What is your favorite Jungle Cruise joke?

[catne]

"...named after the famous Dr. Albert...Falls."

oh yeah! That one got me & DH laughing so hard the CM bowed to thank us for appreciating the humor (we were riding with a bunch of people who apparently didn't speak English or had no sense of humor at all...no one was laughing except us!)

 

[mom2nji]

If you loved this cruise my name is Sara (I cant remember what her real name is), if not my name is Ashley Tisdale and this was HSM3.


Unattended children will be placed as part of Its a Small World, ...

 

[staugielady]

The CM we had last Sunday was a girl who had a British accent (although her name tag said she was from Orlando??), and she picked a little girl to be her assistant captain. She asked the little girl her name and it was something unusual, so she said "Well I can't pronounce that, so from now on for eternity you are to be known as Little Susie." and she called her that throughout the rest of the ride.

She was also picking on my husband the whole ride (who was LOVING it btw) and at the end she gave out honorary captain cards to "Little Susie" and gave one to my husband and said in a sexy, breathy voice "My number is on the back..." DH proceeded to hand it to me...

 

[J3nn78]

Our last JC was the best ever. The captain let my DS3 "drive" DS had a blast and the captain used his bad driving for a few jokes too.

When we went in the tunnel, he started singing "Its a small world" in a really high pitched creepy voice. It was hysterical.

THen he asked if anyone new what was at the end of the tunnel and after a few answers he replied "Who are you kidding, this is Disney World. THere is a gift shop at the end."

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

The CM we had last Sunday was a girl who had a British accent (although her name tag said she was from Orlando??), and she picked a little girl to be her assistant captain. She asked the little girl her name and it was something unusual, so she said "Well I can't pronounce that, so from now on for eternity you are to be known as Little Susie." and she called her that throughout the rest of the ride.

She was also picking on my husband the whole ride (who was LOVING it btw) and at the end she gave out honorary captain cards to "Little Susie" and gave one to my husband and said in a sexy, breathy voice "My number is on the back..." DH proceeded to hand it to me...

We had her, too! My DNiece (on her first trip to WDW) was sitting right next to where the skipper stands. We got to the snakes and she said something to the effect of "Don't worry, they'll only attack if you're wearing pink." DNiece was in her hot pink "My first trip to Walt Disney World" shirt. She got this look in her eyes that was hysterical. Then she realized it was a joke. She was the skipper's pet throughout the rest of the ride. It was the last thing we did before we left the park and headed home. Fun way to end the trip.

 

[Carnator]

"Awww, look at the lions tickling that zebra with their noses"

A couple of weeks ago as we were getting out of the boat the skipper asked dd "are you going to go see Mickey today?" When she answered yes, he says "tell him Brian (pointing to himself) wants a raise".

 

[KorieDWnut]

"Awww, look at the lions tickling that zebra with their noses"

A couple of weeks ago as we were getting out of the boat the skipper asked dd "are you going to go see Mickey today?" When she answered yes, he says "tell him Brian (pointing to himself) wants a raise".

rofl. I love that one!

 

[DonaldTDuck]

upon disembarking, "bye now, bye now... by now you should be off my boat!

Does anyone know any now famous comedians who are ex Jungle Cruise skippers? ROBO, can you answer that one?

Ron Nesson, Nixon's Press Secretary, was a JC skipper in the late 50's. While he didn't set out to be a stand up comic, the last year of Nixon's term made many of the things he said hilarious.

I think there is a movie out there somewhere that plays in Disneyland, hosted by Steve Martin that confirms him working in the Magic Shop...don't remember which one, may have been "One Man's Dream"

The movie is Disneyland -- The First 50 Magical Years. The movie is on the history of Disneyland and stars Walt Disney, Steve Martin, and Donald Duck. They touch on his work at The Magic Shop.
BTW I rode JC at DL in 1961, and there were few jokes and more adventure. It was great anyway.

Here's a web site with tons of JC jokes and stuff.

http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~yoda/jungle.htm

 

[airman]

The backside of water, gets me everytime. I even have a pin of the backside of water.

 

[Buzz Litebeer]

The only one I ever heard about was supposedly Steve Martin, but I've since seen references that say that is not true. disneyworldtrivia.com says he did work at the Magic Shop in Disneyland though. Is there someone else?

Steve Martin got his first job at Disneyland, I believe, selling souvenir programs. When he was older he worked in the Main Street Magic Shop, demonstrating tricks and honing his comic delivery (which he says he learned by watching Wally Boag). Nowhere does it say he worked at the Jungle Cruise.

I have been told that Robin Williams was a former Disneyland skipper. However, he was supposedly asked to leave after a few days because his trips -- which should only take 10 minutes -- were taking 45 as he'd stop at each scene and riff on it.

 

[seashoreCM]

The pink birds are known as Plasticus Stilticus. They fly up from central Florida to spend the summer in Maine. From beak to tail they can grow to between 18 inches and one and a half feet.

Several years ago I took a tour called "Cave of the Winds" at Niagara Falls. A real view of the back side of water.

 

[jenjersnap]

<---- My username is a pun on a fave JC joke.

 

[planitdad]

Steve Martin got his first job at Disneyland, I believe, selling souvenir programs. When he was older he worked in the Main Street Magic Shop, demonstrating tricks and honing his comic delivery (which he says he learned by watching Wally Boag). Nowhere does it say he worked at the Jungle Cruise.

I have been told that Robin Williams was a former Disneyland skipper. However, he was supposedly asked to leave after a few days because his trips -- which should only take 10 minutes -- were taking 45 as he'd stop at each scene and riff on it.

Bingo! Robin Williams. Have heard the Steve Martin rumors too, knew that would throw some off track. Not quite sure if Robin Williams really was a skipper, but he is the one I had in mind. I haven't heard it debunked.

 

[duffy]

On our last ride, a passenger tried making a call on her cell phone. The skipper was aghast. "You...are on...the world-famous Jungle Cruise...and YOU...ARE...TALKING...ON THE PHONE??! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!"

The poor lady didn't get it and her attitude was like: "Yeah, so what? Mind your own business!" She didn't "get" the ride at all!

Meanwhile, we were hysterical.

 

[Jcon]

I had one skipper who was particularly snarky and very goone one trip. As we were going past the butterfly his quip was

"These are the amazing amazonian butterflies which can ONLY be found in the deepest regions of South America or in the Disney gift shop for $49.95"

We got that one but then he finished with:

"Or $12 at Wal-mart!"

I laughed.

 

[softball chick]

At the end of the ride they said something like:
"Don't forget to take your children. Any children left on the boat will be take to It's a Small World, have their feet glued to the floor and be forced to sing the theme song over and over again in different languages for the rest of their lives."

 

[PrincessKara22]

"Sir, where are you from?"
"Atlanta."
"I'm sorry?"
"ATLANTA!"
"No, I mean I'm sorry!

 

[mrzero]

"Number 1 rule of the jungle...don't be a zebra!" First heard that in DL and also last year at MK. The same CM last year while going through the temple with the lights out started singing a soft, haunting version of the Pirates song that the child Elizabeth sings at the beginning of the first Pirates movie. I don't really think anyone else on the boat got it like I did but I was loving it.

 

[tkitty]

I love these! I'm getting a good laugh JC is in my top three all time favorites. Brings back so many years of fond JC moments.
Wish I could think of more! Like the part where the natives are being chased up the pole by the Rhino...
If you don't "get it", you don't belong at Disney!

 

[Robo]

From the days, years ago, when the guns and hippos went together...

Look! Rare, beautiful, majestic hippos! Endangered species, less than 300 left in the wild. I think I'll shoot me a couple. [bang, bang]