~What Do You Think About Those 3 Boys In NJ?~

[Caradana]

Did the kids pop the trunk from inside the car, and then climb in?
Did the father have keys to open the trunk?

 

[tiggger1]

I heard on the news that supposedly an aunt looking in the trunk? When they were interviewed right after it happened, a relative said " but so and so looking in the truck hours ago" not sure if it was a mistake or what"

 

[Disney1fan2002]

When a family member dies like that, GOD FORBID especially a child, you NEED to blame someone, and sometimes, God is not enough.

You know, we all breathed a sigh of relief, or at least I did, that they were not kidnapped and violated. Then brutally murdered. Had then been, the dad could focus his rage on the perps. Since this was a tragic accident, he has nobody to point his finger at, and his brain cannot accept that those boys had to die. If only, if only........

This week, it is "if only the police had opened the trunk sooner"

Next week it may be "If only my wife hadn't let him go...." or something.

That poor man in is a state I hope to never have to be.

 

[mickeyboat]

So sad.

I stressed to my kids again this weekend that they are NEVER to play in a car. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she said, our vehicles don't have a trunk. But your kids may be playing somewhere sometime where there may be a car with a trunk. It's worth repeating.

Denae

 

[poohandwendy]

I stressed to my kids again this weekend that they are NEVER to play in a car. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she said, our vehicles don't have a trunk. But your kids may be playing somewhere sometime where there may be a car with a trunk. It's worth repeating.

Not only that, it is worth repeating that they should never play in ANY car, ever without an adult present. A car is not a toy and all kids should have a healthy fear of what could happen so that they stay clear of a dangerous situation...especially when they are pre-school/elementary age.

 

[Mskanga]

This is a very tragic story either way you look at it , and I am sorry for all involved , but I can't help it and question now WHY this family did not keep that car locked being that it was theirs and they knew that the kids went in it to play at times?
I will never tire to repeat to my children that they are not allowed to play or go in any cars ( unless we are going somewhere or we know they are going to get something quick ) , but at the same time I lock my cars all the time when I park them in the driveway. Too many times I have seen freak accidents like this happen, cars rolling over children playing behind the cars, hitting other cars, etc etc. I will not give the kids easy access to the cars , and I will never tire to tell them that cars are not toys and they are not allowed to play in them.
Unfortunately these families will have to live with that for the rest of their lives , but if anything possitive can come out of this , is other people see what happened to the children and take measures to prevent this from happening to other kids.
Prevention starts at home.....

 

[Disney1fan2002]

So sad.

I stressed to my kids again this weekend that they are NEVER to play in a car. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she said, our vehicles don't have a trunk. But your kids may be playing somewhere sometime where there may be a car with a trunk. It's worth repeating.

Denae

My 9 yo just doesn't get it. He thinks with this heat, he can still "go wait in the car" while I finish talking or getting the younger kids ready to go anywhere.

I tell him until I am blue in the face, never, ever, ever sit or wait in a car on a hot summer day.

I remember "playing" in my parents car all the time as a kid. Thank God, my kids have not done that. A car in not a playground.

 

[disneysteve]

I live a few miles from where this happened and work right in the town, so this has been a popular topic of discussion the past week. Obviously, the whole situation is tragic. And I certainly don't mean to place blame. But I can't help but notice one question has not yet been asked out loud. Camden, NJ is one of the poorest, most crime-ridden cities in the country. Yet 3 young children were left alone to play on the street with no adult supervision. These kids were from 3 different families, so where were the 6 parents when the kids were outside getting into trouble? We are fortunate to live in a good neighborhood about 8 miles from where this happened but we would still never allow our child to play outside unattended. You just never know what could happen, as this case tragically illustrates.

 

[Christine]

But I can't help but notice one question has not yet been asked out loud. Camden, NJ is one of the poorest, most crime-ridden cities in the country. Yet 3 young children were left alone to play on the street with no adult supervision. These kids were from 3 different families, so where were the 6 parents when the kids were outside getting into trouble? We are fortunate to live in a good neighborhood about 8 miles from where this happened but we would still never allow our child to play outside unattended. You just never know what could happen, as this case tragically illustrates.

disneysteve--you took the words right out of my mouth. I have been thinking about this since Saturday and was even hesitent to post it because I do know that many people have no problems with letting their children out unsupervised. In some areas of the world, it works--in some, it doesn't. I think the oldest of the three children was 11 right? There is no way that my 10 year old would be out with other children without me watching him every few minutes. Yes, I said minutes. Once he was out of my sight (meaning, not right out my window), I'd be in an frantic panic. No matter how "responsible" and 11 year old might seem, they "don't" have the best judgment.

So, yes, I was wondering why no one thought it strange that these three young children were allowed free range.

 

[disneysteve]

I think the oldest of the three children was 11 right?

Yes, the oldest boy was 11. However, he was also mentally disabled so did not have the usual capacity of an 11-year-old.

 

[Mskanga]

My understanding is that this was a fenced in yard , assuming that I am correct , I would not have a problem allowing the kids to go out and play in my yard without me being phisically out there with them BUT , I would be watching them every few minutes especially when I didn't hear them playing and especially since it was supposedly raining?
I don't have a fenced in yard and I let my kids out to play , but the moment I don't hear or see them from the window , I call them and normally they answer and let me know they are ok , if not I go looking for them.
I have been told by other neighbors that I am a bit over protective sometimes and that I should let the kids be responsible, I say better safe than sorry!

 

[bcvillastwo]

.....................it was and is a terrible tragedy and the parents are understandably distraught. Like one of the other poster's I wonder where those 6 parents were, I wonder what the police did or didn't do, or should or shouldn't have done. But, at the end of the day it was just a terrible accident, the kind that kids sometimes get involved in with tragic consequences.

I look back on all of the potentially dangerous life threatening things that I did during my childhood and marvel that I never broke a bone, or worse. My parents never knew where I was and during the summer we were often gone from 8-9 in the morning until 4-5 in the afternoon. I used to hope trains when I was a kid ride them a ways and then jump off. What kept me from being impailed, or busting my head wide open? I don't know but looking back on those times it really is a wonder I didn't get hurt badly by being reckless and carefree.

Tragic accidents occur in life no matter how much we wish they wouldn't. My heart goes out to those parents because I know what it's like to have a child die as a result of an accident. Lets just say that nothing compares to that type of tragedy. But, still we must remember that sometimes these things just happen.

 

[Christine]

My understanding is that this was a fenced in yard , assuming that I am correct , I would not have a problem allowing the kids to go out and play in my yard without me being phisically out there with them BUT , I would be watching them every few minutes especially when I didn't hear them playing and especially since it was supposedly raining?
I don't have a fenced in yard and I let my kids out to play , but the moment I don't hear or see them from the window , I call them and normally they answer and let me know they are ok , if not I go looking for them.
I have been told by other neighbors that I am a bit over protective sometimes and that I should let the kids be responsible, I say better safe than sorry!

You're about at my level with overprotectiveness. Yes, if this was a fenced-in yard then I understand how they were out there unsupervised. But, if even 15 minutes had gone by and I hadn't seen them I would've been looking. And maybe they did.

 

[Mskanga]

I don't even give my kids 15 minutes, I give them 5 at the most. Did I say that when my 12 year old goes on a bike ride she can only go around the block , and she goes with a buddy and a 2 way radio? and if some people think I'm bad.....they don't know my husband, if it was up to him , she would still be riding her bike only in the driveway!

 

[always quiet]

After seeing the video of when the father opened the trunk, it's obvious that the car was not locked and that there was a button on the inside to pop the trunk. I am a bit lost on how once the 3 kids were inside the trunk did the lid close completely. You would think that if it fell shut, it still would of remained slightly ajar.

Yes, the police should of looked inside the trunk BUT

1. Kids of their age should not of been left unattended.
2. The parents should of had the car if not removed from their property, at least kept locked at all times.
3. The parents should of checked the car if they knew the boys played inside of it.
4. Seeing the age of the children, the police should of been called much sooner. I do believe that even if the police had checked the trunk, 3 hours would of been too long and they would not of found those little innocents alive.

 

[Disney Ella]

According to the article in the Philadelphia Inquirer, the father who complained lives in Philadelphia and was no longer with the boy's mother. I think that the car belonged to the mother of one of the other father's, not the one complaining. He also said he complained to DYFS about the boy being allowed to wander in the past and that they did nothing.

 

[Aidensmom]

Honestly.. I said to my husbad I dont know if I would of thought to look in the trunk if they were my kids. If you are panicking and cant find 3 kids who would of thought all 3 would be in the trunk? I can see them looking in the car but not the trunk.

DH and I discussed the same thing, with the conclusion being that now we will always think to look in the trunk.

I both of our cars, there is a latch in the backseat to lay the seats down. A child could get in that way, and pull the seat back up behind them and be trapped.

 

[KirstenB]

It's just a horrible tragedy. I don't blame the parents, our 7 yr old dd plays in the backyard by herself (we're in the middle of nowhere, so I don't worry about kidnapping, etc). My car is unlocked in the driveway. Until now, I never thought about reviewing how to get out of a car trunk with dd. I just cant' blame these people---no matter what, sometimes horrible things just happen.

 

[dcgrumpy]

From what I've heard, the car wasn't "abandoned" it had brake problems and the grandmother hadn't used it in 3 weeks. They also said the hinge to hold the trunk open was broken, so it had to be held open or it would just salm down.

A part of me doesn't understand why the parents didn't check the trunk. But honestly, if DS was in the yard playing and disappeared after I came in for a few minutes. I don't think I would think to look in the car. Especially not the trunk.

 

[Hillbeans]

This story really opened my eyes as well - because i'd probably look in the car if my children went missing, but who knows if i'd pop the trunk or not? It's easy to say now of course you would when you're not in the situation and frightened.

What I do know is that i'd have called 911 within 10 minutes if my son was still missing - those first 30 minutes/hour are the most critical in any missing child or abduction situation.

This story can and will help other people though (just like the Natalee Holloway story in Aruba). It gives you the chance to talk about situations with your children that are dangerous - and playing in parked cars should be tops on that list.