Weird situation--what would you do?

[donaldlovesdaisy]

Very pretty dress! This really is a weird story and I am not sure how I would handle it. unbelievable how the mom lied to you about all of this if my dd took and wore someone else’s dress I would not be covering for her at all and would have made sure the dress was replaced but that is just me.

 

[mamamary]

Such a weird story. The dress is beautiful. My dd would love it. I would def. confront the mother on this - no way would I let this go.

 

[penn19]

http://i3.dreamprom.com/0/235/235194_2_100000_620.jpg

We ordered it in royal blue.

That is a beautiful dress! She still shouldn't have lied to you or anything! But it is so beautiful.

 

[t_daniels]

No update yet. It's my daughter's birthday so we took her out to dinner, and now I am watching the debate while surfing the net. I did drop the dress off at a cleaners who said they would try to repair the damage and clean it. I was going to wait and show it to the mom, but I was afraid I wouldn't get it back in time. I still plan on confronting the mom.

Did you take pictures of the damage?

 

[lorimay]

I love the dress!

I say it over and over...... What makes people tick?!?!?!?!?!

I feel bad for your daughter that she is in this position.
I know about girlfriends and how important they are to each other.

The mother is a whack job for sure.

 

[bellebud]

however you handle it, one thing for sure is I personally would have my radar up for this family from now on. I wouldn't be comfortable w/ my dd going over there anymore. The girl would be allowed at my house if my dd was still friends with her, but that's it.

oh, and I love, love, love the dress!!!

 

[t_daniels]

however you handle it, one thing for sure is I personally would have my radar up for this family from now on. I wouldn't be comfortable w/ my dd going over there anymore. The girl would be allowed at my house if my dd was still friends with her, but that's it.

oh, and I love, love, love the dress!!!

Exactly. Lying about something like that.. You never know what other behavior is considered good to go for her.

True, this could be a one time thing not necessarily indicative of everything she does....

But the fact that she didn't even try to conceal the fact that it'd been worn...and still lied about it? Red flag. She either thinks , imo, that you guys aren't perceptive enough to notice... Or for whatever reason just doesn't care.:/

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Such a beautiful dress. If the girls were younger, I would definitely approach the mom but since they are older teens, I would have them work it out on their own. Great learning experience on how to talk to people in difficult situations.

 

[DebD4T]

OK, so many posters are saying to let it slide so as not to disrupt the friendship between the girls.

But the other mother did not worry about ruining the friendship when she did what she did. Why should her feelings (or her daughters) supersede the feelings of the OP and her daughter?

And it's not like the OP is making up some kind of drama, she is calling another adult out on inappropriate behavior. (whether it was allowing the older daughter to wear the dress or trying to cover up that the daughter wore it.)

 

[t_daniels]

OK, so many posters are saying to let it slide so as not to disrupt the friendship between the girls.

But the other mother did not worry about ruining the friendship when she did what she did. Why should her feelings (or her daughters) supersede the feelings of the OP and her daughter?

And it's not like the OP is making up some kind of drama, she is calling another adult out on inappropriate behavior. (whether it was allowing the older daughter to wear the dress or trying to cover up that the daughter wore it.)

Good point.
It's hard. The kids are a bit older.

But. They are also observing what behavior is acceptable as adults.

This lying under the guise of helping, isn't.

You don't want your kid going, 'okay. It's cool for friends to treat each other that way. I understand!' Because its not. And shell meet people like that her whole life.


If its handled well, there shouldn't be an issue for the girls. Unless, it was the girl's doing to take it.... Or unless the girl takes offense.

They are old enough to be friends even if Moms aren't.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Jill, Good luck with this.

Just don't say anything about this to your DMIL. She could pick up a discounted "party dress" for your DD for this year's Christmas gift exchange!

TC

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OK, so many posters are saying to let it slide so as not to disrupt the friendship between the girls.

But the other mother did not worry about ruining the friendship when she did what she did. Why should her feelings (or her daughters) supersede the feelings of the OP and her daughter?

And it's not like the OP is making up some kind of drama, she is calling another adult out on inappropriate behavior. (whether it was allowing the older daughter to wear the dress or trying to cover up that the daughter wore it.)

I would let MY dd handle it. It was her dress and her friend. My dd is the one that has to "live with this" so to speak.

My focus is my dd period. If my dd wanted me to take action, I would. If my dd said, hey, I should have know better than to leave my dress at Suzie's house for a number of weeks & I will never trust that family again, then that would be good enough for me.

 

[Mkrop]

I would probably do nothing. I wouldn't want to upset my daughter friendship with this girl

That ship has sailed....

if my child's friend and mother pulled this stunt, the friendship has already been rocked.

 

[happygirl]

That ship has sailed....

if my child's friend and mother pulled this stunt, the friendship has already been rocked.

Why the girls didn't do anything Why punish them

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Jill, Good luck with this.

Just don't say anything about this to your DMIL. She could pick up a discounted "party dress" for your DD for this year's Christmas gift exchange!

TC

Oh come on. Don't wreak our fun. This could turn into one of Jeafl's classic stories.

Let us know what happens Jeafl. Let the you know what have it.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Oh come on. Don't wreak our fun. This could turn into one of Jeafl's classic stories.

Let us know what happens Jeafl. Let the you know what have it.

Are you aware of Jill's annual Christmas exchange thread? How is that wrecking the fun on this thread?

TC

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Are you aware of Jill's annual Christmas exchange thread? How is that wrecking the fun on this thread?

TC

Yes I am very aware. I was just saying if she told her MIL we could see what kind of gifts would come from this horror.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Yes I am very aware. I was just saying if she told her MIL we could see what kind of gifts would come from this horror.

Gottcha!

TC

 

[surfergirl602]

Honestly? I'd be sending her a bill for a new dress because she obviously used it, among with the picture of it being worn.

 

[surfergirl602]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Yes, I think I would do that, too! Catch her lie red handed! And face to face.