Eagle_Mom]

Aha moments abound.

I have the complete opposite problem. I've been overweight for most of my life. I was talking to my DH the other day as we were on a walk. I really don't notice the weight that I've lost (around 55lbs total). When I look at others I try and see if I think I'm bigger than them. There were two ladies in front of us walking (one overweight and one "normal" sized one) and I said "Am I as big as she is?" (the overweight one) he was amazed that I thought I was even close to her weight. He said "you were that size about 40lbs ago" and "I was thinking you looked more like the other lady but I didn't want to say anything since I didn't want you to think that I always go around looking at ladies rears". It was an eye opening moment.

So why do I sabotage myself? I do really well for a while, then I'll be at home and cruise the kitchen. Some days I'm good about making healthy choices, but lately I just seem to be eating out of control. Not really hungry, but can't stop myself. I'm sure it is a control thing, but why if that is the one thing that I DO have control over is it the one thing that seems to control ME?

I really have the best of intentions of hitting the gym and working out, but by the time I leave work I just don't have any motivation. I wish I had a workout buddy, but I haven't been successful in getting anyone else motivated with me.

I guess I better get off the pity wagon and find some internal motivation and get moving.

 

[gellybean]

Zoegirl!
It's never too late to join!

Dawn!! Miss you!! I hope Treyner gets well soon and that it's nothing more than a common bug! Glad you're dad is progressing nicely! Looking forward to you being on here more once your life calms down (though probably not as much as you are looking forward to it! )

Powerful post this morning Amy!! WOW! I wish I could have some ephiphanies! I think I'm probably trying too hard to figure out what my issues are and need to just let it come out on its own. I watch shows like Biggest Loser and Ruby and listen to them talk about their reasons and demons and baggage and repressed memories that caused them to bury themselves in weight to protect themselves or punish themselves or whatever the reason, and I just can't figure mine out. Sure I had things happen to me but nothing tragic or life altering. Well not hugely life altering.

I think I'm just a plain ol food addict. I'm still trying to figure it all out. And am glad that I have all of you to figure it out with and come to vent it all when/if I ever do figure it out.

DH left for an overnight business trip so today's gonna either be really great or really bad foodwise. I went through McD's drive thru for breakfast this morning. Between getting hubby packed, and DS7 off to school and taking hubby to pick up a rental car for his trip, there was no time to eat breakfast and I knew he needed to eat before getting on the road. So McD's it was. I tracked it before hand and shared the McGriddle with hubby. It was about a 620 cal breakfast but it stuck with me and all I've had since is a cup of grapes. So I should still be on target for the day.

Still haven't been to the gym this week. I caught a mild case of what DS2 had and didn't dare go to the gym after that Alli story Amy shared!!

I probably won't make it today either. Sister has company in tonight and she can't go and with DH gone I'm probably just gonna enjoy my kids and work on the house.

BUT I will get back to the gym tomorrow and Friday and next week should be a 4 or 5 day week. That's my determined face.

Is anyone else having DIS issues? My screens are centered weird and it's not letting me post smilies, I'm having to type them out, the fonts and colors were gone for a while, and I can't access my User CP. Is it just me or is DIS having a bad day?

 

[mom2faith]

Aha moments abound.

I have the complete opposite problem. I've been overweight for most of my life. I was talking to my DH the other day as we were on a walk. I really don't notice the weight that I've lost (around 55lbs total). When I look at others I try and see if I think I'm bigger than them. There were two ladies in front of us walking (one overweight and one "normal" sized one) and I said "Am I as big as she is?" (the overweight one) he was amazed that I thought I was even close to her weight. He said "you were that size about 40lbs ago" and "I was thinking you looked more like the other lady but I didn't want to say anything since I didn't want you to think that I always go around looking at ladies rears". It was an eye opening moment.

So why do I sabotage myself? I do really well for a while, then I'll be at home and cruise the kitchen. Some days I'm good about making healthy choices, but lately I just seem to be eating out of control. Not really hungry, but can't stop myself. I'm sure it is a control thing, but why if that is the one thing that I DO have control over is it the one thing that seems to control ME?

I really have the best of intentions of hitting the gym and working out, but by the time I leave work I just don't have any motivation. I wish I had a workout buddy, but I haven't been successful in getting anyone else motivated with me.

I guess I better get off the pity wagon and find some internal motivation and get moving.

This statement says it all for me!! It seems so simple, so why is it taking us all so long to figure it out??

Zoegirl!
It's never too late to join!

Dawn!! Miss you!! I hope Treyner gets well soon and that it's nothing more than a common bug! Glad you're dad is progressing nicely! Looking forward to you being on here more once your life calms down (though probably not as much as you are looking forward to it! )

Powerful post this morning Amy!! WOW! I wish I could have some ephiphanies! I think I'm probably trying too hard to figure out what my issues are and need to just let it come out on its own. I watch shows like Biggest Loser and Ruby and listen to them talk about their reasons and demons and baggage and repressed memories that caused them to bury themselves in weight to protect themselves or punish themselves or whatever the reason, and I just can't figure mine out. Sure I had things happen to me but nothing tragic or life altering. Well not hugely life altering.

I think I'm just a plain ol food addict. I'm still trying to figure it all out. And am glad that I have all of you to figure it out with and come to vent it all when/if I ever do figure it out.

DH left for an overnight business trip so today's gonna either be really great or really bad foodwise. I went through McD's drive thru for breakfast this morning. Between getting hubby packed, and DS7 off to school and taking hubby to pick up a rental car for his trip, there was no time to eat breakfast and I knew he needed to eat before getting on the road. So McD's it was. I tracked it before hand and shared the McGriddle with hubby. It was about a 620 cal breakfast but it stuck with me and all I've had since is a cup of grapes. So I should still be on target for the day.

Still haven't been to the gym this week. I caught a mild case of what DS2 had and didn't dare go to the gym after that Alli story Amy shared!!

I probably won't make it today either. Sister has company in tonight and she can't go and with DH gone I'm probably just gonna enjoy my kids and work on the house.

BUT I will get back to the gym tomorrow and Friday and next week should be a 4 or 5 day week. That's my determined face.

Is anyone else having DIS issues? My screens are centered weird and it's not letting me post smilies, I'm having to type them out, the fonts and colors were gone for a while, and I can't access my User CP. Is it just me or is DIS having a bad day?

Thank you. I know a lot of people have gone through a lot worse, but I think that is my problem. I look at my past as "Well, you are better off than a lot of people so suck it up". When in reality is, big or small we have to deal with these issues. That is the biggest thing I have realized these past few weeks. Despite the fact that it was 20 years ago, and despite the fact that it was not hugely tragic, I did not deal with it and I carried it around with me. Now, it turned into weight that I carry around.

Never think that your problems are too small - they were big to you right? They had an affect on you right?

I feel the same way about Biggest Loser - like when am I going to have that AHA moment? I feel I had it today, but like I said I was not thinking about me at the time - I was thinking about my sister.

Oh, as for DIS problems. Yup, I had a whole post written up earlier that would not change font or color and would not post. I had to go out and go back into it.

Off to finish Dawns TR - if none have you have read it, go read it now (the Goofy/Lap Dance one). I have laughed and cried and laughed and cried. I cannot stop reading it!! I started this morning and am amost done. (I mean, of course I am working too)

Talk to you later.

 

[ancestry]

Aha moments abound.
So why do I sabotage myself? I do really well for a while, then I'll be at home and cruise the kitchen. Some days I'm good about making healthy choices, but lately I just seem to be eating out of control. Not really hungry, but can't stop myself. I'm sure it is a control thing, but why if that is the one thing that I DO have control over is it the one thing that seems to control ME?

This statement says it all for me!! It seems so simple, so why is it taking us all so long to figure it out??

You ladies sounds just like I did a couple of months ago. Some how I have managed to get control on the food addiction and I can (at least for now) stop myself. Although it terrifies me each and every day that I will suddenly wake up and find myself back where I was with no ability to control what I was shoving in my mouth.

I used food as medication and celebration. If I was happy I ate to celebrate. If I was sad I ate to make myself feel better. If I was stressed I ate to relieve the stress. If I was bored I ate out of the boredom. If I was procrastinating on something I ate to pass the time. It never had anything to do with hungry -- it had everything to do with self-medicating.

Alcoholism and drug abuse run in my family. I always was SO careful to stay away from alcohol and drugs out of fear that I would easily become an addict due to my genetics. Well, I did become an addict -- except it was a legal one and a somewhat socially acceptable one. I was (or should I say I am) addicted to food.

Sorry I had to delete part of what I wrote. I was bothering me that I had posted it so openly.