so sorry for your loss & the heart-ache...it is causing.
..i'm also sorry for having no power...to ease your terrible
grief.

........however, if i may......., offer
i would like to share my feelings. i believe everything your son was,
is still alive in your heart..& always "will" be. i happened to feel this way
because of faith.( faith to me, is exactly what a person believes in
their heart & what life is all about). and while you struggle thru the
grieving process...i hope you will be able...to find~ in time, thru
his precious memory...that if he could, speak, he would want you & all
those that shared~his special moments...to honor his life...by seeking
happiness..again,..& "enough"..to give & share with those that had
the privilege of knowing, your love for him,...& even strangers...so all the
wonderful things causing you to mourn this terrible loss...can be/shall be
eventually... redirected back to something he still, & always valued,
his love for his family..+ his happy thoughts, & all the things, no matter how
small, that keeps reminding....you & all his loved ones...he will always be..
with you..,though in spirit....& the miracles you yet will discover, because
while..he may be gone, the love you shared, will never go away. ever.
....& if this is true, then you know...in your heart, the best way for you
to express your love, is to recover your feelings for life, especially finding
& being happy.....with all the things, you shared & loved.
fyi, i have learn this about life, being in the medical profession..& working
...in alot of fields....from ob to psych., & seeing these lessons repeating,
over & over. reality..is something that keeps repeating itself. here, i'm
hoping sharing others' input.....ease your struggles..and support your
coping needs. i think...your strong feelings for your son's memory is
very inspirational for others..& carry hope as well as his reflection was
so dear & precious. God bless, & please find comfort..you are not alone.