Wedding Vow Renewal Ceremony

[ronandannette]

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll have to watch our wedding video again to see what our vows were. It's been so long I don't even remember what we said. He wants to have the same wedding party, if we can. Since he's the one who wants to have the ceremony, I'll humor him with his requests. All but two were nieces & nephews anyway. We plan to only invite close family members this time.

Ours was at our 10-year anniversary. We only had a very select few people in attendance (5 couples) who at the time were very instrumental in our lives. We did a video tribute and short ceremony that focused on God's providence through the severe ups-and-downs we'd encountered, led by a pastor who is a dear friend of ours. We didn't retake vows per se. We had a framed certificate called "Our Marriage Covenant" that we'd gotten a year or so earlier while attending a marriage retreat. The pastor read it aloud and then we signed it and had all the guess sign it as well, as witnesses and as a keepsake.

Afterwards we had a fancy dinner, tons of champagne, lots of laughs and of course, a wedding cake! We did the event in the clubhouse of the golf course where DH was a member. Our wedding had been in a similar venue at a different country club so I guess it was sort of fitting.

I don't understand why people renew their wedding vows. I thought the vows were meant to last a lifetime.

I get where you're coming from, but for us, it was honestly really touch-and-go for the early years of our marriage. Not proud of it, but the fact was that we made our original vows with a starry-eyed idealism that lacked any real understanding of what we were actually promising to do. Our renewal was very significant to us; it came at a time when we truly knew we were going to "make it", and we have - going on 22 years now and unstoppable. "For better or for worse" were really just words the first time around.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

For some couple renewing their vows is a symbolic way to acknowledge the journey their marriage has taken them on, and to reaffirm their that commitment to one another is stronger and deeper then ever.

On a personal level, my DH and I married after having been together for 12 years. I really did not think that I needed a formal ceremony to cement my commitment to him, but he felt strongly about it. We are Catholic and married in Church. Well we went through a really tough patch and it turns out that for us, the Sacrement of marriage was a deeply imbedded commitment.....and divorce was not on our table. So counseling and counseling and a lot of hard work....and we are now the couple we thought we were then....in love but so much more. Now I am not interested in a vow renewal, but I do understand that there are so many reasons why some couples feel strongly about them when they celebrate certain anniversart dates. Of course they may not have our journey as a couple ( I thnk we were "that" dysfunctional couple...we just did not know it! LOL) but they all have their reasons, and I doubt most are concerned with the outer trappings.

I'm so glad you two stuck it out. From what I've read, it sounds like you have a good marriage & a wonderful family. I'm sure the end result was worth the effort.

DH & I have always had a pretty good marriage. The first three years were rough, but that was due to his mother. If we had stayed near her, we may not have made it. We're closer now than we were when DS was little & needed our attention though. I feel fortunate that DH wants to reiterate that he would marry me all over again & his love is forever. Thanks for the support.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Ours was at our 10-year anniversary. We only had a very select few people in attendance (5 couples) who at the time were very instrumental in our lives. We did a video tribute and short ceremony that focused on God's providence through the severe ups-and-downs we'd encountered, led by a pastor who is a dear friend of ours. We didn't retake vows per se. We had a framed certificate called "Our Marriage Covenant" that we'd gotten a year or so earlier while attending a marriage retreat. The pastor read it aloud and then we signed it and had all the guess sign it as well, as witnesses and as a keepsake.

Afterwards we had a fancy dinner, tons of champagne, lots of laughs and of course, a wedding cake! We did the event in the clubhouse of the golf course where DH was a member. Our wedding had been in a similar venue at a different country club so I guess it was sort of fitting.


I get where you're coming from, but for us, it was honestly really touch-and-go for the early years of our marriage. Not proud of it, but the fact was that we made our original vows with a starry-eyed idealism that lacked any real understanding of what we were actually promising to do. Our renewal was very significant to us; it came at a time when we truly knew we were going to "make it", and we have - going on 22 years now and unstoppable. "For better or for worse" were really just words the first time around.

I love the marriage covenant idea. We may do something similar. Your renewal sounds very nice. You had a great reason for having the ceremony.

 

[DisneyDebbie]

I often think about doing this for our 25th. We've been married for 17 years, so I have some time yet. My thoughts are to have close family there ( maybe even a destination renewal). I view it as a redo in a way that's relaxing and fun. Our original wedding was large, busy, and mostly what our parents wanted. Looking back I can't believe the things that I thought were sooo important, haha!

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm so glad you two stuck it out. From what I've read, it sounds like you have a good marriage & a wonderful family. I'm sure the end result was worth the effort.

DH & I have always had a pretty good marriage. The first three years were rough, but that was due to his mother. If we had stayed near her, we may not have made it. We're closer now than we were when DS was little & needed our attention though. I feel fortunate that DH wants to reiterate that he would marry me all over again & his love is forever. Thanks for the support.

It's rough when you have an outside interference like you had to deal with. My brothers' daughter moved as soon as she married and as difficult a decision that was for her and her husband, it was the right one. I love my brother and sister in law, but they would have unintentionally destroyed the marriage.

Buddy and I are really strong now, but that was not always the case. We both needed to work on our own selves before we could be a good partner in a marriage. We both came from pretty dysfunctional families so we did not have the tools to make our marriage work for us. It will be 25 years in June we are married, and while it is not always sunshine and roses, we never doubt that while we are pretty independent people, we are compete when we are together.

If we renewed it would be because we are really happy with our marriage and the family we have together.

 

[MinnieMouse84]

I get where you're coming from, but for us, it was honestly really touch-and-go for the early years of our marriage. Not proud of it, but the fact was that we made our original vows with a starry-eyed idealism that lacked any real understanding of what we were actually promising to do. Our renewal was very significant to us; it came at a time when we truly knew we were going to "make it", and we have - going on 22 years now and unstoppable. "For better or for worse" were really just words the first time around.

That makes sense. I'm glad your marriage is doing better now.

 

[Hrhpd]

I don't understand why people renew their wedding vows. I thought the vows were meant to last a lifetime.

I have to agree, but that is just me. To me, renewing your vows screams that you weren't sure the first time and now need a redo. We have been married over 30 years and have been through some great times and some pretty rough times. To still be together after 30+ years means to me that we took our vows seriously, no matter how young and stupid we were when we said them, and to redo them would be a disservice to all the work we have done over the years.

But again, that is me. I understand that vow renewals have different meanings for different people. If it is important to the OP's husband, then that is all that matters. I hope they have the time of their life

As long as people are doing it for the right reasons and not just for a party and gift grab, I think they should follow their hearts.

 

[donac]

My parents renewed their vows at 25 and 50. When dh and I were getting close to 25 I thought for sure that he would not want all the hoopla. On our 24th anniversary he got me 24 presents spread out over the day. The last one was a lenox heart shaped box with a not inside "will you marry me again?" His only request is that we have it in the backyard with just family and very close friends. We had maybe 40 people (big families). A friend's husband was a deacon and he did the ceremony.. My gf and her daughter played before the ceremony. It was a lovely afternoon.

For us it was more of a celebration of being together for 25 years. Not many people these days make it that long.

 

[Nancyg56]

I have to agree, but that is just me. To me, renewing your vows screams that you weren't sure the first time and now need a redo. We have been married over 30 years and have been through some great times and some pretty rough times. To still be together after 30+ years means to me that we took our vows seriously, no matter how young and stupid we were when we said them, and to redo them would be a disservice to all the work we have done over the years.

But again, that is me. I understand that vow renewals have different meanings for different people. If it is important to the OP's husband, then that is all that matters. I hope they have the time of their life

As long as people are doing it for the right reasons and not just for a party and gift grab, I think they should follow their hearts.

A gift and grab? I dont know how that would work, by the time you pay for the reception you could have bought the gifts yourself. I think that people's reasons are personal and no matter how anyone else feels about the decision to renew wedding vows, there is no wrong reason.

 

[MinnieMouse84]

I think that people's reasons are personal and no matter how anyone else feels about the decision to renew wedding vows, there is no wrong reason.

It often seems like just an excuse to have another party and get more gifts. If that's the only reason you're doing it, it's selfish and indulgent. If you're doing it because it's actually meaningful to you and you don't care about the party/gifts, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I often think about doing this for our 25th. We've been married for 17 years, so I have some time yet. My thoughts are to have close family there ( maybe even a destination renewal). I view it as a redo in a way that's relaxing and fun. Our original wedding was large, busy, and mostly what our parents wanted. Looking back I can't believe the things that I thought were sooo important, haha!

Our 25th is in October. As long as we get the venue & the hotel room booked, I'm not too worried about the rest. It will technically be a destination renewal for us. DH wants to use the same venue we used for our wedding. We no longer live in the same state. All but two of my nieces & their families still live there though.

Congrats on 17 years. That's great!

 

[ronandannette]

It often seems like just an excuse to have another party and get more gifts. If that's the only reason you're doing it, it's selfish and indulgent. If you're doing it because it's actually meaningful to you and you don't care about the party/gifts, there's nothing wrong with that.

Gifts?!? People should have brought us gifts? Aww shucks, we didn't get any gifts. Gotta say I did really enjoy the party though! Maybe we should do it again at our 25th, if only for the gifts...

 

[Nancyg56]

It often seems like just an excuse to have another party and get more gifts. If that's the only reason you're doing it, it's selfish and indulgent. If you're doing it because it's actually meaningful to you and you don't care about the party/gifts, there's nothing wrong with that.

I dont think its a bad thing to have a party. Honestly, a renewal usually has the couple paying for the party or reception, and the cost of that would usually exceed any gifts that would be given. If all it is is a reason for presents, thats an expensive way to go about that.

 

[Nancyg56]

Gifts?!? People should have brought us gifts? Aww shucks, we didn't get any gifts. Gotta say I did really enjoy the party though! Maybe we should do it again at our 25th, if only for the gifts...

LOL!!! I know! I offered to pay for a casual rehearsal meal for my godchild becasue she has a lot of us coming in from out of town. IF that price for a simple BBQ for family is an indication of what a renewal with just family included, YIKES! AND then no presents??????LOL!

 

[MinnieMouse84]

Gifts?!? People should have brought us gifts? Aww shucks, we didn't get any gifts. Gotta say I did really enjoy the party though! Maybe we should do it again at our 25th, if only for the gifts...

Sorry I made the wrong assumption.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

We just had our 26th anniversary a couple of days ago. For our 25th we didn't do a vow renewal, but we did do a second honeymoon! We had a lovely time at an adults only all inclusive resort in Punta Cana, DR.

Congratulations on 25 years OP!!!! May you have 25+ more great years together!

 

[Nancyg56]

Sorry I made the wrong assumption.

Most folks ask that there are no gifts at renewals. They dont need another toaster.

 

[MinnieMouse84]

Most folks ask that there are no gifts at renewals. They dont need another toaster.

Yeah, I didn't really think that through. My mistake.

 

[Nancyg56]

Yeah, I didn't really think that through. My mistake.

No worries! There is no reason to apologize, its just a discussion. I like that there are all kinds of thoughts tossed about and that we can talk them through.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

My parents renewed their vows at 25 and 50. When dh and I were getting close to 25 I thought for sure that he would not want all the hoopla. On our 24th anniversary he got me 24 presents spread out over the day. The last one was a lenox heart shaped box with a not inside "will you marry me again?" His only request is that we have it in the backyard with just family and very close friends. We had maybe 40 people (big families). A friend's husband was a deacon and he did the ceremony.. My gf and her daughter played before the ceremony. It was a lovely afternoon.

For us it was more of a celebration of being together for 25 years. Not many people these days make it that long.

I agree. This is the reason we're doing it also. Your DH sounds very thoughtful. What a great 24th anniversary you must have had.