Vent! Easter gift from neighbors

[mumom95]

Really? I guess I thought that gun being a no-no everyone knew. I mean they had that back in the dark ages when I got braces. Now some of the stuff on the list had me blown away, like Doritos. But I thought eveyone knew about gum.

When I had braces there wasn't anything I wouldn't eat, popcorn, gum, anything. And I never had any trouble.

I can see why you wanted to vent, but I think you are right to not say anything. Sounds like your neighbor was trying to do something nice and just didn't know.

 

[LaraK]

You know, people give my son chocolate all the time...people I have expressly told he is allergic to chocolate...ever try to take a chocolate bar from a three year old? It's joyful!!!

I agree with the OP that nothing should be said, but having a kid cry because he can't eat what other kids eat hurts. As a mom, you try to sheild them from hurt..it's in the job description. So I understand why you're venting.

 

[Mkrop]

You know, people give my son chocolate all the time...people I have expressly told he is allergic to chocolate...ever try to take a chocolate bar from a three year old? It's joyful!!!

I agree with the OP that nothing should be said, but having a kid cry because he can't eat what other kids eat hurts. As a mom, you try to sheild them from hurt..it's in the job description. So I understand why you're venting.

Thank you for not bashing me for venting.

And yes I would not enjoy having to wrestle chocolate from a toddler either. I know he is 10 but he is incredibly bummed by what he is not allowed to eat. He is still a kid who gets excited about a present but although he knows not to show it and is taught to give an enthusastic thank you no matter what. I can tell by the look on his face when he puts stuff into the "give away" bowl I have for candy.

I know other people have said they have eaten this or that by I can assure that DS10 is not nicknamed Mr Literal for no reason. He will absolutely not touch anything the ortho tells him not to. He cried on the way home when he found out he couldnt have popcorn at the Flyers game he is going to on Easter.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The kids dont drive themselves to the store.

So what? Kids at that age are quite capable of picking out what they want to exchange for gifts with other kids. Maybe they picked out gum and the mother paid for it. I know I'm not a parent and am probably not allowed to have a say about this on here, but I do remember my mom letting me pick out the presents I exchanged when growing up. She just gave me a price limit.

I think it is a shame bc she spent her hard earned money on something that cant be enjoyed and will most likely get trashed

Seriously? Why would you throw it away? Can you not think of anyone else who might enjoy it? Heck, send it to me if you like. My teeth are as straight as rails. No worries about me not being able to chew it.

I know they eat chocolate, I have seen them, I know they eat peanut butter, have made them sandwiches and have discussed getting our picky kids trying to eat stuff other than pb for lunch. Have seen them eat lollipops.

Well, you certainly are on top of things. That's great but I don't think you can expect other people to remember all these details about your kids. Maybe she just has more on her plate to remember than the junk food that your children enjoy.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

You know, people give my son chocolate all the time...people I have expressly told he is allergic to chocolate...ever try to take a chocolate bar from a three year old? It's joyful!!!

I agree with the OP that nothing should be said, but having a kid cry because he can't eat what other kids eat hurts. As a mom, you try to sheild them from hurt..it's in the job description. So I understand why you're venting.

Yes but the OP's son is 10 years old! I would think that he would understand why he couldn't have certain things.

I'm surprised that people give your toddler food directly without checking with you first. That's the bigger problem, imo.

 

[Mkrop]

Seriously? Why would you throw it away? Can you not think of anyone else who might enjoy it? Heck, send it to me if you like. My teeth are as straight as rails. No worries about me not being able to chew it.

Most parents that I know are not thrilled when you give thier kids gum for no reason.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Most parents that I know are not thrilled when you give thier kids gum for no reason.

Really? Parents would have a problem with your son giving a friend a package of gum? I think we live in two completely different worlds. And furthermore, I thought you just said that you have a big bowl of candy to "give away" already?

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Do you really want to know?

6th grade girl. HS musical hand cream, HS musical lip balm, a Hershey bunny, a Resse egg, a Peep ring type pop, a couple of Easter pencils.

2nd grade boy a weird aerodynamic football thing, pencils, same candy as sister

Sounds like her kids got the better end of the deal, braces or not!

I just wish I had neighbors that would bother exchanging gifts with my children. I can barely get my neighbors to wave hello when walking to their mailbox.

Here's a flower for you. Don't let people's opinions on this ruin your day!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Do you really want to know?

6th grade girl. HS musical hand cream, HS musical lip balm, a Hershey bunny, a Resse egg, a Peep ring type pop, a couple of Easter pencils.

2nd grade boy a weird aerodynamic football thing, pencils, same candy as sister

Girl jumpred up and down over the hand cream and was beggind her mom to bring it on the trip, I jokingly reminded them about the 3 oz liquid rule and mom" said omigosh that is right, put it in your suitcase"

Boy asked mom if he could eat the candy now as he was opening the chocolate bunny and eating it, mom said " save some for the plane"

and "yeah and can you get our mail until next week"

I know they eat chocolate, I have seen them, I know they eat peanut butter, have made them sandwiches and have discussed getting our picky kids trying to eat stuff other than pb for lunch. Have seen them eat lollipops.

Sounds like you are a super observant and thoughtful mom. I am the same way; I go out of my way to notice and remember which kids can or can't have what, and plan/gift accordingly. If your kid can't have peanuts, my son's birthday party will be 100% peanut-free. If your kid has gluten issues, I will make gluten-free cupcakes for the Sunday school snack. That's just how I am, because my son can't have dairy and I GREATLY appreciate it when people remember that. Not all moms are like that, though. Sounds like your neighbor, while thoughtful enough to give Easter treats to your children, just isn't super observant and/or didn't realize kids with braces can't have gum. I am not even sure it would have occurred to me not to give gum in this situation, as no one in my family or close circle of friends has ever had braces. Now that you mention it, yes, I have heard that only some gums are safe for dental work...but I wouldn't have thought of it without it being mentioned at some point. So I would say that your frustration over having to switch out candy is noted (and point well taken, btdt and yes, it sucks), but I don't see it as an issue of a thoughtless neighbor, exactly.

 

[LaraK]

Yes but the OP's son is 10 years old! I would think that he would understand why he couldn't have certain things.

I'm surprised that people give your toddler food directly without checking with you first. That's the bigger problem, imo.

I don't care if you're 3, 10 or 30, you still try to protect your kid and a 10 year old with new braces is going to be upset about diet restrictions...it's a hard thing to do to a kid.

Any parent of a child with food allergies can tell you that people are forever giving your kids things without clearing it through you...one of my son's allergies is to bananas....bananas have a cross allergen with latex....balloons are made of latex. Do you know how often I have to say "no you can't give my son a balloon" in front of him? People who aren't in the situation don't always understand....which is why the OP isn't saying anything. It's still frustrating.

 

[Magickndm]

Most parents that I know are not thrilled when you give thier kids gum for no reason.

But it wasn't for "no reason", was it? You said it was for an Easter exchange.
This thread makes me wonder how many times I've inadvertently pissed off someone while trying to do something nice.
Uh oh, just noticed the gif for you son in your sig...he's eating popcorn. Better change that!

 

[Mkrop]

Sounds like her kids got the better end of the deal, braces or not!

I just wish I had neighbors that would bother exchanging gifts with my children. I can barely get my neighbors to wave hello when walking to their mailbox.

Here's a flower for you. Don't let people's opinions on this ruin your day!

Too late I guess. I had no idea I would get slammed like this. Oh well live and learn I guess.

 

[LaraK]

Really? Parents would have a problem with your son giving a friend a package of gum? I think we live in two completely different worlds. And furthermore, I thought you just said that you have a big bowl of candy to "give away" already?

I hate gum, don't allow it in my house and would prefer you not give it to my kids.

 

[mdrob214]

Thank you for not bashing me for venting.

And yes I would not enjoy having to wrestle chocolate from a toddler either. I know he is 10 but he is incredibly bummed by what he is not allowed to eat. He is still a kid who gets excited about a present but although he knows not to show it and is taught to give an enthusastic thank you no matter what. I can tell by the look on his face when he puts stuff into the "give away" bowl I have for candy.

I know other people have said they have eaten this or that by I can assure that DS10 is not nicknamed Mr Literal for no reason. He will absolutely not touch anything the ortho tells him not to. He cried on the way home when he found out he couldnt have popcorn at the Flyers game he is going to on Easter.

to your son. It sucks when something's right there and you can't have any. My DK's don't drink soda. Not that they can't or that I won't allow it so much, but that they won't as their swim coach told them not to, and they listen to him (Unlike me ) Even tho it's self-imposed they hate going somewhere that has no other options. I got into the habit of buying other drinks that we just take with us. Maybe tell him you'll buy a different treat to replace the sticky items? What if he tells the neighbor, innocently of course, that he really enjoyed the _____ that you replace the gum with?? No need for her to feel bad as it was a very nice gesture.

 

[Mkrop]

But it wasn't for "no reason", was it? You said it was for an Easter exchange.
This thread makes me wonder how many times I've inadvertently pissed off someone while trying to do something nice.
Uh oh, just noticed the gif for you son in your sig...he's eating popcorn. Better change that!

Yes I understand it was for an Easter exchange was how I received it. I dont know who I would give it away so as to not trash it. I have gotten some strange reactions when parents have picked up their kids from playdates and I have mentioned that Joey had a candy bar as a snack. (This doesnt happen all the time BTW) I can just see how thrilled parents would be if I sent Joey home with container of gum. And we arent talking one container, I just looked again, there are 4 big things of candy in the bag, they are all gum related except the jelly beans which he cant have either.

Yes I created the sig when I joined pre braces. Sorry I didnt get right on that.

 

[wilderness01]

I haven't read any responses but have to say, I would have no idea what the list of do's or don'ts were. The only thing I would think is sticky candy, i.e. jellybeans, starbursts, etc.

 

[Lintasare]

ALRIGHT...enough bashing the OP. She made an assumption and she was wrong and she admitted it. She was just trying to save her son from the disappointment of receiving things he cannot eat with his braces.

She was just expressing her disappointment in the choices her neighbor made, especially when she had already had an in-depth discussion with said neighbor.

 

[kimmikayb]

Didn't you say it was the chicken who poops gum? Your neighbor probably thought it was funny and didn't even give a second thought to the gum issue. I wouldn't have either and my DD14 just got her braces off and couldn't have gum.

I don't think your neighbor did anything wrong....silly string and a poopin chicken? Really, how can you go wrong there?

 

[Mkrop]

to your son. It sucks when something's right there and you can't have any. My DK's don't drink soda. Not that they can't or that I won't allow it so much, but that they won't as their swim coach told them not to, and they listen to him (Unlike me ) Even tho it's self-imposed they hate going somewhere that has no other options. I got into the habit of buying other drinks that we just take with us. Maybe tell him you'll buy a different treat to replace the sticky items? What if he tells the neighbor, innocently of course, that he really enjoyed the _____ that you replace the gum with?? No need for her to feel bad as it was a very nice gesture.

He knows not to ever mentioned a gift being different. I will explain that I put them in there that was a bad call on my part I guess. I winning all around today huh.

Niether of my kids like soda either so it is hard.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

It sounds like exchanges should just be banned altogether or people need to make a list of what's acceptable and what isn't as not to offend someone. Who knew a nice gesture could be taken so far out of context?