Was I Wrong Not To Go...?

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree with this.

Regardless, you are under no obligation to go if you didn't want to go. My husband's cousins child's birthday party? No thanks. I don't particularly like to go to the birthday parties of my own niece and nephews and I love those children.

 

[sparklynails23]

It depends. If you were throwing a hissy because your name wasn't on the e-mail, then you were wrong not to go. If you felt like your husband RSVP'd "no" for both of you, then you were not wrong.

 

[FredinFL]

Nope. You're an adult and can stay home if you want.

 

[crashbb]

That's how my family is. We're all very close with cousins and their kids. Except, in our family, we'd never refer to someone as my husband's cousin's child. We would refer to him or her simply as our cousin.

Same here (though I go with niece/nephew). My cousin's son is just as much my nephew as is my brother's son.

 

[dimimi]

I don't care, I enjoyed my lazy day! But, I would have gone, had I known when, where...

I think this sums it up....you would have gone...had you known....BUT all you had to do was ask your husband?

I agree with most others. We are a family unit. We actually only use 1 email. It really keeps it simple. We both read the same thing.

It sounds like your family wants you at the events! Enjoy them!

 

[Goofyluver]

Well, when they don't show up for your kid's birthday party, you'll know why.

Make sure when you make out the invitations, you're very specific.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I think this sums it up....you would have gone...had you known....BUT all you had to do was ask your husband?

How was she going to ask her hubby about something she knew nothing about?

Nope. You're an adult and can stay home if you want.

This. I'm with those who say they wouldn't have gone even I had known about it!

 

[okeydokey]

PS Guess I should have added, my DH would have said to me, Joe's having a party and I can't go. Do you want to go anyhow?

Yes, this. If I get an email invitation to an event, I would mention it to my spouse. I think you and your DH need to talk about communication.

However, the invitation really should have been worded in both of your names.

 

[Skywalker]

You could have gone if you wanted to...you could have asked your mother in law the when and where when she told you on Friday for example, or called the cousin, or asked your husband.

My family isn't that formal where one person requires an engraved invitation, and I'm sure you don't want a rep as being "that" in-law.

Remember how you treat you exteneded family may be how they treat you and your baby too.

Oh just edited to add, it is fine that you did not want to go, there is nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to make them out as being the bad guys over it!

 

[crashbb]

How was she going to ask her hubby about something she knew nothing about?

She found out about it on Friday - the event was on Sunday. If she had wanted to go (not saying she had to, or even should), she could easily have asked between Friday and Sunday.

 

[Mommee]

Four pages for this? If the invite was for them as a unit, and her DH responded NO, she wouldn't be expected.

If the invite was for only him, then she wasn't invited. She wouldn't be expected.

So what exactly is the issue? The MIL? Or that the DH never mentioned it?

 

[focusondisney]

I don't recall this, but I wouldn't doubt it!

Meg, I look forward to you in law stories now. They're so entertaining!!

You should have your DH promise to forward all e-mails from his family to you as soon as he gets them. Then you can post on the Dis & we (since we know it all!) can give you a ruling ahead of time! That will prevent future misunderstandings!!!

If anyone asks again why you weren't there, Here's an answer: they assumed by only inviting DH, that you would know you were too. You assumed by him saying he wasn't going, they'd know it meant you weren't either!

 

[Swan4Me]

Cousin's children's birthday party? No thanks.

And not HER cousin

I love going to close relatives kid's parties-but this seems odd-unless they are super close to each other?

 

[jenrose66]

My DH's family pulls that garbage all the time. You and DH are married so an invite for him is an invite for both of you. I would think he would be in the wrong for not mentioning it to you. He should own up with his family by saying he forgot to mention the party to you.

With that said I don't think you should have went. My DH works non traditional hours. The one perk of his horrid shift is that he's working for most family gatherings. No way do I party with the in laws without DH present...it's like being thrown to the sharks.

When he gets an invite for the party he replies back saying he is working so our family will not be attending.

 

[mickeyboat]

I wouldn't have gone either unless I was close to DH's cousin, or if plans were made for me to go with my in-laws.

 

[msjprincess]

I'm getting heat for not attending DH's cousin's children's birthday party yesterday.

I guess a couple weeks ago, a mass email went out to the family inviting everyone. DH got one asking if HE was going to attend (I wasn't mentioned), and he emailed back that he had to work.

I knew nothing of the party until Friday evening, when my MIL asked me if I was going. I said I hadn't been invited, and thus probably wasn't going to "crash" the party.

I later asked DH if I had been invited, and he confirmed that HE had been the one invited.

I figured, if they wanted me there, they would have shot me a message, and since they didn't, I spent my cold and rainy Sunday in my PJs!

Now everyone can't believe I didn't show. Was I wrong not to go even though I wasn't invited?

Did your husband really think he was the only one invited?

Does his family often only invite him to parties?

 

[nancys]

The good thing about living in the south is that our email invitation would have said, "You All are invited..."

 

[Skywalker]

Did your husband really think he was the only one invited?

Does his family often only invite him to parties?

No kidding! I think someone should sit your husband down and explain to him that now that he's a married man, invitations extended to him are generally going to be considered for BOTH of you...with obvious exceptions ie bachelor parties, boys night out, etc.

 

[Rora]

Cousin's children's birthday party? No thanks.

Exactly.

Honestly, the invite didn't say "Mr. Smith and Family" or the email wasn't started with "Hey John and Jane" and didn't include something along the lines of "Are you and Jane going to make it?".. I wouldn't go. It'd be a good excuse to get out of the party..

 

[cm8]

Exactly.

Honestly, the invite didn't say "Mr. Smith and Family" or the email wasn't started with "Hey John and Jane" and didn't include something along the lines of "Are you and Jane going to make it?".. I wouldn't go. It'd be a good excuse to get out of the party..

, It's not like they didn't know how to reach her either