What do you spend on/give your nieces and nephews for Christmas ? vent and question.

[TheIncredibles!]

No upkeep. The horse lives on my farm 600 miles away and I care/pay for him LOL. You could be right, but a "thanks for the gift card and horse" would have been nice.

So you gave him a horse that he can only see when he visits you? My grandparents did that when we were little. Their only present to us for one year was a swinget in THEIR yard. We were so excited because we thought it was for our yard since we didn't have one. Nope it was for their yard. We only went there twice a year and one time was in winter. So we got a gift we could only enjoy for an hour or so every year. Ummm Thanks? There's not much to be excited about there IMO. Nothing changes for your nephew. Him "owning" the horse or not he still only gets to enjoy it when he visits. He should have thanked you for the gift but I can certainly see how he was not overjoyed with the gift. Sorry.

 

[aristocatz]

We have 3 nieces & we spend between $15-$30 on each of them. They are between the ages of 8 months -7 years old. We really just base the price on recommendations from their parents. The 5 yr old & 8 yr old tend to want less expensive things like Barbies, art projects, science books, play doh.... This year it was a National Geographic kids book & a fashion plates art set. The 8 month old is just whatever is appropriate for that age-this year, we got her a Leapfrog Violet interactive doll.

 

[crz4mm2]

We stopped buying for the niece and nephew after they graduated high school. We buy for the great ones now (but we only have a handful) and spend 15-20.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I have 16 nieces and nephews. I stopped giving them presents when they got old enough to dial a phone to say thank you....not because of their age, but because I figured that if, by the age of 12, they didn't know how to say thank you to someone for a gift, they didn't want any more gifts! I have one niece that still gets a small gift from us.

These children all now have children of their own. I have sent gifts to their kids, and not once received a thank you in return, from the kids or the parents, except from one niece (the niece mentioned above). Her kids are the only ones that get gifts from me now. (They are little, like not quite 2 and 4. she will call me, and hand them the phone to say thank you to auntie.) Might make me a bad person to some, but I expect my kids to say thank you no matter what, and it bothers me that they even attempt to say thank you (parents or kids). Guess I have higher expectations for my nieces and nephews than their parents do...

My kids have never gotten gifts from my family, or DH's. Wait...once, when she was born, DD#1 got a baby blanket that my oldest sister crocheted, and once her husband brought DD#2 and DS a present when he was in town for work. Other than that, my kids never got anything, not even a card. With both my girls expecting their first babies, neither one expects anything for that as well. The niece above has sent DD#2 some bby items she received, but never used (boy related things) and bought her a couple of things off her registry. DD#1 is just newly pregnant, hasn't really announced it, but that niece has some things to send her as well, and told me to let her know when her registry is up.

ETA: My husband knows the pain of birthday/Christmas gifts. His birthday is a few days before Christmas, and he would get the same amount of gifts as his 2 siblings, but be told that a couple of them were for his birthday (and wrapped in Christmas paper). His brother would get school clothes for his birthday (August). His sister was the only one who got decent gifts (March)...unless it was Easter, and then her presents were partly from the Easter bunny.

 

[Jennasis]

So you gave him a horse that he can only see when he visits you? My grandparents did that when we were little. Their only present to us for one year was a swinget in THEIR yard. We were so excited because we thought it was for our yard since we didn't have one. Nope it was for their yard. We only went there twice a year and one time was in winter. So we got a gift we could only enjoy for an hour or so every year. Ummm Thanks? There's not much to be excited about there IMO. Nothing changes for your nephew. Him "owning" the horse or not he still only gets to enjoy it when he visits. He should have thanked you for the gift but I can certainly see how he was not overjoyed with the gift. Sorry.

Yes. I get it. I'm a thoughtless heel for giving him that particular gift, and the gift card for his trip I suppose. Lesson learned.

 

[bookgirl]

Wow you can tell my nephews are the only kids.

I spent about $250 on clothes I'll chip in another couple hundred on the big gifts for them that will be from me their dad and my parents. I also gave them each $100 gas cards to 7-11. Oh and I helped my mom with stockings.

Yes they're spoiled but I will say that this was a great Christmas. Neither of them played the surly teenager card(16.5 yo). They loved their clothes, and said lots of thank yous, and they willingly took two rounds of pictures with smiles and laughter. And bonus there was no drama Hahaha.

We don't always get the total Christmas magic but this year we did.

 

[kamik86]

I spent 25-30 on the older ones and a bit less on babies this year. I'll spend more on the babies when they are older but right now the things that are $15 are things they would like just as much as the things that are 25.

My oldest niece no longer gets presents. I don't for my sisters either.

My 21 year old niece gets presents because she is a friend more then just because she is my niece (she is the only niece I see outside of large family events) since she is now and adult and for the most part I don't buy for the adults (she also gets her present seperately so this isn't in anyone's face)

The 13 year old got a gift card as I had no idea what to get her (she mostly wanted clothes and I hate getting clothes from others and won't buy clothes for others)

The 1 and 2 year olds got toys.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Wow you can tell my nephews are the only kids.

I spent about $250 on clothes I'll chip in another couple hundred on the big gifts for them that will be from me their dad and my parents. I also gave them each $100 gas cards to 7-11. Oh and I helped my mom with stockings.

Yes they're spoiled but I will say that this was a great Christmas. Neither of them played the surly teenager card(16.5 yo). They loved their clothes, and said lots of thank yous, and they willingly took two rounds of pictures with smiles and laughter. And bonus there was no drama Hahaha.

We don't always get the total Christmas magic but this year we did.

People all have different budgets as well. It sounds like you spend more on your nieces and nephews than I spend on my own kids. We usually spend somewhere from $100-$250 for the main gift (depending on the year, what they want, how we are doing financially, etc), have another gift under the tree in the $30-50 range and about another $30-$50 on the stocking stuffers. So, what we spend on the niece and nephews is a decent percentage of what we spend on our own kids.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

For DH's family, there are about 25 grandkids. We don't even try to keep up! Some aunts/uncles buy something for their godchild only, or for the newest baby, or whomever they feel close to, have money for, or when they see something that would be "perfect" for one of the kids. There really are no rules, and we (and our kids) learned to be grateful and thankful for whatever anyone choses to give them, and to be gracious to the sibling who did get something. For example, DS9 got a gift on Christmas from his godfather (BIL) but DS15 and DD11 did not get anything from anyone at MIL's house. They know the drill and couldn't have cared less.

On my side, there are 14 (once the newest one is born in Jan) ranging from ages 17 to newborn. We do a one for one deal - however many kids you have, that's how many names you pick. So, I have three kids and therefore pick 3 names from a hat. One sister has one kid, so she picks one name, etc, etc. We have a $30-$50 range and it is our job to pick an amazing gift that is special and meaningful to the kid that we picked.

We started doing this when there were about 10 kids and we were just finding cheap $10 gifts to fulfill a need to get everyone something no matter what it was. It was getting silly - $10 giftcards to McD or a book or whatever. We all decided that it would be better for our kids to get ONE really awesome present from the heart than a bunch of garbage that didn't mean anything.

So now each weekend before Christmas, we all get together and we go from youngest to oldest, and each child takes a turn opening their gift. It is really fun to hit the bullseye on a gift and see the kids' reactions - this year, I drew my 2nd grade nephew's name. This kid has been into fans and air conditioners since he could walk (he's very mechanical-oriented) and I found the coolest model kit of a turbine engine that attached to a fan that he could build himself and it really worked. It was a Smithsonian toy and pretty high quality, not some cheap junky model thing. His eyes lit up with awe when he opened it and his reaction was so genuine and sincerely happy when he thanked me - I cried!

My oldest nephew is a senior in HS this year and my sisters and I did have a conversation about what to do next year when he is an "adult". We will either:

1. continue on with the gift exchange as is but have him choose a name to buy for instead of his mother buying it (this will be between him and his mother, not all of us)
2. have him join the adults basket exchange (but we will have to stop putting alcohol in the baskets, which none of us really want to stop doing)
3. Keep him in the kids' exchange until he is 21, then switch him over to the adults basket exchange.

 

[Andtototoo]

We gave to them until they hit 18. The gifts got smaller over time because they all stopped thanking us for them. I don't give good gifts to ungrateful brats.

This year, I have decided to stop sending gifts the last remaining niece who is 11. I got fed up this year watching her parents post pics on FB of them making, wrapping, and sending gifts to "loved ones'" and realize belatedly that it wasn't just that they didn't send gifts to anyone, but that we were not on the "loved ones" list to receive gifts. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they don't view us as "loved ones". So I don't need to work hours at a crappy job to buy her a gift.

 

[RedAngie]

I'm an only child, so no nieces and nephews to buy for. Until they were late teens, I bought gifts for my closest cousin's kids, and she did the same for my girls.

As a kid, aunts and uncles on my mother's side gave Christmas gifts to all the cousins. All my mother's siblings had at least two kids; one had five. My father used to grumble about paying for all those gifts and only getting one in return for me.

As for the horse, I wanted a pony as a child, and would have gladly thanked Jennasis for the gift. My father, on the other hand............even though she offered to keep it on her farm and pay for its upkeep.

 

[ronandannette]

...I'm sure some of my mystified reaction is due to the fact that I would have given my eye teeth for a horse when I was his age. I thought he was horsey. I guess not? I know he's only 10 but sheesh!

These kids today eh? LOL!

We could start a whole new thread to discuss the wisdom of getting other people gifts we ourselves like or feel like they should have...

 

[Jennasis]

We could start a whole new thread to discuss the wisdom of getting other people gifts we ourselves like or feel like they should have...

WhIch is why I said my thoughts were likely colored by what my own reaction would have been as a kid. Much akin to parents being disappointed when their kids don't go gaga over surprise Disney trips.

 

[cluvsdisney]

They all get $100. The older ones (15-20) get cash. The little ones (5-6) get checks and a toy.

This is how it goes for birthdays and Christmas.

 

[ronandannette]

WhIch is why I said my thoughts were likely colored by what my own reaction would have been as a kid. Much akin to parents being disappointed when their kids don't go gaga over surprise Disney trips.

I think you nailed it. Maybe try selling "his" horse and sending a cheque to your DSis for his college fund? Might get a more enthusiastic response, at least from his mom.

 

[bookgirl]

People all have different budgets as well. It sounds like you spend more on your nieces and nephews than I spend on my own kids. We usually spend somewhere from $100-$250 for the main gift (depending on the year, what they want, how we are doing financially, etc), have another gift under the tree in the $30-50 range and about another $30-$50 on the stocking stuffers. So, what we spend on the niece and nephews is a decent percentage of what we spend on our own kids.

Yep, I helped raise them and am still involved in their lives and because they are onlies they get the benefit of my discretionary income (after I pay for Disney haha). I always figure I don't have to spend the day to day bucks on two teenage male drivers who play competitive sports, drive cars, and (1) attend private school, so I'll splurge on their birthdays and Christmas. I do other stuff during the year like around the start of school I'll buy some shoes or clothes, and the occasional $20 just because, but gosh I'm glad I'm not responsible for their day to day living expenses.

I feel for the parent's out there.

 

[Pugsly]

My nephews are 26 and 24. I stopped giving gifts when they stopped being bothered to say thank you -- even when gifts were given in person. (I think they were in college.)

For that matter, I did the same with their mother (my older sister) - when I asked her if she had opened her card one year (I made a charitable donation in her name), she looked me straight in the eye and simply said "yes".
Done.

 

[justgrace]

.

 

[superme80]

I just cannot get over the rudeness of some children and adults. I am drilling in my children's heads to ALWAYS say thank you. DS #1 was not happy with his gift from MIL. I made him thank her properly. When we got home we explained about the pajamas, he has no idea who the Minions are, and then we thought of a way to spend his money he received. Once we purchase the season passes for the children's park and zoo, he will be much happier, and will be more enthusiastic when I make him write the in laws thank you a card.

 

[bethy]

This year we finally decided to stop buying gifts for nieces and nephews after they graduated from high school. I'm pretty sure some feathers were ruffled because that will mean that the oldest got gifts till age 26(!) whereas the others won't receive them that long. It was awkward at Christmas. DH's family is very big on things being "fair." Oh well, that's life. And yes, the thank yous were few and far between. They really preferred gift cards and honestly that was no fun for me as the gift giver. Ugh.