What would you do if your teen daughter became pregnant???

[Captain Brain]

My friend, 13, is pregant. I told my parents that she was and they said that she just messed up her life already. My Mom says that she will have a hard life.

 

[poohandwendy]

I disagreed that the the question "what would you do?" meant "what would you make your daughter do".

For the last darned time...that is not at all what I was saying. I meant...for the record...I meant that the damage would be done and it's too late for ''what would I do"...now it has turned into 'what will she do?' The what will I do is now...before she is pregnant. My role is to do everything in my power to prevent that from happening, before it happens. After all is said and done, then the ball is on her court. I never said it was an issue of forcing anything...or that anyone else was forcing anything.

I did not say the OPs question was a bad one or that anyones responses where bad...Only that to me...what I do now is relevant...after that happens what she does is relevant.

It was not a disagreement with the OPs question, it was not a disagreement with any other view....just the way I see it. My point of view.

Like it or not, agree or not....it was not some underhanded way to go against everyone elses personal views...that is their business. Just my point of view. One coming from being in the pregnant teens shoes. And from raising teen DDs and a teen son.

 

[chobie]

For the last darned time...that is not at all what I was saying. I meant...for the record...I meant that the damage would be done and it's too late for ''what would I do"...now it has turned into 'what will she do?' The what will I do is now...before she is pregnant. My role is to do everything in my power to prevent that from happening, before it happens. After all is said and done, then the ball is on her court.

It was not a disagreement with the OPs question, it was not a disagreement with any other view....just the way I see it. My point of view.

Like it or not, agree or not....it was not some underhanded way to go against everyone elses personal views...that is their business. Just my point of view. One coming from being in the pregnant teens shoes. And from raising teen DDs and a teen son.

OK, chill. I misinterpreted your statement. You could have just said that from the start, rather than acting like I was attacking you. Misinterpretations happen with these boards sometimes, its not personal.

 

[chobie]

My friend, 13, is pregant. I told my parents that she was and they said that she just messed up her life already. My Mom says that she will have a hard life.

Not necessarily. Even if she keeps the baby, the state will help if her parents won't and she can accomplish many things in life if she is willing to work for it, but it will be hard.

 

[poohandwendy]

OK, chill. I misinterpreted your statement. You could have just said that from the start, rather than acting like I was attacking you. Misinterpretations happen with these boards sometimes, its not personal.

I thought it was clear. If I really had a problem with the OPs question or anyone elses responses, I would have said it...in that way..."I have a problem with..."

Glad you now understand what I mean.

 

[chobie]

I thought it was clear. If I really had a problem with the OPs question or anyone elses responses, I would have said it...in that way..."I have a problem with..."

Glad you now understand what I mean.

All I could go on was what you did say which was "The question as to what I would do is irrelevant". Like you said, I can't possible know what is in your head.

Glad we all agree that one should not force a girl to do or not do something when to comes to being pregant.

 

[beckmrk04]

Becky, DH, a bathroom, and a little Air Supply!

Blech, blech. I leave for a night and this is what you come up with?

And Sylvester: Aw, who'm I kidding? You're right! I have now broadcasted my birthday plans! But, to be fair, they would have been the same either way- this year we're just hoping for a different outcome!

ETA: Repeating to myself: "I will no longer highjack threads."

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Blech, blech. I leave for a night and this is what you come up with?

And Sylvester: Aw, who'm I kidding? You're right! I have now broadcasted my birthday plans! But, to be fair, they would have been the same either way- this year we're just hoping for a different outcome!

ETA: Repeating to myself: "I will no longer highjack threads."

You'd prefer Toby? I thought Air Supply was much more appropriate for a BATHROOM kinda mood.

I dunno if SB will be back. I was checking out the animal rights thread and they may eat him alive.

 

[ChuckB]

I did not jump all over the post. She made a statement. I disagreed with it. Isn't that the point of a discussion board? Singling out a post? What is the point of the button that automatically quotes and lets you reply to an individual comment?

BTW, did you have a comment about the OP? Or did you just come to

already posted mine and was just reading some of the post, I dont need to stir and if you would have all of MY post, then YOUR last comment would have been unnecessary, as my example, you have made my point again, post a reply just not attack the poster.....

 

[chobie]

[/COLOR]already posted mine and was just reading some of the post, I dont need to stir and if you would have all of MY post, then YOUR last comment would have been unnecessary, as my example, you have made my point again, post a reply just not attack the poster.....

No you have not made a comment about the topic. You have twice come into this thread to do to me exactly what you are accusing me of: singling out and attacking a poster.

Try practicing what you preach.

BTW, the thread is called "What would you do if your teenage daughter became pregnant"

 

[Freyja]

Wow! Some really interesting answers here. Both concerning the original question, Polo´s, Air supply and the need for stiring the pot!!!

 

[ChuckB]

No you have not made a comment about the topic. You have twice come into this thread to do to me exactly what you are accusing me of: singling out and attacking a poster.

Try practicing what you preach.

BTW, the thread is called "What would you do if your teenage daughter became pregnant"

I did have a post on here, I guess when I unsubscibed from it, my post left also, I do have a daughter, so here is the basic post I put on here, if she were mine, I would support her and here decision, but right now she is only 11 and because of where we live the age group she hangs out with is 14 & 15 year olds, her only other choice is 8 & 9 year olds, so when she is not in school...., I have watched this thread from the begining, teen pregnancy is a big issue all over our nation, so there is concern in all corners, but when you badger one poster trying to make them see things your way..... so the pm you sent just made it personal, and no longer just a disagreement on an issue, and to answer you pm......

Liar and a hypocrite

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You have not posted about the topic on the teen pregnancy thread and you're doing to me exactly what you are accusing me of. When you use all caps to say things like "YOU" its the cyber equivalent to yelling at someone.


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caps are also used to insinuate, and make a point of origin or reference, " " are what makes it yelling, I may be alot of things but a liar is not one of them, sounds to me like you are the one that needs a lesson in cyber text,and I will say that if you were not in such a hurry to jump, you would have seen the apology to YOU for useing your post as an example.....

 

[chobie]

I did have a post on here, I guess when I unsubscibed from it, my post left also, I do have a daughter, so here is the basic post I put on here, if she were mine, I would support her and here decision, but right now she is only 11 and because of where we live the age group she hangs out with is 14 & 15 year olds, her only other choice is 8 & 9 year olds, so when she is not in school...., I have watched this thread from the begining, teen pregnancy is a big issue all over our nation, so there is concern in all corners, but when you badger one poster trying to make them see things your way..... so the pm you sent just made it personal, and no longer just a disagreement on an issue, and to answer you pm......

Liar and a hypocrite

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have not posted about the topic on the teen pregnancy thread and you're doing to me exactly what you are accusing me of. When you use all caps to say things like "YOU" its the cyber equivalent to yelling at someone.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

caps are also used to insinuate, and make a point of origin or reference, " " are what makes it yelling, I may be alot of things but a liar is not one of them, sounds to me like you are the one that needs a lesson in cyber text,and I will say that if you were not in such a hurry to jump, you would have seen the apology to YOU for useing your post as an example.....

Really you can make your post dissappear by unsubscribing to a thread? I did not know that. And you are the one that is badgering me. I replied to a comment and was jumped all over by the original commentor as well as your self.

And I sent you a pm because I did not want to point out in public that you were a liar and a hypocrite. I knew you would post it on here because you are trying to make an example out of me and single me out and you proved me right.

If it is true that you post about the topic dissappear when you unsubsribed then I do apologize for the liar comment.

I will reiterate that you are doing to me what you have accused me of which makes you a hypocrite.

 

[MrsPete]

Well, once the teen is pregnant, there is no GOOD answer. As difficult as it would be, I would encourage her towards adoption. Why? It's the least of the evils.

First, as a Christian, I cannot justify the idea of abortion for moral reasons. Even if you look beyond that, I knew several people in college who had abortions, and each of them had a hard time "moving on" once it was done -- one even tried to commit suicide, dropped out of school, and was generally a mess for about a year. As an adult, I know several women who still grieve over children to whom they never gave birth; they occasionally mention how old their children would've been by now and wonder if they'd have been girls or boys. It's entirely possible that some of my other friends had trouble-free abortions, and I never knew of it; however, in my experience, there's the possibility of tremendous emotional trauma.

For a young teen, keeping a baby means the end of her own childhood. The rest of her education would be more difficult, in her early career years she'd be burdened by caring for a small child, and as a teen she'd have very little to offer a child.

Going through a pregnancy and delivery would be difficult for a teen, and giving up the baby would be difficult -- I won't argue that for a moment. But at least once it was finished, she could have her life back. She could continue with school and focus on her own future. It wouldn't be problem-free, but once an unwanted teen pregnancy has occured, NO CHOICE is going to be problem-free.

I'm sure someone will say, "You'd give away your grandchild???" Again, there's not a good choice. But, yes, I would choose my child, whom I have known, nurtured, and loved for more than a decade over an unplanned baby to whom none of us have an emotional connection yet. I would choose to let her go on with her life with the least amount of disruption.

The real answer, though, is to PREVENT the pregnancy in the first place.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Wow! Some really interesting answers here. Both concerning the original question, Polo´s, Air supply and the need for stiring the pot!!!

Ya know! Where is DVCLiz when we need her?

She wanted us back on topic, and here we are. The only thing being discussed civilly is everyone's dislike of Air Supply. And that may turn ugly if I don't hear something good soon. Chuck might be a holdout. He may come through as a supporter yet.

Chuck, we'd love to hear your thoughts on Air Supply!

Otherwise, geez. If you boys can't play nice, the mods will take your toys away!

 

[chobie]

Ya know! Where is DVCLiz when we need her?

She wanted us back on topic, and here we are. The only thing being discussed civilly is everyone's dislike of Air Supply. And that may turn ugly if I don't hear something good soon. Chuck might be a holdout. He may come through as a supporter yet.

Chuck, we'd love to hear your thoughts on Air Supply!

Otherwise, geez. If you boys can't play nice, the mods will take your toys away!

I'm a girl. And I did love Air Supply back in the day if that makes you feel any better.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I'm a girl. And I did love Air Supply back in the day if that makes you feel any better.

Whoops! I'd have a red face here, if my smilies were working, which they aren't.

And you have to like Air Supply now, which you said you didn't, so unfortunately I'll still have to cry myself to sleep (after praying for Sylvester, of course). Unless maybe Chuck likes them? How 'bout it Chuck? Air Supply fan???

 

[Sylvester McBean]

I dunno if SB will be back. I was checking out the animal rights thread and they may eat him alive.

I was at Busch Gardens today riding the coasters and observing the ANIMALS. what would a lowland gorilla do if it's teenage lowland gorilla daughter became pregnant...? the world may never know.

 

[chobie]

Well, once the teen is pregnant, there is no GOOD answer. As difficult as it would be, I would encourage her towards adoption. Why? It's the least of the evils.

First, as a Christian, I cannot justify the idea of abortion for moral reasons. Even if you look beyond that, I knew several people in college who had abortions, and each of them had a hard time "moving on" once it was done -- one even tried to commit suicide, dropped out of school, and was generally a mess for about a year. As an adult, I know several women who still grieve over children to whom they never gave birth; they occasionally mention how old their children would've been by now and wonder if they'd have been girls or boys. It's entirely possible that some of my other friends had trouble-free abortions, and I never knew of it; however, in my experience, there's the possibility of tremendous emotional trauma.

For a young teen, keeping a baby means the end of her own childhood. The rest of her education would be more difficult, in her early career years she'd be burdened by caring for a small child, and as a teen she'd have very little to offer a child.

Going through a pregnancy and delivery would be difficult for a teen, and giving up the baby would be difficult -- I won't argue that for a moment. But at least once it was finished, she could have her life back. She could continue with school and focus on her own future. It wouldn't be problem-free, but once an unwanted teen pregnancy has occured, NO CHOICE is going to be problem-free.

I'm sure someone will say, "You'd give away your grandchild???" Again, there's not a good choice. But, yes, I would choose my child, whom I have known, nurtured, and loved for more than a decade over an unplanned baby to whom none of us have an emotional connection yet. I would choose to let her go on with her life with the least amount of disruption.

The real answer, though, is to PREVENT the pregnancy in the first place.

First of all you are absoloutely right about prevention being the real answer.

I'm curious, you said you are a Christian and your friends who had abortions had a hard time moving on. Where they Christians too?

I ask this because I had several friends that had abortions to and did not regret it for at all and moved on quite well. But, none of them were religious or came from religious families.

 

[DVCLiz]

Ya know! Where is DVCLiz when we need her?

She wanted us back on topic, and here we are. The only thing being discussed civilly is everyone's dislike of Air Supply. And that may turn ugly if I don't hear something good soon. Chuck might be a holdout. He may come through as a supporter yet.

Chuck, we'd love to hear your thoughts on Air Supply!

Otherwise, geez. If you boys can't play nice, the mods will take your toys away!

Here I am, and much less cranky than this morning - in fact, humming along to a little Air Supply as I type!!!!

I do like threads like this, with obvious strong opinions, and I'm glad we've been able to have such a good discussion (for the most part.) I don't often have situations in real life where I can discuss an issue with a pretty large group of people and be completely honest. It's nice to have the outlet, without having to worry about what someone might be saying about you behind your back at the grocery store - oh, wait, maybe that's what PMs are for!!

Anyway, it's been - my favorite word - interesting!!!