What do you spend on/give your nieces and nephews for Christmas ? vent and question.

[Sgt Mickey]

hahaha....thought the zombie threads were over...................

They live on forever
I really never notice dates.

 

[Shanan]

We have no kids but 6 nieces & nephews. When turned 18 - no more birthday or Christmas gifts. The younger ones get around $25. This year my brother & SIL took their 3 kids (9, 6 & 4) skiing on 26th. SIL is dentist & brother works in IT at Baylor and the kids got way too much stuff. We decided to give them each a small tote with activity book, stickers & pipe cleaners etc in them. Put totes in car for kids to find in car on 26th. Each bag costs less than $9 but per text was a hit with kiddos and with the parents.

 

[bookgirl]

I must be tired, I answered before I realized it was a Zombie Thread.....argh!

 

[eliza61]

I disagree. I have bought for my nephew (no 16) since he was born (since we only have one on each side we still buy for him), I have spent $50+every birthday or Christmas.
I stopped buying him Easter Eggs this year since my brother has never reciprocated now that we have kids. I don't think its okay to be willing to gift exchanged etc when your family is on the receiving end but when your sibling has children think actually lets not do the gift thing now (now that I have to buy them)

Ok, i disagree

Gifts are supposed to be from the heart NOT some type of score keeping triathlon. I buy gifts for people because I love them NOT because 2 years ago someone gave my kid something.

Is that your meaning of Christmas??
I don't want anything out of obligation. period

My nephew is 24, he is a struggling actor. i slid him 70 bucks. I did it because I love him, I know he's broke, I know he's uber appreciative. My brother did not get my sons a gift, lol I'm not planning a boycott next year.

Adults can seriously kill the meaning of gift jiving

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

I don't mind giving my nieces and nephew Christmas gifts, I just wish we could stop the birthday parties. DH family believes in having parties well into their 20's. My family stopped birthday parties when we were 10. DN will turn 21 soon and I'm sure there will be a party. I think it's ridiculous to have to attend a party for someone that age.

I do understand the OP being upset about her DD being left out while her siblings got more. I have twins and I have had family give my twins one combined gift for their birthdays while they gave other children in our extended family individual gifts. My kids would get combined the same amount that the others would get individually. My kids are individuals who happen to share the same birthday. They are not one collective entity. And, don't get me started on the stupidity that Hallmark has in providing birthday cards that say "Happy Birthday to the Twins"!

 

[Julie's Haircut]

When I was a kid, Christmas at Grandma's sounded something like this:

"That's not fair!! You gave him a better present than you gave me!!"

"Her gift cost more than mine!!"

Only it was the adults arguing, not the kids.

J/K. Nobody actually said anything like that, but I have no doubt that people were thinking it.

Brother and SIL have no kids, so no nephews and nieces. They used to buy my stepDs small gifts until they were early teens, but we agreed to stop with ALL gift exchanging after that. We just got back from bro's house, and SIL sent us home with lots of cookies anyway.

Way back when in my extended family, aunts and uncles used to buy gifts (BD and Xmas) for nieces and nephews until they graduated high school. When I was about 14, they decided to drop the cut-off age to 12. So I got cheated out of 3 years of gifts , but still got two more than younger cousins would receive.

 

[mummabear]

Ok, i disagree

Gifts are supposed to be from the heart NOT some type of score keeping triathlon. I buy gifts for people because I love them NOT because 2 years ago someone gave my kid something.

Is that your meaning of Christmas??
I don't want anything out of obligation. period

My nephew is 24, he is a struggling actor. i slid him 70 bucks. I did it because I love him, I know he's broke, I know he's uber appreciative. My brother did not get my sons a gift, lol I'm not planning a boycott next year.

Adults can seriously kill the meaning of gift jiving

Yup so by definition my brother is telling my kids - I don't love you

 

[Jennasis]

I see it's a zombie thread, but I'm puzzling a nephew related gift thing myself. My nephew (10) lives several states away, so I don't see him and my sister and his dad at Christmas. He loves coming to visit, as he's infatuated with my farm and farm life. He loves my horses...one in particular, and loves riding him and loving on him when he visits. This year, for Christmas, I gave him THE HORSE. I sent him a sealed letter with a big photo of the horse in it for him to open on Christmas day, with a big note across it letting him know that the horse was his. Also threw in a gift card for him for WDW since they were going on a trip there the day after Christmas.

I kept waiting all morning to get the call from my sister (who knew about the gift) and the excited nephew going bananas over the horse...nothing. So after a while i called my sister to wish them a Merry Christmas. No mention of the gifts or anything. I asked her if he opened the letters...yep she says. Okay? Was he happy? Oh yeah. So she yells to him to "come say Merry Christmas to aunt J"...but he's busy playing whatever new video game he got. So he reluctantly puts the game on pause, after first saying he couldn't pause the game and comes over and says "Merry Christmas."...literally. So I ask him if he's excited about his trip to WDW tomorrow. He is. Again, no thanks for the gift card. No thanks for THE HORSE. No mention of the gifts at all. Just a Merry Christmas and gotta go.

I'm sure some of my mystified reaction is due to the fact that I would have given my eye teeth for a horse when I was his age. I thought he was horsey. I guess not? I know he's only 10 but sheesh!

These kids today eh? LOL!

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

Yup so by definition my brother is telling my kids - I don't love you

Yes, this. It's not about the money. It's about the thought behind it. I would put thought, time and effort into getting gifts for DB kids that they would enjoy. My kids got crap and it was obvious that no thought was put into it (DD was in second grade and advanced in reading-reading Harry Potter. He gave her a picture book for an infant.) So, I guess your kids are important but mine are not.

 

[Fire14]

I have 2 nieces ( 15 +16) 3 nephews (6,10, 19) I spent appox 30.00 on each. I got girls hoodies, boys youngest got infinity figures at his mom's suggestion older 2 got gc because 1. I hardly know 10 yr old and his parents gave me NO ideas. oldest got gas card as I figured that was safe bet

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I see it's a zombie thread, but I'm puzzling a nephew related gift thing myself. My nephew (10) lives several states away, so I don't see him and my sister and his dad at Christmas. He loves coming to visit, as he's infatuated with my farm and farm life. He loves my horses...one in particular, and loves riding him and loving on him when he visits. This year, for Christmas, I gave him THE HORSE. I sent him a sealed letter with a big photo of the horse in it for him to open on Christmas day, with a big note across it letting him know that the horse was his. Also threw in a gift card for him for WDW since they were going on a trip there the day after Christmas.

I kept waiting all morning to get the call from my sister (who knew about the gift) and the excited nephew going bananas over the horse...nothing. So after a while i called my sister to wish them a Merry Christmas. No mention of the gifts or anything. I asked her if he opened the letters...yep she says. Okay? Was he happy? Oh yeah. So she yells to him to "come say Merry Christmas to aunt J"...but he's busy playing whatever new video game he got. So he reluctantly puts the game on pause, after first saying he couldn't pause the game and comes over and says "Merry Christmas."...literally. So I ask him if he's excited about his trip to WDW tomorrow. He is. Again, no thanks for the gift card. No thanks for THE HORSE. No mention of the gifts at all. Just a Merry Christmas and gotta go.

I'm sure some of my mystified reaction is due to the fact that I would have given my eye teeth for a horse when I was his age. I thought he was horsey. I guess not? I know he's only 10 but sheesh!

These kids today eh? LOL!

Maybe he only likes the horse when he comes to visit, but really doesn't want it for himself. And I suppose sister is OK with the horse, as such a gift requires expensive upkeep and maintenance.

 

[Jennasis]

Maybe he only likes the horse when he comes to visit, but really doesn't want it for himself. And I suppose sister is OK with the horse, as such a gift requires expensive upkeep and maintenance.

No upkeep. The horse lives on my farm 600 miles away and I care/pay for him LOL. You could be right, but a "thanks for the gift card and horse" would have been nice.

 

[scrapquitler]

I see it's a zombie thread, but I'm puzzling a nephew related gift thing myself. My nephew (10) lives several states away, so I don't see him and my sister and his dad at Christmas. He loves coming to visit, as he's infatuated with my farm and farm life. He loves my horses...one in particular, and loves riding him and loving on him when he visits. This year, for Christmas, I gave him THE HORSE. I sent him a sealed letter with a big photo of the horse in it for him to open on Christmas day, with a big note across it letting him know that the horse was his. Also threw in a gift card for him for WDW since they were going on a trip there the day after Christmas.

I kept waiting all morning to get the call from my sister (who knew about the gift) and the excited nephew going bananas over the horse...nothing. So after a while i called my sister to wish them a Merry Christmas. No mention of the gifts or anything. I asked her if he opened the letters...yep she says. Okay? Was he happy? Oh yeah. So she yells to him to "come say Merry Christmas to aunt J"...but he's busy playing whatever new video game he got. So he reluctantly puts the game on pause, after first saying he couldn't pause the game and comes over and says "Merry Christmas."...literally. So I ask him if he's excited about his trip to WDW tomorrow. He is. Again, no thanks for the gift card. No thanks for THE HORSE. No mention of the gifts at all. Just a Merry Christmas and gotta go.

I'm sure some of my mystified reaction is due to the fact that I would have given my eye teeth for a horse when I was his age. I thought he was horsey. I guess not? I know he's only 10 but sheesh!

These kids today eh? LOL!

I don't know...I just don't think that as a kid (or even now as an adult) I'd be that excited about someone telling me 'oh the horse is now yours' if I lived several states away from the horse. Before he saw the horse when he was in your state, and now he'll see the horse when he's in your state. What about that makes it 'his'? It just seems weird to me, and I can see why he might not be excited.

 

[Jennasis]

I don't know...I just don't think that as a kid (or even now as an adult) I'd be that excited about someone telling me 'oh the horse is now yours' if I lived several states away from the horse. Before he saw the horse when he was in your state, and now he'll see the horse when he's in your state. What about that makes it 'his'? It just seems weird to me, and I can see why he might not be excited.

I'm gonna pull an old lady moment...Manners dictates saying thank you when a gift is given. Even if it was something you didn't like, want, or ask for (none of which is the case in this instance).

As I said, my thoughts are probably colored by what my reaction as a kid his age would have been. I'm just stymied that he didn't acknowledge it at all. I suppose it's EXACTLY like when parents surprise their kids with a Disney trip and then are all let down wen the kids aren't cart-wheeling across the room LOL.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

No upkeep. The horse lives on my farm 600 miles away and I care/pay for him LOL. You could be right, but a "thanks for the gift card and horse" would have been nice.

He definitely should have thanked you without you calling. But even your sister didn't prompt him, and didn't respond anything other than yeah, we got the gifts.

 

[mummabear]

I'm gonna pull an old lady moment...Manners dictates saying thank you when a gift is given. Even if it was something you didn't like, want, or ask for (none of which is the case in this instance).

Sadly these days it isn't really done. My kids spend boxing day and the day after their birthday parties writing thank you notes (DD6 writes her own, DD4 tells me what to write and writes her name and DD22 months draws a picture over my writing) for all presents (including for those who were there and thanked when they were opened.
I can't believe how many texts from other parents you get after a party that have gone to the whole group saying thanks for coming to x's party and the gift, not even a personal text thanking you for the actual gift you got them.

 

[NHdisneylover]

It's a zombie thread--but at least this one is still an interesting and relevant topic.

First, I have 2 nieces and a nephew--I spend somewhere in the 50-100 dollar range on each for birthdays and again for Christmas (depends a lot on how we are doing financially that year, what they want, etc.).

There are 5 grandkids in the family, including my two (who both have birthdays Christmas week). I have never seen gift giving as a tit for tat thing.

The aunt who has no kids has generously bought for all 5 year after year (though, sadly, if we are not physically at DH's parents' house on the holiday she tends to forget my kids, while going on to them on facetime about the awesome things she got he other three---not this year though--this year she made sure everyone was included).

The aunt and uncle who have two of their own spend a bit less, probably on the 30-50 range, and often go the giving cash route. This aunt declared on the year that my DD was born that she would not give a birthday gift in December but would do a half birthday gift so DD would get something in summer time and she has stuck with that for both kids, and never forgets in June.

Other aunt and uncle are often late with gifts (well, they are late for everything lol) but always hit the nail on the head for things the kids would actually like--sometimes it is money or something expensive, and sometimes it is used books or jackets, but it is always something that fits.

DD is the oldest and turned 19 on Saturday. I sort of wondered if anyone would stop the gifts at a certain point--I hope if they decide she has aged out that they let her know ahead of time rather than her simply wondering on the holiday. As is, she was included this year. Regardless of what others in the family do, I intend to include my nieces and nephews into their early to mid 20s--whenever they are more full time employed and not students or learning a trade, etc.

 

[elphaba91]

Admittedly our family is quite small, but nieces and nephews are never cut off from Christmas presents. My aunt gave my sister and I $60 gift cards and we are 21 and 24 and my mum gave my cousins & cousin's fiancé presents (and they are all in their late 30s - one will be 40 in 6 months!). However, nieces and nephew also give their aunts presents and cousins give each other presents. It's usually done differently with my uncle, aunt and cousin who live overseas (we'll just do a present from one family to another), unless they are out here for Christmas.

We did have a rather awkward gift situation this year - my grandfather's wife gave my sister and I each a $50 gift card from herself and him, but didn't give my cousins anything. Even worse, despite us telling her that we would be visiting him on Christmas morning and therefore would see her then, she insisted on giving them to my aunt on Christmas Eve in cards without envelopes, so they saw. Admittedly we do visit my grandfather in aged care a lot more than they do, but it was still pretty awkward.

 

[NHdisneylover]

No upkeep. The horse lives on my farm 600 miles away and I care/pay for him LOL. You could be right, but a "thanks for the gift card and horse" would have been nice.

I agree that clearly you should be told thank you--especially for the gift card.

I have to agree with others, that although you clearly meant it as a sweet thing, I can see where the gift of the horse did not go over well---quite honestly it would be almost hurtful to me to receive the "gift" of being told something is mine, but that something clearly still belongs to the giver, resides with the giver and is just something I get to use when visiting--as I had been doing for years anyway (and as others who visit probably get to do as well).
Again, I know you meant well--but it could easily be taken as you making a big fuss and wanting thanks for giving him nothing whatsoever--which could lead to him feeling hurt and not important, etc.

 

[Judique]

There's an old saying, 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

I'm really thinking that in the moment the video game is of much more importance than the horse.

But when the child comes to visit, the horse will again take center stage.

Kids are kids. And sure, parents are responsible for making sure the kids do the 'right thing'. (As in call and thank you and generate the correct buzz of excitement.)

Jennassis - you did an awesomely thoughtful act, and are expecting the family to respond as you felt appropriate to your feelings. Sometimes that just doesn't happen, and it is quite disappointing. Here's wishing for you that it comes to pass at a later date. Better later than never.

Pyrtxtz (sp) - time to let it go. Move on. I've also got the daughter with the combination Xmas and Birthday and she is getting ready to have her own Xmas/Dec daughter TODAY! So next year I'll have 2 sets of combo gifts to buy, plus possibly 2 birthday cakes to bake. Blessings galore!