Well then YOU make dinner...

[hereyago]

Heck, sometimes I make myself cereal for dinner when I am really tired,lol

 

[jujube]

OP, let your family serve themselves. Tell them they have to leave enough for everyone and if there's any food left, they can have seconds.

 

[CurlyJo224]

OP, I don't know about your family, but can I come over for dinner? That sounds like an ideal dinner, similar to the kind of thing my mom (also from Texas) makes.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My mom started leaving everything on the counter/stove and having us come up and make our own plate (with help when we were too young to do it ourselves). That way we got it the first time with what we wanted/how we wanted it. Something so easy made dinner time more enjoyable.

I dislike my food touching and I prefer to put one item on my plate at a time (take veggies/eat them, take chicken/eat it...).

She still does it this way when it's just her and my dad.

This was my first thought as well. It sounds like 95% of the frustrations could be solved by NOT preplating the meals for the family. Either set everything on the table and pass dishes or send everyone to the kitchen to fill their own.

 

[powellrj]

I agree, make it easy on yourself and let them plate their own food at the stove. Everyone wins!

 

[mtemm]

I totally hear you, I HATE putting all the effort in to plan/shop/prepare meals only to be met at the table with moans and groans. so frustrating! about 3 weeks ago I finally had it with my kids (10,8,8) and lost it at the dinner table. not something I normally do, and not something I liked doing. in our case it was one kid who thinks that we have chicken evvverrrrryyyy night, and another who moans and groans if any form of pasta shows up, and a third who struggles with certain vegetables.

After I calmed down I sat down with the 3 of them and told them calmly how I was feeling, and that I didn't like how any of us, including me, had acted. I told them how much I hated the battles, and needed this to change. I suggested we try an experiment. I would take a large white board and hang it, and on the left side I would list that week's meals every sunday night, so they could see exactly what we were having each night for the week. I also really made sure I was mixing our meals up a lot, and including things at each meal that each kid liked.

on the right hand side of the board I put "suggestions for future meals" and that is where the kids can list the foods they would love to see show up on the menu sometime. they know it may not make it there the following week, but it just might, and honestly so far I have tried to make most of them happen.

They are having a BLAST with this. and even more importantly, we have had wonderful, peaceful, battle free meals for the past 3 weeks. its been heaven. and their suggestions are really good! added bonus is that it is really forcing me to know a week ahead of time what i am making, so when I grocery shop on monday I have a clearer picture of what I need for the week and I think we are having less food waste, and fewer trips to the store during the rest of the week to pick up this or that. occasionally I need to grab more fruit or another gallon of milk, but that's it.

I also stopped forcing broccoli or mixed veg down my dd's throat, and told her if she had a salad on those nights, I would be fine with her missing it.

for the op, I agree about what others have said about allowing the kids to plate their own food. at least try it as an experiment and see if that helps. can't hurt, right?

 

[BGK]

A while back, when my father was living with me, I made a shrimp boil. Although knowing that my father hates shrimp, I made the shrimp in a pot all of their own. No seafood touched the other foods (corn, potatoes, and sausage).

Oh I know this. I live alone, and my mother is a widow also living alone and not an especially good cook (that was my father's capably-handled job), so I have her over a few nights a week. It's little more effort to cook for two versus one. That assumes, though, that both people have the same eating habits.

My mother's home eating habits are devolving into that of a fussy three-year-old. She won't eat poultry (to be fair, she didn't even before I was born), things which are too leafy, too dark green, and a host of other things which seem like pure hang-ups to me. For example, I have to make two salads, as she won't eat the dark green ends of Romaine leaves.

I've gotten used to seeing her face seize up when I carry plates to the table, before even seeing what I've made. She will, naturally, violently deny this. Then she spends 20 minutes pushing the food around her plate, chewing as if she has a mouth full of mush. The garbage disposal eats very well at my house.

We've had some marathon arguments over this. I beg and plead for her to just tell me what she wants, but she gets very mulish and won't, aside from grilled cheese, tuna salad, and hot dogs, which I've started to make on a regular rotation (at least for her).

The sad part is that she's an ever-more adventuresome restaurant eater. She'll tuck into things when eating out that would have her doing Roger Rabbit around my house if I served them.

First world problems, yes. Those of you who would say, "let her feed herself, then," I doubt very much would stand by and watch one of their getting-on-in-years parents feed herself with toast or Frosted Flakes every day.

I wasn't a difficult eater past the age of 8. Up to that point, I had chronically enlarged tonsils and adenoids, so everything smelled and tasted like paste, so no, I wasn't much on eating. After having those out, good God did I ever make up for lost time.

 

[BGK]

Hilarious! I should focus on my cat's appreciation! Hahah! Thanks for this...it make me laugh! and Smile!

Excuse me, but my Maine Coon cat Sophia:

is my best dinner guest. She's a shameless mooch, and begs at the table every time I eat. She'll eat most anything I give her. Here she is with her own plate of the bread pudding I made a few Thanksgivings ago:

which I had to hide from her in the cabinet. She spent three hours meeping and just about throwing herself at the cabinet door to get at it.

 

[swandiverpatt]

Dinner wars and efforts of cooking. I hear you. I often wonder what's the point going through the effort and then having it eaten in 15-20 minutes and it's done.

It's just my adult daughter, my DH and me living in our house and I'm the planner/buyer/cook. I stopped eating beef, pork, and anything that walks on 4 legs about 3 years ago. I will, however, cook this for the others.

However, if I use ground turkey in a recipe (or turkey sausages, etc.) DH won't eat it. He's gotten wise that if *I* eat it, it's not beef and "the texture just isn't right."

There are crackers and cheese or whatever he can scrounge for that night.

 

[spacemountainmom]

OP - I hear ya. It is so frustrating to cook a meal and have everyone complain. One night a few months ago both kids and DH were complaining about dinner. It really made me mad since usually DH doesn't complain about food. I just calmly told them if they didn't like it they could have cereal or a sandwich.

THEN - I put my plan into place. For the next two weeks, I made all of the things that I love and they don't like so well. I normally do not cook these very often since I know they aren't as fond of them as I am. It didn't take too long for them to get the hint. I kept it up for two weeks to make my point.

My daughter started griping a couple weeks ago and DH told her to knock it off. He then told her that he didn't want me to get angry and make all my stuff again.

 

[ccgirl]

I JUST got through making a nice dinner.

Nothing fancy, but a nice hamburger patty, homemade mashed potatoes drizzled with pan gravy, fried okra, peas-n-carrots, and a cucumber salad.

I'm servin' it up. DS8 IMMEDIATELY starts complaining how he doesn't want any gravy. Can you gimmie a break and just TASTE it before you all start complaining about what you don't like and what you didn't get?

I serve everybody else while he is whining how he's not eating, and DS14 who has just taken TWO bites asks if there are more pototoes. Seriously? How about eat what's on your plate first?

I take DS8's plate and take off the okra (DH isn't a fan and that's OK, that's why I made a couple of options) and fix a new one for him without gravy and present it to him. (And by the way, I don't fix everybody everything, I have a plan, I cook, they are supposed to eat, and they are all very good eaters.)

Not 10 seconds later I turn around because I'm FINALLY going to get to enjoy the meal I made, and see DS8 at the stove putting gravy on his meat and potatoes. REALLY???

So I go off on a rant. And DH asks me, "What'd you do THAT for?"

Excuse me? I just put together a nice meal and almost EVERY night I have to hear someone complain about something. Does anyone ever stop to think how the cook feels? And I don't just slap junk together, I put thought into the dinners I make, is it SO wrong that I would just like to sit down and enjoy the meal without any complaining? I mean give me a break! I was so frustrated I left to my room. I wanted to cry.

OK, that's my rant. Thanks for listening. Sigh...I'll get over it.

I hear ya! It so frustrating. In my house, nobody starts eating until we all sit down and say grace. But, if anyone wants seconds they have to get it themselves. Once it cooked and put on a plate; I am done.

They know their option, if they do not like the dinner, is to fix their own sandwich.

 

[Nancyg56]

I recently read an article that said if you let kids serve themselves they're more likely to eat better and try new things. It seems to work well when we do that.

I agree with this and see that there are others as well. I always served meals family style and everyone helped themselves. I understand why folks preplate but I doubt that any of the OP's frustration would have occurred if the family simply got their own food.

 

[MichelleVW]

This was my first thought as well. It sounds like 95% of the frustrations could be solved by NOT preplating the meals for the family. Either set everything on the table and pass dishes or send everyone to the kitchen to fill their own.

Agreed! I understand the frustration OP, but I try not to get stressed out over food. I think I stopped making my kids plates when they were about 6 or 7. They know what they like and honestly I don't like to fight over food so they eat what they want and it's actually always been pretty healthy.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I agree with this and see that there are others as well. I always served meals family style and everyone helped themselves. I understand why folks preplate but I doubt that any of the OP's frustration would have occurred if the family simply got their own food.

My mother used to plate our food, and I could never understand why (although that way she could serve out of the pot rather than dirty a bowl for the table).

Maybe OPs problem is why I love having my kids' friends over -- they seem so much more appreciative of the food than my kids are (and my kids are less likely to complain!).

My huge dinnertime issue is when I tell everyone it's time for dinner and to come to the table. Everyone who was bugging me about "When's Dinner?" scatters and I hear crickets as I sit alone at the table. I've tried 5 minute warnings, etc. and nothing seems to fix this.

 

[Nancyg56]

My mother used to plate our food, and I could never understand why (although that way she could serve out of the pot rather than dirty a bowl for the table).

Maybe OPs problem is why I love having my kids' friends over -- they seem so much more appreciative of the food than my kids are (and my kids are less likely to complain!).

My huge dinnertime issue is when I tell everyone it's time for dinner and to come to the table. Everyone who was bugging me about "When's Dinner?" scatters and I hear crickets as I sit alone at the table. I've tried 5 minute warnings, etc. and nothing seems to fix this.

My Mom had us get our food off of the stove too and I hated it. She plated our food when we were young. When my kids were young their father died. I figured I better make meal times a family time for all of us and so most nights i set the table, put the food in serving dishes and we all sat together. I did kidnap any adult who would eat with us The man I later married was my most frequent guest

As the kids got older we continued to have dinner together with the table set and food laid out. There was no TV on and no phone calls and no late entries. When dinner was on the table i called everyone and no one ate until we all sat down. We always seemed to have extra kids at meal times so that also made a difference.

I think that you could make a point of telling the family what time dinner is served, get the kids to take the dishes to the table so that you are not in this alone. Or have one set the table while the other is in the kitchen helping you get ready for dinner. No one gets to scatter, they need to be there unless they are at work. That was our rule.

Now it is just Dh and me and honestly, we miss those days when the table was filled. We eat together but not at the table anymore so I turned into my mother

 

[worm761]

Honestly, I would go on strike. It is one thing to not like what I have cooked. It is completely another to complain before you have even eaten it. Don't get me wrong, not everything that I make is good. Sometimes the recipe just turns out bad. But you don't get to say you don't like/want something until you have tasted it. That being said, I always always have a back up plan when trying a new recipe. Which we do 3-4 times a month. (I am secretly a recipe hoarder. )

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, some people have some serious food-control issues.

Who gives a flip whether somebody doesn't think they want gravy.
Or, who cares if somebody else likes extra potatos.

Ask yourself, is that really something worth wanting to slap somebody up-side the head over?

No wonder your husband wondered what you were 'going off' about when you went on a rant.

Methinks it is time to lighten up about food!!!!!

Believe me, my son, who does have some disability/issues, was absolutely bona-fide eating disorder when he was very little.

I have BTDT.

My advice, you do not want to make every bite of food to be a battle ground.
The dinner table does not have to be a war zone.
Food and control issues should never go together.

 

[RadioFanatic]

this just happened to me the past couple of days with my dh. bc dh likes it (and I hate it!), sunday I made corn beef and cabbage - well, he decided he didn't like the cut of the corn beef and wouldn't eat it again. so I repurposed it last night into reubens, which he loves, so it wouldn't be wasted. the moans and groans from him were like a dying cow! I told him to try it bc I made sure it pick the "good" pieces of the corn beef (if there are such a thing) for the sandwiches. finally he tried it - two sandwiches later, I asked if it was okay - I got an admitted yes. Sad thing is I ate it both nights even though I hate it to begin with bc I hate waste! and shockingly, I didn't make any complaints either. what children!

 

[Elmck]

I must be the mean mom If my first 5 kids complained about the food on their plates they got an extra portion of that food. If they did not finish dinner no dessert and I have been known to wrap it up and save it for their next meal. They were allowed one food to dislike and I would not serve that to them but those foods did not appear every meal. Now I only have #6 at home and she has the same rules. Last night we had spinach (I only gave her a tablespoon) she almost complained but caught herself and at it first so it was off her plate.

 

[worm761]

Wow, some people have some serious food-control issues.

Who gives a flip whether somebody doesn't think they want gravy.
Or, who cares if somebody else likes extra potatos.

Ask yourself, is that really something worth wanting to slap somebody up-side the head over?

No wonder your husband wondered what you were 'going off' about when you went on a rant.

Methinks it is time to lighten up about food!!!!!

Believe me, my son, who does have some disability/issues, was absolutely bona-fide eating disorder when he was very little.

I have BTDT.

My advice, you do not want to make every bite of food to be a battle ground.
The dinner table does not have to be a war zone.
Food and control issues should never go together.

It isn't necessarily about control. I don't care if DS, DD, my father, or fiance like or even eat what I make. But the day they become UNGRATEFUL for the time and effort I put into making them healthy meals is the day I stop cooking for them until they learn to appreciate that I made an effort to do so.