Wedding invitation with rules

[PollyannaMom]

I’ve never heard of the moms being told a colour to wear.

But It was the norm for the bride and grooms moms to discuss their dress colours just to make sure they weren’t wearing the same colour. This was back in the 80’s/early 90’s when I went to a lot of weddings.

This - our moms just coordinated with each other to wear the same "level" of dress in different colors.

 

[Disneylover99]

This - our moms just coordinated with each other to wear the same "level" of dress in different colors.

When you say level, do you mean like floor length or knee length?

If that’s the case, the standard “mom” dress (in my circle of weddings) used to be long sleeve and knee length. It was just an unwritten rule. lol. I don’t think they had to
discuss it.

I know things have changed.

 

[maxaroni]

Wow. It would never have even occurred to my wife or me to require our moms to submit their proposed dress colors to us for “approval” prior to our wedding. But I guess that was long before the days of so many becoming fixated on the Instagram.

We were married in 1981 and had the moms wear coordinating colors to the bridal party. It was normal with everyone we knew and all of the weddings we have been to. They can choose the dress/style but in a color range that we specified.

DS was married in 2020 and both moms were given a choice between 2 color schemes to coordinate for pictures.

Edited to add: both dads were also matching with the groom/groomsmen

No issues for anyone.

 

[aprilgail]

My nephew is getting married in July at a nice event center. The only thing regarding dress they mentioned is “cocktail” on the couple’s webpage. I would imagine a number of people would never look at the webpage. I hate going to weddings anymore because I can’t find dresses that look good these days. I may wear a pants suit.

My daughter got married on Saturday and I wore a pants suit! I HATE HATE HATE dresses and I told my daughter that I would wear a dress for the wedding if she wanted me to (it was her special day so I would do what she wanted)- but she said "mom you hate dresses and it would be weird seeing you in one- you don't have to do that" so I bought a really nice pants suit.

 

[HopperFan]

.

My daughter got married on Saturday and I wore a pants suit! I HATE HATE HATE dresses and I told my daughter that I would wear a dress for the wedding if she wanted me to (it was her special day so I would do what she wanted)- but she said "mom you hate dresses and it would be weird seeing you in one- you don't have to do that" so I bought a really nice pants suit.

Love it!!

Went to a wedding last spring and MOB wore a stunning pants/tunic and now I see so many of them that are "fancy" and perfect for a wedding party.

I'm also seeing more and more fancy pantsuits on guests. I wore nice pants outfit to several day weddings and now thinking if another night comes along I'll wear a fancy pants outfit.


This is like what the Mom wore and it looked amazing!

 

[lifesavacation]

My daughter got married on Saturday and I wore a pants suit! I HATE HATE HATE dresses and I told my daughter that I would wear a dress for the wedding if she wanted me to (it was her special day so I would do what she wanted)- but she said "mom you hate dresses and it would be weird seeing you in one- you don't have to do that" so I bought a really nice pants suit.

I love a good pantsuit or jumpsuit. I bought a jumpsuit for the rehearsal dinner party, and in black

 

[PollyannaMom]

When you say level, do you mean like floor length or knee length?

I kind of meant level of dressiness, if that's the right way to say it - basically, so one wouldn't be in a fancy gown and one in a summer frock.

 

[Disneylover99]

I kind of meant level of dressiness, if that's the right way to say it - basically, so one wouldn't be in a fancy gown and one in a summer frock.

That makes sense.

 

[_19disnA]

Having the mom's of the bridge/groom coordinate their outfits makes pefect sense to me and is probably what most people do. That is really a different category from specifying the color of clothing you expect the guests to wear.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Wow. It would never have even occurred to my wife or me to require our moms to submit their proposed dress colors to us for “approval” prior to our wedding. But I guess that was long before the days of so many becoming fixated on the Instagram.

This is a great example of what I meant by discussing how some people choose to view wedding stuff. You see the immediate negative aspect to the concept of mother of the bride and mother of the groom having at least some semblance of overall cohesion to the wedding as getting approval and an immediate thought that this is somehow connected to social media when in fact it's a fairly normal commonplace thing.

My own mother asked me without me even thinking if the dress she planned on wearing was okay and I don't think at all she was thinking "I must ask my daughter for approval" but rather she was employing a time old thing called consideration

 

[RedHead0186]

I love a good pantsuit or jumpsuit. I bought a jumpsuit for the rehearsal dinner party, and in black

One of my good friends wore a jumpsuit to her wedding. It was a beautiful white one, and it had flowy legs so it kind of looked like a dress. She looked gorgeous and it totally fit the vibe of her wedding.

 

[tzolkin]

Having the mom's of the bridge/groom coordinate their outfits makes pefect sense to me and is probably what most people do. That is really a different category from specifying the color of clothing you expect the guests to wear.

That's what I always find interesting about these types of threads. There are so many things that would not faze me in the slightest, but are apparently a big deal to others.

Half of us are like, "Of course; makes total sense that the mothers' outfits would coordinate since they're part of the bridal party" and others seem outraged over it. "How dare this bridezilla have an opinion about the mothers' outfits! No one better try to tell me what to wear!"

 

[sam_gordon]

That is really a different category from specifying the color of clothing you expect the guests to wear.

Good thing that didn't happen i the OP.

 

[GoingSince1990]

This is a great example of what I meant by discussing how some people choose to view wedding stuff. You see the immediate negative aspect to the concept of mother of the bride and mother of the groom having at least some semblance of overall cohesion to the wedding as getting approval and an immediate thought that this is somehow connected to social media when in fact it's a fairly normal commonplace thing.

My own mother asked me without me even thinking if the dress she planned on wearing was okay and I don't think at all she was thinking "I must ask my daughter for approval" but rather she was employing a time old thing called consideration

The poster I was replying to used the phrase “have the color approved by the bride and the groom” with respect to the moms’ dress permissions.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The poster I was replying to used the phrase “have the color approved by the bride and the groom” with respect to the moms’ dress permissions.

Unless you're telling me if the bride and groom told their respective moms "I'm sorry that dress doesn't work select another one please" you'd feel differently my point is still the same. I took it as your basic thought towards any presumption that someone is running past the couple getting married these decisions.

My mom just thought she was being nice and considerate towards us asking if it was okay to wear the dress she was thinking of, not something I prodded her on. It's the same premise, as my mom was essentially asking for my approval. Some may outright do it some may more gently ask and sometimes it's the parents themselves asking. But the point being a goal in mind about the wedding to which some people only see a negative to that.

 

[GoingSince1990]

Unless you're telling me if the bride and groom told their respective moms "I'm sorry that dress doesn't work select another one please" you'd feel differently my point is still the same. I took it as your basic thought towards any presumption that someone is running past the couple getting married these decisions.

My mom just thought she was being nice and considerate towards us asking if it was okay to wear the dress she was thinking of, not something I prodded her on. It's the same premise, as my mom was essentially asking for my approval. Some may outright do it some may more gently ask and sometimes it's the parents themselves asking. But the point being a goal in mind about the wedding to which some people only see a negative to that.

OK, point taken. In our families both of our moms knew that all we cared about was them being there to share our day and that there was no need for them to ask for our approval of any aspect of their apparel. But I see now that this does not apply to every family.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

OK, point taken. In our families both of our moms knew that all we cared about was them being there to share our day and that there was no need for them to ask for our approval of any aspect of their apparel. But I see now that this does not apply to every family.

I know my mom knew it too (that at the end of the day her presence was all that was needed) she was just being nice and wanted to share in our day by being considerate towards us. As a bride who was not only planning the whole wedding but also paying for it (I mention that because it's a lot keeping track of what all goes into it) as well I appreciated that she thought "how can I make things less stressful for them" I don't think I even thought of how my mom would look (similarly to how my prior stepmom going through cancer treatment didn't care what she looked like) but there's so much going on with wedding planning so many details, things you forget to think about or appreciate after the fact.

I'd say for the some of the families people mentioned on the surface you may see a negative but I could see an attempt to create some sort of order in the chaos that is the wedding at times and the nervousness of getting married and just literally anything to take some of that off the shoulders is very much welcomed. So maybe to those families saying here's the tuxes or the dresses it removes some of the unknown and there's less angst in the end (instead of assuming there's angst because someone is providing you with color choices). You have points there just thinking of a more positive way to look at it

 

[DDuckSouthBend]

The big thing in our family a couple of years ago was "Black Tie required" weddings. There were three of them in one year. We complied, in fact I bought a Tux because it was cheaper than the 3 rentals. It got to new levels of insanity when the third wedding decided that they wanted all of their guests "announced" (think of Downton Abbey).

I had enough and went on line and bought a "Title". Made sure that they announced us as Lord and Lady, also required them to address us that way. The next wedding invite we received the next year did not have a "Black Tie" requirement.

The things we do for Family.

 

[HopperFan]

The big thing in our family a couple of years ago was "Black Tie required" weddings. There were three of them in one year. We complied, in fact I bought a Tux because it was cheaper than the 3 rentals. It got to new levels of insanity when the third wedding decided that they wanted all of their guests "announced" (think of Downton Abbey).

I had enough and went on line and bought a "Title". Made sure that they announced us as Lord and Lady, also required them to address us that way. The next wedding invite we received the next year did not have a "Black Tie" requirement.

The things we do for Family.

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! I would so do this!!!

Putting this in my back pocket in case!


PS Yes to those who have black tie - def can buy sometimes cheaper than ONE rental. DH & DS both have theirs they've more than got monies worth out of, formal night on cruises etc.

 

[nekonekoneko]

The big thing in our family a couple of years ago was "Black Tie required" weddings. There were three of them in one year. We complied, in fact I bought a Tux because it was cheaper than the 3 rentals. It got to new levels of insanity when the third wedding decided that they wanted all of their guests "announced" (think of Downton Abbey).

I had enough and went on line and bought a "Title". Made sure that they announced us as Lord and Lady, also required them to address us that way. The next wedding invite we received the next year did not have a "Black Tie" requirement.

The things we do for Family.

HEAR YE! HEAR YE! Announcing the arrival of Lord and Lady... D Duck... South Bend!