Using the term "you people"

[luvestodizz]

How does someone referring to your family as you people make you feel? I'd like to hear responses before posting how it was done and by whom. Discuss...

 

[jaminmd]

How does someone referring to your family as you people make you feel? I'd like to hear responses before posting how it was done and by whom. Discuss...

Doesn't bother me a bit & I use the phrase myself. I don't let phrases like that offend me. Was their intent to be insulting? In that case, they're just ignorant. Otherwise, I'm not one to look for ill intent when none was intended.

I hope that made sense.

 

[golfgal]

How does someone referring to your family as you people make you feel? I'd like to hear responses before posting how it was done and by whom. Discuss...

 

[NikitaZee]

It doesn't bother me - my grandma used to say it so it reminds me of her. My mother, though, used to hate it when she used the term 'you people'.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Well, IMO you can take it different ways. It can sound kind of "isolating" as in "not us", so I can see where it can come off as not a great thing to say especially if the message and tone isn't upbeat.

 

[LuvOrlando]

It means nothing at all to me. I am aware that this is a phrase that stirs a lot of people up. It's been pegged a form of hidden racism and a way to minimize others but to me it just means 'you people' aka a group the speaker does not include him or herself within. As in, "You people who don't have to cook for Thanksgiving are lucky" or "You people who know how to ski down the triple diamond slopes are amazing." I guess it could be hurtful if it's used in a mean way but the phrase itself is not a problem, mean words are mean words no matter what form they take.... but that's just me.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I take no offense unless offense is intended.

 

[Joyciemc]

I don't like the phrase. I can't think of a time when I've heard it that wasn't in a condescending way. The 'you' isn't necessary, just 'people' works fine when referring to a group that the speaker doesn't belong to, imho.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't particularly care for it as it usually has a negative conotation to me. I also think it makes a person sound ignorant and uneducated.

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't like it, but only because I've never heard it in anything but a negative way.

 

[beaucoup]

I know someone who says it and it comes across in a very negative way.

 

[luvsJack]

I just thought it was another way to say "ya'll" or "you all". In fact I used "you people" the other day. I was talking to my mom about Thanksgiving and asked "did you people ever decide where you are having dinner", meaning her and the ones she is having dinner with.

I guess if I said to an African American male, "you people sure do know how to dance" or someother ridiculous stereotype reference, then it would be an insulting phrase. But, I have only heard it used that way in the movies or on TV, never in real life.

 

[Mr.MouseFan]

I am definitely not a fan of the phrase. I, and everyone else being referred to, have a name. Please feel free to use it. If there are too many, "all of you" "your group", "everyone", "y'all", etc would suffice.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Depends on who is saying it and the context. The words by themselves are not derogatory, but I can see a situation involving a stereotype where it would be. And no, I am not posting an example. You people are just going to have to deal with that.

 

[luvmy3]

I am definitely not a fan of the phrase. I, and everyone else being referred to, have a name. Please feel free to use it. If there are too many, "all of you" "your group", "everyone", "y'all", etc would suffice.

To me you people is no different than using any of those
OP, I have no issues with the term unless its specifically used in a negative way.

 

[epcotprincess]

Honestly, I think it immediately puts the listener on the defensive because it comes across as isolating and accusatory. Of course, everything depends on the speaker, the intonation, and what preceded or followed "you people." Body language also factors in, since something like 80% of our communication is in our body language and facial expressions.

For example, someone pointing a finger and saying in an accusatory tone, "what's with you people?" Not cool. Someone hugging you and saying, "I love you people!" Entirely different, of course.

I don't use "you people" and I don't really like it when it's said to me in an uncertain tone. However, my MIL and DH's grandmother and other older family members routinely use "your people" or "Epcot's people" in reference to my side of the family. My grandmother does this as well for DH's side. As in, "I heard you are heading over see to Epcot's people, I hope they are doing well." Or, "Your people are Polish and that's one of their traditions." I don't have a problem with "your people."

 

[Acklander]

It would depend on the delivery.

 

[java]

It would depend on the delivery.

I agree with this. Context is what would determine how I feel about it.

You people are so funny- not offensive

Oh you people again- offensive

 

[Pigeon]

I've been married for 30 years, and I still refer to dh's family as "you people" or worse, "those people" after they've done something particularly boneheaded. He gets a chuckle out of it.

It wouldn't offend me to be called that.

 

[NotUrsula]

However, my MIL and DH's grandmother and other older family members routinely use "your people" or "Epcot's people" in reference to my side of the family. My grandmother does this as well for DH's side. As in, "I heard you are heading over see to Epcot's people, I hope they are doing well." Or, "Your people are Polish and that's one of their traditions." I don't have a problem with "your people."

LOL. I don't know your ethnic tradition, but "your people" IME is pure Irish. No one with an Irish surname can meet an elderly Irishwoman without getting the question, "And where are your people from, dear?" It comes from the diaspora, when parts of every family emigrated somewhere or other, and you never knew when someone might once have been a near neighbor. It's Irish vernacular to refer to one's family as one's "people".

"You people" doesn't bother me if it is used when speaking of a small group of people, all of whom the speaker has actually met on more than one occasion. Using it as an ethnic or racial generalization is something else entirely.