Wedding attendance question *UPDATED*

[tink20]

About what percentage of your invited guests actually came to the wedding? I am starting to freak out a bit. We have food ordered (not a sit down dinner, but heavy hor'dourves) for 125. I did a head count, and its at 190 (groom invited about 20 more people from his work ). I don't want to run out of food, but also don't want to be stuck w/tons of food left over.

Probably about 50 or more of the guests (from grooms side) live out of town, about a 4 hour drive, they hardly see each other, so I don't know if a lot of them will come. Plus, I know this sounds crazy, but here in AL people love football, and DH thinks some people won't come because they will be at a game (or watching a game) Should I be worried?

 

[Art 1]

How many RSVP'ed?

 

[jdb in AZ]

Is your head count based on invitations or RSVP's?

Funny story -- I went to a reception where the groom's family was a bunch of sports fanatics and an NBA playoff game was on at the same time. They set up a television in the reception hall, and the bridal party (as well as the guests) kept checking the score.

 

[powellrj]

I am going to say you will run out of food. I think that people driving 4 hours are going to be expecting to eat. If you are expecting 190, why would you only order for 125? I would rather send food home with family than run out.

 

[NewRVLady]

Back in the olden days of my 70's wedding we estimated 75%

no RSVP

well almost 100% came-and Mom had paid a set price for the food & drinks(she knew the owner-lady put a bit more food out-but was NOT happy)...it was a short 2 hour 'do' and we ran out

when you say he invited 20-is that 40 with spouses?

 

[tink20]

We didn't send RSVP reply cards, mostly because, some people don't send them back one way or the other. Its happened to me several times for Bday parties.

I know, about the football, when DD picked her date, DH's first response was, "why is she having it during football season?"

 

[tink20]

when you say he invited 20-is that 40 with spouses?

No, it was 10 co workers, so 20 includes spouses

 

[wilkeliza]

We didn't send RSVP reply cards, mostly because, some people don't send them back one way or the other. Its happened to me several times for Bday parties. I know, about the football, when DD picked her date, DH's first response was, "why is she having it during football season?"

Weddings are very different than birthday parties. Our family always sends out RSVP cards for weddings that specifically say if not returned we will assume your answer is no please return by x date.

For a birthday you seen usually inviting 190 people and paying for a ton of food so it is a little different.

If you are worried about having too much at least plan for 90% since your didn't send out RSVPs. If you still have time I would quickly send RSVPs and try to get a good head count.

 

[tink20]

I am going to say you will run out of food. I think that people driving 4 hours are going to be expecting to eat. If you are expecting 190, why would you only order for 125? I would rather send food home with family than run out.

Met with caterer back in Jan, thought 125 was a good number, until now, DD and her fiancé keep inviting people. Plus, her fiancé tells me the ones out of town probably won't show.....but who knows, that's his family.

 

[lam0037]

I completely understand the football thing. I also live in Alabama and grew up going to football games since I was 6 mo old. I have been told that if I chose my wedding date on the day of a big football game my family won't show up.

And honestly, I wouldn't even try to plan my wedding during football season because I want to watch football, but I'd love a fall wedding

My boyfriend and i have been discussing this as we are already planning stuff for our wedding. Our current plan is to count all RSVPs and about 75-80% of non RSVPs just to be safe. But we aren't inviting more than we can afford in hopes of non RSVP guests because both of family will travel for the wedding.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I think most people treat wedding RSVPs differently than birthdays. I would never dream of showing up at a wedding if I didn't RSVP. In any case, speak with your caterer again. They have experience with estimating food amounts for big events. As another poster said, I would rather have too much than too little.

 

[sk!mom]

I always err on the side of too much food. Therefore with a guest list of 190 and hors d’Oeuvres only, I would definitely bump up the count. Probably to 150 but in the absence of response cards maybe even 175. What time is the wedding? I find that people will eat a lot of Hors d’Oeuvres if there isn't a meal.

I agree about response cards for kid's parties but it seems like people are better about weddings and most who don't return it can be marked off as a no. They make it easier to get an estimation.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've never heard of having a wedding with no RSVP cards. Even if 20% don't get back to you, you will only have to contact those people.

I'd start making phone call and sending emails!

 

[Mazel]

My daughter got married in June out of state for a good bit of the guests and we had just over 80% show up for the wedding.

I would tell the groom to stop inviting people. Then I would get on the phone or start talking to guests and get a feeling for how many are coming? Especially for the one's you're not sure about.

I agree I would have sent out RSVP's for a wedding. Good luck and I would most definitely bump up the head count for food.

 

[tink20]

I always err on the side of too much food. Therefore with a guest list of 190 and hors d’Oeuvres only, I would definitely bump up the count. Probably to 150 but in the absence of response cards maybe even 175. What time is the wedding? I find that people will eat a lot of Hors d’Oeuvres if there isn't a meal.

I agree about response cards for kid's parties but it seems like people are better about weddings and most who don't return it can be marked off as a no. They make it easier to get an estimation.

Its at 4p (in one month)

 

[wilkeliza]

Its at 4p (in one month)

If the wedding is at 4 and the reception after you are either going to have a very short reception or hungry people. I imagine the ceremony and pictures would be done between 5-5:30 with reception right after. That seems like prime dinner time for a lot of people unless you want guests to start leaving only an hour in. Unless you mean the reception starts at 4 and wedding is prior.

 

[sk!mom]

Its at 4p (in one month)

In that case, I would count at least 90%. At 4pm most people will be hungry and will eat a lot. It's likely been several hours since lunch. I think some guests will purposely eat heavy so that they don't need dinner. Will there be a band/DJ and dancing?

 

[tink20]

In that case, I would count at least 90%. At 4pm most people will be hungry and will eat a lot. It's likely been several hours since lunch. I think some guests will purposely eat heavy so that they don't need dinner. Will there be a band/DJ and dancing?

Yes DJ and dancing, must be over before 8p. (they are doing most of pics before wedding) so reception will start very soon after ceremony (same location)

Our menu is

pulled pork sliders
fried chicken tenders
mini crab cakes
mini chicken salad croissants
mashed potato bar with toppings
fruit and cheese platters
cheese ring and crackers
spinach dip
variety canapés
pasta salad
dessert and candy table

What else do you think I need? or just bump up to 150- 175 with these items?

 

[bigbabyblues]

If approximately 190 were invited, I would plan for 160-170. WAY better to have too much food than not enough. Also, would the groom or his parents be willing to call the out of town relatives and see if they plan to come?

DH's sister got married two weeks ago, and the reception (and wedding time) was planned around Ohio State football. The game was on several tvs around the reception area, and everyone stayed until it was over.

 

[tink20]

If approximately 190 were invited, I would plan for 160-170. WAY better to have too much food than not enough. Also, would the groom or his parents be willing to call the out of town relatives and see if they plan to come?
DH's sister got married two weeks ago, and the reception (and wedding time) was planned around Ohio State football. The game was on several tvs around the reception area, and everyone stayed until it was over.

Maybe. I could ask his mother. I know, on our side who is definitely coming. Most of the guest list is his side because both his parents each have many siblings (mom has 10 and dad has 7)