UPDATE in First Post!!! Fraternities/Sororities

[MissMinnie]

DCV Liz........Congrats to your daughter!! I hope her college years are a wonderful time for her and that she finds her sorority to be a positive part of it.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Surely they taught you the difference between fiction and non-fiction, right? A feel-good speech is just that.

The theory is that if it walks like a duck, has feathers like a duck, and quacks like a duck, well, it probably is a duck. The frats and sororities were/are a hotbed of problems on our campus (and we only have 8 total). (Not the one I attended but the one I work at off and on, in the counseling center) It is nice, though that you personally didn't have such problems.

OP- I'm glad your daughter is happy, even though we see this differently. (you might not send your daughter off to France like I have either!) Oftentimes, the pledges aren't allowed to talk about their experiences, and you might want to make sure she knows that it is ok to talk to you or someone on the campus (counseling center, etc.) if something happens that doesn't feel safe to her.

Yes, I think I've got a pretty good handle on fiction and nonfiction. It is also true that authors are rarely completely objective; whether a screenwriter or an author, both are largely the writer's opinion. Only medical journals, psychological journals, data, etc. are completely objective. So, while Legally Blonde is (obviously) fiction, I would hope that people would recognize that not everything they read in Pledged is gospel either, and gather other sources to form their own opinion.

I know some in sororities and fraternities do have problems, but it's due to the individual people in the sororities and fraternities not the Greek community as a whole. I can completely understand why you might feel that way due to your job-you only hear the negative and like the other poster said your job definitely colors your viewpoint.

However, as a former Vice President New Member Educator (Pledgemaster/Pledgemom) I do strongly agree with your advice about talking to a friend, family member or counselor if someone's initiation is causing him/her undue stress or breaking any hazing laws. It gives us all a bad name when others are behaving badly. If we would like to see the good of the Greek community continue, we need to make sure those few bad apples don't spoil the bunch.

 

[tkd lisa]

I was in a sorority (Alpha Sigma Alpha) at my small college. There were 3 sororities and about 12 fraternities when I was there in the mid-80s. Engineering school, so the ratio was about right compared to the demographics of 3 guys to every girl.

I personally did not witness hazing in any of the sororities (and I got bids to all 3). Our rush activities were fairly informal and weren't part of a "rush week". I did hear of and see some hazing in the fraternities.

As far as the "clique" nature, considering that I was in an engineering school, the standards were probably pretty different. Even the "pretty girls" sorority had a mixture of sizes, shapes, and looks. And I don't think anyone was pressured to change their appearance.

My sorority gave me life long friends, and a reasonable place to live while I was at college. I spent less on sorority expenses than I would have living on or off campus. It's different for every campus and every house.

I wouldn't say it's for everyone, neither would I say that it's bad for everyone.

 

[noodleknitter]

Lulu, those are some very good points! I try my best not to be paranoid or cynical, but it comes out on occasion. Thank you for not taking my comment seriously! I meant to put a smiley there, and didn't think about it! I know that you sound like a lovely well-educated teacher. Ok...looked back, and saw that I remembered the smiley!

Bad apples ruin a lot of things, don't they?

 

[sharbear]

Whoo, Hoo, Congrats to DVCLiz D!!!!!!!!

 

[DVCLiz]

OP- I'm glad your daughter is happy, even though we see this differently. (you might not send your daughter off to France like I have either!) Oftentimes, the pledges aren't allowed to talk about their experiences, and you might want to make sure she knows that it is ok to talk to you or someone on the campus (counseling center, etc.) if something happens that doesn't feel safe to her.

Thanks for your good wishes, and I will certainly let her know she has resources if something doesn't seem right for her. DD is not the type of girl to put up with something she doesn't believe in for a minute, so I think she'll do really well. Of course, it goes without saying I'm making some assumptions that might not be true, but I'm fairly confident in both her judgement and her ability to find and use appropriate resources.

DD hasn't been to France (yet!), but she has traveled to Chile and Uganda, both school trips, and she just found out she'll spend the month of January in Japan for her interim, so she's getting some great opportunities. Like the sorority, I hope she'll have a great experience on this trip. She had some life-changing experiences on her previous trips, especially the Africa one, so I'm really happy that she'll be able to take advantage of this great new opportunity. It's a pretty good week to be her, with her happiness about Rush, her 18th birthday, her new trip and the final interview for her Girl Scout Gold Award completed - I'll have to remember this so when she calls to say she's stressed out or she's having some other kind of crisis I can remind her of her good times!!!

 

[noodleknitter]

Wow! My son is going to Japan next summer with 4H, and is really excited! We had a student here this summer, and he will be staying with them!

We were in Honduras over Spring Break. Traveling outside the states teaches a lot, I think. With that kind of experience under her belt, I suspect that she is pretty grounded!

 

[DVCLiz]

Wow! My son is going to Japan next summer with 4H, and is really excited! We had a student here this summer, and he will be staying with them!

We were in Honduras over Spring Break. Traveling outside the states teaches a lot, I think. With that kind of experience under her belt, I suspect that she is pretty grounded!

Well, I always have this tiny, tiny little flickering flame deep in the back of my mind that whispers, "Are you crazy? Your BABY is halfway across the world with only her biology teacher's husband as protection against WILD ANIMALS!!!!" But I am very much in favor of travel because DD has benefited so much from it, in terms of seeing the world differently and especially appreciating not only her "things" but her luck in being an American citizen, etc. She's very much interested in how other cultures live, so it will be interesting to see how Japan shapes that further. Of course, she's really excited about seeing a Sumo wrestling match too!!!! I am glad, though, because I wouldnt' be able to send her on these trips if they weren't student groups - we can get to Orlando on a fairly regular basis, but I'm pretty sure we won't be going to Tokyo on our own!!!!


Wouldn't it be funny if you worked at my DD's college, and we had totally different feelings about the exact same scenario???? I don't think the numbers of sororities and fraternities match up, though!!!!

Today is fraternity Bid Day, so keep your fingers crossed that "the boyfriend" gets his first choice, too.....

 

[noodleknitter]

That would be too funny! Hope all works out for her boyfriend also.

I wanted to apologize, though for just "assuming" that she was the "typical" 17 year old. I try to stay away from both assumptions and generalizations, and I spoke hastily. I know better!

(We went to Honduras with the college, and my daughter is in France thru her work with another college.) Japan, well, we are just sucking it up, and not going to Orlando this year!

 

[DVCLiz]

That would be too funny! Hope all works out for her boyfriend also.

I wanted to apologize, though for just "assuming" that she was the "typical" 17 year old. I try to stay away from both assumptions and generalizations, and I spoke hastily. I know better!

(We went to Honduras with the college, and my daughter is in France thru her work with another college.) Japan, well, we are just sucking it up, and not going to Orlando this year!

Believe me, in some ways she is very much the typical 17 year old!!!!! She has always seemed more mature than her friends, though, and that has been consistent throughout her school years. Her younger sister, on the other hand...

The nice thing about school trips, expensive as they are, is that they do present a really good experience for the money. DD did some fundraising for the other two through her school, which helped quite a bit. She's getting Japan as a birthday/Christmas gift, so I hope the relatives will kick in a little.
And I don't think we'll be doing anything fancy next year, either - I borrowed most of my DVC points for a summer trip this year, so I hope DD has enough fun in Japan for the whole family!!!!