Vendor meals etiquette?

[perla75]

Who do you purchase vendor meals for?

We will have a photographer for 3-4 hours but only for the ceremony and a photo shoot afterwards.

We will have a harpist for the ceremony only.

Other than those, We will have our planner who I'm assuming stays for the reception as well. We are not planning to invite our officiant to the reception.

Do we get vendor meals for them? If so, are they equivalent in price and content to a regular plated meal?

TIA!

 

[lurkyloo]

Vendor meals are usually only for vendors who have to be around all day (like, from pre-ceremony photos through to the end of a 5-hour reception). The exception seems to be Disney wedding planners—I've never seen anyone get a vendor meal for their planner. The vendor meal is usually a deli plate that costs around $20/person, but some couples pay for their vendors to eat what the guests are eating.

But in your case, I would say you don't need to get a vendor meal for anyone on your list.

 

[Nitsa]

I think it's worth at least asking your wedding planner if they would like a meal.*I'm sure the planners wouldn't dream of just adding a meal for themselves to your BEO, but after all, they are working all day just as much as your vendors, and surely need to eat too! We checked in with our planner, and I think she appreciated being thought about.

 

[girli565]

I only got a vendor meal for my photographer because he was with us since 10am through 5pm. But I did think that maybe we should have gotten the DJ one too because he was with us through the entire 5 hour ceremony. I meant to ask my planner but never got to it.

 

[Kristinella]

I work as a wedding planner in Philadelphia for The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants. It is pretty typical for couples to provide meals to the wedding professionals that they hire for their wedding. You do not need to provide a meal for the ceremony musician unless they are also playing at the cocktail hour or reception. As far as your photographers go...if they will be at the reception you should offer to feed them. Also a DJ should get a meal. And usually the planner gets a meal too; however being that it's Disney your Disney planner will not require a meal but I would double check. If you are hiring any outside wedding professionals read your contracts...a lot of professionals will list that they require a meal in the "fine print." Hope this helps...happy planning!

 

[sambycat]

i plan on doing a meal for our two photogs and our musician (and can offer to coordinator). here's my quandry - the vendor meals are like $20, but our photog mentioned "just let them know it's ok for us to grab a bite from the buffet". now i *think* she meant that more as a grab a nibble - and there will be TONS of food - but, as i sit here in the throws of budget panic - i kind of feel like $65/pp-ish for the vendors is steep although they totally deserve the greatest and i guess its awful of me to even question that but our guest list is tiny and it is like having 3 additional guests ( i suppose they get a paper napkin though??! HA!!)

 

[lurkyloo]

I'd be careful with this... Disney will be happy to charge you the regular guest rate so that your photographers can officially eat off the buffet. I think you'd be safer ordering them the vendor meal, and then if they happen to swipe a nibble or two off the buffet without your knowledge, well, it's all on them—you had nothing to do with it. (The reason they wanna eat off your buffet is that, as former Disney photographers, they know how lackluster the infamous deli plate is!)

 

[Brit_Jude]

I offered a meal to my Wedding Planner as she was with us all day and I am sure before the ceremony checking on the floral in the WP etc. She was very grateful as she said most people forget that they are with them all day. She stated that they aren't always able run off or bring something to eat. She declined as she was on a diet kick. I am sure they have something worked out or strategy but I think it would be ettiquette to offer your planner a vendor meal and make sure they get some water or something during the day.

 

[sambycat]

I offered a meal to my Wedding Planner as she was with us all day and I am sure before the ceremony checking on the floral in the WP etc. She was very grateful as she said most people forget that they are with them all day. She stated that they aren't always able run off or bring something to eat. She declined as she was on a diet kick. I am sure they have something worked out or strategy but I think it would be ettiquette to offer your planner a vendor meal and make sure they get some water or something during the day.

i promise to do the right thing! that said, this alwasy irritates me a little because i feed myself at work and so should vendors! HA!

bridezilla attacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm just going with the vendor plate and looking the other way....

 

[Brit_Jude]

Yeah...but at my office I get to take a break or at least sit at my own desk and eat my lunch....your wedding planner is not at their desk and are quite often a long way from where they work (answer the phone, check their e-mail) and they can't run back to their office or break room to eat their bag lunch as they are with you. How would you feel if you needed them and they had popped to a restaurant during your reception before they fainted. I know this may be a bit extreme but ya get my point in asking.

 

[Kimmers127]

I'd be careful with this... Disney will be happy to charge you the regular guest rate so that your photographers can officially eat off the buffet. I think you'd be safer ordering them the vendor meal, and then if they happen to swipe a nibble or two off the buffet without your knowledge, well, it's all on them—you had nothing to do with it. (The reason they wanna eat off your buffet is that, as former Disney photographers, they know how lackluster the infamous deli plate is!)

Carrie - what IS the deli plate, do you know?? I saw that as an option and just the title alone makes me feel like it could be pretty "meh"... especially in contrast to the (hopefully!) fantastic buffet spread out 5 feet away!

Just to be clear - should I be inviting my officiant to the recepton? What about the rehearsal dinner? And if I plan to use a violinist for both the ceremony and the pre-reception, should I order them a meal?

 

[SuzeQ]

I used to work in Entertainment at Disney and have worked many of the DFTW.

After they pull your buffet to the back, your photographers, videographers, servers and wedding planner can all get a little something to eat off of the buffet. You don't pay for that. Your D.J. or anyone else working the wedding can eat off of the buffet once it is pulled to the back. They always make lots of extra food. If you have two photographers, they can usually take turns and get something to eat off of your buffet once it's pulled. That is probably what your photographer was talking about and was just saying you didn't have to spend the money to buy a deli plate if you were having a buffet.

I'm having a sit down dinner and I plan on feeding everyone who is spending most of the day with us. My wedding planner, photographers, videographers etc.

HTH,
Suze

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

check your contract! I know with ours it said that a meal was provided if the photographers were there for 6+ hours. HTHs

 

[lurkyloo]

Carrie - what IS the deli plate, do you know?? I saw that as an option and just the title alone makes me feel like it could be pretty "meh"... especially in contrast to the (hopefully!) fantastic buffet spread out 5 feet away!

It's usually a plate of clammy cold cuts and a couple slices of bread OR, if they're "lucky," a kids meal of chicken tenders, corn and Mickeyroni. I wish I'd asked about this because I would have customized a vendor meal that someone might actually want to eat.

Just to be clear - should I be inviting my officiant to the recepton? What about the rehearsal dinner? And if I plan to use a violinist for both the ceremony and the pre-reception, should I order them a meal?

Etiquette says you should always invite the officiant to the reception, but unless s/he is a family friend, s/he will usually politely decline. It's just a nice thing to do, though. Same with the rehearsal dinner.

Not to start into another "how long can someone go without eating" debate, but I don't think you need to provide a meal for an entertainer who's only going to be there about 3 hours. If it were a DJ, that'd be a different story because s/he has to be there well ahead of time to set up and then stay to tear down at the end.

 

[swilshire]

Not to start into another "how long can someone go without eating" debate, but I don't think you need to provide a meal for an entertainer who's only going to be there about 3 hours. If it were a DJ, that'd be a different story because s/he has to be there well ahead of time to set up and then stay to tear down at the end.

As the wife of a musician, I can assure you that they are always grateful to be offered food when they take a break. Usually at a buffet, the guests have all eaten by then and they get the leftovers. Since they arrive quite early to set up and are there for several hours, it makes a big difference in their enjoyment of the evening.

Sheila

 

[sambycat]

thats what is weird to me - you KNOW there is a gazillion pounds of food and the whole pull things to the back should be how its done i think! i mean as far as charging. part of what one does pay for is also service and ambiance and thats what i figure into the per plate cost as we consider it.

in any event, i think i am just going with vendor meal unless our budget comes down. if i'm feeling flush later on we can do that and i pray that disney does let people nibble backstage!

 

[lurkyloo]

As the wife of a musician, I can assure you that they are always grateful to be offered food when they take a break. Usually at a buffet, the guests have all eaten by then and they get the leftovers. Since they arrive quite early to set up and are there for several hours, it makes a big difference in their enjoyment of the evening.

In the OP's case, the musician is a violinist (no setup) and will be leaving before the buffet opens.