I am a total snob about the Swolphin and would just as soon they tear it down and replace it with a real, themed Disney resort (Im gunning for an Egyptian, Turkish or Moroccan one, but I guess that wouldnt really fit in with the other resorts on Crescent Lake...). However, I keep hearing how good some of the restaurants are, so this trip I unbent enough to make two ADRs at the Dolphin. Tonights was at Shulas Steakhouse, which everyone says is better than Yachtsman Steakhouse at the Yacht Club.
There arent going to be a lot of photos of Shulas because it is dark as a cave in there and Jensey didnt have a flash with her. So youre gonna get a lot of blitzed out shots from my point-and-shoot.
We used to laugh when my grandma brought out a flashlight to read the menu at JoJos, but this time I knew her frustration. Fortunately my iPhone has a flashlight app, but I may have embarrassed Jensey by waving it around to read the menu, identify what I was eating, hail our server, etc. (The other way I channeled Grandma that night was stuffing half a loaf of leftover sourdough bread into the Ziploc I had in my purse!)
Shulas is one of those old-school restaurants where they really do it up: white-jacketed waiters placing your napkin in your lap, lots of things being wheeled around on carts and prepared tableside, etc. The one vaguely chain-restaurant-y gimmick is that the various cuts of meat are listed on a football that they bring to your table.
In case youre wondering, they
hate it when you punt this menu back to them.
Much like at Yachtsman, Shulas has cuts of raw beef on display, but here they wheel them over on a cart and describe them tableside. This experience is not for the vegetarian or the faint of heart, but the darkness does cut down on the ick factor cuz you cant really tell what youre looking at.
This is what youre looking at [cue Psycho music]
Our server was one of those smarmy, irritatingly officious types who ordinarily bug the crap outta me (I dont remember, but he may actually have asked Are we loving everything? when he checked on us). But I was still in a goofy mood, so decided to give back as good as I got, and it became a kind of game to see who could out-smarm the other.
Welcome to Shulashope ya like raw meat!
One person who doesnt like raw meat is Jensey. I like to rib her cuz she always orders her steak well done, but this time I was determined to get her to at least try a piece of my medium-rare steak and maybe even order hers cooked one notch below shoe leather on the chart. As it turned out, our server became my ally in this cause (he even spontaneously used the phrase shoe leather in his lecture!), which turned into kind of a twisted good cop/bad cop routine when he spent the remainder of the meal stopping by our table to extol the virtues of rare meat, explain the butchering and cooking process, and occasionally wave a piece of raw meat under our noses. Never mind that by that point not only had Jensey been persuaded to order the filet mignon medium well, she had received her order and was actually
eating it, so the hardball tactics were sort of superfluous.
Also, she tried a bite of my medium rare cowboy steak and didnt die!
I was pretty knocked out by the sourdough bread I dont think Ive ever had real sourdough in Florida before. The only thing was that the texture was so dense it was almost wet, if that makes sense.
Jenseys 12-ounce Filet Mignon with Bernaise Sauce
My 22-ounce Cowboy Steak
OK, so meat always looks pretty gross in flash pictures, but I can tell you these both tasted great. Jensey said her filet was the best shed ever had, and mine was right up thereand just as flavorful as theyd promised.
Jensey ordered a Double Baked Potato as her side dish. I think they said they bake it, scoop out the insides and make them into mashed potatoes (i.e., add cream and butter), then put them back in and melt cheese over the top. Fortunately for me, Jensey has the appetite of a delicate flittering little bird and could only eat two bites of this, while I,with my trenchermans appetite,polished off most of the rest.
I was kinda bummed about my own side dish Id been torn between the Lobster Mashed Potatoes and the Crab Macaroni and Cheese. When I asked our server which he recommended, he told me to go with the Crab Macaroni and Cheese.
I was like, Yeah, but you said the Lobster Mashed Potatoes had lobster chunks and lobster gravy on them!
Him: No, you cant go wrong with the Crab Macaroni and Cheese.
Me: Yeah, but
lobster GRAVY?!
Him: Im telling you crab mac n cheese.
Me [whimpering]: Gravy?
Him: Mac n cheese.
WRONG! It was OK, but the cheese sauce was pretty bland and there were only thin slivers of crab in it. I sorta picked at it, sobbing softly to myself and imagining a pile of mashed potatoes studded with huge chunks of lobster and swimming in gravy.
Double Baked Potato and Crab Macaroni & Cheese
I think this was my favorite meal of the trip because Jensey and I had the opportunity to really get into great conversation (between animal husbandry lessons from our server) and enjoy each others company. Plus, you know, it had a ginormous steak in it.
After dinner, we headed toward Epcot and Loris dessert party. Along the way, we stopped off at the Beach Club ladies room so I could change into a skirt (part of my wedding crasher disguise!) and lose my lucky penny in the toilet.
This turned out to be a popular night for dessert parties at Epcot. We counted at least three, including Loris. There was also one at UK Lochside, and this one at the upper French terrace (I cant remember what Epcot calls it these days Le Terrace des Belle Fleurs Magnifique et Je Ne Sais Quoi, or something like that...).
Are you a DIS bride too?
When we got to Morocco, Loris dessert party was roped off but no one had arrived yet. The setting was gorgeous! Sometimes among DIS brides there is a feeling that the Morocco dessert party location is kind of a ghetto they stick you in if youre having an Escape Collection wedding. But I have to say, after seeing it set up for a party, it has a lot more atmosphere and character than many of the other dessert party spots, including the one we used. Plus, Lori had added her own touches, like the purple centerpieces and personalized napkins (I totally swiped one!) that made it really inviting.
Do you smashi it up and eat it? Melt it for fondue? Save it in a curio cabinet? Enquiring minds want to know....
Those two are particularly adorable, too!
Understood.
Aye aye, Cap'n! 
What a stinker!
A lot of people really like it!
Shula's was really good... but REALLY dark! 
Thanks for coming out of the Cave of Lurkdom - it's nice to hear from you! 
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