Wedding attendance question *UPDATED*

[wvjules]

Why are you granny-shaming? What do you have against grannies?

 

[Hrhpd]

The DIS is full of old people. How old are you?

I don't care if it's 10, Granny, I'm still entitled to my opinion, and I honestly do not see the point in making someone feel bad because they can't afford to feed prime rib to 190 or didn't send RSVPs. The fault is with the marrying couple, but they aren't asking for the percentage of people who actually show up. The OP really only wanted to know what % they should expect and if they should order more hors d'oeuvres. I voted for more appetizers.

As someone who doesn't use a walker, I'd be more than happy with a couple of crab cakes and a slice of cake, plus a couple glasses of wine, especially if there's dancing involved. I'm sure the music will be too loud for your taste, so I hope the OP doesn't ask about that.

There would probably be too much salt in the food they served for dinner, anyway. If you're worried about taking your pills with food, the appetizers will serve that purpose.

According to her signature, OP's daughter is 20. I'm guessing that she and her groom's friends are, oh I don't know, about 20. The OP appears to be on a budget, so I see no reason in party-shaming the woman. She said "heavy" hors d'oeuvres. The reception will only be about 3 hours. If the old people get too hungry, they should head home and let the couple have fun with their friends.

The following was party-shaming and mean:

"Unless this reception is going to end at 5 then you need to serve dinner, not snacks. Heavy appetizers would be appropriate if the wedding was at 7, not the time you have planned."

And this..

"Edit: I just saw that the wedding was at 4pm, meaning the reception will be at 5pm or later...you absolutely need to treat this as a full dinner and not as apps. Everyone will need to be fed. No way will people stay if you don't provide a full meal, they will be starving."

And this..

"If the OP doesn't worry about people expecting more of a meal at the 5-8 hour, the wedding is going to be "that wedding" that everybody jokes about. And not in a good way."

I think a carving station and pans of pasta are very good suggestions, along with increasing the amount of appetizers. I see no reason to hurt someone's feelings in a public forum and make them stress over whether or not their reception meets your "standards." No wonder the OP hasn't returned. They are serving pork sliders, chicken fingers, and chicken salad sandwiches, so increasing the amount of those should fill people up just fine.

Even if you are a granny, that doesn't give you the right to look down on someone's special event. Elderly people should know better.

There is only one person on this thread who is being rude, trying to hurt posters' feelings (not successfully) and engaging in personal attacks.

 

[HannaBelle]

I would bump your numbers up to at least 180-190 and/or ask about adding more food. Every wedding that we have ever been to during that time frame served a full meal because the reception is during dinner time. You're going to end up with people expecting a full meal and trying to fill up on what you have.

I live in North Texas and have never been to a wedding that has served a full meal, regardless of the time of day.

I think the appetizers sound great. Either bump the number to 175 people or take some of the previous suggestions on how to get a firm head count.

Good luck OP! Weddings are STRESSFUL!!! If you have a couple of close friends that you can rely on, ask them to handle something at the reception. Trash, drinks, plates, flatware, watching for refills on the buffet... UNLESS the caterer is doing all of this. You want to be able to enjoy the day and not work your tush off.

And wear comfy shoes! My brothers wives laughed at me for wearing comfortable shoes while setting up for my parents anniversary party and then changing before the guests arrived. They weren't laughing at the end of the party.

 

[Pigeon]

I live in North Texas and have never been to a wedding that has served a full meal, regardless of the time of day.

I think the appetizers sound great. Either bump the number to 175 people or take some of the previous suggestions on how to get a firm head count.

Good luck OP! Weddings are STRESSFUL!!! If you have a couple of close friends that you can rely on, ask them to handle something at the reception. Trash, drinks, plates, flatware, watching for refills on the buffet... UNLESS the caterer is doing all of this. You want to be able to enjoy the day and not work your tush off.

And wear comfy shoes! My brothers wives laughed at me for wearing comfortable shoes while setting up for my parents anniversary party and then changing before the guests arrived. They weren't laughing at the end of the party.

I've never been to a wedding that didn't serve a full meal, no matter the time of day. And I've been to a boatload of weddings.

 

[kamik86]

I'm in my 20's and would assume a 4 wedding with a reception after would be serving dinner.

Yes on occasion I'll go out and not eat until 8. That is generally what happens on a saturday when we all meet up as a group of friends but one person doesn't get off of work until 6 so we meet at 6:30, and go to that really busy pub so we don't get seated until 7:15, order drinks and don't get our food orders in until 7:30... and eat around 8.

However if the party isn't going to end at 8 and then people have to figure out what to do for food? I wouldn't complain but I would be leaving early if I was hungry.

 

[aprilgail2]

I've never been to a wedding that didn't serve a full meal, no matter the time of day. And I've been to a boatload of weddings.

I was at ONE that didn't serve a meal, and we drove from ny to virginia for that. They had a weird punch type thing and tiny little sandwiches cut into quarters with cucumber and tuna fish. Many of us left early to go eat!

 

[NewRVLady]

I've never been to a wedding that didn't serve a full meal, no matter the time of day. And I've been to a boatload of weddings.

Southerners do heavy appetisers=some amazing spreads of food, I assure you-once with filet and sized apps being bar b qed outside PLUS the spread inside,,,this at a gorgeous Southern plantation


When DS married in NY state-family filled up at Cocktail hour ...having NO IDEA there was a full sit down dinner later
I SWEAR I told everyone-just the way its done up north

 

[Peachkins]

I would definitely expect to be fed at a party covering those hours but I love the idea of a more casual menu. I've been to dozens of receptions with the beef-chicken-fish plated dinners so a menu like this is a nice change. It's not just chips and dip...the list is a variety of items I have seen on dinner buffets (mashed potato bar, pulled, pork, crab cakes, etc. these are just smaller sized so a guest can have tastes of different things or perhaps graze through the party (depending how service will be set up).

I agree with this. I don't necessarily think the OP needs to add anything to the menu. She just needs to make sure there's enough of everything and assume that people may eat more than they were expecting since the reception falls during the dinner hour.

According to her signature, OP's daughter is 20. I'm guessing that she and her groom's friends are, oh I don't know, about 20. The OP appears to be on a budget, so I see no reason in party-shaming the woman. She said "heavy" hors d'oeuvres. The reception will only be about 3 hours. If the old people get too hungry, they should head home and let the couple have fun with their friends.

Are you for real? I'm in my early 30's, so I don't feel too far removed from what you would think of as "young". Their reception is falling at the typical dinner hour. Maybe it's a little earlier than some- my own reception was from 6 to 10 pm, and I've been to others that went later. It's still during a time though when most people would be eating dinner. How nice that you have the attitude "to heck with the old people". Especially considering that most of those people are most likely your family.

 

[TAX GUY]

**slowly tip-toe around the pissing match taking place**


We invited 200 (back in 1998 and with some financial help from our family) and 215 showed up! That would be about 10 that didn't show and 25 uninvited guests. Yes, uninvited guests.... children of invited guests that decided to come for a "free meal" and a party. Imagine our surprise when we got the final bill (and knew we had some that didn't show up).

 

[LisaInNc]

My hotel had a policy that they could handle 20% more guests than my total. I KNEW that some RSVPs would not show up so once I had my total I deducted 20%. It worked perfectly.

Lisa

 

[tink20]

Wedding was yesterday. The weather was perfect. Everything went just as planned, it was beautiful...and I only cried a little LOL. Did not run out of food, actually had some leftovers. ( I did have the caterer add 2 more dishes, so that helped) If I had to guess, I would say that we had about 150 guests. Now the happy couple are on their honeymoon.....and I can rest....and plan our Disney trip

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I am glad everything worked out

 

[HannaBelle]

Wedding was yesterday. The weather was perfect. Everything went just as planned, it was beautiful...and I only cried a little LOL. Did not run out of food, actually had some leftovers. ( I did have the caterer add 2 more dishes, so that helped) If I had to guess, I would say that we had about 150 guests. Now the happy couple are on their honeymoon.....and I can rest....and plan our Disney trip

Congrats Tink20, I am so happy it went well!