What would you do

[L&Lfan]

Latinos/Hispanics can be of any race. Perhaps the allegedly racist family is ok with white Latinos. I’m just responding to posters who wonder how the allegedly racist family would allow their child to be friends with a child of a “different race”.

 

[DietCoke18]

run! IMO the 14/88 is far worse then the flag. And there’s no way I’d let my kid play with theirs.

 

[kiddo76]

14/88 and Stormfront flags are signs of evil. I would not only keep my child away from that family, but I would also warn other parents about them.

 

[wenrob]

Latinos/Hispanics can be of any race. Perhaps the allegedly racist family is ok with white Latinos. I’m just responding to posters who wonder how the allegedly racist family would allow their child to be friends with a child of a “different race”.

Poor choice of words on my part. I should have said different ethnicities. People like that aren’t okay with anyone that doesn’t meet their definition of “pure” white.

 

[Jennasis]

That's gonna be a big no from me, chief.

 

[Diznygrl]

Yeah, I'd nip it in the bud right away and cut the ties. Even if they played in the park or wherever, it would inevitably lead to wanting home playdates, having to become more acquainted with the parents, etc. And the more the two girls bond, the harder it will be to sever the relationship later when it ventures into that territory.

 

[Imzadi]

Like someone else mentioned if these 2 become good friends, then there could be play dates/dinners/parties/get togethers/etc. I really don’t want it to get that far. The problem is that she keeps asking to go to her home.

They met once. It's not like the girls are BFFs. She will forget her in time. How long of a memory does a 4 year old have? Just distract her with other people and stuff to play with.

And in time, if they end up in the same class together, if the parents really are white supremacists, I wouldn't worry about them letting your DD hang out with their DD. Once they realize/learn you are Latino, they probably won't be able to return your DD fast enough and send her back to you and keep their own DD away.

I heard of 1488 but I also had to google the meaning. Very scary, especially in our neighborhood where there are many families that are mixed race.

I'm actually surprised they moved into a neighborhood so diverse. That they hadn't looked up the demographics first. And were comfortable enough to leave their garage door open, especially with the latter 2 flags mentioned, if they don't know the neighborhood demographics.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I had to look up the two other than the rebel flag. I would say to walk away from that place and those people.

 

[brockash]

So my daughter met another girl at the park the other day. They are both the same age and most likely will be going to kindergarten together next year. They played great and the mother seemed really nice. Well this morning my wife was going for a walk with my daughter. My daughter noticed the little girl from the other day and yelled for her. My wife walked her over to the home so they can play. Their garage was open and the mother was gardening. Inside the garage was a confederate flag, a storm front flag and a big poster that said 14/88. My wife pulled my daughter immediately out of there (she knew was the confederate flag was about but no idea what those other 2 things meant). Thankfully she snapped a pic with her phone to show me.

we really don’t want my daughter associating with them any more. We are Hispanic and this stuff really scares us but the girls really like each other. Should I just not bring my daughter around anymore or allow them to play. I never met the husband but the wife seems really nice.

I had no idea what the other 2 were, but yes there's no way I'd want to be associating with ppl like that. I'd let my daughter play with the kid, or really any kid at the playground; but I'd try not to talk to the parents any more than I had to and there's no way I'd ever let my kid over there.

 

[leebee]

Nope. The other parents get to profess their beliefs and bring their child up accordingly, and so do I. My kid wouldn't be going over there, and their kid wouldn't be coming to my house. These kids have ample opportunity to be "school friends" and there's nothing you can do about that. You CAN direct with whom your child associates at home. Your daughter is young enough that you can direct/control who she hangs out with at home. I would NOT be encouraging/supporting this friendship.

 

[scrump]

No.

I have personal experience as a non-white adult being harassed by white supremacists. I would never want to go through that again and will do everything possible to keep my own kids out of similar situations. You have shown an attempt to understand this family, which is decent, kind and fair but at the end of the day, we are talking about the safety of your family. Many people who own those flags do not just believe in superiority of their own race over others, but also in the physical harm of anyone unlike them.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I'm not usually one to question posts, but I found a couple things odd about the OP. How can you responsibly raise a child, if you need to ask for advice on something as obvious as whether or not you should allow your child to have a play date at the home of a white supremacist? To add to that, what white supremacist would move into a heavily multi-racial neighborhood? It annoys me, when people try to stir up controversy & others fall for it, without even considering how unlikely the scenario is.

 

[luvsJack]

I have to admit that I did have a question but hesitated to post it, not wanting anyone to turn it to me “defending” the family in question.

And please believe me that I am truly asking out of lack of knowledge here. But if the woman truly believed in the meaning behind at least two of those items, wouldn’t she have been more apt to treat the op and Dd a little differently than described? Maybe not with meanness or insults but at the very least dismissive of the op’s child?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Am I the only one who would at least want to see the Dad since I and my DD liked the little girl and the Mom so much? I would want to know what is going on there before I write them off. Good friends can be hard to come by, and it sounds like this was a natural friendship. (And I also got a strange vibe from the OP, but I'll play along anyway.) I also understand the value of having some exposure to normalcy for a child who really is stuck in a bad situation. Would I let my child go over there? Likely not if I saw bad things and also met a person I didn't care for. But I would probably still let them play at the park and have the girl to our house, if it worked out. A child shouldn't have to pay for their parents' sins, and we, as parents, don't have to be best friends as adults when our kids are friends. I would be concerned with unsecure guns and seedy people being around my DD over there if it really was what it appeared to be. But this girl could be the sweetest kid and just stuck in a bad situation.

My DD actually had a friend sort of like that. Mom let her stay overnight at our house one time without even meeting us, just dropped her off at the doorway, and left her ALL the next day without checking in while she was off with a guy somewhere; picked her up after dark. I felt sort of bad for the girl. Fast forward 15 yrs, DD ran into her somewhere recently and they hugged, and this girl excitedly suggested they get together for lunch soon. So DD texted her later, and the girl said she couldn't go because she had a class, but DD saw her posting on social media she was actually with another friend out at a restaurant. So DD wrote her off then, because she lied - but not because of her family situation.

Growing up in a difficult family situation myself I'm glad many of my friends parents always welcomed me with open arms because they'd taken the time to get to know me and knew that even as a child, I had integrity and a moral compass and they liked their kids being around me. I had one friend whose single mother worked evening shift and I was one of only two friends who was allowed in their house while she wasn't home because she trusted me. I realize times have changed with raising our kids, but I'm almost always going to give a kid the benefit of the doubt unless and until they prove themselves unworthy. That also happened to one kid we knew who was a nice kid, I thought, and DD was contemplating going out with him in HS. They were texting, and out of the blue he said some highly inappropriate things to DD. She was hurt, and he tried to say it was his friends who stole his phone and sent the texts, but she didn't feel she could trust him anymore, and that was the end of that. Kids learn from these situations and with good parental support there's no reason they can't begin to navigate them even at a young age. It sounds like these two from the OP might be classmates, will OP's DD learn to just ignore or stay away from this other child?

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

I haven't looked up 14/88 or other thing but will just agree with everybody and save the time.
As for the flag, I'd have no problem wit that.

 

[shelemm]

I have to admit that I did have a question but hesitated to post it, not wanting anyone to turn it to me “defending” the family in question.

And please believe me that I am truly asking out of lack of knowledge here. But if the woman truly believed in the meaning behind at least two of those items, wouldn’t she have been more apt to treat the op and Dd a little differently than described? Maybe not with meanness or insults but at the very least dismissive of the op’s child?

No, racists do not believe they are racist because they often profess "but I like the good ones" or "I don't hate anyone." Plantation owners didn't hate their slaves. These folks may very well treat their neighbors with respect. And still be racist.

I also think the Confederate flag has ever only meant one thing, the promotion of slavery. I have come to learn that it's the same thing with almost all the statues erected of Confederate generals or even naming schools and streets after those generals or slaveholders. Many of that was done a full fifty years after the civil war in order to show who's boss. That's why statues and schools were not named after Longstreet, the Civil War general who denounced slavery after the war. Or why a school in the pacific northwest was named after a civil war general.

 

[shelemm]

Latinos/Hispanics can be of any race. Perhaps the allegedly racist family is ok with white Latinos. I’m just responding to posters who wonder how the allegedly racist family would allow their child to be friends with a child of a “different race”.

I doubt they are okay with "white Latinos." BTW, the Mayans in Guatemala call those folks Europeans.

 

[Jdbsfw]

Confederate flag in the garage wouldn’t mean much to me but I’m white, I understand why other races would be hesitant for sure. I know what the other flags are and I wouldn’t associate with somebody like that all.

 

[C&Jx2]

That is quite the trifecta of controversial objects in that garage.

My question is bring your dd around where? To their house? To the park?
I wouldn't be setting up any play dates with them, but if you happen to be at the park and the other girl is there then I'd have no issues with them playing together.

This is how I feel too.

 

[luvsJack]

No, racists do not believe they are racist because they often profess "but I like the good ones" or "I don't hate anyone." Plantation owners didn't hate their slaves. These folks may very well treat their neighbors with respect. And still be racist.

I also think the Confederate flag has ever only meant one thing, the promotion of slavery. I have come to learn that it's the same thing with almost all the statues erected of Confederate generals or even naming schools and streets after those generals or slaveholders. Many of that was done a full fifty years after the civil war in order to show who's boss. That's why statues and schools were not named after Longstreet, the Civil War general who denounced slavery after the war. Or why a school in the pacific northwest was named after a civil war general.

Not even going to get into a discussion with you about the confederate flag but just know that for an entire region of the country, that isn’t true. No one is promoting slavery. I don’t personally have one nor would I fly one, and I get why it’s offensive to some. But it is not promoting slavery.

Now, it with those other two things, does represent something else entirely.

As for the other two items, maybe I watch too much Law and Order and such but would never think of the Arayn Nation as a group that would see a difference in the good and bad in anyone, only color. Both of those items represent some pretty extreme views.

ETA: plantation owners didn’t “hate” their slaves because they didn’t think of them as human. They didn’t view them as worthy of any emotion such as hate. They thought of them much in the same way as their livestock. So if that is how these people and their group think of people of color, I still would t think they would be friendly to anyone of a different race.