What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[Nancyg56]

I’m not saying it’s just b/c of vacation. I’m saying the ones I know who are selfish would be the type to stay home from vacation b/c they don’t like it & would rather do stuff they enjoy which is a they even want to do. So that’s why I immediately thought what I thought. I assumed (and shouldn’t have) that it was a dad with little kids who doesn’t want to suck up WDW (which little kids really enjoy) b/c he doesn’t like it & would send mom to do it alone. Like we all do, I was basing my opinion on things I’ve experienced & ppl I know.

I have to say I do this all if the time.

I'm also a tad sensitive because I have listened to my dh deficits in terms of his vacation style, and what that means about his feelings for our family. The commentary was nonsense and made by people who really had no idea what our realty is in our home, so they've jumped to conclusions. That bitterness shows I think, in my responses here.

 

[Colleen27]

I absolutely agree with those examples, but in MY experiences, these are the same dads who are staying home from vacation b/c they don’t like it. I don’t know that to be true of OP’s DH, of course. But, I can say that’s where my opinion of the situation is coming from. Knowing parents like this.

See, I haven't seen a close relationship between the two. Maybe it is because most of the families I know with a father like that don't really travel at all (at risk of stereotyping, I see more of that kind of "kids are women's work" thinking at lower income/education levels, which is consistent with what the previous poster said about Dad having money for cigarettes/beer but the family not having extras), but I don't associate the two attitudes at all.

 

[missbrooke06]

You've hinted twice, how about a link so that we can all be enlightened?

I assume the thread is her pre-trip report. It sounds like OP's father died fairly suddenly this year.

 

[LSUmiss]

I have to say I do this all if the time.

I'm also a tad sensitive because I have listened to my dh deficits in terms of his vacation style, and what that means about his feelings for our family. The commentary was nonsense and made by people who really had no idea what our realty is in our home, so they've jumped to conclusions. That bitterness shows I think, in my responses here.

I guess OPs post struck a nerve with me too b/c she said they kids are trying to plan fun stuff for him to make the trip something he would like. I thought that was sweet & it bothered me that dad wouldn’t be moved by that. I agree maybe trying another destination might be best. But, WDW had so much to do. I just feel like they can find something dad can enjoy. If he doesn’t like the parks then maybe agree he doesn’t go to the parks, but they do other activities before or after park time with dad.

 

[amberpi]

It’s 2 different conversations. Ppl were posting that their lives do not revolve around their kids. I said mine absolutely does & ppl commented on that as if it were a bad thing. But, then, you & others listed all the things you do for your kids so it sounds like most of our lives revolve around our kids as it should be. That’s different from my beliefs about the vacation & dad. I was thinking of small kids when I first commented. The ages do change things somewhat maybe since I don’t know the guy. Btw, I couldn’t careless about trying to “get agreement” from internet strangers. Those are my opinions/values & thankfully my family/DH share them so there is no conflict. I might have different opinions with different life experiences, but, I think it’s safe to say that’s most of us.

My parents are amazing. They were at a vast majority of my extras, but they didn't stick around for clarinet lessons for example. My dad's assistant regularly ran me and others from the car pools around. We were very loved, but my folks lives didn't revolve around us and they *gasp* went out of the country once a year without my brother and I, and every Saturday was their date night! We did WDW about once a year and the beach a couple of times a year as a family. Most of my friends with kids have outside assistance, is that bad? If I had kids, I reckon my life would be the same as my folks were and my friends are.

 

[LSUmiss]

My parents are amazing. They were at a vast majority of my extras, but they didn't stick around for clarinet lessons for example. My dad's assistant regularly ran me and others from the car pools around. We were very loved, but my folks lives didn't revolve around us and they *gasp* went out of the country once a year without my brother and I, and every Saturday was their date night! We did WDW about once a year and the beach a couple of times a year as a family. Most of my friends with kids have outside assistance, is that bad? If I had kids, I reckon my life would be the same as my folks were and my friends are.

Everyone has a right to their opinion/values, of course. And everyone’s experiences have shaped who they are & what they believe. Since you specifically asked, no I wouldn’t call any of it “bad”, but, I wouldn’t choose some of those things for my family, but that’s based on my own experiences & the values/opinions I’ve developed b/c of them. Like you said, your life is similar or would be similar to how you were raised & what your friends do. Mine would be/is the same...in that it is similar to how I was raised & how my friends & family raise their kids. But, I don’t think it’s unusual that we tend to surround ourselves with ppl with similar values/opinions as ourselves.

 

[Domo]

Tape him to the Small World Ride and make him ride over and over and over...

 

[WorldWacky]

Hello everyone! I have a dilemma and I need suggestions...

My husband has informed me he hates going to Disney World and never wants to go back. He said we can go without him. This of course upset the kids. They really want him to go with us and thought if we planned fun stuff for him to do while we are at the parks maybe he will go. I have no idea what to plan for him. He likes hunting and cars. Those are his hobbies. I wish he golfed because that would be a no brainer. I told the kids we can go to the beach and to the space center, I think those would be things he would do, maybe even go fishing...but I have no idea what else to suggest for him.

Does anyone have experience with this? I would really like my husband to come with us but I am ok just taking the kids but they really want him to go. I was hoping that would be enough to convince him but I don't think it will be. Thanks for your help!

Getting back to your original post asking for suggestions, do you think your husband might enjoy camping at Fort Wilderness? He could stay back at the campsite or cabin, enjoying the quiet nature and you and the kids could be off in the parks. If he’s a hunter, he might enjoy just being out of the parks, chilling in his chair with a cold beer. But then you could be together for certain dinner reservations or just a nice meal back at the campsite. I know my husband has just about had it with the hectic parks and says next time, he’d just like to go to the campground and stay behind while we run around doing our crazy park touring.
I hope it all works out for you. I know you’ve had a rough go if it lately and need a nice family vacation. : )

 

[Wishing on a star]

I assume the thread is her pre-trip report. It sounds like OP's father died fairly suddenly this year.

Yes, you did find the recent post I was reading.
You guessed correctly...
She did lose her father.
I am thinking that her love of Disney began with trips with her mother/parents.
And, did she mention having DVC?

 

[LSUmiss]

Yes, you did find the recent post I was reading.
You guessed correctly...
She did lose her father.
I am thinking that her love of Disney began with trips with her mother/parents.
And, did she mention having DVC?

That’s what I was wondering too if she has DVC so it’s a big deal to her that this was a family investment for them that he now hates. And if her dad just died, speaking from experience, it can absolutely change how your view things like family time.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I think so too....
I am going to venture a guess that, for the OP, there is a lot of emotional and psychological entwinement with 'Family' and with 'Disney'.
If that is going on, then maybe sorting it all out, and realizing that one cannot really force those kinds of expectation on others, such as her DH, might help.

It sounds like he reached a point where he kind of felt he had to put his foot down and make some strong statements regarding 'NO more WDW'....
He probably does not realize, at all, how this is really hitting her in all the wrong ways, right at this time.

Acknowledging feelings, and some real compromise, can often go a long way!!!!

 

[wgeo]

I really don't understand the DIS - this thread is the reason I have to take breaks. Any attempt at trying to figure out what may be going on or a middle ground or providing any kind of actual help or advice are drowned out by extreme positions on each side with people trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. I am amazed (but I probably shouldn't be) how the same people seem to gang up on another group of people to tell them that they're horrible or have stupid ideas. The OP posted, has never come back, leaving EVERYONE to be guessing as to the true extremely personal nature of the relationships in their family and yet so many posters have decided that their interpretation is absolutely right, and everyone else is parenting wrong. Sheesh

Have we lost the ability to see any kind of middle ground anymore?

Maybe the kids are selfish - maybe the dad is selfish. To speak truth to either side in that argument is really a joke because NO ONE knows - other than perhaps the OP - and for whatever reason, she's not coming back to shed further light. When will we realize that we may not actually have all the answers, and just because something was true in your life for your specific situation does not make it true for every other person in the world?

*sorry, steps off soapbox*

 

[Hikergirl]

I really don't understand the DIS - this thread is the reason I have to take breaks. Any attempt at trying to figure out what may be going on or a middle ground or providing any kind of actual help or advice are drowned out by extreme positions on each side with people trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. I am amazed (but I probably shouldn't be) how the same people seem to gang up on another group of people to tell them that they're horrible or have stupid ideas. The OP posted, has never come back, leaving EVERYONE to be guessing as to the true extremely personal nature of the relationships in their family and yet so many posters have decided that their interpretation is absolutely right, and everyone else is parenting wrong. Sheesh

Have we lost the ability to see any kind of middle ground anymore?

Maybe the kids are selfish - maybe the dad is selfish. To speak truth to either side in that argument is really a joke because NO ONE knows - other than perhaps the OP - and for whatever reason, she's not coming back to shed further light. When will we realize that we may not actually have all the answers, and just because something was true in your life for your specific situation does not make it true for every other person in the world?

*sorry, steps off soapbox*

Hmm, the OP asked for suggestions on a message board made up of people with all kind of opinions. All kinds of answers should be expected, and all we have to go on is what the OP has posted. She chose to leave out some info, so it is only natural for the discussion to progress and branch off to the "what ifs" we assume when we don't get all the info. You really shouldn't be surprised at all, that is how discussion boards usually work.
Ad far as seeing any middle ground, I think it has been suggested that the OP, her dh and kids find another destination to go to all together, and OP and her kids go to WDW on their own. That seems as middle as you can get in a situation like this.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Tape him to the Small World Ride and make him ride over and over and over...

Brilliant!!!

Because THIS, would make the rest of the trip seem marvelous by comparison!!

 

[amberpi]

Everyone has a right to their opinion/values, of course. And everyone’s experiences have shaped who they are & what they believe. Since you specifically asked, no I wouldn’t call any of it “bad”, but, I wouldn’t choose some of those things for my family, but that’s based on my own experiences & the values/opinions I’ve developed b/c of them. Like you said, your life is similar or would be similar to how you were raised & what your friends do. Mine would be/is the same...in that it is similar to how I was raised & how my friends & family raise their kids. But, I don’t think it’s unusual that we tend to surround ourselves with ppl with similar values/opinions as ourselves.

I get what you're saying, but I wasn't being serious asking if it was "bad" - it seems balanced to me. I can't imagine a life were the parents didn't have their own adult life. To *me* that'd be odd. Do you not have a weekly or twice weekly adult night (usually a date night and then a night mom goes out and a different night dad goes out)? Most households I know - the kids don't run the joint...the parents (and cats do)...lol.

 

[amberpi]

Tape him to the Small World Ride and make him ride over and over and over...

Domo, I love IASW, and even I know this is a form of S&M that we can't talk about on the Dis.

 

[LSUmiss]

I get what you're saying, but I wasn't being serious asking if it was "bad" - it seems balanced to me. I can't imagine a life were the parents didn't have their own adult life. To *me* that'd be odd. Do you not have a weekly or twice weekly adult night (usually a date night and then a night mom goes out and a different night dad goes out)? Most households I know - the kids don't run the joint...the parents (and cats do)...lol.

We do have nights/days that DS stays with grandma or someone else. But, they’re not really scheduled or weekly. It’s more certain times of yr. DS is young so our time to ourselves is mostly once we put him to bed so we get that time every day. But, we don’t have separate nights for each of us, but it works out that we share most interests so when DS is with someone else we go somewhere together. We have the same friends so it’s works out that way even when we visit friends.

 

[mefordis]

OP: I haven't read the entire thread but how many times have you been to WDW? The number of people who enjoy going to WDW over and over again are small. We are odd that way. I can't blame him if you have gone several times and just doesn't want to go back. Unless you love it like we do, it just wouldn't hold the appeal. If he's willing to go anywhere else, it just means he's tired of WDW. I'd just be happy you an go with the kids and he's not saying no to that.

 

[wgeo]

Hmm, the OP asked for suggestions on a message board made up of people with all kind of opinions. All kinds of answers should be expected, and all we have to go on is what the OP has posted. She chose to leave out some info, so it is only natural for the discussion to progress and branch off to the "what ifs" we assume when we don't get all the info. You really shouldn't be surprised at all, that is how discussion boards usually work.
Ad far as seeing any middle ground, I think it has been suggested that the OP, her dh and kids find another destination to go to all together, and OP and her kids go to WDW on their own. That seems as middle as you can get in a situation like this.

Thanks for being condescending and telling me what I should and shouldn't be surprised at, lol. I will continue to be disappointed by people who assume that their version of things are better or more experienced/right than others. So yes I will keep hoping for better for humanity, wishing that people would be more understanding of other people's opinions, instead of instantly reading something and trying to prove someone else wrong. FWIW I frequent other boards where people actually communicate and listen to others opinions - so this type of behaviour sticks out to me because of how pronounced it is on this particular forum.

 

[Hikergirl]

Thanks for being condescending and telling me what I should and shouldn't be surprised at, lol. I will continue to be disappointed by people who assume that their version of things are better or more experienced/right than others. So yes I will keep hoping for better for humanity, wishing that people would be more understanding of other people's opinions, instead of instantly reading something and trying to prove someone else wrong. FWIW I frequent other boards where people actually communicate and listen to others opinions - so this type of behaviour sticks out to me because of how pronounced it is on this particular forum.

You've been a member since 2011 and you are still surprised at how threads go here? By now you shouldn't be.