Wedding Thank You Question

[JaneBanks]

The thank you cards could have been part of her photography package and was maybe directly mailed out through them. The couple may not have even seen them before they were mailed.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

The thank you cards could have been part of her photography package and was maybe directly mailed out through them. The couple may not have even seen them before they were mailed.

That most likely isn't the case since my son and his girlfriend gave our niece a Batman birthday card as their wedding card with their cash gift, our niece handwrote on the back of the photocard - We liked the Batman card. So they did see them :-(

 

[cluvsdisney]

I think if you're going to send out thank you notes, do them right. It doesn't take that long to write a personal message...probably the same amount of time it took to open the gift/card, put it away/deposit the cash. I'm sure none of that was too much trouble.

 

[aprilgail]

I think if you're going to send out thank you notes, do them right. It doesn't take that long to write a personal message...probably the same amount of time it took to open the gift/card, put it away/deposit the cash. I'm sure none of that was too much trouble.

I agree!! my daughter just had her sweet 16 and she ordered a bunch of pre printed postcards with a pic of her from her sweet 16 on it- she thought she would get off easy sending those out but no way was that happening! I had a nice box of thank you cards for her and the postcard fit right into them! Its fine giving those out to her friends because that is what they do, some don't even send thank you's from sweet 16's but for every other person there was no way she was getting the easy way out, she sat down and wrote a personalized note on each thank you card!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

The last two weddings I attended, I didn't even get that.

And for both we gave pretty nice gifts.

But nothing. No thank you, no picture, no anything.

 

[LAB81018]

To me a wrapped gift is "I saw this and thought of you and hope when you look at it you think of me." Not something you can do with cash.

Cash is usually the gift of those who can't be bothered or do not know where to check or cannot afford what is on the registry (I acknowledge that this is me 95% of the time). A cash gift is an almost without exception, desired gift. But it is not usually thought of as a gift someone puts a lot of thought into giving.

I would not expect a long handwritten note for a cash gift. A simple thank you would be enough.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I don't get offended at all, and never keep a thank you card unless it is/contains a picture, and at that, only if it is someone I really care about because we all know that sometimes are invited to a wedding simply for being a family member even though you wouldn't even know each other on the street (2nd cousins, etc). And we have all been at that wedding where everyone is less surprised at the subsequent divorce than the marriage itself, so I def don't keep those!

 

[SMD]

I agree!! my daughter just had her sweet 16 and she ordered a bunch of pre printed postcards with a pic of her from her sweet 16 on it- she thought she would get off easy sending those out but no way was that happening! I had a nice box of thank you cards for her and the postcard fit right into them! Its fine giving those out to her friends because that is what they do, some don't even send thank you's from sweet 16's but for every other person there was no way she was getting the easy way out, she sat down and wrote a personalized note on each thank you card!

I think I'd rather get a postcard, that way I can put it on the fridge if it's a picture I want to save for a little while. Just write the note on the back. I got a postcard (though in an envelope) for a baby gift I sent in November and it's up now. It wouldn't have bothered me if they had just mailed it without an envelope. It's from out of state, so the postmark would be a fun reminder too.

 

[aprilgail]

I think I'd rather get a postcard, that way I can put it on the fridge if it's a picture I want to save for a little while. Just write the note on the back. I got a postcard (though in an envelope) for a baby gift I sent in November and it's up now. It wouldn't have bothered me if they had just mailed it without an envelope. It's from out of state, so the postmark would be a fun reminder too.

I would have let her send them if she could have written a personalized note on the back but on the back in big print it said "Thank you for celebrating my sweet 16 with me"- not room for any other writing!

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I recall people getting all out of sorts when Evites started appearing in their in boxes instead of mailed invitations.

OP You keep saying you want to be acknowledged for your gift. You were given a thank you card as an acknowledgement.

 

[pryncess527]

I've seen this on the Knot often enough to think it's a common trend. I'm still a big believer in a hand written note.

 

[Christine]

I recall people getting all out of sorts when Evites started appearing in their in boxes instead of mailed invitations.

OP You keep saying you want to be acknowledged for your gift. You were given a thank you card as an acknowledgement.

No, thank you though for the help in cleaning up afterwards either.

I'm with you OP, I like to get something personal. When I got married, I sat down and wrote 150 thank you notes personally. Back then, I actually had a pretty good memory and even was able to be specific enough to thank someone for the bedding, or crystal, or whatever it was.

I think every gift deserve some personal recognition and not just a form letter of sorts. I get all types though. I was really happy to see that my cousin's daughter, who married 3 years ago and then had a baby last year, write personalized thank yous for everything.

 

[leebee]

I, too, think a wedding gift requires a personal note from the bride and/or groom. You've invited someone to share one of the most personal days of your life, and celebrate this with you. You've accepted a gift they picked out specifically for you, to acknowledge this personal event. The least you can do is send a personal thank you to the people who cared enough to acknowledge this very special day in your life.

 

[klmall]

At least you got a thank you card. We did not receive a thank you card/call/text on the last 2 wedding gifts we sent. I finally asked one of the couples if they got the gift because I was worried they never received it. And I bought off their registry so it's not like I sent a crummy gift. So rude!

Happened to us in 2 of last 3 weddings we have attended and given a check. These weddings were more than a year ago but the checks were cashed.

I see the parent of one recipient on a regular basis and have to stuff a sock in my mouth not to bring it up in conversation.

 

[mamacatnv]

My MIL keeps track of people who send her cards for deaths and illness. As a young bride I was chastised for not sending a card when her Mother whom I had never met passed away.
My in-laws lived on one coast and us on the other - I thought at the time her reaction was a bit much but lesson learned, I now send cards for everything.
Recently, her sister passed away, I sent a card and two weeks later made sure to ask if she got it, she said no she had not. Then about a week later she called me up, informed me that in fact she had received my card but had noted the date received incorrectly. Everyone has a different standard.
I always send a hand written thank you but I don't get my panties in a twist when someone does not. I admit as well that my kids are not as good at sending thank-you's as I am and the invention of email has put a whole new spin on the process as well.

 

[minnie mum]

I recall people getting all out of sorts when Evites started appearing in their in boxes instead of mailed invitations.

OP You keep saying you want to be acknowledged for your gift. You were given a thank you card as an acknowledgement.

It was acknowledged in the laziest, least considered way possible. I agree with many of the PPs that omitting even a one sentence written note shows a distinct lack of appreciation.

But even a pre printed postcard is better than the mass email my nephew and his bride sent out as a "thank you".. How anyone could consider that acceptable, I don't know. But they were also the ones who only sent out Evites for the wedding, too.

 

[wilkeliza]

It was acknowledged in the laziest, least considered way possible. I agree with many of the PPs that omitting even a one sentence written note shows a distinct lack of appreciation.

But even a pre printed postcard is better than the mass email my nephew and his bride sent out as a "thank you".. How anyone could consider that acceptable, I don't know. But they were also the ones who only sent out Evites for the wedding, too.

My brother tried to text me for his wedding invitation . His wife (who I did not meet until that day) was so embarrassed that she sent an email that she was terribly sorry she was out of save the dates so could not send one but would make sure I received an actual invitation. She also sent hand written thank you cards. I'm sure my brother would not have if not for his wife.

 

[cijay]

Not enough to be "offended" but yeah, it's the norm.

 

[aprilgail]

It was acknowledged in the laziest, least considered way possible. I agree with many of the PPs that omitting even a one sentence written note shows a distinct lack of appreciation.

But even a pre printed postcard is better than the mass email my nephew and his bride sent out as a "thank you".. How anyone could consider that acceptable, I don't know. But they were also the ones who only sent out Evites for the wedding, too.

I can't even imagine a WEDDING invite coming via evites- I would very easily click on "decline". I sent a gift one time to a friends son and daughter in law that had a baby and on the daughter in laws facebook status the "thank you" was "Thanks to everyone that send something for Greg" that was it- that was the LAST "something" I sent to greg!

 

[TheIncredibles!]

To me a wrapped gift is "I saw this and thought of you and hope when you look at it you think of me." Not something you can do with cash.

Cash is usually the gift of those who can't be bothered or do not know where to check or cannot afford what is on the registry (I acknowledge that this is me 95% of the time). A cash gift is an almost without exception, desired gift. But it is not usually thought of as a gift someone puts a lot of thought into giving.

I would not expect a long handwritten note for a cash gift. A simple thank you would be enough.

In this area wrapped gifts from the registry are only given at showers and only cash is given at the wedding. Regardless of what your gift is you should be thanked. The op was thanked just not thanked with enough effort in her opinion.

I am all for being thanked for my gift be it a wrapped present or a check tossed in a card. I just don't care HOW they thank me, nor do I think one method is more acceptable over another. Say it to my face, call me on the phone, send me an email, a facebook post, a generic preprinted card or a handwritten note - whatever floats your boat - just as long as you say thank you that's good enough for me.