what not to do as a parent.

[Madison'smommy]

I am actually shocked at this thread! I don't go in the bathroom stall with my child, and depending on the suituation, I would let my child go in the bathroom while I was close by outside of it. But, I absolutly would NOT let my kid walk around LOOKING for a bathroom etc... I am shocked at how many people do that. None of the parents I know do that, so I guess it never really crossed my mind to send DD on her way to go find one. I dunno... and I absolutly don't think I am hindering my child in any way by keeping an eye on her when we are in public.

 

[RMulieri]

Way to judge someone on a 60 second snapshot you saw in the park.

 

[katoot]

It all depends on the parent's upbringing and culture.

When I first came to Korea, I was shocked to see early elementary aged student riding city buses by themselves. Then again, many of them attend after school academies until close to 10pm. Some of them are picked up by parents afterwards, most take an academy bus home, some walk home.

After living here for 3 1/2 years, I see no problem with it anymore.

Like has been mentioned before, only we know what's best for our own kids. That does not necessarily mean we know what is best for others.

 

[Alesia]

Ok....I understand your point of view but what more to the story is there to know? Seriously. The kid she saw appeared to be 7 years old.....it's not that hard to guess a childs age, especially when you have one similar in age. She personally saw with her own eyes, this "7 year old" go to the bathroom, at disney, alone. What other part of this situation would be the whole story? For the infant.....again, she saw personally with her own eyes a mom feeding her infant popcorn. What other part of this situation would be the whole story? I just don't get it. Some people don't care what others do, and that's perfectly fine....however other people do care and that's perfectly fine too. For me, one of my childrens basic need is also to keep them safe and I believe it's not safe sending a 7 year old to the bathroom alone at disney and it's certainly not safe feeding an infant popcorn. If you do, then that's on you but don't wonder why other parents think your choices aren't the best. I'm not fully directing this post towards you because there's others here who feel the same way as you so please don't think I'm ganging up on you.

There could be a lot more to the story:

• My daughter is 11 but is constantly being mistaken for 7 or 8. It's absolutely impossible to accurately judge the age of a child my just looking at them.
• They may be regular visitors. It may not be appropriate to send a child to the bathroom on their own in an unfamilliar place, but what if they're there every week?
• We have no idea how old the "infant" is. I have seen people on here refer to a 2 1/2 year old as an "infant."
• It's absolutely impossible to know anything about a person by observing them for a minute or two. It's even less possible to know anything about someone based on a brief account written by someone else.

I am actually shocked at this thread! I don't go in the bathroom stall with my child, and depending on the suituation, I would let my child go in the bathroom while I was close by outside of it. But, I absolutly would NOT let my kid walk around LOOKING for a bathroom etc... I am shocked at how many people do that. None of the parents I know do that, so I guess it never really crossed my mind to send DD on her way to go find one. I dunno... and I absolutly don't think I am hindering my child in any way by keeping an eye on her when we are in public.

Who said anything about wandering around LOOKING for a bathroom? I think you're jumping to a lot of conclusions.

 

[Jessica14]

Isn't this really about the Mom not wanting to give up her parade spot that she was holding for her family? My DS7 goes into the men's room by himself most places, but he wouldn't be searching out a bathroom by himself. He would not have a clue how to get there or back in Disneyworld. I think she just didn't want to lose her spot.
Jessica

 

[princessmom29]

Isn't this really about the Mom not wanting to give up her parade spot that she was holding for her family? My DS7 goes into the men's room by himself most places, but he wouldn't be searching out a bathroom by himself. He would not have a clue how to get there or back in Disneyworld. I think she just didn't want to lose her spot.
Jessica

But you cannot assume everyone's kid would be completely lost if sent to the bathroom on Main St. Mine would absoultely know how to get there and back. We have been enough that she knows her way around. She would WANT me to to just send her and save our sopt and I wouldn't hesitate to do so. You just cannot judge based on a 3 second snapshot. If it was our first time there and she didn't know where the restroom was, of course I would show her but we cannot assume that is the case here. I tend to beleive that they had been enough to be comfortable and the 7 year old knew where the RR was.

 

[mjkacmom]

The boy told us he was 7. The bathroom was no where close by. The baby was under 1.

Where were you sitting that there wasn't a bathroom close by? WDW seems to have bathrooms everywhere!

 

[Colleen27]

I hesitate to judge based on how old a child looks. My 10yo is frequently mistaken for 2-3 years younger than she is just based on the fact that she's small for her age and dresses "young" compared to her peers (partly because she's in a girls' size 8 while many of her friends are starting to shop the juniors dept).

Now, popcorn for an infant is a bad idea if the baby is really an infant, but again I wouldn't necessarily think I could guess a little one's age based on size alone. My youngest is only 36"/27# at 3yo; she's going to be in a car seat forever at this rate! There were probably observers who judged us harshly for the treats we allowed her on our past trips because if you saw her in her stroller/sitting still (like when waiting for a parade) you likely wouldn't have any hint as to her age.

And on the flip side... My son has been 95th percentile since birth and I cannot count how many times we overheard strangers comment on how he was "too old" to be doing something completely age-appropriate because people assumed him to be older than he really was. Like when he was a 48" 5yo coming in the ladies room with me...

 

[Colleen27]

Isn't this really about the Mom not wanting to give up her parade spot that she was holding for her family? My DS7 goes into the men's room by himself most places, but he wouldn't be searching out a bathroom by himself. He would not have a clue how to get there or back in Disneyworld. I think she just didn't want to lose her spot.

But again, from a snapshot in a park you don't know anything about the family. You don't know if they're first time or occasional visitors to whom the parks are relatively unfamiliar (as the judgmental are assuming) or if they're locals, DVC members, or annual passholders who have spent so much time in the parks that even the kids know their way around well.

 

[NotUrsula]

...
And on the flip side... My son has been 95th percentile since birth and I cannot count how many times we overheard strangers comment on how he was "too old" to be doing something completely age-appropriate because people assumed him to be older than he really was. Like when he was a 48" 5yo coming in the ladies room with me...

My grand-nephew is now 5'8" and #160-- he will turn 8 next month. At age 3 he was about 47" tall, and at the time my niece got really sick of all of the well-meaning strangers who decided that he must be developmentally disabled. He was a completely normal 3 yo, but people expected him to be at least 7. Right now he's 4 inches shorter and 20 lbs heavier than my 14 yo, and DS is not exactly small for his age.

On this topic, am I the only one who just cannot believe the CDC's numbers on average height these days? According the latest chart (2006), the average height for a man in his 20's is still a smidge under 5'9". That seems really low to me based on what I've been observing, although maybe we just hang out with freakishly tall people. DH was telling me the other day that he feels like he is shrinking, because every year the newer guys being hired seem taller and taller; that 25 years ago when he started working he was usually among the tallest in the room at 6', but that now most of the time when he is in a meeting there are a half a dozen guys who are noticeably taller than he is. At my DS' high school the short kids are the ones that you notice. DS14 is 6', and he says that very few of his male classmates are noticeably shorter than he is. (Males in my family do tend to be a bit tall for their ethnic group; my dad was 5'11" and my brother was 6'1", but I have a couple of younger male second cousins on that side who are 6'5".)

 

[kt_mom]

Where were you sitting that there wasn't a bathroom close by? WDW seems to have bathrooms everywhere!

I agree with this, but I think its a relative thing. One persons idea of nearby may be totally different than someone else's.

That being said, I would probably let DD8 go to the restroom while we saved parade seats, but I doubt that she would want to go alone so I would probably have to go with her. Which is fine. I would have made her wait until her dad got back to save the parade seats though

As far as the baby with the popcorn maybe the child was older than they thought. I know DS ate tons of popcorn on our last trip. He just loved it. He was 14 months in October but someone could have mistaken him for younger.

 

[kohlby]

My kids have had popcorn young, but I break off small pieces. I'm not going to judge if a parent is giving their baby popcorn. I admit I'll have trouble not judging if the parent is giving a bottle of soda to a baby. As for the 7 year old finding a bathroom, I think it's fine. It would not be a good idea with my oldest since he gets lost very, very easily. But if I knew where there was one, then telling him where to go and going by himself would be fine. Some kids can handle finding one at 7, some cannot. If her child couldn't, and I'd wager a guess that most 7 year olds would get confused looking for one at Disney, then it doesn't make her a terrible parent. It makes her not understanding what her child is capable of. Not a big deal. She'd learn after just once.

When we first started letting ODS go to the bathroom by himself or go across the store to get an item I forgot, his pride was amazing. It helps kids confidence to know they can handle things by themselves. (ODS is 8 years old now, so I do remember 7!)

 

[ccgirl]

The boy told us he was 7. The bathroom was no where close by. The baby was under 1.

So, the boy just came right up to you and told you his age? Did you ask the mom how old the baby was?

What not to do as a parent is think your way is the only way. Is to understand not children are created equal. What not to do as a parent is to judge other parents. My son had many teeth by the age of 1 and was quite capable of eating popcorn. I realize that is not the case with all children and would think nothing of it if a parent refused to let their child eat it. I like to mind my own business and only worry about my children. Of course, if I saw someone abduct a child and the like I would step in. Otherwise, let parents be parents and do what they think is best of THEIR child.

 

[fireflymedic]

what I want to know is did the kid came back after the bathroom trip? If so sounds like the mom might have known what she was doing.

 

[Jey12]

The boy told us he was 7. The bathroom was no where close by. The baby was under 1.

Why were you talking to this child? Unless a kid obviously looks lost I'm not going to go up to a stranger's child and start asking them information like this. Let me toss out this scenario. If I were at WDW and saw a 7 year old get up and head to the bathroom by himself and then saw a complete stranger ask him his age, I would be keeping my eye on you, not the kid. I'm going to assume you were sitting next to them at the parade and struck up a conversation to get this information though, and that you weren't just hanging around asking kids their ages.

DD is 5 and about to turn 6 soon. She looks 4 somedays due to her size and other days she looks 7 or 8 due to what she's wearing and how well she speaks. She thinks she's 40. I think she's in her 50's and getting ready to start menopause. I wouldn't have let her go into the bathroom alone on our recent trip last month, but that was because it was our first trip, she wasn't familiar with the park and IMO 5 is too young to walk off from the group to go potty. Now if she was 7 and had been to WDW a few times I would strongly consider letting her go by herself. Even at the age of 5 she gets to go into the stall by herself and in some bathrooms at the parks that can be quite a distance from where I am in the same bathroom.

I'm confused about the popcorn being so awful. Was the baby being handed the entire kernel with the seed still attached? You never did state if mom was pinching off the popped part or not? I agree that's a bad idea to hand an infant an entire piece of pop corn, but I don't see anything wrong with giving them the soft part of it. When DD was 8 months or so I would pinch off the popped part for her to chew at.

DD5 has been playing outside, alone in our backyard since she turned 5. I do have her take our dogs outside with her, because I figure if someone comes up to the fence they'll bark. Also not sure who would walk into a yard after a kid playing with a german shepherd and rottweiler? I know the thought of that sometimes bothers some parents. I mean she could climb a tree, scale over to the power lines and try to tight walk across them, right? There's also the chance of alien abduction, but we take our chances with that one.

Of all of the things I've seen parents do I just don't see where letting a 7 year old go to the restroom at WDW as something to write home, or on the DIS about. When we were there just over a month ago I saw a father grab his son, maybe around the age of 6, by the head and scream into his face that he would eat before riding haunted mansion. There was so much anger and intended violence in the voice of the father I had a pit in my stomach just walking by. Now that is what NOT to do as a parent, or human.

 

[BBandDisney]

 

[DopeyDame]

BBandDisney, LOVE that you used the popcorn character in this thread, of all threads.

As for the issue at hand... I can totally understand that some 7 years olds - weather because of lack of opportunity or just their personality - wouldn't be ready to go to the bathroom alone. But to say that a grade school kid going to the bathroom without a parent is "what NOT to do as a parent"??? That's WAY overstating the situation. Like a PP mentioned, the Disney rule is that you have to be 7 to be alone in the parks. Clearly many 7 year olds can, in fact, handle themselves for a few minutes to go to the bathroom.
(I can't imagine what some of you would think of my family, where it was a family tradition to fly by ourselves to grandma's house when we were 5!)

OP, it's time to realize that not all parents share your perspective on the proper way to raise a child, and unless the kid is in ACTUAL danger (not just perceived and imagined danger) you should probably just mind your own business.

 

[ccgirl]

Why were you talking to this child? Unless a kid obviously looks lost I'm not going to go up to a stranger's child and start asking them information like this. Let me toss out this scenario. If I were at WDW and saw a 7 year old get up and head to the bathroom by himself and then saw a complete stranger ask him his age, I would be keeping my eye on you, not the kid. I'm going to assume you were sitting next to them at the parade and struck up a conversation to get this information though, and that you weren't just hanging around asking kids their ages.

DD is 5 and about to turn 6 soon. She looks 4 somedays due to her size and other days she looks 7 or 8 due to what she's wearing and how well she speaks. She thinks she's 40. I think she's in her 50's and getting ready to start menopause. I wouldn't have let her go into the bathroom alone on our recent trip last month, but that was because it was our first trip, she wasn't familiar with the park and IMO 5 is too young to walk off from the group to go potty. Now if she was 7 and had been to WDW a few times I would strongly consider letting her go by herself. Even at the age of 5 she gets to go into the stall by herself and in some bathrooms at the parks that can be quite a distance from where I am in the same bathroom.

I'm confused about the popcorn being so awful. Was the baby being handed the entire kernel with the seed still attached? You never did state if mom was pinching off the popped part or not? I agree that's a bad idea to hand an infant an entire piece of pop corn, but I don't see anything wrong with giving them the soft part of it. When DD was 8 months or so I would pinch off the popped part for her to chew at.

DD5 has been playing outside, alone in our backyard since she turned 5. I do have her take our dogs outside with her, because I figure if someone comes up to the fence they'll bark. Also not sure who would walk into a yard after a kid playing with a german shepherd and rottweiler? I know the thought of that sometimes bothers some parents. I mean she could climb a tree, scale over to the power lines and try to tight walk across them, right? There's also the chance of alien abduction, but we take our chances with that one.

Of all of the things I've seen parents do I just don't see where letting a 7 year old go to the restroom at WDW as something to write home, or on the DIS about. When we were there just over a month ago I saw a father grab his son, maybe around the age of 6, by the head and scream into his face that he would eat before riding haunted mansion. There was so much anger and intended violence in the voice of the father I had a pit in my stomach just walking by. Now that is what NOT to do as a parent, or human.

Totally agree.
And, my DD is very similar to your DD.

 

[Bob NC]

Saw a mom send her 7 year old to find a bathroom by himself while she sits and watches the parade. She is also feeding her infant popcorn. Needless to say when the dad returned and his son was missing he went to find him. Hope the Dad never leaves the kids with the mom again.

Was watching all this really better than watching the parade?

 

[Alesia]

Was watching all this really better than watching the parade?

Of course it is! Making snap judgements based on little to no information is the official sport of the disboards. It would probably be even more popular if we could come up with a catchier name. Maybe armchair parenting?