Unity candle vs. sand ceremony

[geek+nerd]

DF and I are having a tough time deciding which we want to do. What did you do/have you decided to do and why?

Part of me really likes the sand ceremony, but part of it seems kind of childish to me, too (eg, making sand art in art class in grade school).

I think hearing from others might help us make up our minds.

TIA!

 

[TinkLoverSam]

What about the Wine Box/Love Letter Ceremony that Boardwalk Bride did? That's what I'm doing as neither having a candle at my outdoor ceremony or not having the sand ceremony survive the trip home appealed to me.

 

[Chilly]

We did the candle's and now we have them in our living room at home.

 

[sunset30]

We're doing candles, it just appealed to us more, and there is a better chance that they will last the flight home!
Lx

 

[Ann117]

I am doing a tree planting ceremony. I really like the idea that I can plant the tree when we get home and watch it grow. We are also sprinkling dirt in the pot from both of our childhood homes to represent our two families becoming one.

 

[Brit_Jude]

I'm planning a sand ceremony. Two reasons both my parents have passed away so I do not have a mother to light the taper. We also wanted to have DF's sons join in. The sand ceremony will be DF, me, and my soon to be 2stepsons. We thought it was a nice way to symbolize the "blending" of our new family. I though the sand ceremony a better fit for our situation.

 

[GirTheGecko]

What about the Wine Box/Love Letter Ceremony that Boardwalk Bride did? That's what I'm doing as neither having a candle at my outdoor ceremony or not having the sand ceremony survive the trip home appealed to me.

That sounds really interesting and different.

 

[jimanda44]

My husband and I each had 2 kids of our own when we got married and we decided to do the sand for the blending of families as well. We got married on the Boardwalk's Sea Breeze Point. (Boardwalk is our DVC home) All 4 of the kids had different colored sand that we ordered and our sand was sand from the Beach club because that is where we spent the first moments of honeymoon together, ( which was before the wedding week due to timing and actually our first vacation to Disney w/o any kids) All of our guests loved the sand ceremony and say it was much more modern than the traditional candle .And if your wedding is outside...a candle might not light! I would love to tell you that we carried it on to the plane with no problems, but the truth is that my hubby tried to pick up the entire sand filled vase by the rim and cracked the vase down to the bottom. I scooped all the sand back out into bags and got it home safely to have a redo session of the ceremony.We did bring our white chocolate castle cake topper home in the overhead from Orlando to Chicago. I actually LOVE our redone vase better than the one we did on site because of it's history, but it is so pretty and looks so cool in our little wedding "shrine" in our living room. Best Wishes!

PS our cake topper has been in our fridge since 9.09.

 

[tinkerbell 766]

I am agonizing about this!!
I am from the UK and we are doing a VR in May. I would love to do a sand ceremony and include our three children but I am really concerned about the headache of getting the arrangement home in hand luggage on the plane. You have given me the idea of ordering double the quantity of sand and leaving half of it at home so that we can ditch the sand used in the ceremony, fly the utensils home empty and re-do it at home!! Not quite the same, I know, but I think the sand ceremony vases have a better chance of making it home intact whilst empty and I am sure our sand would only become all mixed up on the 10 hour plane journey home (even carrying it in our hand luggage). Thanks for the idea!!

 

[lpizzuro123]

We also did not want to do the sand ceremony because it reminded me too much of sand art that you would do at a fair but our ceremony was outside (
Epcot Italy) and we did the candle ceremony but could not get the candle to stay lit. I am glad we did the candle ceremony but am a little sorry we did not do the sand ceremony. Is your ceremony outside or inside?

Linda

 

[weedee]

We did a sand ceremony. Ever since my good friends told us they sold their unity candle on ebay (they also couldn't light it at their outdoor ceremony), I've just been really turned off to a candle that would collect dust and never be lit again. We actually struggled about even doing the sand ceremony, but it turned out really lovely and we didn't use any harsh colors that would clash with everything. I'm really glad we did it because it's actually a pretty keepsake to have that could never be recreated exactly that way again

 

[daisygirl902]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I was originally planning a unity candle...however then one day I thought of the symbolism of blowing out my candle and just having that one flame lit on "our candle" and it kind of freaked me out a bit. I am not the "extinguish my own flame" type of person....so the sand ceremony spoke more to our relationship and seemed more "us".

I liked the symbolism of the sands being permanently blended (I am also having a solid layer of each poured in the bottom to represent each of us as individuals as well...I know you may all think I'm nuts but if I'm doing it I want it to be a truly meaningful thing that represents us in our own way).

Keep in mind I have absolutely nothing against unity candles and have seen it over and over at different weddings and never thought about this side of it until I was about to do it myself....it's all about what works for the couple doing it!

I also can't see keeping a candle lit at SBP! It's always windy there!

 

[Tinker Bell Fan]

I've convinced DH that we should do a sand ceremony for our VR (for our 20th anniversary) next year. When I explained it to him, he really liked the idea. Our colors will be red & white (like we had at our wedding) so I'm hoping it would look good.

I wish there were more photos of folks during their sand ceremony. I haven't seen many.

I like the sand ceremony better than the candle one because of the fact that it will be a unique way to show how we have become as one. Plus no two sand ceremonies would be the same which it makes it even more unique just like our love is unique. Sappy I know!

 

[geek+nerd]

Thanks for the responses, everyone! I appreciate the feedback, lots to consider.

If we do decide to do candles, we wouldn't blow out our individual ones. That's something I'm adamant about

 

[DznyGal]

We did the sand ceremony, and if it wasn't for DH not realizing what he was doing when packing it would have come home exactly how it was at the ceremony. I used Disney Floral for our jar, and it does have a nice lid. The only problem was the lid has space in it, so when DH layed it on it's side the sand slid into the lid and 'messed' it up a bit. It was only that way for a second or two so we stood it back up right away.
I packed it in my carry-on luggage and it came home without any further problems. That bag also had my bouquet, and our Memorial candle for DH's dad. So needless to say I was SUPER careful with the entire bag.

Everything made it home safe and sound.

 

[CastawayClubCruisers]

We were married at SBP and used the unity sand for fear the candles wouldn't stay lit. My daughter had her own colour sand as well and we blended the three. We brought are own vase from home keeping in mind it needing to travel when we bought it, with a stopper so it wouldn't spill out the top. It made it in both directions without any issue. We were married 01 2007 and it still sits in our living room today.

 

[DisneyFirefly]

I'm not a bride, but I love looking at wedding stuff and I found this on Offbeat Bride. I'm not really into either the unity candle or the sand ceremony, but this is something I really like and will probably do if I ever get married.

http://offbeatbride.com/2010/06/salt-ceremony-wedding-gift

 

[Bridie1996]

We did a quaich cup ceremony inspired by Lorilei's Loving Cup ceremony.

The candle and the sand ceremonies weren't really appealing to us, so we searched for something else and this jumped out.

We liked the symbolism of handing the double-handled cup to each other to drink from. Since you have to take it with both hands, you're making yourself vulnerable to the other person.

Add the facts that I'm Irish American, and that we had a friend brew a special microbrew beer just for us to use in the ceremony, and it was perfect. Or nearly so, since the quaich cup specifically is Scottish. But all celtic groups had traditions of marking a welcome with a drink, so who is going to quibble, right?

We took pieces of some other ceremonies to make our own, and each drank from the cup 3 times.

Once for the love we shared in the past, once for the love we shared on the wedding day and once more for the love we'd share through the future.

We had our officiant poor the beer into the cup, but could have easily each chosen a family member to poor the beer into the cup if we wanted to.

It worked well, and was much more "us" than the candle and sand ceremonies.

 

[erin.w]

I'm really liking these other types of ceremony ideas, thanks!

 

[pixiegirl]

I personally want to the sand ceremony but my fiance says no way because it is like a school project. So we are going to do the Unity Candle. We are having an indoor wedding so I don't need to worry about the flame not staying lit. I think the sand ceremony is perfect for couples who have children from previous relationships to get the whole family involved. I think that is beautiful.