VENT: I HATE parents!

[TimeforMe]

Of course, I don't really mean that......especially since I am one myself. I just need to vent a little here. I am a school secretary for a school for grades 3-5 in a VERY affluent, artsy community. In short, many of the parents are "out there" and there is a very strong pervasiveness of entitlement--especially when it comes to their little cherubs. So today alone we must've had about 20-25 items that the kids forgot and parents brought into school for them. Many of these items came without being called for. In other words, many parents realized little Johnny left without (snack, instrument, homework, book fair money) ...you name it and knew they would want it. We do call into the classroom when necessary but if it's not time sensitive or something the child really needs (glasses) we put the items in the teachers' mailboxes and they're supposed to check after their lunch.

OK--mom comes in with Johnny's book (like a fiction sort of book). I put it in teacher's mailbox as it is right before lunch and know teacher will be checking soon. Of course, teacher doesn't check, Johnny goes home with out book, mom calls absolutely SCREAMING at me that Johnny is freaking out as he has homework that involves that book. I tell her I don't appreciate the way she's talking to me and she proceeds to tell me that I am rude. In her eyes, it doesn't matter how she treats me...I am the rude one. In fact, she has spoken to other parents who have said the same thing about me, so it must be true...I am the rude one. I tell her she's entitled to her opinion, that I'm sorry she feels that way. She screams at me some more telling me that in the future she will just bring the book directly to the classroom. I know I should have let it go, but the witch in me mentions that she's not allowed to do that. "How then" she asks, "is my son supposed to get his book.?" I mention that maybe if he brought it to school like he was supposed to this could all be avoided. That went over well, as you can imagine.

I hung up with her, went into my principal's office and had a meltdown. Why are people so difficult? We're all just doing the best we can, right?

Thanks for listening and letting me vent.

P.S. plus I don't feel well and have been home sick for a day and a half. Maybe I should have stayed home today, too.

 

[Piecey]

That stinks...

I know sometimes it just comes out when you don't really mean for it too... but my boss would NOT be happy with me saying that to a "customer" (which I realize isn't exactly the same thing as a parent, especially whenever parents are talking about their kids!!)

She'd want to be the one to bring up points like that (and she has several times) and would be very, very upset with me for giving anyone even the teeniest bit of attitude!

 

[stashbin]

I am a teacher and I know how you feel. When a parent comes to the school they expect for you to be "Johnny-on-the-Spot". Our secretary doesn't take anything from anyone. In fact, all the parents know not to rub her the wrong way. I think if someone wants something, the best way to get it is through kindness. Looking back....how COULD she have responded to you killing her with kindness? I mean sugar melting make you want to throw up kindness...if she WANTED to be a witch she couldn't have. All the while, that would make her even more angry and very UNsatisfied at the fact she couldn't go off on you!

 

[teacups]

Stepping in as a parent. I have taken things to the school such as medication and the secretary promised to get it there ASAP and what happens? Nothing. We would be banned from the class, and then we rely on the office or teachers to help. No body is perfect, and certainly little Jonny isnt as he's just a kid. Now, your situation does not sound anything like my story... but just showing the other side.

Of course, we homeschool now so this isnt a problelm for me anymore.

I'm sorry your day was ruined.
I'm sure MANY of the parents appreciate you!

 

[BellaBear]

Of course, I don't really mean that......especially since I am one myself. I just need to vent a little here. I am a school secretary for a school for grades 3-5 in a VERY affluent, artsy community. In short, many of the parents are "out there" and there is a very strong pervasiveness of entitlement--especially when it comes to their little cherubs. So today alone we must've had about 20-25 items that the kids forgot and parents brought into school for them. Many of these items came without being called for. In other words, many parents realized little Johnny left without (snack, instrument, homework, book fair money) ...you name it and knew they would want it. We do call into the classroom when necessary but if it's not time sensitive or something the child really needs (glasses) we put the items in the teachers' mailboxes and they're supposed to check after their lunch.

OK--mom comes in with Johnny's book (like a fiction sort of book). I put it in teacher's mailbox as it is right before lunch and know teacher will be checking soon. Of course, teacher doesn't check, Johnny goes home with out book, mom calls absolutely SCREAMING at me that Johnny is freaking out as he has homework that involves that book. I tell her I don't appreciate the way she's talking to me and she proceeds to tell me that I am rude. In her eyes, it doesn't matter how she treats me...I am the rude one. In fact, she has spoken to other parents who have said the same thing about me, so it must be true...I am the rude one. I tell her she's entitled to her opinion, that I'm sorry she feels that way. She screams at me some more telling me that in the future she will just bring the book directly to the classroom. I know I should have let it go, but the witch in me mentions that she's not allowed to do that. "How then" she asks, "is my son supposed to get his book.?" I mention that maybe if he brought it to school like he was supposed to this could all be avoided. That went over well, as you can imagine.

I hung up with her, went into my principal's office and had a meltdown. Why are people so difficult? We're all just doing the best we can, right?

Thanks for listening and letting me vent.

P.S. plus I don't feel well and have been home sick for a day and a half. Maybe I should have stayed home today, too.

I was going to go back to school to get a teacher's license and after dealing with IMPOSSIBLE parents last year working on our school fundraiser, I decided I need a job where I didn't have to deal with parents. They can be horrid to work with and I'm one too.

 

[TimeforMe]

I am a teacher and I know how you feel. When a parent comes to the school they expect for you to be "Johnny-on-the-Spot". Our secretary doesn't take anything from anyone. In fact, all the parents know not to rub her the wrong way. I think if someone wants something, the best way to get it is through kindness. Looking back....how COULD she have responded to you killing her with kindness? I mean sugar melting make you want to throw up kindness...if she WANTED to be a witch she couldn't have. All the while, that would make her even more angry and very UNsatisfied at the fact she couldn't go off on you!

I get your point, however, she didn't even give me that opportunity. I started to be my usual, nice self apologized, etc. but that wasn't good enough for her. She wanted my head on a plate and wouldn't settle for anything less. Plus, what happened to basic decency? Treating another human being with kindness and respect. Conversely, if she had called and nicely related the story, she would have gotten a lot more. Does being a parent mean you don't have to show common decency on the telephone whether you're right or wrong?

 

[Planogirl]

It sounds like if anyone was to blame besides the student for forgetting the book, it's the teacher for not checking after lunch. I'm sorry that you had to take the brunt of a parent's anger. In my job, I often get blamed for the mistakes of others so I can relate.

 

[manning]

I didn't deal with teachers, but I had a way of dealing with people like that. When I got a chance to speak I would start talking and then hang up in a middle of a sentence. I wait five minutes and call back claiming we got cut off and had trouble getting back as their line was busy. That threw them off their game and gave me a chance to collect my thoughts.

Or take down the info and tell them I would research it and call back. Of course I had the info. I would call back about an hour later and tell them I had a heck of a time finding it stating I had to go outside the system to get it. Thinking I went out of my way they were greatful.

When they played games with me, I would play games with them. My boss knew what I was doing and he would just smile and say "you are bad".

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Wow, I am in the school at least a dozen times throughout the year because something was left at home..the receptionists at my kids' school greet me with kindness and sweetness, and call my kiddo up to the office to get the thing they forgot. I'm glad it's not such an imposition at my school if I or my kid forgets something like medication or a book they will need. Our school NEVER initiates a call that something was forgotten.


I am definitely not saying this parent had any right to talk to the OP in this manner, but it sounds like a there was a little attitude on both parts. JMO.

 

[TimeforMe]

Wow, I am in the school at least a dozen times throughout the year because something was left at home..the receptionists at my kids' school greet me with kindness and sweetness, and call my kiddo up to the office to get the thing they forgot. I'm glad it's not such an imposition at my school if I or my kid forgets something like medication or a book they will need. Our school NEVER initiates a call that something was forgotten.


I am definitely not saying this parent had any right to talk to the OP in this manner, but it sounds like a there was a little attitude on both parts. JMO.

Not sure what the part in bold refers to?

I truly don't view it as an "imposition". What it is is this: everytime I call into the classroom, the teacher has to stop what they're doing (teaching), walk to the phone, answer it and then have the student come to the office to retrieve whatever's been forgotten. Have this happen several times throughout the day, EVERY DAY and how much instructional time do you think is being lost. And like I said, if it's something important (like medication, glasses, etc.) we call immediately.

I wonder how upset the parents would be if they realized how much instructional time is lost during the school day because of needless interruptions? As a parent, I wouldn't be too happy.

 

[Teacher03]

I'm a teacher and a parent, and unless whatever was forgotten is absolutely necessary (lunch, medicine, etc.), it shouldn't be brought to the school. Parents, allow your child to take the consequences, if any, for being forgetful! Once again, ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES! Ok, I won't say anymore. (Can you tell this has been a problem in my class ?)

 

[TimeforMe]

I'm a teacher and a parent, and unless whatever was forgotten is absolutely necessary (lunch, medicine, etc.), it shouldn't be brought to the school. Parents, allow your child to take the consequences, if any, for being forgetful! Once again, ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES! Ok, I won't say anymore. (Can you tell this has been a problem in my class ?)

Thank you. How will they learn? And before anyone gets their panties in a wad, I'm not talking about the occasional left lunch, etc. And Teacher03, it's a problem for our teachers as well.

 

[disykat]

There is no excuse for parents calling up and screaming at the school secretary over a book being left at school. I can see why you were upset and didn't respond with your best self. I find it amusing that when little Johnny forgot and the parent dropped everything and ran to the school, yet when the book is left at school her solution is to call and scream?

My kids are in 8th grade and 10th grade and I can't think of a single time they've left anything at home that was more important than them bearing the consequences of their own forgetfulness.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Of course, I don't really mean that......especially since I am one myself. I just need to vent a little here. I am a school secretary for a school for grades 3-5 in a VERY affluent, artsy community. In short, many of the parents are "out there" and there is a very strong pervasiveness of entitlement--especially when it comes to their little cherubs. So today alone we must've had about 20-25 items that the kids forgot and parents brought into school for them. Many of these items came without being called for. In other words, many parents realized little Johnny left without (snack, instrument, homework, book fair money) ...you name it and knew they would want it. We do call into the classroom when necessary but if it's not time sensitive or something the child really needs (glasses) we put the items in the teachers' mailboxes and they're supposed to check after their lunch.

OK--mom comes in with Johnny's book (like a fiction sort of book). I put it in teacher's mailbox as it is right before lunch and know teacher will be checking soon. Of course, teacher doesn't check, Johnny goes home with out book, mom calls absolutely SCREAMING at me that Johnny is freaking out as he has homework that involves that book. I tell her I don't appreciate the way she's talking to me and she proceeds to tell me that I am rude. In her eyes, it doesn't matter how she treats me...I am the rude one. In fact, she has spoken to other parents who have said the same thing about me, so it must be true...I am the rude one. I tell her she's entitled to her opinion, that I'm sorry she feels that way. She screams at me some more telling me that in the future she will just bring the book directly to the classroom. I know I should have let it go, but the witch in me mentions that she's not allowed to do that. "How then" she asks, "is my son supposed to get his book.?" I mention that maybe if he brought it to school like he was supposed to this could all be avoided. That went over well, as you can imagine.

I hung up with her, went into my principal's office and had a meltdown. Why are people so difficult? We're all just doing the best we can, right?

Thanks for listening and letting me vent.

P.S. plus I don't feel well and have been home sick for a day and a half. Maybe I should have stayed home today, too.

I guess I don't know what THIS means? I read it as the parents brought the items in to school without being called. What DOES it mean?

 

[LaraK]

I mean this in the nicest way, but if you hate parents I'm kinda thinking you made a poor job choice.

 

[scottishduffy]

Yeah, I vowed never to become a teacher after a couple summer spent as a camp counselor.

One summer at a Y camp and one at a sleepaway camp. At the Y camp I had one mom ream me out for 20 minutes because her kid couldn't find his lunch box and it was, or course, my job to keep track of all 25 lunchboxes. I helped the kid look and he *swore* up and down he had checked the lunch bin. I checked it a second time and there was his box... he never even bothered to look. Of course he says it was *my* fault his lunch box was on bottom and Mom yells again because her snowflakes lunch box was not visible on top of the bin. Another mom wanted me to apply sun screen to her son every 90 minutes, she was mad when I explained I could not take off her 8 yr olds shirt to do that.

At the sleepaway camp I had a parent call me the 2nd night of camp spazzing because she had not gotten a letter from her daughter. We informed her mail usually takes at least 3 days in transit. She called me a liar when I said the kid was having fun and had not been homesick. Her daughter honestly was having a good time... many of the girls only wrote home on sundays when we forced them. The camp director had to deal with Mom calling every single day and wanted to talk for at least 30 minutes to get up-dates on her kid... who her kid was friends with... where the friends were from (couldn't tell her)...what she ate each day.... she was NUTS.

 

[TimeforMe]

I guess I don't know what THIS means? I read it as the parents brought the items in to school without being called. What DOES it mean?

Oh. What it means is that the kids didn't call home for them. The parents took it upon themselves to bring it in because they "thought" they needed them.

LaraK: LOL. I meant that tongue in cheek, of course. Many parents are very, very nice and appreciative, but there are some.....

 

[NHdisneylover]

Stepping in as a parent. I have taken things to the school such as medication and the secretary promised to get it there ASAP and what happens? Nothing. We would be banned from the class, and then we rely on the office or teachers to help. No body is perfect, and certainly little Jonny isnt as he's just a kid. Now, your situation does not sound anything like my story... but just showing the other side.

Of course, we homeschool now so this isnt a problelm for me anymore.

I'm sorry your day was ruined.
I'm sure MANY of the parents appreciate you!

We homeschool now too. One reason is my kids were so very frustrated spending hours and hours in school every week to cover about 4 hours worth of material while most of the day was squandered on lining up, taking roll, sending kids to the office to pick up forgottern items, etc. I also did not like the lack of accountability in school. I honestly feel that unless it is medication (which I agree with you MUST be taken to the kid ASAP), a child should be allwoed to have an item "delivered" no more than once or twice a school year. After that, if you forget your book, or snack (unless diabetic and hten it should be considered medicine), or whatever, the natural consequence would be to not have it that day (and have to make up reading at home, or skip snack, etc.). If parents and school always bail out kids when htey forget things the kids will keep forgetting. Yep, I am a mean, cold hearted mom

OP--I feel your pain. Vent away

 

[TimeforMe]

It sounds like if anyone was to blame besides the student for forgetting the book, it's the teacher for not checking after lunch. I'm sorry that you had to take the brunt of a parent's anger. In my job, I often get blamed for the mistakes of others so I can relate.

Thanks. My principal made the same point. I didn't want to throw the teacher under the bus, but I'm sure she'll hear it, too.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Not sure what the part in bold refers to?

I truly don't view it as an "imposition". What it is is this: everytime I call into the classroom, the teacher has to stop what they're doing (teaching), walk to the phone, answer it and then have the student come to the office to retrieve whatever's been forgotten. Have this happen several times throughout the day, EVERY DAY and how much instructional time do you think is being lost. And like I said, if it's something important (like medication, glasses, etc.) we call immediately.

I wonder how upset the parents would be if they realized how much instructional time is lost during the school day because of needless interruptions? As a parent, I wouldn't be too happy.

The conversation is this, "Mrs. Smith, could you send kiddo to the office please?" Teacher says "kiddo, go to the office". ( I am standing there, it takes all of 5 seconds.) Yes, it is an interruption, but not a big one. And what can you do? I am not perfect, I forget stuff, so do my kids. If the kid forgets his lunch, book that he needs in class, meds, he needs it.


It sounds like your school is set up for what works for you. Having the teacher pick the stuff up from her mailbox. But it didn't work in the above instance. The mother should have NEVER EVER gone off on you like that, but she was told something was going to be done..and it didn't happen. She definitely overreacted.