Warning - Vent ... Shower / Wedding Registries

[Belle0101]

Sorry if this offends some but I just have a hard time with what's on my cousin's registry.

My cousin's bridal shower is this Saturday and she's registered at Target, Bed Bath & Beyond and a 3rd place that I forgot (Linens 'n Things maybe?).

They've been together for several years, they've been living together and bought a house a while back.

Anyhow, I'm looking at the registry and I'm

Some of the things they're asking for -

Duvet covers (would like 2) for $99.99 each
Bar Stool $79.99
Bath Towels $14.99 each
Down Comforter $199.99
Hamper $49.99
Vanity Bench $59.99
Bath Rug $59.99
Trash Can $99.99
5 qt Sautee Pan $179.99
Digital Camera $249.99
Printer Dock for Digital Camera $127.99

I know if two or three people pooled their monies then some of the higher priced items might be purchased.

And I don't mean to sound cheap but $59.99 for a Bath Rug?! Thankfully there are some less expensive items on the registry.

I understand the purpose behind a registry but does anybody really expect to receive the high dollar items? And whatever happened to giving slinky lingerie or "adult" items for the bridal shower?

Thanks for listening and like I said, I don't mean to offend but the things on her registry just shocked me.

 

[Sleepy]

It's sort of like the things you get in the mail asking for donations to charities. Instead of saying "Please give whatever you can afford", they have boxes for you to check based on what they want you to give. $25, $50, $100, etc. Not everyone can afford the higher amounts.

ETA......I would not mind having one of those $180 sautee pans

 

[Belle0101]

Sleepy, you are so right! I forgot all about those charities that ask for donations like that. It's a real turn off. You almost feel like "well, I could afford $10 right now but I guess that's not enough ... so I just won't send anything".

I'm thinking I might like to have that $199.99 down comforter seeing as how DH's puppy (when he's been bad he's DHs but if he's been good then he's mine ) decided to use my Mickey Mouse comforter for a chew toy.

 

[C.Ann]

$99.99 for a trash can???????????

I'd be buying something else - in a different store.. Unless it's a very close family member, I rarely adhere to only the stores where a couple is registered.. I find something creative on my own...

 

[ILUVMYBRIT]

Maybe I'm old fashioned but, I always thought bridal showers and wedding gifts were meant to help the young couple just starting out in life together. I never buy big gifts like that for couples that have been living together for a long time. I don't think its wrong for them to live together...but I just don't agree with some of the expensive things they ask for when they have already set up house.

 

[aprilgail2]

Digital Camera $249.99
Printer Dock for Digital Camera $127.99

And whatever happened to giving slinky lingerie or "adult" items for the bridal shower?

I can honestly say that I have never seen a digital camera on any bridal shower registry I was buying from!
And the silky lingerie and adult things are usually given at the bacholerette party here. This is why I really hate being in a wedding..you have to buy the dress (never has it been less than a 250.00 dress) plus shoes etc...then you have to throw the bridal shower and buy a gift...then you have to throw the bacholerette party and bring a gift...then you have to give a wedding gift...its just so way out of hand...if you are lucky the couple didn't have an engagement party so that will be one less gift you have to give...but if they have then you end up giving FOUR gifts for the one occassion plus paying for the shower, bacholerette party and dress...ends up being in the thousands!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Maybe I'm old fashioned but, I always thought bridal showers and wedding gifts were meant to help the young couple just starting out in life together. I never buy big gifts like that for couples that have been living together for a long time. I don't think its wrong for them to live together...but I just don't agree with some of the expensive things they ask for when they have already set up house.

Ditto here. When I got married, my now-husband and I were both still living with our parents. So we registered for practical things: towels, appliances, things like that, and we were overjoyed to get them.

I do admit, I registered for a soft serve maker just for the heck of it and I got it!!! My mom's best friend comes up with the new flavors for Mayfield ice cream, and she got it for us (along with a dozen coupons for free ice cream!).

 

[mickeyfan2]

I for never always get the couple what I want and skip the registery.

 

[bicker]

We got grief from my family for not registering, not providing multiple contexts for giving us gifts, etc. We actually moved into together 3 weeks AFTER we got married, and still felt like we could pull together our own household, thankyouverymuch. Folks who felt the need to give us something did so anyway (and some were pricy I'm sure), and we graciously expressed our appreciation, even when what they gave us were things that we needed, but were of much poorer quality than we would have gotten ourselves. We did feel somewhat obligated to keep and use the item, thereby delaying our own purchase of what we really wanted.

So ask yourself: What makes more sense?

1) Providing friends and family no indication of what you would like to have in your home, as my wife and I did.

2) Providing friends and family a clear indication of what you really would like to have in your home, perhaps putting some higher-priced items in the registry, as Belle's cousin did.

3) Providing friends and family a distorted view of what you'd like to have in your home, deliberately putting lower-priced items in the registry, even though you wouldn't really appreciate those items.

I vote for Belle's cousin!

 

[powellrj]

around here, those things would be group gifts. Lots of people go together and get a group gift. I have NEVER been to a shower where slinky lingerie or "adult" items are given. Then again the showers I go to are "G" rated because usually the bride and grooms grandmothers and aunts are guests.

 

[Disney Doll]

Just because someone is registered for something doesn't mean you have to buy it. A registry is suggestions.

When I was getting married, I registered for what I wanted. Someof it I got, some of it I didn't.

I also don't tend to base my gift-giving on my interpretation of someone's moral character. If I like someone and want to give them a gift I do. I don't care what their past lifestyle has been.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

One day I had to buy a gift for a registry and no joke...there was a couple there returning all of their gifts for money!!! I mean like they had 3 carts of stuff....

Get her a couple of bath towels and DONE.

 

[Sleepy]

3) Providing friends and family a distorted view of what you'd like to have in your home, deliberately putting lower-priced items in the registry, even though you wouldn't really appreciate those items.

I think what is distorted is the fact that one would suggest an outrageously priced item like a $99 trashcan when I doubt the couple themselves would be willing to ever pay that much for one. Decent trashcans can be found for much cheaper. Appreciation is recognizing the guest thought of you enough to get you something. Even if it is not exactly what you really wanted.

 

[Brianne]

Could be worse. When my BIL got married, their registry was 8 pages long, including entire bedding/decor for her son from a previous marriage. At least two pages of the registry was just for this kid.

We gave them a nice $1.99 card.

 

[C.Ann]

I think what is distorted is the fact that one would suggest an outrageously priced item like a $99 trashcan when I doubt the couple themselves would be willing to ever pay that much for one. Decent trashcans can be found for much cheaper. Appreciation is recognizing the guest thought of you enough to get you something. Even if it is not exactly what you really wanted.

------------------------
I totally agree - and I don't believe in "looking a gift horse in the mouth".. If someone is thoughtful enough to give me a gift, that's good enough for me - regardless of the "quality"..

 

[Megan23]

They just probably won't end up getting what they want if they register for stuff like that. They will be getting a whole ton of towels! We registered and the majority of people did not use it, though a good handful did. We registered for very modestly priced items with maybe one or two big items (a duvet cover for 60, a stand mixer for 180, and a knife set for 80). We ended up getting a lot of what we wanted, a lot of gift cards, and all of our "big" items! Sounds like they need to give people more options, or just ask for gift cards so that they can buy what they want later and people don't have to spend too much individually.

 

[Beth76]

$99.99 for a trash can???????????

It's probably stainless steel. They're cool-looking (link) and I would love to have one but I have a mental block paying that much for a trashcan. So I would probably put it on my registry....wishful thinking!

OP, if I were you, I would buy up the wedding gift early before all the cheap stuff is taken. That is if you intend on buying from the registry.

 

[kpm76]

It's so interesting to read the shower/wedding related threads because you learn alot about what's the norm in certain geographic areas and within certain ethnic groups or families. I don't think I have even given a non-registry item gift. It just seems natural for me to give what the couple has indicated they need/want. That being said, in no way are you obligated to choose a gift off the registry. If there is nothing you like or is within your price range, a nice gift certificate is always an option.

As for the slinky lingerie or adult items, all the showers I go to are "G" rated so these things are in the minority. I did receive a few very riske items at my own shower and I was mortified. Not only were they not my style at all, they were probably much more expensive than the wooden spoons I had on my registry. That stuff is not cheap. Of course, I was grateful but unless you know someone really well and can give it to them in privacy, I don't think those types of items are at all appropriate for a big shower with a mixed group.

 

[icebrat001]

A good trashcan can be expensive, as are nice pretty yet functional rugs.

Dear SO and I have lived together for nearly 3 years, been together for 4 and now we are buying a home. We needs lots of things. I'm not shocked that they still need things even though they have lived together for a while, but I am shocked that they added a digital camera on the list. It would have been nice if they added things that were in a variety of price ranges to make it more "friendly".

 

[jennyl772003]

The thing with registries is that you don't expect to get everything.

I registered for expensive pots and pans. I knew they were probably more then people would spend, but I registered for them anyway. I also made sure to register for plenty of less expensive stuff. You never know what other people might want to get you or if they may pool together. I did end up getting some of the pans from my MIL.

I have never been to a bridal shower where slinky things were given as gifts. I would not have wanted my grandma to see me open up a teddy!