Well then YOU make dinner...

[apnep]

I JUST got through making a nice dinner.

Nothing fancy, but a nice hamburger patty, homemade mashed potatoes drizzled with pan gravy, fried okra, peas-n-carrots, and a cucumber salad.

I'm servin' it up. DS8 IMMEDIATELY starts complaining how he doesn't want any gravy. Can you gimmie a break and just TASTE it before you all start complaining about what you don't like and what you didn't get?

I serve everybody else while he is whining how he's not eating, and DS14 who has just taken TWO bites asks if there are more pototoes. Seriously? How about eat what's on your plate first?

I take DS8's plate and take off the okra (DH isn't a fan and that's OK, that's why I made a couple of options) and fix a new one for him without gravy and present it to him. (And by the way, I don't fix everybody everything, I have a plan, I cook, they are supposed to eat, and they are all very good eaters.)

Not 10 seconds later I turn around because I'm FINALLY going to get to enjoy the meal I made, and see DS8 at the stove putting gravy on his meat and potatoes. REALLY???

So I go off on a rant. And DH asks me, "What'd you do THAT for?"

Excuse me? I just put together a nice meal and almost EVERY night I have to hear someone complain about something. Does anyone ever stop to think how the cook feels? And I don't just slap junk together, I put thought into the dinners I make, is it SO wrong that I would just like to sit down and enjoy the meal without any complaining? I mean give me a break! I was so frustrated I left to my room. I wanted to cry.

OK, that's my rant. Thanks for listening. Sigh...I'll get over it.

 

[Cantw8]

Ohhh, I hear ya. It makes you just want to slap the crap out of them, doesn't it? Just know that it's not just you. Your meal sounds delicious except for that okra thing

 

[ceemys]

I feel ya! My kids are always complaining about dinner every night. sigh. They have to eat it anyway.

 

[apnep]

makes you just want to slap the crap out of them, doesn't it?

YES to this.

Thanks. I needed someone on my side. Fried okra isn't for everyone.

 

[HannaBelle]

Sorry OP!

Been there, done that and cried in my room. It stinks...feel free to vent away!

 

[Goofyluver]

A while back, when my father was living with me, I made a shrimp boil. Although knowing that my father hates shrimp, I made the shrimp in a pot all of their own. No seafood touched the other foods (corn, potatoes, and sausage).

I served my father first, ensuring that no shrimp so much as got within a foot of his plate.

And do you know that this grown man STILL refused to eat this fabulous meal. Why? Because I called it "shrimp boil", even though his food had no shrimp and had never touched shrimp.

I about blew a gasket. I don't remember what he ate that night. All I remember is him turning to me and saying, "I'm not eating THAT." And this was YEARS ago.

It's so nice to now be surrounded by people who appreciate my cooking. And I think that's the difference. You don't always have to like everything, but please appreciate what goes in to making a meal. (Although my family is made up of good eaters, who generally are open to trying anything)

You're not a short-order cook. If they want it their way, tell 'em to hightail their behinds down to Burger King.

 

[StephMK]

OMG, I understand and would gladly eat your dinner without complaining - even the okra, which I've never tasted. I HATE to cook dinner for my family.

I'm the first to admit my younger kids are terrible eaters. DD12 is the worst & I blame multiple ear infections & antibiotics when she was table food age. Plus DH caters to them, but anyway, here we are.

No matter what I make, someone complains. Even if they ate it fine a few weeks ago. Drives me nuts. I do remember my mom storming off one night and crying in her room when I was a kid. Now I get it.

 

[hereyago]

OP: hugs to you.

DD is 13 and can cook her own food if she doesn't like what I am cooking, but she is pretty good at eating.

my mom78-holy crap she has gotten more picky, when you are older your taste buds change, but she was picky before that.

She didn't cook, like ever since I was born, beggers can't be choosers, she can fix herself a nice egg salad sandwich i have turned in my greasy spoon short order cook hat.

Sometimes I claim "everyone" for your self night,lol.

 

[kathie859]

OP...I feel your angst!!!! My adult kids 30 & 37 still talk about the night I lost it when I served dessert and, by the time I sat down, they had finished I was soooooo upset. We had a sincere talk about waiting for me to at least sit down before they inhaled their food. I guess they were about 5 and 11 at the time.

Just think of your rant as a character building moment for your kids

 

[tigercat]

I feel for you. Sometimes I wonder why I even cook. On Sunday I was running a fever and really felt awful so for the first time I told them all to figure out what was going to be for supper, make it and clean it up. Now my 2 kids that are still home are 31 so not little. They decided on cold cuts on buns. My dh went and got everything and they all made their own sandwiches. That part was good except there was no way I could eat it. I asked my husband to warm up some frozen homemade turkey soup. He brought it up from the freezer downstairs and put it in the freezer up on the main floor. I heated it up. I also ended up cleaning things up. At least I didn't cook. The other thing is after spending time cooking a nice meal I hate it when I call them for dinner and no one comes for a while. AHHHH Again, I feel for you.
tigercat

 

[apnep]

It's so nice to now be surrounded by people who appreciate my cooking. And I think that's the difference.

Exactly.

You're not a short-order cook. If they want it their way, tell 'em to hightail their behinds down to Burger King.

You got that right!

OMG, I understand and would gladly eat your dinner without complaining - even the okra, which I've never tasted.

I do remember my mom storming off one night and crying in her room when I was a kid. Now I get it.

Thank you! You should try okra. It's tasty! I call my mom often and apologize.

Sometimes I claim "everyone" for your self night,lol.

I do this too, or tell them to eat cereal.

I guess what set me off was DS8 making SUCH a big deal out of not having the gravy. Usually I would say "Then don't eat." But I was trying to make sure I wasn't the one being unreasonable so I fixed him another plate, and when I saw him putting gravy on it I got so mad I wanted to fling the food through the kitchen window. And then my DH making ME feel like the bad guy. Ugh...I did, I felt completely unappreciated. I still feel like DH should apologize to me. He cleaned the kitchen and got everyone off to their rooms and bed but still...

 

[Forevryoung]

I guess what set me off was DS8 making SUCH a big deal out of not having the gravy. Usually I would say "Then don't eat." But I was trying to make sure I wasn't the one being unreasonable so I fixed him another plate, and when I saw him putting gravy on it I got so mad I wanted to fling the food through the kitchen window. And then my DH making ME feel like the bad guy. Ugh...I did, I felt completely unappreciated. I still feel like DH should apologize to me. He cleaned the kitchen and got everyone off to their rooms and bed but still...

My mom started leaving everything on the counter/stove and having us come up and make our own plate (with help when we were too young to do it ourselves). That way we got it the first time with what we wanted/how we wanted it. Something so easy made dinner time more enjoyable.

I dislike my food touching and I prefer to put one item on my plate at a time (take veggies/eat them, take chicken/eat it...).

She still does it this way when it's just her and my dad.

 

[rascooby]

My kids complain almost every night. I've resigned myself to the fact that they're picky and I can't please them. They have to be nice, take a few bites, and I always make sure they have enough fruit and veggies at the meal to fill up when they don't like the main course. Sometimes my husband complains a little because he doesn't like a recipe. It does drive me a little crazy.

BUT... lately I've started making homeade dog food for my Great Dane. He is so happy and thankful! He licks his bowl clean and then looks for more. I love that! What a good boy.

 

[rascooby]

My mom started leaving everything on the counter/stove and having us come up and make our own plate (with help when we were too young to do it ourselves).

I recently read an article that said if you let kids serve themselves they're more likely to eat better and try new things. It seems to work well when we do that.

 

[pigletgirl]

Ahh, I remember putting my mother thru hell at dinner. I am sorry now for doing that, and I guess I never realized how much it upset her.

OP!

 

[apnep]

BUT... lately I've started making homeade dog food for my Great Dane. He is so happy and thankful! He licks his bowl clean and then looks for more. I love that! What a good boy.

Hilarious! I should focus on my cat's appreciation! Hahah! Thanks for this...it make me laugh! and Smile!

 

[Gigi22]

I remember making my own breakfasts every week day through high school. It didn't kill me, and my Mom could make sure the younger kids got their breakfast.

 

[disykat]

Everytime my kids pulled that I tried to remember that it meant I needed to re-evaluate the rules. What ended up working best for us was

1) if you try (even a tiny bite counts) everything and don't complain or make faces everyone's happy and there are no food wars. No one has to clean a plate, just no complaining. You're allowed to eat a provided snack later or even make yourself a sandwich if you're still hungry. (Of course that meant cleaning up any dishes, messes etc. you might make.)
2) everyone is allowed ONE food they never have to eat - one of my sons chose cauliflower the other one chose...... pizza!
3) complaining means you get sent away from the table and your food plate gets covered and put in the fridge for when they get hungry. No other food allowed until breakfast the next morning.

My kids figured out pretty quickly that trying everything and sitting pleasantly at dinner was much easier than fussing and carrying on and going hungry. Usually once they'd taken one bite they ended up eating more rather than having to make themselves a sandwich. Plus they knew they'd be allowed to snack before bed if they were pleasant - otherwise their only choice until breakfast would be their uneaten dinner.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

We lived in a third world country before I got to the food-wars stage with my kids and seeing children who were literally starving changed my attitude about my kids and food (not to mention fussy cat food comercials) forever.

My attitude could be summed up like this:

"This is dinner. Eat it, don't eat it. I just don't want to hear about it one way or the other. So no talking/negotiating about the food on your plate during mealtime. The kitchen is closed after dinner, and if you're hungry, breakfast comes around in the morning. And by the way, if we happen to be having dessert, you know, of course, that if you aren't hungry enough to eat all your dinner you're obviously not hungry enough to have dessert."

Each child was allowed to pick two items (period) that s/he could refuse to be served. (Brussel sprouts and lima beans spring to mind for one child, if I recall correctly.) But no long ridiculous negotiations about "how many peas do I have to eat?" IMO there are more interesting dinner conversations.

This worked for us. Mealtime was peaceful in our house.

 

[Carina]

O.P I really think having the kids serve themselves would eliminate some of (sounds like 'most of' judging by that post) the problems.

One kid could have had no gravy ( or the amount he wanted where he wanted it)
The other could have had more potatoes
and DH could have had no okra.

You could always interject if someone was taking to much of something or nothing of a food that was manditory (for eg you must take at least one scoop of veggies)


Not trying to turn this around to make it your fault, just saying a re-assesment of how things are done may help dinner run a little smoother!