Honestly, I had never thought much about it. I'm in my mid-30's and although I would like to think I will live forever, I do need to consider it. I've written all acct information for DH but never considered writing my wishes or what my actual wishes were. My family has always been buried. It's a standard, 2 day viewing (always 3-5 and 7-9) followed by a church funeral.
I recently had a relative pass that was like a 2nd mother to me. She had no children so for the first time I found myself planning a funeral and she wanted to be cremated. Although her ashes have been spread per her wishes, I did keep a small amount. She was very special to me and having something physical like that is important to me. It is also very important to my DS8. He misses her immensely and likes knowing she is with us. Unfortunately her husband of 40+ years has dementia so carrying out her wishes and possession of the remains were left to me. She has made me really think about bucking the trend of the traditional funeral in my family.
I love the idea of a family trip instead of an expensive funeral. If something were to happen to me while my kids are young, I don't care if DH puts me in the freezer, I just want him to use every penny to take care of our boys. If all goes as planned and I live to a ripe old age, I love the idea of being cremated and having my ashes mixed with DH once we are both gone. I would like us together to have just a little sprinkling in the mountains of Western Maryland, the Atlantic Ocean and Oriole Park at Camden Yards. Our boys can do whatever they want with the rest or spread us out completely in all 3 spaces. Now I am kind of anxious to discuss this with DH and put some thoughts on paper.
I recently had a relative pass that was like a 2nd mother to me. She had no children so for the first time I found myself planning a funeral and she wanted to be cremated. Although her ashes have been spread per her wishes, I did keep a small amount. She was very special to me and having something physical like that is important to me. It is also very important to my DS8. He misses her immensely and likes knowing she is with us. Unfortunately her husband of 40+ years has dementia so carrying out her wishes and possession of the remains were left to me. She has made me really think about bucking the trend of the traditional funeral in my family.
I love the idea of a family trip instead of an expensive funeral. If something were to happen to me while my kids are young, I don't care if DH puts me in the freezer, I just want him to use every penny to take care of our boys. If all goes as planned and I live to a ripe old age, I love the idea of being cremated and having my ashes mixed with DH once we are both gone. I would like us together to have just a little sprinkling in the mountains of Western Maryland, the Atlantic Ocean and Oriole Park at Camden Yards. Our boys can do whatever they want with the rest or spread us out completely in all 3 spaces. Now I am kind of anxious to discuss this with DH and put some thoughts on paper.
I'm sure your children will thank you some day for your putting them first with this issue and making it happen for their mother, for them. Otherwise, it could get pretty complicated. We had a situation in our family a few years back with an aunt that passed. We were not sure what her wishes were when she passed rather suddenly and unexpectedly. Our choices were to bury her alone in a public cemetery, or to cremate her and request special permission for her ashes be interred at the family plot - which was already over-full (and a full casket was not an option there, but an urn of ashes would be). We hemmed and hawed over it and decided it was probably more important for her to be with her family than it was to not be cremated. We hoped we'd made the right decision. Later, when we were able to legally access her papers, we found a note that she'd written to my mother saying she wanted to be cremated. Phew. It's a good idea to let our loved ones know what our wishes are, even though it's not exactly a subject most of us want to think about.
