Wendy & Chuck's PJ and TR Merged 2/4/08 Escape SBP/JIKO: Updated 9/19-Pleasure Island

[Lisella]

Happy Birthday!!

I hope your head is better now. You make a nice big casserole (you should make it extra mushy LOL) and don't forget these

 

[Lizby]

Aww, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Sorry you weren't feeling well. I guess I am lucky because my FMIL get along fine, but I would definitely make the green bean casserole to spite her if she made a remark like that!

Also, can you explain about saving on your hotel room if you have Annual Passes? We booked our room at POFQ about three months ago and we are paying way more than $99/night. Right now we just have the vouchers for the Annual Passes that come with the Escape Wedding. Is it too late to save $$$? We only put a deposit down.

 

[DisneySweetie]

Wow, only families could cause green bean casserole drama. Did her Thanksgiving invite say "Manners Optional." Seriously, the hostess is not supposed to criticize what her guests bring before they even bring it. That's terrible and not at all thankful. Oh well, at least your DF will appreciate your effort.

Yay for POFQ honeymoon! That's where we're going. We looked into WL as well. But I kind of like being moderate resort people. It means we can stay at WDW longer and/or go more often. At least that's what I tell myself.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

[mla1977]

Okay, I am soooo hungry for some mushy green bean casserole right now. (Doesn't help that I had lunch at 1:30)

 

[lurkyloo]

Also, can you explain about saving on your hotel room if you have Annual Passes? We booked our room at POFQ about three months ago and we are paying way more than $99/night. Right now we just have the vouchers for the Annual Passes that come with the Escape Wedding. Is it too late to save $$$? We only put a deposit down.

You can call back and ask if they have the AP discount available for the nights you need at POFQ. As long as you have an active AP when you check in, you're ok. And some people have reported being able to check in without the active pass, but you might want to do that first just to be on the safe side...

 

[oneyodafan]

Happy Birthday!!!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

Holy cow! We really *are* wedding twins - my birthday is Sunday! HAPPY BIRFDAY, Mistress of All Evil!!
QUOTE]

We ARE twins. That's crazy and cool.

Good luck finishing your registry! The closer to closing you go, the less busy the store will be.

My FMIL MOVED Thanksgiving! The entire family is coming to her house on Friday instead of Thursday, but Rob and I are still expected to show up on both days with a covered dish! She doesnt trust me to cook anything either... even though I'm a darn good cook and she can burn water! She told me to stop at the store and pick up a pie instead!

This is sooo typical FMIL. She's actually commented because I use a vegetable peeler instead of peeling with a knife! Like it's not good enough b/c I don't do it her way.

Kristen, I'd say make the pie then put it in a box. When everyone says how good it is, fess up!

I agree!

I love mushy green bean casserole. We are being lazy this year. It is only me, DBF, and his little brother (no EMIL - I shouldn't say that, I might jinx it ). I ordered from Boston Market and I will be making the mushy green bean casserole and an apple pie (from my Kitchen Witch's Cookbook).
QUOTE]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Boston Market. Good Plan.

i am TOTALLY cooking to spite fmil. she never does a darned thing for the holidays, i'm expected to do EVERYTHING. so i'm making a turkey (already thawing in the fridge ) and a bunch of italian food that she's not going to like. too bad. what IS IT with the haterific mother in laws lately. geez! happy thanksgiving to us!!!
:cool2QUOTE]

IKD, why are they haterific?? And it's sooo messed up b/c my Mom LOVES DF, sometimes I think more than she loves me.

Aww, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Sorry you weren't feeling well. I guess I am lucky because my FMIL get along fine, but I would definitely make the green bean casserole to spite her if she made a remark like that!

Also, can you explain about saving on your hotel room if you have Annual Passes? We booked our room at POFQ about three months ago and we are paying way more than $99/night. Right now we just have the vouchers for the Annual Passes that come with the Escape Wedding. Is it too late to save $$$? We only put a deposit down.

I would try to call back and say that you're an annual passholder and inquire as to weather there are any discounts and if you can take advantage of them. I asked Sawyer, my operator, if just the vouchers were okay and he said that not only were they okay, but the hotel would convert them into passes for us. hth.

Thanks Everyone for all the Birthday and Green Bean Casserole wishes! The only good thing about having to work Friday is that we get to leave the inlaws house early on thrusday.

 

[lurkyloo]

I asked Sawyer, my operator, if just the vouchers were okay and he said that not only were they okay, but the hotel would convert them into passes for us. hth.

Oooh... not to rain on yer parade, but I think Sawyer was smoking something - the hotels can't turn AP vouchers into APs. You have to go to the Guest Relations at the parks or Downtown Disney. I'd hate for your plans to be messed up because you counted on activating those free APs at the hotel...

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

Oooh... not to rain on yer parade, but I think Sawyer was smoking something - the hotels can't turn AP vouchers into APs. You have to go to the Guest Relations at the parks or Downtown Disney. I'd hate for your plans to be messed up because you counted on activating those free APs at the hotel...

nah, i don't care where we activate them at. My biggest concern would be if they won't accept the vouchers when we check in ensure we get the AP rate. Although it's not that big of a deal to go where ever and redeem the vouchers for actual passes. However, everything I've ever heard or read says that the vouchers are fine when checking in.

 

[lurkyloo]

Oh, yes - vouchers are totally fine for checking in!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

Whew... Where to start?

Okay, how about the day before Thanksgiving. I was at work with my Scroogie boss who didn't let me leave early! (Which is weird b/c two Thanksgivings ago he at least let me leave an hour and a half early, last year I wasn't here for Thanksgiving.) So, after I leave work I decided that I'm going to skip class. My 8pm-10pm class was cancelled, but my 6-8pm was still on. Ugh. I calculated my grade out with missing the class and I still have a solid A up to this point, so I figured I needed a night off. Especially since I had to work and go to school on tuesday, my birthday. And since I had to work all day wednesday and TODAY! FRIDAY! THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING. So, I ended up packing up my scrapbook supplies and headed off to the scrapbook store to crop with two of my best girlfriends. I had a pretty productive evening and finished two beautiful 2-page layouts. My phone was on the verge of dying, so I plugged it in to charge at the crop and saw that I had a missed call from FMIL. I listened to her voice mail and everything seemed fine. I miss heard her message though and thought that she had said that she would see us around 3pm. I was thinking, hey that's great! I can get some done and clean up a little and then we can head over to there house in the afternoon.

DF and I are up and doing our own thing yesterday. Me cleaning and doing the and him playing on the computer or whatever it is he does. So, I hop in the shower around 12:30 and I spend a fair bit of time getting ready. Well, at 1:15pm DF mentions that he had a missed call from FMIL but that he hadn't called her back. So, I immediately go to call her back and I see that I have 3 missed calls from her. Well, come to find out she want to EAT at 3pm (I know this is normal in a lot of families, it's just not what I'm used to with my family. We eat at normal dinner time. Usually around 6pm or so.) So, that's fine. We're going to be there by 3 anyhow, but she's all upset that we haven't been there all day. So, we rush out the door at get there by 2:40pm.

Everything appeared to be fine other than everyone was in a pretty down mood. No one had much to say. I especially didn't b/c I've been so frustrated with all the wedding drama. And the last thing I need was to *mess* up the time for Thanksgiving so now it's my fault. FFIL has metal problems but refuses to admit it or get help. He's very depressed ever since they found the cancer. Despit the fact that his surgery OVER A YEAR AGO was successful and that he's been cancer free since, he refuses to live his life. He spends every day and night sitting in the same chair and moaning about how he's sick and can't do anything and tire and the "cancer's coming back." FMIL caters to this, waits on him hand a foot and then spends the whole time being sooooooo upset. Needless to say, it's not the most ideal situation in that home and they're dealing with some messed up issues. But this has been going on for years (5+) and they choose to continue living this way and acting out the same patterns. I don't really get involved b/c it's not my place. DF is disgusted with his father and his behavior and equally dissappointed in his mother for not having the backbone to say enough is enough. She just internalizes all the stress and takes it out on everyone else. (This all comes into play with the wedding.)

After a rather blah meal, we cleaned up the kitchen and just hung out for a bit and then we decided to have coffee and pie. This is when DF decided to confront his mother on all the wedding issues. The first thing he addressed was the shower and the fact that FMIL decided that she wasn't coming and that she wasn't inviting anyone. She said she didn't think that I wanted her there!?!?! That it wasn't a big deal to me!?! I think she made this all up in her head. Even though she was the one who said that it was too much of a hassle for her to rearrange her schedule and if she was out of town it was too big of a hassle to fly back in town for a weekend. DF broke it down that she has two children, that's two weddings and two showers and this was one of them, and was she really going to act like it was a inconvienence?? As soon as DF started talking to her about it, there was no problem. She was suddenly very able to arrange things to be at the shower. And then she listed a handfull of people who (her words) "really wanted to go" but that she wasn't inviting b/c she wasn't going to be there. So that was a rather painless issue to get through.

The more challenging issue was the at home reception. We have planned on having the party at her house (they have sooooo much land perfect for an outdoor party) at her insistance. And I love the land and I've always thought it would be wonderful to have a party there. DF explained to FMIL that in order for us to plan anything we needed to set a date and be firm. There was a lot of irrational excuses on her part. She said she didn't want to set a date because "what if the party doesn't happen." She's never heard of a "save the date card" and she thinks there stupid. If people want to come, they'll come, they don't need a save the date card. She's throwing the party so people should "do things my way." She was very, very resistant. She thought it was dumb that we planned on sending save the dates with our wedding announcements to link the wedding in FEBRUARY with an at home party/reception in JUNE!!!!! DF explained to her that this was very important to him, me and our friends and people we know. Her real issue (which I had figured) was that she didn't know how FFIL was going to feel and what if they went to his Doctors appt in April or May and the cancer has come back!! What if he's sick and doesn't want to have a party?? What if, what if, what it. DF told his mom that it was absurd to spend your whole life waiting for the next doctor appt. And so what if he ends up being sick, does that mean we're not going to have a party?? EVER? Even if we delayed setting a date and sending invitations in May, FFIL could wake up the day of the party and decide he's sick. Are we going to call 150 people and cancel? She was being very irrational, and DF said that it was fine, we wouldn't have the party at the house that we would reserve an area at a park and bring everything into a park location, etc... She was very upset but not budging. Finally, She saw that DF was very serious. He told his mom she could live her life waiting for the next doctor appointment and never planning on anything, but that this was his wedding and his life and he wasn't putting it on hold. He was having a party regardless of where it was and that if she chose to miss it that was her problem. He insited that he would not put his life on hold. DF told her that we were setting a date, and we would be sending save the dates to our friends and people on our guest list regardless of whether she wanted us to send them to her people.

FMIL finally agreed to setting a date even though she insisted that she hated the "save the date idea, it's stupid, i've never heard of it in 60-70 years of my life." However, once we set a date, she started talking through all of the people she wanted to invite, many of which live out of state. I explained to her how much better it was to send them save the dates rather than just an invitation 4-6 weeks out so that they could plan on being in town. She agreed but insisted that she still didn't like save the dates b/c she's never heard of them.

Then DF brought up the whole shirt issue... which he told me wasn't a big deal and I had decided to just accept and I wasn't going to say ANYTHING. He explained to his mom how disappointed I was that she was matching the wedding party and wearing the exact same colors and that it was something important to me. She was all upset that I hadn't said anything to her and I asked her how I could when she was soooooooo EXCITED about the top? She would have cried if I told her I didn't want her to wear it. She claimed that I can talk to her and tell her anything but she responds so differently to me than she does her own children. So we came to the compromise that she would try to find something that she liked different, but if she couldn't then she would just wear the top that she already bought. Which is totally fine with me, I'm just soooo shocked that DF brought it up b/c he kept telling me how insignificant and trivial it was.

Anyhow, I think that we made some progress and things are going to go the way DF and I want them to. We'll have to see how well she lives up to everything we talked about.

Aside fromt that, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was so-so. Like my birthday, like this whole week. And now it's Friday and I'm at work. Mine is the only car in the lot. My Scroogie boss isn't even here yet, but I've been here since 8am. The phone hasn't rang at all. How sweet it would have been to stay at home snuggled up with DF and then get up and have breakfast together and then clean up and work on the million and one things that I need to get done for the wedding, for school, for my life, whatever. I'm very, very bitter that I'm at work right now. And this holiday season will put me over the edge and I will be looking for a new job directly after the wedding! (<-- me reading the want ads, lol.)

That was a lot, thanks for reading!!

 

[MeowGoddes]

Stay strong!
It sounds very trying, dealing with the FMIL and all, but I kept thinking to myself while reading, wow what a great DF! Standing up for himself and you and what you guys want... it is just WOW! What it all comes down to is you and your DF and beginning this new journey together, everything else is just background music!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

Stay strong!
It sounds very trying, dealing with the FMIL and all, but I kept thinking to myself while reading, wow what a great DF! Standing up for himself and you and what you guys want... it is just WOW! What it all comes down to is you and your DF and beginning this new journey together, everything else is just background music!

I KNOW!! DF has been AMAZING. He was on a roll. He never yelled or raised his voice, but he was very committed to making his points and sticking to what we want. DF let's a lot go and he's a very laid back guy. Not a lot bothers him. But it is wonderful to see him really stand up for me and for us when it really matters. I was shocked that he even brought up the shirt issue as he had convinced me to let it go.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

wow wendy! i'm so glad your df stuck up for you guys! your fmil seems like a peice of work...

i'm sorry that you have to work today! not to make light of your disappointment, but i quit a company a few months ago, and those people had to work yesterday...who wants to buy a house on thanksgiving!!!

things will get better, christmas time is here!!!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

Things are getting done. Slowly but Surely. Saturday, we went to the post office and I applied for my passport. I was all set to pay $200 total to include the expidited service. However, the lady said that I had enough time and that it should be totally fine and she convinced me to just go with the regular service and that I should get my passport in time. I sure hope so. I don't want to be panicked at the last minute b/c my passport hasn't come in yet. Not that we've actually even booked our honeymoon yet. So, it was a lot more affordable than doing the expedited. It was $67 for the passport and then $30 for the acency (post office) fee and $15 for the pictures. To expidite it, it would have been another $60 plus over $30 for the express shipping. It wasn't too difficult to convince me to save the extra $90. And my pictures came out beautifully!! That makes me really happy considering you keep the same passport for 10 years.

After the post office, we had a ton of running around to do. We finally made it to Macy's and registered for dishes, flatware, glasses and stemware. That's about it folks. We got most everything else at BB&B. I know I made the BB&B registering experience sound awful, but compared to Macy's, it was comfortable. In the sense that we fit in there and nearly everything we needed or wanted was available. I'm just dissappointed that we weren't able to agree on dinnerware at BB&B, b/c I would have skipped Macy's all together. The problem with Macy's, for me anyhow, is that it's trying to be nicer than it is. I remember fonder days when Macy's was Hudson's (at least here in MI) and it was the 'nicer' department store. Now, everything seems run down and disorganized and kinda thrown out there. And this isn't just the one store we went to. It's all the Macy's in the area. Maybe it's a Michigan/Metro Detroit Area thing. And we kept explaining to the consultant that we weren't registering for china or silverware or crystal but she kept pushing it on us rather than helping us identify the areas of the store we would be interested in. So we just scanned what we need and got the heck out of there. We didn't linger for too long. lol. I figured I can't fix or adjust anything I need to online. Thank goodness.

Also on Saturday, FMIL called (in the morning before we left to do our running around) and wanted to know what to get DF for Christmas. She asked if he needed clothes and socks. I said, "The man does NOT want socks for Christmas!!" Then she made the comment that she knows DF really wants a new computer but that's too much $$ and he needs to pay off his debt first! Okay, there are several reasons why this comment from her made me want to flip my lid. 1.) DF has excellent credit (high 700's) and is carrying debt from when he was unemployed after the corporation he worked for went bankrupt and layed off a ton of people. 2.) DF has been diligent in paying down his debt and working to live cash only. He charges nothing! 3.) DF would never even think to ask his Mom to buy a computer for him. 4.) FSIL is in massive cc debt and never pays her bills. EVER. 5.) FSIL has been bailed out of this type of massive cc debt twice already by FMIL. 6.) FSIL has a cc in her name that FMIL pays for and buys everything on it included a brand new macbook laptop in august and the new top of the line cannon digital camera last week! Needless to say, it really frosted my buttons that she would even say something like that. We don't really ask her for anything. She's the one who volunteers for things and then backs out of them b/c she doesn't realize how much $$ they really are. Whatever. So, I told her I'd have to figure out what DF wanted in a 'reasonable' price range and call her back. Then I remembered that DF wanted a Nintendo DS, so I called her right back and told her and even let her know she could buy it at Wal-Mart, lol. Since she doesn't venture out anywhere. She wrote it down. We'll see if she manages not to screw it up. Ugh. I'm okay. I just get frustrated that DF get's the short end of the stick. Why is that?? Oh yeah, b/c he's the boy and we have to "take care" of the girl. She's too helpless to get a job or support herself. Okay. Mini-rant over.

So, that was Saturday in a nutshell. Sunday I went to scrapbook all day. That was awsome. I finished 3 - 2page layouts done. I got home around 6 and DF and I made dinner and did laundry and cleaned up a bit. Overall, it was a productive weekend. However, I never finished my assignment due tonight (I wanted to clean up the spare room instead?!?), so I have to crank that out today while I'm at work.

 

[lurkyloo]

Oh my gosh - you have your work cut out for you with FMIL! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this on top of the wedding planning and the job, etc. But you are very lucky to have a supportive DF - that's what really matters!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

We haven't received the actual RSVP yet, but DF talked to yet another of his friends who will not be attending the wedding.

I'm so heartbroken. I just want to 'fix' it or make it better and there is nothing I can do.

DF has had 3 people (that he considered really close friends) back out on him. And the frustrating part of it all was that we discussed with each person, well before ever sending the invites, the parameters of the wedding. I don't understand why all these people agreed to go and are now backing out. All are citing money issues (which for one seems really legitimate, but the other two it's just an excuse.)

I cried all night last night, I think I might be more upset than DF (b/c I'm upset for him!) He's been amazing about it though. He confesses that he's disappointed, but beyond that he's a rock! Saying all the right things, etc. to reassure me that it's all right.

Ugh... I'll be okay. I'm just worried about DF.

 

[lurkyloo]

I'm so sorry all of DF's friends are backing out, but the important thing is that his BEST friend will be there - you!

 

[PrincessBrideKatie]

I'm so sorry. Like Lurkyloo said, at least his best friend will be there. I know you feel bad for him, but just know that its going to be amazing, no matter who is or isnt there.

I'm having the complete opposite, not only is everyone saying they are going to come, there are others that want invites. And DF and I keep thinking of more people that we should have invited.

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

I am starting to feel the crunch, I tell you what... with my ticker showing only 66 days, it's starting to freak me out. Can you beleive that I hadn't sent in my planning worksheets yet? So, I just did that this morning and I emailed my planner too. Hopefully we'll be able to set up a phone appointment sometime soon, in the next week or so. We're not doing a lot of crazy stuff and don't have a lot of extras, so I'm not toooo worried. But I guess I just want to be reassured of all the little stuff.