Vent! Easter gift from neighbors

[Mkrop]

Didn't you say it was the chicken who poops gum? Your neighbor probably thought it was funny and didn't even give a second thought to the gum issue. I wouldn't have either and my DD14 just got her braces off and couldn't have gum.

I don't think your neighbor did anything wrong....silly string and a poopin chicken? Really, how can you go wrong there?

It WASNT the pooping chicken. we could at least play with that It is just a plastic chicken with gum in it. Nothing to play with.

 

[Jpgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpgirl
Let it go. Maybe she never had braces or had kids with braces. I know lots of people who don't know the ins/outs of brace wearing.

I had braces and was quite successful at chewing gum and eating popcorn-but don't tell your child (or my mom) that

I really have no idea what people who have braces can and cannot eat. Why would the OP assume that this is general knowledge? I've never had braces and either has anyone in my family. The few friends that I knew with braces seemed to chew gum.

Ummm that was my point to the OP. The last part was that I wasn't supposed to chew gum but did anyway (unbeknownst to my mom) and not to tell her child so he wouldn't break the rules

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Play nice, y'all!


And MKrop, if it's any comfort to you, I too have thrown away candy. The horror! My 4 year old will not eat candy. Not interested in the stuff at all. Not that I'm complaining about that. When she comes home from different events at preschool with loads of candy (like gum and jolly ranchers, which imo a 4 year old should not have) what to do, what to do? I've tried giving them to other moms. They don't want anymore candy in their house. I've tried to get DH to take it to work. They don't want it. They're all on diets. So into the trash it goes. Sorry, but that's life! Don't feel bad about that!

And you've been on these boards much longer than I have, but I've quickly realized by reading posts that you have to have pretty thick skin around here.

By the way, there are a lot of people allergic to spider bites. Could you change the spidey gif in your signature too?

Have a great evening! I feel for your frustration

 

[kimmikayb]

It WASNT the pooping chicken. we could at least play with that It is just a plastic chicken with gum in it. Nothing to play with.

oh dang it! A gum poopin chicken and silly string would have been a night of entertainment for me!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

People vent about Christmas gifts too.

Yeah, but Jeafl gets a pass--she TOTALLY deserves it!!

 

[mdrob214]

He knows not to ever mentioned a gift being different. I will explain that I put them in there that was a bad call on my part I guess. I winning all around today huh.

Niether of my kids like soda either so it is hard.

I wouldn't say bad call. Just that my kids have big mouths! Even though I tell them not to do something, they invariably do. I wouldn't worry about what everyone says. These are just people who don't know you jumping on your case--isn't that what the DIS is all about some days?
This whole "I am right and your way must be wrong since it's different than mine" attitude is something I could do without.

PS--and I throw all kinds of things away from the kids' halloween/Christmas/Vday parties at school. I don't like them eating things like airheads, and double bubble, etc. so I just tell them I'm chucking it and they don't seem to care. Yeah, someone paid for it and all but it's what I do anyway.

 

[Mkrop]

It sounds like exchanges should just be banned altogether or people need to make a list of what's acceptable and what isn't as not to offend someone. Who knew a nice gesture could be taken so far out of context?

So would you say the same thing to someone say Lara or another parent who has a child with an allergy if they came on and vented about how someone gave their kid stuff. Yes it was a nice gesture on that person's part I never said it wasnt a nice gesture and I have my kids thank them accordingly.

But my kid still cant have any of it and like I said I made the assumption (WHICH WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG) that everyone knew a child with braces cant have gum. I wouldnt give child that I knew had a peanut allergy a snickers.

 

[happygirl]

Wow, I just have no words on this one

 

[Mkrop]

Yeah, but Jeafl gets a pass--she TOTALLY deserves it!!

yes she does Cookie monster sweater and all!

 

[Aimeedyan]

You can't chew gum with braces or have jelly beans? I wore them for 4 years - never once gave up those things. Neither does anyone else I know.

*shrugs*

 

[disykat]

I think most of us get ticked off by people trying to do something nice at some time of the other.

I would have been venting about an expected gift exchange for Easter. Stop the gift giving already! I haven't even prepared my own kid's Easter stuff yet, I don't really want to run out to get the neighbor kids something!

I've vented in the past about neighbors bringing us cookies at Christmas - full of peanuts that aren't allowed at our house due to allergies and they know it. (Boy did I get reamed for that one here - how dare I get mad at someone trying to do something nice!)

I get irritated when people hold the door when I'm still 20 feet away and I feel like I'm forced to hurry so they can go.

I get irritated when drivers slow to let me in, when I want them to just keep going so I can merge behind them.

Sure, you should try to take people's intentions into account, but IMO anyone who thinks they never get irritated when people are trying to be nice isn't being totally truthful.

 

[PaulaSue]

OP, sorry but I have no clue that you can't do gum and jelly beans with braces. I don't know anyone who had braces when they had them. KWIM

I'm sure it is an innocent mistake.

 

[Mkrop]

You can't chew gum with braces or have jelly beans? I wore them for 4 years - never once gave up those things. Neither does anyone else I know.

*shrugs*

we got letters from the ortho and big magnet for our fridge with all the banned foods. Like I said gum ws on my list back in the early 80s so I thought this was the same all around and acroos the board. In my head braces=no gum. The DIS is teaching me that this is not the case. I stand corrected.

 

[Camicar]

My dd just got her braces off after nearly 4 years. She chewed gum and ate jelly beans for all of those years. I asked her ortho and he said it was fine. She never once loosened a bracket or a wire as a result.

So while I wouldn't give a kid with a peanut allergy a Snickers bar, it wouldn't occur to me that a kid in braces couldn't have gum or jelly beans.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

So would you say the same thing to someone say Lara or another parent who has a child with an allergy if they came on and vented about how someone gave their kid stuff. Yes it was a nice gesture on that person's part I never said it wasnt a nice gesture and I have my kids thank them accordingly.

But my kid still cant have any of it and like I said I made the assumption (WHICH WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG) that everyone knew a child with braces cant have gum. I wouldnt give child that I knew had a peanut allergy a snickers.

First of all, I have no idea who Lara even is. Second of all, if my child had a severe food allergy I would think I would be diligent enough to check and see what someone gave them. If it was an event where I couldn't personally be there to check what my child was getting I'd make darned sure that the people over the event knew the situation. And if my child was 10 I guess I would assume he's old enough to know what he can and can't have as well.

But that being said, a food allergy is way different than a 10 year old with braces who receives gum from a neighbor so I don't think the 2 really can be compared. Your son is 10. I think he is probably old enough to learn that there will be disappointments in life. The neighbor was being nice and probably didn't know any better. Just throw the gum out or give it away and quit complaining and defending why the neighbor was wrong on this thread. I think it's time to let it go and move on.

I would love to stay and discuss this some more but I have my own child to tend to. Oh, and she's not quite 3 and I don't let her have gum either. That being said, she receives gum from people on nearly every holiday. I just tell her she can't have it because she is still too little and give her something else if there is something else available (otherwise she just does without). Life goes on and we survive. Your son will too, I promise! Have a wonderful Easter!

 

[kimmikayb]

I think most of us get ticked off by people trying to do something nice at some time of the other.

I would have been venting about an expected gift exchange for Easter. Stop the gift giving already! I haven't even prepared my own kid's Easter stuff yet, I don't really want to run out to get the neighbor kids something!

I've vented in the past about neighbors bringing us cookies at Christmas - full of peanuts that aren't allowed at our house due to allergies and they know it. (Boy did I get reamed for that one here - how dare I get mad at someone trying to do something nice!)

I get irritated when people hold the door when I'm still 20 feet away and I feel like I'm forced to hurry so they can go.

I get irritated when drivers slow to let me in, when I want them to just keep going so I can merge behind them.

Sure, you should try to take people's intentions into account, but IMO anyone who thinks they never get irritated when people are trying to be nice isn't being totally truthful.

so are we safe to assume you wouldn't like a gum poopin chicken from your neighbor? J/K, but I would have never thought to be irritated at some of those things. I am totally truthful when I say I don't get irritated at people trying to be nice to me.

 

[Mkrop]

First of all, I have no idea who Lara even is. Second of all, if my child had a severe food allergy I would think I would be diligent enough to check and see what someone gave them. If it was an event where I couldn't personally be there to check what my child was getting I'd make darned sure that the people over the event knew the situation. And if my child was 10 I guess I would assume he's old enough to know what he can and can't have as well.

But that being said, a food allergy is way different than a 10 year old with braces who receives gum from a neighbor so I don't think the 2 really can be compared. Your son is 10. I think he is probably old enough to learn that there will be disappointments in life. The neighbor was being nice and probably didn't know any better. Just throw the gum out or give it away and quit complaining and defending why the neighbor was wrong on this thread. I think it's time to let it go and move on.

I would love to stay and discuss this some more but I have my own child to tend to. Oh, and she's not quite 3 and I don't let her have gum either. That being said, she receives gum from people on nearly every holiday. I just tell her she can't have it because she is still too little and give her something else if there is something else available (otherwise she just does without). Life goes on and we survive. Your son will too, I promise! Have a wonderful Easter!

Lara was the psoter who mentioned her son and his allergy to chocolate.

 

[DisneyPhD]

You know, people give my son chocolate all the time...people I have expressly told he is allergic to chocolate...ever try to take a chocolate bar from a three year old? It's joyful!!!

I agree with the OP that nothing should be said, but having a kid cry because he can't eat what other kids eat hurts. As a mom, you try to sheild them from hurt..it's in the job description. So I understand why you're venting.

Oh God, I remember those days and DD's food allergies to eggs and milk. She has mostly outgrown them, but still won't eat most of them (like cheese) out of habit. Back when she was 2 it was hell. Her big sister would question everything anyone feed her (good girl) but she did not know at the time.

Even her own grandma was constantly giving her things with milk in them and it never occurred to her because it wasn't "milk"

Since you son is older and can make these choices for himself, I don't see it the same as giving a toddler forbidin food.

I was always buying things or giving things to my niece and nephew (who I see on a daily bases) after they got braces that i just didn't think of when I bought the food. A few years later now I am used to thinking about it when I buy stuff.

I am guessing because this is all new and fresh that it stuck a cord now. In a year you (and him) won't even bat a lash about it.

Also if she is taking a vacation and had to do it early, for all we know she got it ready a few weeks ago, before he even had the braces to start with. There going on a trip, I expect they have a lot on their minds right now.

 

[Beth76]

So would you say the same thing to someone say Lara or another parent who has a child with an allergy if they came on and vented about how someone gave their kid stuff.

Yes, I would say the same thing. You can't expect everyone else to know what every single kid can and can't have. It's a gift. It was a thoughtful gift. If your kid's diet is restricted somehow it YOUR job to make substitutions if needed.

There's a poster here whose son is severely allergic to several things. I'm sure many will know who I'm talking about, but I"m not going to bring her name into it. She sends snacks to her son's school so that he is not left out. She does not insist that everyone else cater to her child. That's what I would do if it it were my child.

Why can't you just tell your son, "Oh that's too bad, she must not know you can't have these things. We'll substitute it for something you can have. It was nice of her to think of you though." You can still give a thoughtful gift without overanalyzing the needs and wants of the recipient.

 

[Mkrop]

Yes, I would say the same thing. You can't expect everyone else to know what every single kid can and can't have. It's a gift. It was a thoughtful gift. If your kid's diet is restricted somehow it YOUR job to make substitutions if needed.

There's a poster here whose son is severely allergic to several things. I'm sure many will know who I'm talking about, but I"m not going to bring her name into it. She sends snacks to her son's school so that he is not left out. She does not insist that everyone else cater to her child. That's what I would do if it it were my child.

Why can't you just tell your son, "Oh that's too bad, she must not know you can't have these things. We'll substitute it for something you can have. It was nice of her to think of you though." You can still give a thoughtful gift without overanalyzing the needs and wants of the recipient.

I have told my son that. I never said I want my son not to accept the gift graciously. I have said over and over that my kids says thank you whether it is his favorite thing or not. My DS would never know of my frustration EVER.

I guess I am guilty of overanalyzing gifts I give. I constantly think about things like that but I guess not everyone is like that. Sorry I have a character flaw

I dont think the world revolves around my kid, I dont expect anyone to cater to my kid, if you knew me at all and my picky kid and what I do so people dont have to cater to his needs maybe some of the posters wouldnt be so harsh. But you dont so I have to deal with the fallout of my post.

Like I said over and over again, I would never give a child with braces gum and I thought this was something that was common knowledge so I was confused and yes a little frustrated that practically everything was gum related in his gift bag.