VENT: I HATE parents!

[mjkacmom]

I can't believe all the rules about parents not being allowed to bring things in to school. How old are these children. My feeling is that I have the right to bring things into my childs school. I just sign into the office, and walk to the classroom. It only takes a second to place item in the childs desk or locker. Give him a quick hug, and leave. The teacher doesn't have to stop anything. I would never let my child go hungry. They are only in elementary school. When they are in 6th grade and older it might be different. It may be because we are a small town and everyone knows everyone, but I've never heard of it being a problem with parents bringing in items. I would never have even thought of it.

The parent should not have been rude to OP. I understand why she was upset, but she shouldn't have been rude.

We're not allowed to go to the classroom, so the office has to call the teacher, and the teacher then sends the child to the office. We are allowed to bring in things, but I'm sure it's frowned upon. My kids have forgetten things, but they've only been allowed to call me a handful of times, when I guess the items was REALLY needed. If they forget their homework, they get marked down - sounds fair to me!

 

[DebD4T]

I can't believe all the rules about parents not being allowed to bring things in to school. How old are these children. My feeling is that I have the right to bring things into my childs school. I just sign into the office, and walk to the classroom. It only takes a second to place item in the childs desk or locker. Give him a quick hug, and leave. The teacher doesn't have to stop anything. I would never let my child go hungry. They are only in elementary school. When they are in 6th grade and older it might be different. It may be because we are a small town and everyone knows everyone, but I've never heard of it being a problem with parents bringing in items. I would never have even thought of it.

The parent should not have been rude to OP. I understand why she was upset, but she shouldn't have been rude.

I am not trying to be snarky or anything...but you are actually allowed to enter the classroom and hug your child during class???!!!

That seems like it would be so disruptive to the teacher!!!

And what happens when one child sees that and starts to cry because their parent isn't there?

I am being totally serious here... it just seems like a strange practice to me.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

You just made me remember that my DS14 told me last night he needed lunch money. I just looked up his account on-line and he has $0.00 exactly.

I hope he has some money in his wallet for lunch today.

Yes, I forgot to write a check, but he should have made sure he had a check before he left today. Not eating lunch won't kill him, but he'll sure be hungry when he gets off the bus.

 

[nuke]

My son's school has a no deliver policy. You forget something, so sad-too bad. The kids learn quick to double check that backpack before leaving the house in the morning.

 

[pjb0216]

We are lucky in our school that you can pay online for their lunch. Both my DS's take lunch, but I leave a little money in their online account in case they forget. When my older DS was in Kindergarten I took a few things up to school that he had forgotten, after that I stopped. It was hard to see him accept what happened if he forgot, but he doesn't forget things anymore! DS's school really frowns on dropoffs during the day. In my DS's 3rd grade class, you are supposed to take your homework out when you get into the class and your reading book and turn them in the tray and hang up your bookbag. If you forget to turn in your homework, you are not allowed to go back to the cubby to get your bookbag and it is considered late. That only happened to him one time, after that he cleans out his bookbag every morning!

 

[Mkrop]

Our school secretary is awesome, I think she handles a lot of frontline stuff.

Our school you are not allowed to the classrooms, if a child forgot their lunch, there is a bench at the front door (inside) that you are to leave it on, clearly labeled, the lunch ladies gather them before lunch and then hand them out.

Glasses, the child would be called up to the office.

Medicine would have to go to the nurses office not allowed to go directly to the child.

I have been in the classrooms volunteering and yes those small calls down to the classroom are disruptive, and it does take a few moments to get the kids back on track.

 

[Ephany]

So we're pulling into the parking lot today, and DD says she forgot her coat. I ask her what she expects me to do and she says go home and get it. Ha, she knows me better than that. So apparently I'm the meanest mommy in the world (according to her) because I wouldn't rush home and grab it just in case. It's 84 degrees today, I think she'll be fine.

I did find it funny that this thread was the first thing that popped into my head during the exchange.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I am not trying to be snarky or anything...but you are actually allowed to enter the classroom and hug your child during class???!!!

That seems like it would be so disruptive to the teacher!!!

And what happens when one child sees that and starts to cry because their parent isn't there?

I am being totally serious here... it just seems like a strange practice to me.

I'm not trying to be snarky either.

I don't want to be disruptive to the teacher. I have only brought items to school 2 times in the 3 years my children have been in school. (not counting preschool) Once I waited outside the door until they finished a test. It would seem strange to me to be banned from the classroom. I volunteer a lot, and the teachers allow us to just observe the class if we want. I've never seen a child cry because their parent isn't there. I have had some of the other kids come over and hug me before. Like I said it's a small town. My son's teacher was a 1st grade teacher when I was in 1st grade. Also his gym teacher was my gym teacher. I went to school with most of the kid's parents. We still have to sign in at the office. So no strangers roaming the halls. I'm glad our school is the way it is. Again I'm talking about young children. 6th grade and up would be different.

I will be bringing in their show and tell tomorrow. Both boys want to bring our pet lizard. Their teachers said okay as long as your mom brings it in because lizards can't ride the bus.

 

[ols386]

I think, unless it's medication, then whatever it is, a book, a paper, etc., then it would just have to wait until the next day. Kids have to learn responsibility at a young age. That's not to say that sometimes they will forget, that's just part of being a kid. As long as the parents are willing to run back and forth to school, delivering things that the child has forgotten, how will the kids ever learn?

That's part of the problem with kids and young adults today, parents have a tendency to do too much for their children. I understand wanting your child to have a better life than you, the parent; I think we all want that. I also understand that things are so different today than they were when I was a kid...scarry times for parents raising children these days. But I've even heard reports about parents of their adult children, calling the boss of their child about such things as wages, evaluations, etc. Or parents who require that their college-age kids call them on their cell phone, or whatever, at certain times each day, just to check-in, or just to give them an update about what their homework is for that day, and did they finish their homework. Seems like that would make the kids feel like his/her parent didn't have much confidence in them (the child) being able to run their own life and take care of themselves.

 

[daughtersrus]

Our schools frown upon it as well because of the disruption to the entire class. Imagine what it would be like if all 800+ students (K-5th) forgot something. It's not as simple as calling the classroom. The class may be outside doing a project, in gym, library, art, music... The class may be in the room but Little Susie maybe in the resource room, working with a therapist...
If a parent does bring something, they would not be allowed to the classroom to give Susie a hug.

If the child is out of lunch money, they can either pay on-line or the child can get a "loan lunch" twice. If they still don't have money in their account, they are given a PB&J sandwich (unless of course they are allergic). Once money is put back into the account, the loan is paid off and when they run out of money next time, they'll get a "loan lunch" again.

Not only do our teachers say not to bring things to school, but they also say not to sign anything if the child hands it to you in the morning before they're walking out the door. They are not only trying to teach responsibility but if you sign it in a hurry, it's unlikely that you'll have time to read what you're signing.

 

[rie'smom]

I can't believe all the rules about parents not being allowed to bring things in to school. How old are these children. My feeling is that I have the right to bring things into my childs school. I just sign into the office, and walk to the classroom. It only takes a second to place item in the childs desk or locker. Give him a quick hug, and leave. The teacher doesn't have to stop anything. I would never let my child go hungry. They are only in elementary school. When they are in 6th grade and older it might be different. It may be because we are a small town and everyone knows everyone, but I've never heard of it being a problem with parents bringing in items. I would never have even thought of it.

The parent should not have been rude to OP. I understand why she was upset, but she shouldn't have been rude.

It starts in kindergarten. They're teaching the children self responsibility from an early age. Believe it or not, there are very, very few kids who forget things.

The kid's lunches are paid as part of tuition, so no one goes hungry.

 

[CowboyCO]

Also stepping in a parent. Occasionally kids forget things. If I can I'll drop it off. A coat, if it's going to get colder by the end of the day. Homework folder (kids are 9&7), lunch occasionally. Part of what happens in every school office every day is that things get dropped off for students. It's part of the job to make sure those things get to the student without interrupting class, if possible. It can be frustrating for a parent when they take something to the school for their child and they don't get it.

I remember one time my 1st grader (last year) packed his lunch and left it on the driveway as we were getting in the car. He realized it when got to school. I ran back, got his lunch and dropped it at the office. The office person said they would make sure he got it. Well, he didn't. DW picked him up from school and he was in tears because Dad told him he would bring him lunch, and he didn't so all he got was a PBJ and milk from the lunch lady (remember he's 6). I get home from work and DS is still upset that Dad didn't bring him his lunch. I explained that I did bring him his lunch and that something must have happened. I reinforced that taking his lunch box was still his responsibility. The next morning, I went to office to try and find his lunchbox and it was still in the office. The gal immediately went into CYA mode. A simple "sorry" would have sufficed. Everybody makes mistakes.

 

[dogluva]

Well, I guess there's nothing to be done then. Just accept the situation and give up, since it won't ever get better.

I guess I'm just a mean mom. My kids have forgotten lunches and they have had to learn to deal. The choice is eat the school lunch or be hungry. It might not be much of a choice, but it is a choice. FWIW, I've never heard of a child, who didn't have a medical issue, have any ill effects from having to wait a couple of hours to get something to eat.

I make it a point to NEVER bring in anything my kids forgot. And they know this. One of my son's does not like to eat the school lunch but if he forget to grab the lunch I made, too bad, so sad. He can eat an emergency lunch and if he doesn't like it he goes hungry. I feel if he was hungry enough he would so I don't feel bad. I want my kids to grow up responsible. He has ADHD too but I would never use that as an excuse. The real world won't.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm not trying to be snarky either.

I don't want to be disruptive to the teacher. I have only brought items to school 2 times in the 3 years my children have been in school. (not counting preschool) Once I waited outside the door until they finished a test. It would seem strange to me to be banned from the classroom. I volunteer a lot, and the teachers allow us to just observe the class if we want. I've never seen a child cry because their parent isn't there. I have had some of the other kids come over and hug me before. Like I said it's a small town. My son's teacher was a 1st grade teacher when I was in 1st grade. Also his gym teacher was my gym teacher. I went to school with most of the kid's parents. We still have to sign in at the office. So no strangers roaming the halls. I'm glad our school is the way it is. Again I'm talking about young children. 6th grade and up would be different.

I will be bringing in their show and tell tomorrow. Both boys want to bring our pet lizard. Their teachers said okay as long as your mom brings it in because lizards can't ride the bus.

We have the same type of town - kids go to DH's elementary school (our town is less than 3 miles long, 5 elementary schools, I went to one of the others), with lots of kids who's parents we went to school with, everyone knows everyone (and everyone's business). Actually, I think that's why they DON'T allow parents in the schools (no volunteers) - nobody wants to hear gossip about the teachers and children!

 

[declansdad]

I don't think the issue has anything to do with who forgot what or who put what in who's bin that didn't get checked, etc. etc. The issue is that the caller apparantly screamed at the OP after she already addressed the issue in a polite manner. It is not acceptable to scream at other adults, IMO, unless they are about to be hit by a train or something.

If these people are so cultured, they should have enough education and class to be able to verbally express themselves appropriately. But oddly enough, they are the worst, aren't they?

Excellent post, people seem to be missing this.

 

[ctinct]

I also live in CT, OP, and I have a few friends who have taught in both the artsy, wealthy communities, and the urban schools. They noticed a huge difference in the sense of entitlement mentality in the parents in the former.

Hugs for your tough day. If it's any consolation, it happens in just about all jobs, particularly retail and restaurant jobs. People somehow forget about common courtesy (I guess it's not so common after all) and scream at you for the littlest things. I was called stupid once because I charged a customer .33 for an item way back in the days when you had to hand enter stuff in the cash register (no scanners). The item was on sale for 3/$1.00. I tried to explain to the customer how .33 was the correct price, but he just screamed that I was stupid and insisted the mgr. be called. Now, I work in a school, but thankfully have yet to be yelled at by a parent. I'm sure my day is coming, though.

 

[Heidict]

I am a school secretary for a school for grades 3-5 in a VERY affluent, artsy community. In short, many of the parents are "out there"

I am so dying to know what town you work in. I'm hoping it's not the one I live in, but, considering the ones I have run into at the store, it just might be.

 

[MM27]

In fact, she has spoken to other parents who have said the same thing about me, so it must be true...I am the rude one.

Isn't it amazing how you never hear from those "other parents". Don't let it get to you. She didn't have anything else to say so she had to bring others into it that weren't even involved to make herself look better.

It sounds like if anyone was to blame besides the student for forgetting the book, it's the teacher for not checking after lunch. I'm sorry that you had to take the brunt of a parent's anger. In my job, I often get blamed for the mistakes of others so I can relate.

Why in the world would it be the job of the teacher to retrieve items that belong to students?

Wow, I am in the school at least a dozen times throughout the year because something was left at home..the receptionists at my kids' school greet me with kindness and sweetness, and call my kiddo up to the office to get the thing they forgot. I'm glad it's not such an imposition at my school if I or my kid forgets something like medication or a book they will need. Our school NEVER initiates a call that something was forgotten.


I am definitely not saying this parent had any right to talk to the OP in this manner, but it sounds like a there was a little attitude on both parts. JMO.

It's not an imposition if it's something important, but when you have kids leaving the classroom because they left homework at home or an instrument, then it becomes a problem. So they wanted to go to their music lesson, but couldn't because they forgot the instrument. Big deal. I bet the next day they have a music lesson they'll remember.

I can't believe all the rules about parents not being allowed to bring things in to school. How old are these children. My feeling is that I have the right to bring things into my childs school. I just sign into the office, and walk to the classroom. It only takes a second to place item in the childs desk or locker. Give him a quick hug, and leave. The teacher doesn't have to stop anything. I would never let my child go hungry. They are only in elementary school. When they are in 6th grade and older it might be different. It may be because we are a small town and everyone knows everyone, but I've never heard of it being a problem with parents bringing in items. I would never have even thought of it.

The parent should not have been rude to OP. I understand why she was upset, but she shouldn't have been rude.

That would never work in my school. You'd be tackled by the security guard before you made it down the first hallway

 

[TimeforMe]

I am so dying to know what town you work in. I'm hoping it's not the one I live in, but, considering the ones I have run into at the store, it just might be.

I'll send you a pm.

I don't think the issue has anything to do with who forgot what or who put what in who's bin that didn't get checked, etc. etc. The issue is that the caller apparantly screamed at the OP after she already addressed the issue in a polite manner. It is not acceptable to scream at other adults, IMO, unless they are about to be hit by a train or something.

If these people are so cultured, they should have enough education and class to be able to verbally express themselves appropriately. But oddly enough, they are the worst, aren't they?

Yes, they sure are!

 

[LargoLori]

The conversation is this, "Mrs. Smith, could you send kiddo to the office please?" Teacher says "kiddo, go to the office". ( I am standing there, it takes all of 5 seconds.) Yes, it is an interruption, but not a big one. And what can you do? I am not perfect, I forget stuff, so do my kids. If the kid forgets his lunch, book that he needs in class, meds, he needs it.

One interruption may not be a big deal but what if there are several parents doing the same thing?