What do you think about cheating/affairs?

[Princess_Michelle]

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[Tinijocaro]

For those who feel like they need a little extra something in their life, just remember, it's called cheating for a reason.

I say, for those who feel like they need a little extra something in their life, isn't that what Frank's Hot Sauce is for?

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

No worries, because my DH would NEVER cheat on me, so I wouldn't have to kill him

Suzanne

good

 

[SorcererDonald16]

I'm one of those people who feel that if I ever get married, if my husband cheated on me once, I'd be calling a divorce lawyer. So, keep that in mind as I respond to your questions.

What do you think about someone who "loves" their spouse and family, but is looking for something fun and convenient on the side? A once in a while friends with benefits, you might say. What does that say about that person as a man, a professional, a religious person even. What do you think it really says about his marriage and his feelings for his spouse?

1. I don't think he loves his wife, and apparently he doesn't care much about his family either. At least, no kind of love I would ever want would think it's okay to cheat. That's one warped kind of "love."
2. As a professional, I'd say it says he can't be trusted to keep promises he made in pretty much anything. A marriage is not only a promise, but a legal contract. Cheating violates that. If you lie and break that big of a promise, if you violate that contract, what other rules and laws will you break?
3. If his religion says adultery is wrong, then it says jack squat about him being a religious person. He's what I would call a "Pick and Choose" hypocrite. From my Christian perspective, the Bible clearly says adultery is a sin, and it breaks one of the Ten Commandments. If he's also a Christian or any other religion that feels the same way, he's not following his faith. He's simply engaging in selective reading, only paying attention to what he wants to pay attention to in the Bible or other book of faith and ignoring what he doesn't like. He's picking and choosing what he wants to believe in.

What does this say about him and his character? I'm having a hard time seeing him a bad light. He's known to be charming and flirtatious, but is not that attractive to look at. He's 49. I've known him for a while, but am now hearing these things about him and a friend is getting involved...

To me it says he has no character. Frankly, I think he's a weasel and his wife would be better off without him even if he ultimately doesn't cheat on her. I interpret your post as he has children as well, so what is that saying to his children? If he has a son, it's okay for him to get married one day and cheat on his wife? To the daughters, it's okay for their future husband(s) to cheat on them? It should be accepted and tolerated? People think kids won't find out about stuff like this, but if it's already getting talked about by non-nuclear family members, they'll hear about it eventually.

Not to mention the fact that he would be putting his wife at risk of who knows what kinds of diseases, and he could end up with a child with his fling partner.

If he cares one iota about his wife or children, he'd be getting himself to a counselor or someone similar to find out why in the world he's thinking like this, IMO.

 

[brockash]

Adulterer's are selfish morons who don't care about anyone but themselves. They will throw everything away and ruin everyone's lives around them just for fun, or b/c they don't feel appreciated, boo-hoo cry me a freaking river.

I honestly believe that one timers should be stoned half to death and repeat offenders should be stoned to death. I hate them. There aren't enough bad words in the world for me to call them. If DH ever cheated, I would destroy him. Yes, I am completely serious...

Wow, seriously you need to get some counseling. That is isane and you are part of the reason that domestic violence is so prevalent. Does you DH know that he's in danger of you? I'm not kidding, if my DH ever said something like that to me, we'd be done. How much clearer of a sign can you get??? Let me just ask though, let's say you have a daughter, let's say she gets married and for whatever reason cheats on her DH... would you honestly think that she should be stoned to death or stoned at all for that matter or physically touched at all???? Are you freaking kidding me... that's insane and you need some help. I'm assuming that you've been cheated on and are very very bitter, that's the only thing I can think of as to why you would say these things, but come one...get over it. Look, I've been cheated on before, but you know what, would I ever try to hurt the person that cheated on me... no, why? for a few reasons but mainly it's completely wrong, and also GET OVER IT... they obviously weren't the person you thought they were... MOVE ON.

 

[brockash]

If you think about it creatively, it's not really "killing" so much as arranging a court date.

1-800-799-7233... that's the domestic violence hotline...seriously get some help before you end up in jail and ruining the lives of everyone around you...sound familiar

 

[brockash]

It happens, not in this country, but in foreign countries. I read an article recently in fact about a man that cheated with his brother's wife, somewhere in the Middle East and they were getting ready to stone them to death in the streets.

It happened alot many many years ago, people were put to death for Adultry, it is a SIN for pete's sake. It is right up there with murder in the Bible.

Suzanne

Wow is all I can say, and how very very sad. For those of you that think this is acceptable/how it should be why don't you move to the middle east where you'd fit in more appropriately.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Wow is all I can say, and how very very sad. For those of you that think this is acceptable/how it should be why don't you move to the middle east where you'd fit in more appropriately.

Have you not read the Ten Commandments lately? Adultry is right up there with murder as I pointed out in another post and to quote the Bible "The wages of sin is death"

Suzanne

 

[Goofyluver]

Wow, seriously you need to get some counseling. That is isane and you are part of the reason that domestic violence is so prevalent. Does you DH know that he's in danger of you? I'm not kidding, if my DH ever said something like that to me, we'd be done. How much clearer of a sign can you get??? Let me just ask though, let's say you have a daughter, let's say she gets married and for whatever reason cheats on her DH... would you honestly think that she should be stoned to death or stoned at all for that matter or physically touched at all???? Are you freaking kidding me... that's insane and you need some help. I'm assuming that you've been cheated on and are very very bitter, that's the only thing I can think of as to why you would say these things, but come one...get over it. Look, I've been cheated on before, but you know what, would I ever try to hurt the person that cheated on me... no, why? for a few reasons but mainly it's completely wrong, and also GET OVER IT... they obviously weren't the person you thought they were... MOVE ON.

1-800-799-7233... that's the domestic violence hotline...seriously get some help before you end up in jail and ruining the lives of everyone around you...sound familiar

Wow is all I can say, and how very very sad. For those of you that think this is acceptable/how it should be why don't you move to the middle east where you'd fit in more appropriately.

Geez already. Get off it.

 

[brockash]

Yup. Pretty much.

My ex was a cheater. Physically AND emotionally. Ironically, he was not cheating with the woman he was was in love with (who he told me one day was NOT me but some chick he was with 8 years ago who to the best of my knowledge is married and living on the other side of the nation... )

So he had me.
And he had this bizarre obsession with a women he was sleeping with almost a decade ago.
And then I found out he had his flings
(he also had assorted women on his MySpace page stroking his ego online)

Just try to wrap your mind around that logic... I couldn't.


I kicked him to the curb as soon as I found out. It was 1 week after the return from our first vacation together that I paid for...

I found out everything when he told me he "still loved" the ex gf. He was truly puzzled when I told him it was over too. These people think they can get away with whatever. He didn't understand why I cared if he loved another woman.

Then he told me about the emotionless bar skank flings .

There was simply no discussion. I just took my belongings that I had left at his house and walked out. Got myself tested for every STD on the planet (all negative thank god) and moved on and found someone better.

We have not spoken since and I have more than moved on with my life.

But for what it's worth, he was very "charming". He really knew how to manipulate people. He was dashingly good looking, witty, smart, well read and generally easy to get along with. In fact, we never fought once during the time we were together until he told me about his love for the ex one night during a normal talk. I never would have known...

This is what a mature person does. To all of those showing support for domestic violence... take a look at what a mature adult does and it seems this person found someone better and is happy now and more importantly not in jail

 

[Robindianne]

How would you see him if he were your spouse? Would he seem respectable and charming and loving?

 

[brockash]

Have you not read the Ten Commandments lately? Adultry is right up there with murder as I pointed out in another post and to quote the Bible "The wages of sin is death"

Suzanne

Well if that makes you feel better for advocating that domestic violence is okay if... I don't think it makes it okay to kill someone. I personally don't think I'm high and mighty enough to be that judge.

 

[brockash]

Geez already. Get off it.

Unfortunately I can't. I work with domestic violence victims and defendants every day and it's sickening that ppl. would justify it. I also have children and I would hate to have my children growing up in a world where ppl. justify physical violence, because someone cheats on someone (boo freaking hoo) and I would not be able to live with myself if I didn't try to do something about it. Like I said, you all wait until it's your daughter and then you tell me it's okay for someone to say they should be killed, stoned to death ect. It's completely disgusting, and half the reason it's as big as it is, is because ppl. don't stand up for what is right. I'll say a million times, that ppl. shouldn't cheat on ppl. and it's sad that it happens, but NO ONE has the right to inflict violence against someone because of it.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

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[brockash]

Adulterer's are selfish morons who don't care about anyone but themselves. They will throw everything away and ruin everyone's lives around them just for fun, or b/c they don't feel appreciated, boo-hoo cry me a freaking river.

I honestly believe that one timers should be stoned half to death and repeat offenders should be stoned to death. I hate them. There aren't enough bad words in the world for me to call them. If DH ever cheated, I would destroy him. Yes, I am completely serious...[/QUOTE]

Sorry, I guess I took the I am completely serious part the wrong way

 

[Disney Doll]

I think that anyone who cheats is an unethical person lacking any type of character. I would not want to associate with them.

I think if your friend is trying to decide whether or not to get involved with a married man, she should speak to a counselor and find out why she has such low self esteem that she's be happy with playing second fiddle.

Truthfully, I probably wouldn't want to associate with either of them...I have this thing for hanging with people with ethics and good character...don't particularly like smarmy skanks.

 

[ticktock]

Unfortunately I can't. I work with domestic violence victims and defendants every day and it's sickening that ppl. would justify it. I also have children and I would hate to have my children growing up in a world where ppl. justify physical violence, because someone cheats on someone (boo freaking hoo) and I would not be able to live with myself if I didn't try to do something about it. Like I said, you all wait until it's your daughter and then you tell me it's okay for someone to say they should be killed, stoned to death ect. It's completely disgusting, and half the reason it's as big as it is, is because ppl. don't stand up for what is right. I'll say a million times, that ppl. shouldn't cheat on ppl. and it's sad that it happens, but NO ONE has the right to inflict violence against someone because of it.

Cheating can lead to a horrible death too. I've always told DH if he wanted to play the field tell me and I'd give him an amicable divorce. If he cheated on me and gave me an untreatable STD I would tie him up while he was asleep, cut off his ***** and put it in the food processor so it couldn't be sewn back on. Then I'd call for an ambulance. And while I'm in prison all you tax payers will have to pay for my aids meds.

I don't think it is right to stone people to death for adultery but I also don't think it is right that society has come to condone it. I think if you can prove your spouse cheated on you you should get all the marital property and full custody of the kids. That would encourage people to seek out counseling for their urges or divorce before they spread the germs around.

Herpes and genital warts were almost unheard of in the general population 40-50 years ago. The societal acceptance of casual sex has lead to an estimated 60% of women infected with warts which can cause cancer not only of the cervix but also of the throat. They think all you have to do now to catch warts orally is french kiss. So how would you like your daughter to catch warts from her first kiss and die from cancer 10 years later? A horrible death is a horrible death.

 

[Hawaiidood]

Well I have yet to be in a relationship(Being 20 thats a bit hard to believe i know), but from past experiances and helping countless friends through rough times, the last thing I would EVER do is cheat on someone I felt so close to. The way I see it, if Im lucky enough to be part of this wounderfull girl's life, the last thing I want to do is screw that up. The way I see it, a girl/woman(Wow gotta get used to that, they are no longer girls!!) should be respected 110% and deserves nothing less then my total love.


BTW Hey CB boards!!! This is my first post here.

 

[SorcererDonald16]

I agree with the above suggestion that the woman considering having an affair with him should also get herself to counseling. She knows he's married. There's no excuse for that. It sounds like something is not quite right with her to be considering this. I hope she has sense enough not to get involved with this creep, and really starts to question why she's even entertaining the possibility.

Well I have yet to be in a relationship(Being 20 thats a bit hard to believe i know), but from past experiances and helping countless friends through rough times, the last thing I would EVER do is cheat on someone I felt so close to. The way I see it, if Im lucky enough to be part of this wounderfull girl's life, the last thing I want to do is screw that up. The way I see it, a girl/woman(Wow gotta get used to that, they are no longer girls!!) should be respected 110% and deserves nothing less then my total love.


BTW Hey CB boards!!! This is my first post here.

You definitely sound very bright. Good for you for thinking that way. Unfortunately, some people far older than you, like the man in the OP's main post, have yet to come to those same conclusions. Basic decency seems to skip some people.

 

[Katy Belle]

Well, I have reason to believe that one of my family members is very similar to the man in your story. He had been single/divorced for 19 years and recently remarried. She is a great gal and I'm so happy for BOTH of them. Now it seems he's cheating on her, with a girl he had a fling with while he was single. I don't get it. I think it speaks volumes about his character and I don't look at him the same way. Sad.