Was this a bad gift (for 4 yo)?

[disykat]

I previously stated I thought the gift was a good one - my post was not about that. My post was a reaction to people insisting kids have to know their ABC's by age 4. I sub in kindergarten, I also sub in my church preschool - I see a lot of 3 - 5 year olds. I have watched these kids go on through school. In my experience whether they know their letters at that age (and many don't) has no bearing on their school success.

When I look for early intelligence I look for things like varied interests, the ability to question, curiousity....

There is nothing wrong with knowing your letters at age two, it just doesn't mean you have higher intelligence than those who don't.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Originally posted by tw1nsmom
Now to play devils advocate about the thank you note. Not everyone is good at expressing what they really mean.

You took the words right out of my mouth!

Something similiar happened to me. A male friend of mine gave my son an adult sized basketball for his second birthday but I took into account that he had no children and well, that he is a total yutz sometimes. Incidentally, Pete LOVED that basketball and played with it during the entire party.

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by disykat
I previously stated I thought the gift was a good one - my post was not about that. My post was a reaction to people insisting kids have to know their ABC's by age 4. I sub in kindergarten, I also sub in my church preschool - I see a lot of 3 - 5 year olds. I have watched these kids go on through school. In my experience whether they know their letters at that age (and many don't) has no bearing on their school success.

When I look for early intelligence I look for things like varied interests, the ability to question, curiousity....

There is nothing wrong with knowing your letters at age two, it just doesn't mean you have higher intelligence than those who don't.

I don't think anyone here has stated that knowing your alphabet means you are smarter then those that don't. You seem defensive about something that hasn't even been brought up. What I'm saying is that I have never heard of a 4 y/o not knowing their letters. In kindergarten here the kids are expected to know their alphabet, how to write their names, colors and counting up to 50 beforehand. I think any 4 y/o that doesn't at least know the alphabet is behind in that respect and the parents should really introduce the child letters.

 

[disykat]

It's really not about being defensive. I freely admit my kids didn't know their letters at 4. They are doing well in school - one of them very well (they are 3rd and 5th grade now) so I don't really feel the need to defend them nor my parenting ability.

However, as a person with a background in early childhood education, I know how many parents fret and worry because their child simply isn't interested. I worried and I know better. My posts were to address that issue and reassure parents that may be reading this that it is not shocking at all for a 4 year old to not know their letters. Just because a bunch of people on the internet haven't met any kids who didn't doesn't make it the norm.

Of course, parents should introduce those skills to their kids. I think games are a great way to do it. I just want to make sure that parents whose kids aren't ready yet don't think their kids are doomed to failure. It also doesn't make you a bad parent. (I'm sorry - IMO that's clearly what some are implying here - that parents whose kids don't know them haven't taken time with their children.)

I am not trying to debate with you, I'm just trying to present another perspective! I'm also trying to point out that, yes, you have "heard of" 4 year olds who don't know their letters. There have been numerous examples on this thread.

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by disykat
It's really not about being defensive. I freely admit my kids didn't know their letters at 4. They are doing well in school - one of them very well (they are 3rd and 5th grade now) so I don't really feel the need to defend them nor my parenting ability.

However, as a person with a background in early childhood education, I know how many parents fret and worry because their child simply isn't interested. I worried and I know better. My posts were to address that issue and reassure parents that may be reading this that it is not shocking at all for a 4 year old to not know their letters. Just because a bunch of people on the internet haven't met any kids who didn't doesn't make it the norm.

If course, parents should introduce those skills to their kids. I think games are a great way to do it. I just want to make sure that parents whose kids aren't ready yet don't think their kids are doomed to failure. It also doesn't make you a bad parent. (I'm sorry - IMO that's clearly what some are implying here - that parents whose kids don't know them haven't taken time with their children.)

I am not trying to debate with you, I'm just trying to present another perspective! I'm also trying to point out that, yes, you have "heard of" 4 year olds who don't know their letters. There have been numerous examples on this thread.

You are correct in that I have heard of 4 y/os that don't know the alphabet. And yes it has only been on this thread. I still find it strange. I don't see it as bad parenting but I do see something lacking if the child at age 4 has no idea what an alphabet is! As an early childhood educator I am shocked that you would not have introduced your child to it.

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by skiwee1
You are correct in that I have heard of 4 y/os that don't know the alphabet. And yes it has only been on this thread. I still find it strange. I don't see it as bad parenting but I do see something lacking if the child at age 4 has no idea what an alphabet is! As an early childhood educator I am shocked that you would not have introduced your child to it.

Of course, I introduced my children to it. Of course, they were familiar with what an alphabet was. I don't know where you are getting your ideas - certainly not from the posts I'm writing. I am saying not all four year olds know all the letters in the alphabet. There is a huge difference between introducing skills and mastery of them (which is what I assumed people meant when they said they "knew their letters").

Just so we are on the same page, I consider "knowing the alphabet" to mean you can correctly identify each individual letter.

 

[CEDmom]

Disykat,

I understand what you're saying and I hope my previous posts didn't offend you. Although DD does know the alphabet there are times when she might forget a letter here or there or mistake a Q for an O. That's only natural when a child is learning new things. However, my understanding of what the OP wrote was that this child didn't know any letters. That's why I made the comment about having a tough time in kindergarten. I know in my DD's pre-k class the kids fall into a wide spectrum as to what they know but I think if any of them didn't know at least some letters that would raise a red flag. It doesn't mean the child won't learn them in kindergarten or that they will definitely have trouble but it's certainly something that warrants a close eye.