What is your favorite Jungle Cruise joke?

[thecapells]

You are missing some classics:

"The elephants are bathing. Don't be embarrassed - they all have their TRUNKS on"

and how about the one about the first attempt at the monorail when pointing to the ruins of a bridge. That always cracks me up.

 

[skater]

Do you guys want to know something sad...for all the years we've been never realized that ride until 2 years ago!!! We thought the ride was great. I read on these boards the other day about an apparent skipper that really was "bad talking" Disney. I have to say the last 2 times we rode it I don't think they said anything bad-very comical!!!! Sorry, only riding it 2 times I don't remember any specific comments. They did get my son good...he's only 8 & doesn't like water splashed on him-so when we were going around the elephants he jumped down into the boat & the skipper made some remark about everyone being scared like him-it was quite funny-although my son didn't seem to think it was as funny as the rest of us!!!!

On our recent trip, we did hear some "negative" Disney talk, but having a sense of humor (even about WDW) doesn't bother me. I doubt this would have happened on Walt's watch though .

 

[shelemm]

I have record from the late sixties (DL recording not WDW) that has the Enchanted Tiki Room on one side and the Jungle Cruise on the other, with the JC being performed by Thurl Ravenscroft (sp?) who's voiced Tony the Tigers- sang the "Grinch" song, and also can be heard in the Haunted Mansion.

Wow, that must be a pretty rare recording by now. Does it have the gun going off for JC? They used to fire a gun at the charging hippos.... hmmm, charging hippos, there must be a joke in there somewhere.....

 

[skier_pete]

Wow, that must be a pretty rare recording by now. Does it have the gun going off for JC? They used to fire a gun at the charging hippos.... hmmm, charging hippos, there must be a joke in there somewhere.....

It's too bad the album cover is completely falling apart - it would probably be worth a pretty penny in mint condition. I also have an IaSW record that is about in the same condition.

But Yup...he definitely fires at the hippos..."remember, you don't have to worry about the hippos charging unless they start wiggling their ears...oh wait, they ARE wiggling their ears. LOOK OUT!"...BANG...BANG..BANG.

I actually am very amused every ride that even today the hippos all still wiggle their ears, but there's no longer any mention of it. Maybe that's how they knocked that plane out of the sky.

Anybody know (other than *Robo*) where the FRONT half of that JC plane is located on property? (First correct answer recieved a free dole whip.)

SkierPete

 

[Captn Jack Sparrow]

Those of you sitting in the back are going to get a charge out of this trip. Yeah--you're sitting on the battery. Some people find that revolting, but I think that there is a positive and negative side to everything. Shocking, isn't it.

I also enjoy Please watch your step and watch your head, if you miss your step and hit your head please watch your language, this is Disney World!

OMG! I work at a library and am supposed to be quite!
You all are makeing my day, I can't wait to get back there and force my family to listen to bad jokes ... well they do live with me so it won't be really all that different for them... maybe that's why they're not so excited about that ride.

I am usually the one who laughs through the whole ride.

I had a lot of friends that worked the JC when i was there. I really wish i could have been a captain!

 

[LadyGracey]

Anybody know (other than *Robo*) where the FRONT half of that JC plane is located on property? (First correct answer recieved a free dole whip.)

SkierPete

The Great Movie Ride at DHS, in the "Casablanca" scene


Corny, but I like the "head salesman". "He's running a special: 2 heads for only one of yours. At least you're guaranteed to come out ahead"
Some of them also tell the IASW joke, about leaving your kids on the boat: "We'll take them to It's a Small World, nail their feet to the floor and teach them that song in 37 languages, then send them home with you."

 

[buffettgirl]

I always remember them joking - even when I was a kid. The back side of water was in there, and there was one about the "natives" can't remember that one exactly. Anyone?

and then something about covering up all the blue seat cusions because they attract pirahnas?

and the classic- wave goodbye to the folks on the dock, you may never see them again.

 

[dacky041208]

I like at the end:

"You are like family to me now, and like family, 10 minutes is too much, get out!"

 

[GoodFairies]

I like the Ginger Snaps one and always keep an ear out for a joke I haven't heard before. On our last trip, a couple weeks ago, the funniest one was that was new to us was when the Skipper pulled out the gun to scare off the hippos, pointed it and proceeded to shoo them away. It helped that he was, uh, kinda effeminate.

 

[KnJ]

This thread is awesome! The JC is one of my favorites, I love the humor. I have only heard my favorite joke one time:

As we approach the Hippos the skipper says "oh no Hippos, better get out my gun" Then she starts saying "shoo, shoo, shoo" while trying to swat away the hippos.

I could not stop laughing

 

[rottiemom]

"The elephants are bathing. Don't be embarrassed - they all have their TRUNKS on"

"two little squirts bathing underneath a full moon".

We enjoyed the wait on line as much as the cruise itself! We kept cracking up over the "olde tyme" radio voice & the announcements (as well as the "kittens for adoption" sign on the shredded T shirt when you get near the dock).

 

[Sinclare]

It's not really a joke but was the best JC moment I've ever had. Aside from the CM was in rare form that night; when we got to "Shirley's temple" he turned out the lights and started singing "There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / "

 

[scottishduffy]

I had one skipper who was particularly snarky and very goone one trip. As we were going past the butterfly his quip was

"These are the amazing amazonian butterflies which can ONLY be found in the deepest regions of South America or in the Disney gift shop for $49.95"

 

[Brer Shay]

Have heard this on other rides, but the first time was on JC. As you are exiting the ride, "Please watch your head as you exit. If you can't watch your head, then watch your mouth; there are kids here."

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

It's not really a joke but was the best JC moment I've ever had. Aside from the CM was in rare form that night; when we got to "Shirley's temple" he turned out the lights and started singing "There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / "

You must have posted on the "funny CMs" thread!! I remember someone posting that. As a Willie Wonka kid...love it!

 

[Disnsyncey]

wow, I can't believe that my joke hasn't been used!

I do like the joke about the elephants....."this is an african elephant....does anybody know why they are called african elephants?....no?...because we're in africa!!"

and I like the "get down! don't worry about looking stupid, I'm doin that for ya!"

and "the back side of water......and folks on the other side are gonna get water on their backside"

I do love the plant one as well....

golden girls, macarena, mickey in a tigger costume, and "snake, snake, snake.....snake, snake, snake.....snake your buddha" are fun times in the temple

I LOVE JUNGLE CRUISE!!!

 

[GEM]

(Looking at the dancing natives) "Oh no. Either they're planning a war party....or they've lost the key to the men's room again."

 

[Time Traveler]

"4 years in college for an art degree and you can be driving a boat around in circles all day! My parents are so proud....of my sister, she's a doctor."

It's not really a joke but was the best JC moment I've ever had. Aside from the CM was in rare form that night; when we got to "Shirley's temple" he turned out the lights and started singing "There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / "

Ours did that too on our last ride (along with the line above the quote); pretty sure his name was Josh but multiple CMs may have caught onto that.

 

[Sinclare]

"4 years in college for an art degree and you can be driving a boat around in circles all day! My parents are so proud....of my sister, she's a doctor."



Ours did that too on our last ride (along with the line above the quote); pretty sure his name was Josh but multiple CMs may have caught onto that.

Yea I think they caught on; I went the next morning and filled out a compliment card (or whatever they are called) and left a "What Would Walt Do" pin for the CM. After that, I heard several other CM's doing it during the stay.

 

[Disnsyncey]

"4 years in college for an art degree and you can be driving a boat around in circles all day! My parents are so proud....of my sister, she's a doctor."



Ours did that too on our last ride (along with the line above the quote); pretty sure his name was Josh but multiple CMs may have caught onto that.

I love that college thing!!

I think I heard that wonka reference a couple years ago as well....but as I'm not as big of a fan as some, it didn't add much to the ride past a momentary chuckle