Wedding rehearsal dinner.......................?

[clh2]

My DH and I had our reception at an italian restaurant that made an awesome pizza. We had about 30 people at our dinner. This particular place had a private party room. The beauty of pizza is - if people eat dinner before the rehearsal...they'll eat less pizza, if someone hasn't eaten before the rehearsal, they ate more pizza. One person ordered an entree, since they just didn't care for pizza, and one person really wanted a salad (probably my mom).

The total cost for our dinner, please keep in mind this was 17 years ago was around $150, which included beers and soda. The tip was not included in this amount, and the waitstaff we had was beyond wonderful, so they got a far higher tip than normal.

By the way, we all had a ball! I wouldn't have changed a thing for the rehearsal dinner. The whole night was very relaxing, and just a whole lot of fun!

 

[goodeats]

We were able to have a backyard BBQ for our rehearsal dinner even though my in-laws (who hosted) live 600 miles away. We found a local park and found a local BBQ restaurant to cater. I don't know how much it cost, but my MIL said it was very reasonable. We wanted something more relaxed before the 'big day'.

 

[dizkids]

I like the idea of your parents telling them how much they can afford. I dont think any of us or our parents would have a clue as to how to plan a party for a town 2 hours away.

Tell the couple "this is how much we can afford and you can put it towards the dinner you are planning "

If that doesnt go over well. I vote for a pizza...some pizza restaurants have very nice party rooms. Some may have BYOB.

 

[moonbeams4]

Heather,

Hello!?! Karoake party! How much fun would that be?! They should be able to find a venue to pull this off! What better way to get introduced to future in-laws.
Think "My Best Friend's Wedding" ....Whenever I wake up, I put on my make up..... That would be soooooo much fun!

Hey Tuscan people, where could they do this?

 

[gk90]

Heather,

Hello!?! Karoake party! How much fun would that be?! They should be able to find a venue to pull this off! What better way to get introduced to future in-laws.
Think "My Best Friend's Wedding" ....Whenever I wake up, I put on my make up..... That would be soooooo much fun!

Hey Tuscan people, where could they do this?

If it were me I would be singing "Hit the road Jack" to Bridezilla--"and don't you come back no more, no more!"

Seriously, an informal karaoke party with pizza and / or BBQ sounds like a lot of fun to me!

 

[JKYlovesRuss]

That was very thoughtful of your mother in law to go to the trouble of making a cheesecake for dessert. Why did you roll your eyes?

1. yes it was nice of her.

2. because I felt like it!

 

[paysensmom]

Oh, I left out the fact that she always tells us how reserved her family is. She always makes a point to tell us that our two families are SOOOO different. We are very outgoing, loud and love to goof around and we laugh a lot! If we make idiots of ourselves, it is all worth it if we made each other laugh!! I guess her family doesnt have fun?? I dont know, I have never met ANY of them.
And, no I do not approve of the marriage and I doubt there will be a divorce because she *****es my brother out daily and he is STILL marrying her?? Ugh. Whatever, its not my life, at least until they have kids. Which she said is priority number one as soon as they are married. Because I will be seeing my neice/nephew or whatever they may be! I love my brother and they wanted family to be in the wedding. Her idea. But, he asked and at the time, I did not know it would be this way. Now, it is seriously to the point that I do not want to go. My husband already said he may not go. He said if he cant wear his wranglers, he is definitely NOT going!!! Okay, he was also asked to be in the wedding, but due to the unpredictable nature of his job, he couldnt accept. He is glad about that! My son is going to be the ring bearer, and even though my daughter is only 3 (she will be 4 in July) she is upset about not being included. I tried to get them to have just one more little girl walk down the aisle to throw flowers, but she didnt want that. Oh, well it is her wedding after all. I just dont know why they would ask 3 out of 4 of us? I understand her side of the family should be part of the wedding too, but why couldnt my sweet little girl walk too??? Anyway, thats just another thought that goes through my mind about this girl and her wedding.
Sorry to keep adding to the pot, but I just need to vent a little!!
Keep your thoughts coming please, I am really loving this. I have gotten ideas from here and passed them on to my parents. I love getting your ideas and giving her more options. Even though she says I am addicted to this board!!
Love you guys!!
Heather

 

[Green Tea]

They can't; it's 2 hours from their home.

They could do the same thing at a public/state/ park. Is there a state park nearby, amybe with a lake or something. It could be beautiful/

 

[paysensmom]

bump!! Please keep em coming!
Thanks!!

 

[RachaelRol]

How about a mexican restaurant. There are probably sone good one in Tuscon and affordable I'm sure.

 

[powellrj]

my DS is getting married in June and they are having a informal chicken and noodle dinner that the families are making. Her step-brother is making the chicken and noodles, her DM is making the mashed potatoes and I am making green beans, corn and salad. They are also inviting out of town family so there will be lots of people there.

 

[Mkrop]

we just got back from dinner at a chain restaurant called Bucca Di Peppos, Italian nicer than Olive Garden. I kind of thought about this thread when DH mentioned he had been to one in FL when he went for a sales meeting, they took over one side of the restaurant. So I was kind of thinking maybe you could do that. Or when I worked a lot of these chain type places did have private rooms that we would have our holiday luncheons and I remember them not being super expensive.

 

[paysensmom]

bumpity bump!!

 

[Chicago526]

This is a long thread and I haven't read it so I'm sure someone has suggested this, but just in case...

My wedding was also formal and while there is no hard and fast rule about the rehersal dinner needing to be oposit, I decided that I wanted a casual rehersal dinner. I think I had something like 30 people and it cost less that $400. $250 or so for food from Famos Dave's BBQ (gooooood food! ) and the rest for alcohol, deserts, and paper supplies. SIL, who hosted it for me at her house since mine was too small to hold that many people, decorated for free (tea lights and rose petals scattered about all horizontal surfaces, cheap but elegant!).

So, if you have a friend or relative with a large enough space that's willing to host, a restaurant in the area that caters and has great food for resonable prices, the only other thing you'll need is a party supply store and time to make a run to your local liquor store!

My second plan was a restaurant that we have in the area has a group meal package that, for starting around $15 per person, had a three course meal with unlimited wine. Had our party been smaller (we had a lot of out of town guests we wanted to invite, and that would have put us over budget) we might have done that, even though it would have been a bit more fancy. For 20 people with tax and tip that'd be around $400, not bad for a nice sit down meal (and the restaurant in questions has EXCELLANT food!). So again, check out some restaurants in your area that may have private rooms, they could have a package that is more resonable than you'd think!

 

[Jennifer823]

allot of people in our wedding party had no desire to have to deal with a long rehearsal and then a dinner afterwards since they had a long day ahead of them the next day. we purposely schedualed the rehearsal for after the dinner hour and then provided light snacks in the adjacent rehearsal hall. we had to decorate the place anyway so it was convenient. i've seen rehearsals with no dinner and it was never an issue or anyone thought anything less of it.

This is like we did, we had a rehearsal dessert.

 

[brockscandy]

When DH and I got married, we ordered a 6ft. Subway sandwich (it was a long running joke between my dad and me) and our mom's provided chips and salads to go with it. It was very informal and fun. We stuck the leftovers in the fridge of the church. The next day before the wedding while everyone was waiting, they started digging the leftovers out and ate lunch. We didn't plan it, but it worked out great. Good Luck

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I hope your parents get this all resolved and everyone is happy. For us, we didn't have a rehearsal- (didn't need one- you just walk down the aisle ) but my MIL cooked a ham and some other food and we just all went to her house grabbed a plate and enjoyed. They had out of town guests that were staying so it was nice to visit with everyone. I was a bit laid back so I didn't have any demands.

Now here is where I will get flamed.
I think that while she may be a bit bridezilla, I think your family is a bit rude as well. You are annoyed because your dh can't wear jeans to the wedding? Come on! He is an adult! He cannot put on a proper outfit for a formal event? He can't wear a suit? I would be annoyed if I was the bride as well. Then he threatens not to come? That is over the top in my opinion. Before you all get nuts saying that I need to approve everyone's clothing that is not the case. I don't really care what people wear but I would like to think that they would dress appropriately for the event. Jeans is not appropriate even if you are a cowboy. You also mentioned that she asked your Mom to stop singing so she can study. I don't think that is being rude. The girl was trying to do schoolwork and perhaps can't concentrate while your mom is singing away. I have to say that reading your posts it seems like you want things your way. I think you may be a little familyzilla. She may be a PITA and you may not like her but I think you and your family are getting offended and annoyed because she doesn't do things like you guys do. Neither way is right but both are different. I am sorry if you think I am being harsh. I am not in any way trying to attack you or your family. I am sure you are all wonderful people. Maybe try and look at it from a different angle? I don't know. At any rate- I would tell your parents to do what they can afford. I am sure it will be wonderful. Good doesn't have to mean pricey. Good luck with everything. Maybe you will have a different view of her after the wedding.

 

[paysensmom]

Now here is where I will get flamed.
I think that while she may be a bit bridezilla, I think your family is a bit rude as well. You are annoyed because your dh can't wear jeans to the wedding? Come on! He is an adult! He cannot put on a proper outfit for a formal event? He can't wear a suit? I would be annoyed if I was the bride as well. Then he threatens not to come? That is over the top in my opinion. Before you all get nuts saying that I need to approve everyone's clothing that is not the case. I don't really care what people wear but I would like to think that they would dress appropriately for the event. Jeans is not appropriate even if you are a cowboy. You also mentioned that she asked your Mom to stop singing so she can study. I don't think that is being rude. The girl was trying to do schoolwork and perhaps can't concentrate while your mom is singing away. I have to say that reading your posts it seems like you want things your way. I think you may be a little familyzilla. She may be a PITA and you may not like her but I think you and your family are getting offended and annoyed because she doesn't do things like you guys do. Neither way is right but both are different. I am sorry if you think I am being harsh. I am not in any way trying to attack you or your family. I am sure you are all wonderful people. Maybe try and look at it from a different angle? I don't know. At any rate- I would tell your parents to do what they can afford. I am sure it will be wonderful. Good doesn't have to mean pricey. Good luck with everything. Maybe you will have a different view of her after the wedding.

I sure will have a different viewof her after my wedding. Now she is someone I dislike, afterwards, she will be a sister-in-law whom I dislike.

Wow, maybe you failed to read the part about my husband wearing WRANGLERS IN my wedding!! As I mentioned they were black wranglers and they looked just fine by the way. And the main reason my husband doesnt want to go?....... He likes her about as much as the rest of my family does. I was in a formal bridal gown, my groomsmen and father were all in tuxedos. So, NO my husband is not being rude because he doesnt want to wear something he is not comfortable wearing. And for you to have the audacity to accuse my mother of being rude makes me LIVID. My parents are allowing her to live in their house for VERY little rent and you think it is okay for her to make demands of what my mother does in her OWN house?? Wow, I would like to move in with you since I could do whatever I wanted and that would be alright with you. So, she could go to the library and study or to her grandma's house or her uncle's house (both of them live in the same town) If she wanted to study she could make many other plans instead of trying to make demands of someone opening their home up.
Nope, I dont want her wedding to be done my way. I came on here and posted for advice on the rehearsal dinner and I gave some back ground info so people could know a little more of the situation. Not to be ridiculed for stating the facts.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I sure will have a different viewof her after my wedding. Now she is someone I dislike, afterwards, she will be a sister-in-law whom I dislike.

Wow, maybe you failed to read the part about my husband wearing WRANGLERS IN my wedding!! As I mentioned they were black wranglers and they looked just fine by the way. And the main reason my husband doesnt want to go?....... He likes her about as much as the rest of my family does. I was in a formal bridal gown, my groomsmen and father were all in tuxedos. So, NO my husband is not being rude because he doesnt want to wear something he is not comfortable wearing. And for you to have the audacity to accuse my mother of being rude makes me LIVID. My parents are allowing her to live in their house for VERY little rent and you think it is okay for her to make demands of what my mother does in her OWN house?? Wow, I would like to move in with you since I could do whatever I wanted and that would be alright with you. So, she could go to the library and study or to her grandma's house or her uncle's house (both of them live in the same town) If she wanted to study she could make many other plans instead of trying to make demands of someone opening their home up.
Nope, I dont want her wedding to be done my way. I came on here and posted for advice on the rehearsal dinner and I gave some back ground info so people could know a little more of the situation. Not to be ridiculed for stating the facts.

Whoa!!!!!
I think you misunderstood where I was coming from. You had issues with the girl and I was trying to give you a different perpective. It is very hard to plan something for someone when you don't like them and based only on what you posted about her and your reaction, I was trying to get you to see a different side of it because maybe you might feel better about the whole thing. I was not ridiculing you at all. I am sorry you felt that I was. That was not my intention.

 

[sk!mom]

Thanks Pam! I will tell him for sure!


Okay, I know this is going to stir things up a bit, but................My brother AND her fiance are living with my parents They do pay rent, but it is only 400 a month which doesnt even cover half of the mortgage payment let alone the bills!!! So, I really dont even feel they should be forking over ANY money for the rehearsal dinner.
My mother already gave them two months rent free so they could pay for a few more place settings since the place they chose is almost $100 per person Which SHE (ugh) always have to bring up how much money her mom is paying for the wedding already. She also told my mom in a condescending manner, that if she couldnt afford the dinner that her mother already said she would pay for it. Can ya tell I really dont like her much? Seriously, I should call bridezilla!! Anyway, tell me what you all think.
Thank you!!
Heather

I think that your parents are letting your brother and his fiance take advantage of them and you are angry (maybe jealous) and that is coloring your opinion of her. Remember your brother is going along with this- don't put all the blame on the bride.

Do your parents feel taken advantage of or is that your feeling?

I agree with all who have said that adults our responsible for their own parties. If someone (parents) want to help out- then great but no one is obligated. We are way past the days when weddings were a parent responsibility.

If your parents want to host a dinner then they should pick a place they can afford. If they cannot afford any place but they want to help out then they should offer an amount that they are comfortable with.

I have to say that I'm starting to feel a little sorry for the bride. I just haven't read where she has done anything worthy of the level of bad feelings that you seem to have.