Vent! Easter gift from neighbors

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

This thread makes me wonder how many times I've inadvertently pissed off someone while trying to do something nice.

There are some people that will never be happy no matter what you do for them or how good your intentions. Keep on being generous. If the receiver has a problem with it, it's their issue not yours.

Yes I understand it was for an Easter exchange was how I received it. I dont know who I would give it away so as to not trash it.

Don't you have another child? A husband? Family members? Friends?

Ummm that was my point to the OP. The last part was that I wasn't supposed to chew gum but did anyway (unbeknownst to my mom) and not to tell her child so he wouldn't break the rules

I was agreeing with you.

I simply question the notion that you can't be irritated about something if the intention was good.

I think you're trying to make this conversation more philosophical than it actually is. Yes, I understand why people would be irritated in certain situations even if the intentions of another person would good. No, I don't understand the irritation and the two days worth of venting in this situation.

 

[SandraVB79]

First of all, when you have never had braces or don't have children that have braces, you might not even think about it.
Secondly, when I had braces, for some reason I can't remember, my dentist recommended to chew gum. So no gum because of braces is not always true.

 

[Mkrop]

Don't you have another child? A husband? Family members? Friends?



No, I don't understand the irritation and the two days worth of venting in this situation.

I have a 5 year old. I dont believe giving kids that age gum. In fact I am not a big fan of gum nor is DH eso the sweet Hubba Bubba type ugh. If either of us chew gum we chew somehting desiganed to freshen breath not to blow bubbles.

No one in my family is big on gum either.

And as you might have read in one of my posts before parents are usually less than thrilled when you send or serve little Johnny gum when they come over to play. If I offered it I bet you most parents (at least the ones I know) would politley decline bc they dont want or need it in their homes.

DH took it to work hoping to give it a home. Maybe someone there can use it but I know when I worked people would groan about any candy that was brought in.

Also this thread started yesterday, so according to my math that was one day, you were the one to revive it for a second day.

 

[NHdisneylover]

First of all, when you have never had braces or don't have children that have braces, you might not even think about it.
Secondly, when I had braces, for some reason I can't remember, my dentist recommended to chew gum. So no gum because of braces is not always true.

My orthodontist recommended I chew aspergum (the gum with asprin in it) to ease the pain after getting the braces on and every time they were tightened. (he did confirm that I had had chicken pox--no desire to risk rye's syndrome to ease a little pain). I was not restricted from gum at all.

 

[happygirl]

I have a 5 year old. I dont believe giving kids that age gum. In fact I am not a big fan of gum nor is DH eso the sweet Hubba Bubba type ugh. If either of us chew gum we chew somehting desiganed to freshen breath not to blow bubbles.

No one in my family is big on gum either.

And as you might have read in one of my posts before parents are usually less than thrilled when you send or serve little Johnny gum when they come over to play. If I offered it I bet you most parents (at least the ones I know) would politley decline bc they dont want or need it in their homes.

DH took it to work hoping to give it a home. Maybe someone there can use it but I know when I worked people would groan about any candy that was brought in.

Also this thread started yesterday, so according to my math that was one day, you were the one to revive it for a second day.

but you are the one that brought it back up, If you want people to let it go why keep responding

 

[LaraK]

but you are the one that brought it back up, If you want people to let it go why keep responding

She didn't bring it back up. The last post was last night at 10...then the person who was posting that it was a "two day vent" brought it into day two at 8:35 this morning.

 

[damo]

There are good life lessons in these types of things. Always look at the positive instead of the negative. He got some great things in that loot bag and someone went to a lot of effort for him. That's what should be remembered.

 

[Mkrop]

I will say this once again. I was under the assumption which I know is flawed that gum was not allowed. It was not allowed over twenty years ago when I had braces and according to the list in front of me provided by the ortho it still isnt. I even asked DH last night bc he is totally new to all this and has actually been questioning A LOT of what is happening with DS10 and this whole process and he said he thought gum wasnt allowed either.

We were given a mganet to hang on the fridge with reminders. This is what it sayswith little pictures too)

Absolutely NO (in stop sign)

Gum sugarless or otherwise
Caramels, Caramel Apples, Toffe, Licorice,Cinnamon Bears,Now& Laters, Starburts, Sugar Daddies, Tootise Rolls
Apples or Carrots (unless cooked or cut into small pieces), Nuts, Popcorn,Hard Candy,Corn on the Cob, Bagels, Pizza Crusts, Jerky, Hard Pretzels, Ice Doritos.

then under the Eat Much Less Candy, Ice Cream Cookies, Cake, Pie

Last it states Avoid chewing on pens, pencils and fingernails.

So no I would not expect anyone to know everything on this list. I certainly never had to avoid Doritos when I had my braces I would have died
But given what I did know I thought that is was common knowledge that gum and braces dont go together so hence my confusion and frustration with her gift choice.

But I have now learned that gum is allowed by certain orthos. Maybe it has to do with the type of hardware in your mouth, maybe ti is the individual ortho.

 

[Mkrop]

but you are the one that brought it back up, If you want people to let it go why keep responding

bc she asked me a question, do you ignore people when they ask you a question.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I didn't read the whole thread, but I would've just taken the gum out & put it in with the stuff you got her kids and just told her that since ds got braces he can't eat anything chewy so I thought your kids might enjoy it. It was probably just an oversight.

 

[disykat]

I think you're trying to make this conversation more philosophical than it actually is. Yes, I understand why people would be irritated in certain situations even if the intentions of another person would good. No, I don't understand the irritation and the two days worth of venting in this situation.

Oh I get it - you're allowed to express you opinion, others aren't!

Would I have vented about the same thing? No. My point is, a vent is a vent and anyone who claims they've never been inadvertantly irritated despite the intentions being good isn't being truthful IMO.

I was responding to those scolding the OP for daring to be mad when the intentions were good. If that wasn't you, just ignore my post.

 

[fltwinmom]

Don't you have another child?

Because taking gum away from a 10 year old who is probably sad because he won't be allowed to chew gum for the next 2 years and giving it to another sibling would be a smart idea?

Seriously. Do you have kids?

Bad idea. All around. I would just take the gum and throw it away if it came to that. Sorry, but giving a present (even if it is something as silly as a pack of gum) that was intended for one child and giving it to another family member is insane. AND cruel.


Mkrop, I completely understand your frustration. And, you said clearly in your opening post that you weren't going to say anything, that you were just frustrated in the fact that your son couldn't enjoy his easter gift and your neighbor slipped up and forgot about the fact that he had braces.

Also, FWIW, if I was paying all that money for my children to have straight teeth, I would follow the orthodontists orders to a "T" as well. If it says no gum - that means no gum. It's on your list for a reason.


to your son.

 

[slo]

I haven't read this whole thread - no time!!

I just wanted to say that I never had braces, and my kids, as of yet, don't have braces. I don't know all the details on what people should and shouldn't do. When I sit back and really think about it, it makes sense for no gum or jelly beans, but I wouldn't think of that when preparing a gift for someone's child (the only way I would, is if the parent and I just had a conversation about it).

I can think of an uncountable amount of times that someone gave my kids something they couldn't have (toys with small parts for my toddler, hard candy for my kids when they could choke on it), but I just smiled and said thank you, and had my kids say thank you.

This is not a flame, at all, I don't believe in flaming, but I wouldn't have removed the bad candy, and replaced it with other candy. I'm a big believer in children learning that life has it's disappointments, and sometimes you have to deal with it. I would have (and I truly have) told my child that even though they can't have the gift, that the neighbor was being really nice by giving the gift, and you need to thank them. Sure your child will be disappointed, but it's a good lesson to be learned. My parents did this with me, and I guess that's why I'm always grateful for what I receive, even if I don't like it, or can't have it.

In the end, I'm sorry you were annoyed, because I know as a parent, we always want our children to be happy - any parent that says they don't is probably lying. But I really don't think this is a big deal - I think the neighbor needs to be cut a little slack.

 

[va32h]

bc she asked me a question, do you ignore people when they ask you a question.

Well I do, if the question has already been answered. And I think this thread has been done to death.

We all have different perceptions - you assumed the gum chewing prohibition for people with braces was common knowledge. I would never have imagined that so many parents hate gum and forbid it in their homes (I have no strong opinions about gum either way).

So we've all learned something new. Someone is chewing all that gum or the companies that make gum would go out of business.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

She didn't bring it back up. The last post was last night at 10...then the person who was posting that it was a "two day vent" brought it into day two at 8:35 this morning.

Umm....we are in different time zones. Sorry but I wasn't about to stay up until 2 in the morning just to keep track of this thread.

My point is, if someone started a thread and quickly regretted doing so: A. Delete the OP immediately, and/or B. Stop posting to the thread hoping it would die a natural death. Instead, the OP choice to keep on repeating the same thing over and over and over again, thus prompting more replies. Also, if she actually did ask for a mod to close the thread, it would have been done by now.

 

[Mkrop]

Umm....we are in different time zones. Sorry but I wasn't about to stay up until 2 in the morning just to keep track of this thread.

My point is, if someone started a thread and quickly regretted doing so: A. Delete the OP immediately, and/or B. Stop posting to the thread hoping it would die a natural death. Instead, the OP choice to keep on repeating the same thing over and over and over again, thus prompting more replies. Also, if she actually did ask for a mod to close the thread, it would have been done by now.

I dont regret starting the thread. I made a mistake, a wrong assumption one that I have now admitted. I have learned something and I hope others might as well. Maybe others will think twice about buying a kid with braces gum or other sticky candies. Maybe not.

I didnt post on it until this morning when you came back on and asked a question. I dont need a mod to handle my battles. I chose the topic, I chose the fallout or support of which I have received both. You can choose to unsubscribe as well.

 

[LaraK]

I think you're trying to make this conversation more philosophical than it actually is. Yes, I understand why people would be irritated in certain situations even if the intentions of another person would good. No, I don't understand the irritation and the two days worth of venting in this situation.

Yeah, kinda gotta quote this and point out that I don't understand dragging something into day two and then venting about a vent being two days long. Further, I'm going to have to question someone complaining that another poster is answering questions on a thread when you're the one posting the questions. If you think the thread should die, no one is asking you to stay up until 2AM to keep in touch with it, but why on earth would you pull it up and then chide others for responding?

You can keep a thread going but we're not allowed to? And the whole "tell the mods to delete" thing...is that so you can then talk about people who "cry foul when people don't agree with them?"

Sorry, just don't get where you're coming from here except to keep things stirred up...call it what it is.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Yeah, kinda gotta quote this and point out that I don't understand dragging something into day two and then venting about a vent being two days long. Further, I'm going to have to question someone complaining that another poster is answering questions on a thread when you're the one posting the questions. If you think the thread should die, no one is asking you to stay up until 2AM to keep in touch with it, but why on earth would you pull it up and then chide others for responding?

You can keep a thread going but we're not allowed to? And the whole "tell the mods to delete" thing...is that so you can then talk about people who "cry foul when people don't agree with them?"

Sorry, just don't get where you're coming from here except to keep things stirred up...call it what it is.

I have no problem with this thread continuing. I think it's really interesting to see how differently other people think about a simple, nice gesture.

I think you misunderstood. I don't think the thread should die. It was the OP that was talking like that. I'm not chiding others for responding. Respond away! I'm not sure where you got that notion from. I was just informing the OP that if she wanted the thread to end, she was doing a poor job of making that happen.

 

[fltwinmom]

I was just informing the OP that if she wanted the thread to end, she was doing a poor job of making that happen.

Funny... I don't think she ever requested that....

 

[Mkrop]

I have no problem with this thread continuing. I think it's really interesting to see how differently other people think about a simple, nice gesture.

I think you misunderstood. I don't think the thread should die. It was the [/B]OP that was talking like that. I'm not chiding others for responding. Respond away! I'm not sure where you got that notion from. I was just informing the OP that if she wanted the thread to end, she was doing a poor job of making that happen.

If I wanted my thread to die I would kill it. I will discuss the issue if people are interested in discussing it if they are not it will go the way all threads do. I thought it had died when no one else seemed interested overnight. Ok on to the next topic no skin off my nose but YOU posted a question this morning and I answered it. I was taught that if someone asks you a question you answer it even if you are repeating yourself for the upteemth time.

So once again you can choose to go leave as well Bye Bye